The Silvercore Podcast with Travis Bader

Travis speaks with Nikki van Schyndel from the hit TV series, ALONE where she spent 51 days isolated in the Arctic. Nikki is a the bestselling author of “Becoming Wild”, Ted Talk alumni, former sponsored snowboarder and all around cool person. Tune in to listen to near death experiences, Sasquatch stories and inspiration on what drives a person to endure such extremes. This is a podcast you don’t want to miss.

Purchase Nikki's book here: https://amzn.to/33GBn2t

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What is The Silvercore Podcast with Travis Bader?

The Silvercore Podcast explores the mindset and skills that build capable people. Host Travis Bader speaks with hunters, adventurers, soldiers, athletes, craftsmen, and founders about competence, integrity, and the pursuit of mastery, in the wild and in daily life. Hit follow and step into conversations that sharpen your edge.

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Today I'm joined by a
modern day Thoreau, the

author of Becoming Wild:
Living the Primitive Life

on a West Coast Island.

She's a TED Talk
graduate and contestant

on History channel's
hit TV series, Alone.

Where she survived
51 days in the Arctic

on next to nothing.

Welcome to The
Silvercore Podcast,

Nikki van Schyndel.

Oh thanks for having me.

I am so excited
to have you.

It's been about
what a year there?

Yeah, definitely, at
least a year, right?

Yeah.

We've been texting and
talking back and forth

and we're finally able
to make this connect.

You know, I've got
your book, great

book by the way.

Mmm, thanks.

Anybody who's interested
in being alone or living

a primitive lifestyle or
what it might be like.

I would definitely
recommend checking out,

Becoming Wild: Living
the Primitive Life on

a West Coast Island.

So when I read
through that, I found

a few similarities.

You know, I'm looking
at things that you have

done and that you do,
and I'm looking back at

some things in my life.

And a few of the
similarities I found,

well, one was just kind
of a funny one; you

had a cat named Scout.

Yeah.

So I've got a
daughter named Scout.

Oh my gosh
that's awesome!

Was, was that inspired
by Harper Lee's novel?

No actually, uh,
it was inspired by,

uh, the ancient,
like Apache Scouts.

Ahh, I love it.

Yeah.

She was incredible.

She's still alive, she's
actually retired living

in town with my mom now,
but she, I think she's

about 20 years old now.

Holy, that's, so I'm
not a cat person,

probably because I'm
allergic to cats.

That'd be a primary one.

I remember as a kid,
I really wanted a

cat and I, I'm doing
air quotes here.

I, I found a cat and
I clutched it so close

to my chest and it
was clawing me up and

anyways, I brought
it home and I told my

parents, I said, this
cat followed me home,

can we keep it, right?

My parents like, yeah,
yeah, followed you home.

And I'm like, I don't
know why I'm so itchy and

look, took off my shirt,
took a look and sure

enough absolute hives.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, I'm not a
cat person either,

but I found her
slightly similar.

She was abandoned by
her feral mother and.

Oh okay.

And, uh, I was going
off on this big survival

trek and I said, okay
cat, like, you can hang

out with me, but this
is what your life's

going to be like.

So you're going to
have to be wild.

And she was amazing.

That's not too
bad for a cat.

Yeah, she's
incredible cat.

So reading
through your book.

You make a number
of references

to Sam Gribley.

Let me just reach
into my bag here.

Oh!

Like wow, one of
the original copies.

Look what I got.

Cool.

So if you look on
the front cover

there or, sorry.

Yeah, there you go.

Look at your
writing, it's like

tiny kid writing.

It hasn't
progressed much.

What I just handed
Nikki here, is my

original book, My
Side of the Mountain.

So cool.

So I think it was what
grade four when I got

that book and I loved
that book and reading

through your book.

You love that
book as well.

Oh yeah.

This was my favorite
book of all times.

I mean, I wanted
to be Sam Gribley

more than anything.

When I was a kid,
I just like after

school, I'd run into
the bush and start

making bows and arrows
and picking berries.

And I was like, I'm
going to be Sam.

And then I grew up
obviously and forgot

all about Sam until,
you know, I was in my

twenties and started
learning all this stuff

about survival and
living off the land.

And one day I was at,
uh, one of my teacher's

house and I pulled
this book off the shelf

and it was this, My
Side of the Mountain.

Yeah?

And I thought, oh
my gosh, I have

all these crazy
skills to go be Sam.

Totally.

Like I'm going
to go do it.

And, uh, that's why,
uh, yeah, I was really

inspired by this book.

I named my little
road book Gribley and

it was really cool.

Yeah, I, for whatever
reason, that book

really resonated
with me as a kid.

And, uh, so much to the
point that I decided

at lunchtime to sneak
into the classroom

and steal that book.

And as I'm stealing that
book, the teacher comes

in and then I've got
to come up with a story

and the teachers are,
what are you doing Trav?

I said, oh, you know, I
just, um, whatever I came

up with, he says, oh, why
do you have that book?

Oh, no, that book,
that's my book I

said, total lie.

The teacher says
your book is it?

And grabs it from me,
opens it up and takes a

look on the inside and
sure enough, there's the,

uh, the school stamp on
there and looks at me.

He's like, you sure
this is your book and

I'm, now I'm fully
committed to the lie.

Like, uh, like what
do you do when your

in grade four like,
yes, that's my book.

The teacher, you
can see the rip

on the page there.

The teacher rips a
page out and says,

well, if it's your
book, you better

put your name in it.

Oh, that's so cool.

And the teacher
said, but this is

between you and me.

If anyone asks,
essentially,

I'll deny it.

And I thought, holy
crow, that's, that's

a cool teacher, so
I've held onto that

book ever since.

Cause it's a.

Super cool.

It's an interesting
story, about a kid,

lives in the wild.

And I never really
liked the ending where

he moved back home.

Yeah, neither did
I, neither did I.

That is so cool that she
was like, you know what?

He loves this book
so much, I'm going

to give it to him.

Have you ever been
in touch with that

teacher since?

No, I haven't.

I mean, look your life,
you know, just like Sam.

Totally.

Me just like Sam.

I actually contacted,
um, Jean Craighead

George, when I got back.

Really?

And said, hey, I
got to say your

book has inspired
me my whole life.

And I just wanted to
say, hey, I became Sam.

And she wrote back
immediately said, I've

been waiting for a
kid to tell me this.

And I'm going to tell
every other kid that

you can be Sam too.

Cause she just constantly
gets letters from so many

kids that is inspired
by her by her book.

Um, unfortunately she
passed away right before

my book was published.

I couldn't send
her a copy, but we

chatted all the time.

Christmas cards,
sending pictures.

She was actually an
extraordinary woman.

Really?

Mhmmm.

Did, was there
any bit of.

Yes!

Sam in her?

Oh yeah.

Her father, I think
was one of the

first, um, falconers.

Oh really?

Yeah.

And, uh, she spent
lots of time in

the bush learning
all these things.

Yeah, she was really
an amazing woman.

That is so cool.

So you spent, and your
book talks about a year

and a half that you spent
out living primitively

on an Island here in BC.

Yeah.

Did you want to talk
a little bit about.

Sure.

What primitively means?

Yeah.

Exactly.

Well, I was a pretty
hardcore, I just gotta

be all primitive, so
absolutely nothing

modern, no knife,
just stone tools

and bows and arrows.

And I was, you know,
sleeping in hides and

making everything from
baskets to clothing,

to, um, bone hooks and
rope, cedar bark rope.

And, and then there
became this point where

it was like, you know
what a frying pan is an

amazing invention, you
know, I love this pot.

Yes.

And so, it just
came time to be

like, you know what?

It's okay that I'm going
to keep a frying pan.

Like making clay
pottery and dealing

with frying on rocks
all works, obviously.

But there was more, I
wanted to learn about,

you know, living out in
the wild and the time it

takes to live absolutely
primitively like that.

There's no, no
tribe, I don't have

a tribe, I don't have
a people to help.

So I made these
exceptions where I

would keep, you know,
a bunch of rope and

then I would just tie
cedar bark onto it.

Okay.

I made thousands of feet
of cedar bark rope, but

it became like, wow, I
need even more to live.

So I would just
tie cedar bark onto

fishing line and have,
you know, 40 feet of

cedar bark and then
regular fishing line.

And so there was
ways that I utilized

some modern gear.

Um, I kept my
knife, I kept an ax.

Right.

I mean, try, you
know, axing down a

tree with a stone.

Yeah, good luck.

I've tried.

It takes forever.

Yes.

You can do it.

It is doable.

But you know, I'm not
trying to prove that

this stuff worked.

So, um, yeah.

And there was this other
things I kept a saw and

just some basic stuff.

Um, I got rid of the fish
hooks, which was really,

really interesting,
uh, made bone hooks

to make them work.

And, um, there was some
things that I wasn't

willing to go modern.

Like I made all my
bows and arrows and.

I saw that, that's
pretty cool.

Yeah.

Um, so yeah, I did
sleep in hides.

Uh, I kept
modern clothing.

I did make a bunch
of clothing, but like

walking around in
a cedar bark skirt

just isn't quite as
good as Carhartts.

No kidding.

Well, you, you came from
a pretty, you came from a

background, you, you were
sponsored snowboarder at

what, 23 I think it was?

Yeah.

Something like that.

Yeah.

In my twenties and yeah,
I definitely didn't

come from a family of.

You know,
outdoors people.

My dad was into camping
a little bit, but you

know, we had a motor
home and I just, yeah,

my, my family is not a
real big outdoor person.

So I grew up pretty
privileged show

jumping horses and.

Yeah.

Just a different
life from what I

live now, for sure.

Wasn't there a horse
named Ivy at some point?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

There was a lot of
horses and, um, my

family in Holland, uh,
raises show jumpers and

I got my start there.

Okay.

And, uh, just, just
my life for all of

my teenage years.

And I think I started
maybe when I was eight.

Okay.

And I just wanted to
go to the Olympics.

That's all I breathed
and dreamed was horses.

And, um, yeah, I
just want to know

the Olympics,
like my trainer.

And then, you know,
it's expensive sport.

Totally.

And my mother one day
was like, all right,

um, she's going to buy
this horse named Ivy.

It was going to be my,
you know, big junior

jumper and found this
horse that was very

cheap in the world of,
uh, show jumpers, but

it was this undiscovered
gem, if you will.

So I was like, I'm going
to make so much money

on this horse next year.

Mama's gonna be amazing.

And my trainer, not all
excited that my mom was

going to buy the horse.

And, uh, she got a flat
tire I guess on the way.

And so, okay, I got
home from college

that day and I said,
Hey, did we buy Ivy?

You know, like
is she mine.

And she said, oh yeah,
she vetted out well.

But, um, I got a
flat tire on the way.

And I was like, Oh,
that's a bummer.

She goes, yeah.

I took it as a sign
from God that it's time

for you to get a job.

And I was like, what?

A job?

I'd never worked
in my life.

Wow.

I was like, fine.

I'll get a job.

So I went down to the
bar and I got this job

and I'll never forget
the first paycheck I got.

You know, I hadn't even,
I wasn't feeding my horse

even or turning it out.

So I was working
really hard and it's

all proud of myself.

And I got this check and
you know, it was like, so

little, I was like, can't
even buy a shirt for

this, let alone buy Ivy.

Wow.

Um, yeah.

I kind of started a
different progression

of my life, which I'm
super grateful for.

Huh.

So the wise dispensation
of divine providence.

I guess so.

Holy crow.

So you go from a
pretty privileged

life to wanting to be
alone, essentially.

You wanting to
have wanting to be

out in the wild.

What was driving
that for you?

Because it sounds like
you come from a pretty

competitive background
if you're going to be.

Super.

Olympic level.

No, yeah.

Horse jumper, a
sponsored snowboarder.

Oh yeah, you're
number one.

That's all you do is you
just work really hard

and train, and that's
all you focused on.

Was that just something
you're born with or

is that something
bred into you?

My dad, definitely.

Okay.

My dad, everything was
about winning and, you

know, competition, ever
since I can remember.

You know, even playing
checkers with them,

wasn't like a fun
game with your dad.

You're like finger came
off, you lose a turn.

You're like, what?

I'm like four.

Dutch.

Totally the Dutch.

I can say that I'm Dutch.

Totally.

So, um, yeah.

I kind of took that
level of intensity,

uh, into training
to be a naturalist,

survivalist and tracker.

And, um, just decided,
hey, like this is

something, I actually
just felt really

compelled to do it.

I started having these
incredible experiences

in nature that I just
couldn't understand or

even share with people.

They seem so I
don't know, magical

and crazy and.

Right.

Um, I just felt compelled
by something I couldn't

understand, could
make this my life.

It really wasn't a
conscious decision of,

hey, this seems neat,
I'm going to do it.

It was like something
I just, I had to do

it, even though I was
like, this is crazy.

Who cares about starting
fires with sticks?

Like, I, I shouldn't
care about this.

Man, I, you know, as
a kid, there was this

group called Friends
of the Fort and this

was out in Fort Langley
and they'd dress up in

buckskins and moccasin.

Oh yes I've been to it!

You remember that?

Yes!

So there is a fellow
there who was making

flintlock rifles and
I grew up in a, in

a firearms family.

And so my dad was
getting into making his

own kentucky rifle and.

Cool.

Yeah, and I started
getting into that

area as well, made
my own moccasins and.

Nice!

Got wearing my, my
knickers and I'd go

out into Fort Langley.

And when they did
portage's and.

Yeah.

I don't know, it was
kinda, it was kinda

neat, but I, you, you
took that whole thing

to the next level.

I mean, you, you really
pushed that, do you

still feel that burning
desire in yourself to,

to keep foraging down
the primitive path?

Yeah, I do actually,
even more so now.

I did take, it's not
like it took a break

from it, but I, I
did move out into the

wilderness and become
an off-grider, which is

a different lifestyle
than a primitive

survivalist, if you will.

Right.

I mean, it has elements
obviously of both, but

being an off-grider
is just a lot of

hard labor work.

Totally is.

Um, building a cabin
and all of that took

a lot of me, from just
simply hiking around

the forest and trying
to touch animals

and doing what I do.

So there was like several
years where it was just

more grunt laboring and,
you know, taking time

to do those things that
I really wanted to do.

But, um, I'm kind of,
yeah, I'm just kinda

getting back into
the learning more

about the old skills.

I, I've reconnected,
I was adopted.

Okay.

And I've reconnected
with my birth family,

which has been really
exciting and, um,

yeah, really exciting.

I mean, it's been
a lot of emotion.

Don't get me wrong.

Totally.

But, um, so I found my
family and some cousins

and through that, I've
recently found my birth

mother and I'm Ojibwe.

Um, so it's really
excited to go back

to Ontario and do a
survival treck out there.

Learning with, I've met
a man that's going to

teach me how to make
a birch bark canoe.

So cool.

And, I know.

I'm going to go out onto
the land there where my

ancestors are from and
kind of relive that area

and landscape, which I'm
really excited about.

Did you know that
you were adopted or

did you find that?

Oh yeah, I've known,
ever since I was

born, I don't remember
not being adopted.

Um, my parents
have always been

very open about it.

But it's interesting this
whole circle of my life

coming around, you know,
when I was a little kid,

all I wanted to do is,
you know, live off the

land and, you know, every
Halloween I would dress

up as like a native kid.

And, um.

It's just in your blood.

Yeah, so clearly,
there is a reason why

I was learning all
about it, it's just.

Oh that's interesting.

A part of me.

Yeah.

So it's been really
interesting and fun

and to reconnect with
that and just start

learning all about
just the Anishinaabe.

And I'm really
excited about it.

Now, so I wasn't adopted,
but I'm just thinking

about it now, did you
feel, maybe a sense of

social isolation, as in
that, or maybe just a

level of connectedness?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

And I've actually just
in the last couple

months have been really
delving into that.

I mean, there was
definitely a, I

would say, not a
separation perhaps,

but just a belonging,
I think is the word.

You know, it's not
like a don't belong

with my family now.

I love my family.

Sure.

I mean, that's
my mom and my dad

and my brother.

Um, but there is a sense
as an adopted person

that, you know that
you're not related.

Um, and I think that
has permeated my whole

life of this, not
belonging with other,

you know, I didn't know
my heritage, you know,

I'm Scottish and, um.

Cool.

Yeah.

I'm Scottish and Native
and, uh, I didn't

know any of that.

So I've spent most
of my life studying

Native traditions and
Celtic traditions,

which is interesting.

So you have your bannock
with your Haigis?

That's right!

Um, yeah, I think, I
think that's why I've

been always attracted
to nature because I feel

like I belong there.

It's like the one place
that, that is truly

my home and my people
in a way, you know?

Totally.

Um, So, yeah, I think
that's also why I've

been, I love being alone.

I'm totally comfortable
being alone.

I think that's why
it was great for the

show, because I've
always played by

myself as a little kid.

I've no problem, I
can always entertain.

I'm never bored.

Do you find it difficult
to socialize in groups?

Do you find it maybe
particularly, after

you've been alone for a
while, that transition

period, is that a
difficult transition?

I would say I used to
be, uh, I used to, to

be honest, people used
to really irritate me.

Um, I just.

I can hear that.

I just, yeah, I'd
rather do things myself.

Um, wasn't a
great team player.

Um, but once I went
on Alone, I honestly,

it was so strange.

I went on TV show Alone,
so figure out what

it's like to be alone.

And it turned out when
I came back from that,

that I just, I got
this incredible love

of humanity out of it.

Um, which made no
sense to me, but when

I left and while I was
out there, I just, I

don't know, it was just
this incredible night.

And just all of a
sudden was like, wow,

I love people, where
I would never have

said that before.

And if you talk to
anybody that was on

that show prior to now,
they're like, yeah, I

don't know what happened
to Nikki out in the

woods, but something
fundamentally changed

about this woman.

Was it like a
light switch?

Yeah, it was just
like instantaneously

one night I was
crawling into my bed.

That's interesting.

I know.

It's like, I was
struck by some star

and I'm like, wow.

I feel like an entirely
different person.

It took me about a
year getting back off

the show to figure out
who I was and how to

interact because I was
so genuinely concerned

and interested about
other people where before

I honestly, I didn't
really care too much

about what was going
on in other people's

lives, as much as I
should have or wanted to.

Was there an event that
somehow triggered that

rewiring of the brain?

Yeah, i, I wish I could
say what it was and

I've gone back through
time and time again and

my journals and stuff.

I mean, you're not
allowed to write anything

when you're on Alone.

Okay.

So there's no way of
recording down what's

happening to you daily.

Um, and so it becomes
harder after to get

back those memories and
leaving the show in the

way I did, you know, I
was pulled out, it was

pretty traumatic for me.

So I had quite a lot
of trauma after that

initially for the first
couple of weeks back.

And so, not that I've
lost memories of it, but

it's hard to get back all
of the things that happen

to you on a daily basis
on a show like that.

So I don't know what
triggered that moment.

I feel like it's my
life, you know, just

every little thing,
step, had come up to

this moment where I was
alone in the Arctic.

And I was like, yay.

Here's who I truly am.

And I'm not afraid
to be who I truly

am anymore because
I was on that show.

And, um, I think there
was just a lot of

things that happened
to me emotionally and

spiritually on Alone
that I had never dreamed

would have happened.

The universe unfolds
as it should.

Yeah.

It's really cool.

Well you talk about a
spiritual side, and I

want to touch on that
because you talk about

it in your book as well.

And I, and I find a
couple of things that you

wrote really interesting,
but before we go there,

what were some of the
most difficult things

you found about being
alone for 51 days?

Um, I really didn't
find anything difficult

about being alone.

It was amazing as soon
as I stepped off that

helicopter, I just like,
couldn't wait to see

that thing disappear.

You know, I was like,
yes, I'm finally gonna

know what it's like
to truly be alone.

Like we just
don't get that.

I don't know if it's
a luxury, but we

just don't get that
experience in modern

life anymore to be alone.

I mean, it's.

You don't.

It's impossible to find.

Not in the cities
anyways, that's for sure.

No and so I was like
really excited to feel

what that was going
to feel like, and I

had never felt more
connected to my friends

and my family and my
teachers in my whole life

while I was on alone.

Like it was almost to
the point where I just

felt there were so
many people around me.

I get goosebumps
thinking about it.

I'd be like, look
people, back up.

Like I just, I need
some space around

like fire pit.

So I, I never
missed anybody.

I thought I ,actually
thought I felt kind

of bad about it.

I was like, I should
probably feel bad,

I don't miss a
single person, but.

I felt like I could
just reach out to

them and there they
were, you know, I had

certain things in place.

Like when the moon,
full moon was there,

my grandmother would
be thinking about me.

And at night, you
know, I had different

things that, my mom
would light a candle.

And I don't know if that
helped or not, but, um, I

certainly never felt like
there wasn't a moment

I could reach out to,
uh, even a teacher with

an answer I needed and
immediately my mind would

be filled with, hey,
that's a great idea where

it came from, I don't
know, uh, you know, but.

Really?

It was really, really
cool to just have this

incredible sense of
connection, even though I

was so far from anything.

That is pretty neat.

So I never, I never had
any, just loneliness or

I miss my family so much
or anything like that.

I have no, no experience
about that., The things

that are painful for
people on the show.

Right.

I didn't feel those
things that others

went through.

Do you find it
hard to quiet the

voices in your head?

I mean, we have so
many distractions in

our day-to-day life,
living in the city or

living in civilization
and with technology and

text messages and social
media and all the rest.

I personally find it
takes me a few days

anyways, when I'm out in
the bush to decompress.

And in those few days, my
head is just going crazy.

And all of this stuff
that maybe I haven't

thought about in a long
time starts popping

in and, uh, arguments
I've had in the past

start popping up
and you have, all of

this inner dialogue.

If I'm on my own long
enough, eventually

that changes.

But it doesn't go
away, but it changes.

Yeah.

What's your
experience with that?

Because I've never
been 51 days alone.

Yeah.

Um, I, I have learned
how to control

the inner chatter.

Um, it's I think one
of the most important

survival skills we can
have is to learn how

to control our mind
and our emotions far

more than the skills.

Totally.

Um, and so I've done a
lot of work in my life

to, it's not, I think
there's a misconception.

It's not turning it off
because our mind is our

most powerful thing.

So I don't want to turn
my mind off because it

thinks up amazing stuff.

And it's going to save
my life in a lot of

instances and harm me
in different instances.

So.

Right.

I like, I don't
necessarily turn it off.

I just focus it.

And when I don't want
all the chatter, I have

figured out how to quiet
that out mostly by.

Here, I can hear the,
I don't want to say

useless chatter, but
you know what I mean?

I totally know
what you mean.

Just the useless
stuff that you're

like, wow, I just
need a break from you.

And I, as soon as that
comes in, I'm like,

hey, thanks a lot um,
not important to me.

And I just don't continue
on with the stories

that we tell ourselves.

It it's, it's a habit
that I started that I

worked hard on and it's
just become natural

now because it does
interfere with your time

and in the wilderness.

Like you have to be
able to have, uh,

really open and engaged
and focused mind when

you're out in the woods.

Otherwise you're
going to miss, you

know, that one plant
in the Arctic, right?

The four leaves I
managed to find that

were edible, right.

I found six Rose
hips walking around a

landscape and noticing
one old Rose hip.

I mean, you have
to be very aware to

even notice that.

And if your mind's
chattering around, it's

like, oh I wonder what
people are going to

think of me right now, I
wonder how I look holding

this camera up when I
have, you know, snot

running down my face.

And I'm sure I look like
hell, and if you have

those kinds of thoughts,
you're literally not

going to be as successful
as you could be, so.

Oh you're done.

Um, and, and, and that
I think was the one

thing that, um, I loved
about the show was,

I just made it, uh, a
personal mission to say,

okay, I'm going to try
to make the best show

I can for these people.

And I'm going to
film everything the

worst, the best, the
in-between, you know,

I'm going to cry if I
feel like I need to cry.

I'm going to laugh,
I'm going to goof off.

I don't, I'm just
going to do that all.

And it was the most
freeing thing I've

ever done in my life.

Like to be on national
TV and especially my

story, if you've seen,
obviously like it

was just a wreck out
there, total nightmare.

I have no idea why all
that happened, but it

was an incredible story
of one thing after the

other happened to me.

Like I've, I am
definitely gone

down in history as
the most accident

prone participant
ever in the history.

I don't know if
you really want to

claim that, but I
will claim that.

So are you generally
accident prone?

No, this was
so phenomenal

about the story.

Like I'm not, I'm
actually, literally

soon as I stepped off
that helicopter, I

mean the whole time
you say to yourself,

look, if I cut myself,
I could be out of here.

I want that $500,000.

So every time I picked
up my ass, I was

like, be careful if
you get an ax cut.

Every time, every time
I picked up my knife, I

would just remind myself.

And, um, there was
just, gosh, you know,

I cut towards myself
and like I teach

knife safety, right?

Yes.

Oh, you know, the worst
was probably I stabbed

myself with my arr-
I've actually never

used modern arrows,
they're like razorblades,

obviously you know.

Yes, yes.

I was like, whoa,
these are razorblades.

And every time I
carried one, I was

like, okay, be careful,
this is a razorblade

you could literally
damage yourself and.

And you did.

And I did, you know,
I was pulling up my

pants coming home
late from hunting,

looking for moose.

And I just, you know,
did that like jump

up with your pants.

Yes.

And I was holding one
arrow and one area was

always on, and when
I came down, I just

jabbed the back of my
leg with the arrow and I

thought, Oh no, it just
probably nicked me, it

was like walking down.

Nope.

I could feel the
blood drippin'.

I was like, ah, geez.

And you know, it's,
this was like, hey

I'm going to film it.

Like, I'm going
to film it.

I mean, you don't have
to film everything,

which was the unliving
thing for my part of the

story for me personally.

I mean, just to be
able to say, hey, it's

not that I don't care
what people think.

It's just, this is what
happened, this is the

truth of what happened.

I'm willing to own
up to that truth.

And, um, I'm willing
to learn from it

and it's okay that
we make mistakes.

And to be able to be,
to the world, your

worst moments, like
now in my life I'm

like what isn't there
I can say or do that.

Totally.

Like it.

It's liberating.

It was, it was the
most freedom I've

ever felt in my life.

Wow.

Yeah, it's really cool.

As long as you can
carry that with you

in your mind, as you
go forward and carry

that experience, you'll
continue with that

freedom I should imagine.

Yes.

Yeah, it was.

I mean, I've, just from
my experiences, I've

felt what it is like
to be truly free, but

this just added another
dimension on to that.

That was really, uh,
yeah, life-changing

for me, for sure.

Well, you talk about
using sap to heal wounds.

My, uh, you know, I don't
think my family has got

the best record with
booby traps, but I, uh,

I've never met my uncle.

He, uh, he died before,
before I was born, but,

uh, uh, he was in Royal
22nd Regiment and had a

faulty grenade that went
off and, but, um, I guess

as a kid, he wanted to
make a booby trap and

he found an old rusty
lawnmower blade and, and,

uh, put a trip wire up
and put this blade out

and laid down beside it,
measured it out for about

a kid's head height and.

Oh my.

And figured, ahh this
will be perfect, right?

The stupid things
that kids do right?

And, uh, I guess, some
months later, completely

forgetting about it, ran
through and tripped and

cut himself in his head.

And the neighbor came
out and found him and

he says, I know what we
got to do, use some sap.

We gotta use some
sap to heal this up.

Nice.

I guess my grandmother
had other ideas and took

him to the hospital.

But, uh, does that work?

Yes!

Yeah?

It's great.

Like when I was out
in, uh, for the year

and a half, I used
sap exclusively.

That . Particular
treck, I decided

to only use plants.

I mean, I had a first aid
kit that I had brought

out, it was pretty meager
to be honest when I look

back at it, but, um,
I never had to use it.

I only used plants to,
um, heal any of the

injuries and even the
biggest gashes, if you

use really clean sap,
um, and kinda, I warm

it up and then pour
it into the wound.

It, it actually
lets the wound heal

from the inside out.

So it acts like a
band-aid for one.

Stuff sticks to it
at first, but then it

becomes less sticky and
then it just kind of

heals from the inside.

So it doesn't get
infected because sap

has antibacterial
properties in it.

And you don't have to
worry about it again.

You don't have
to keep changing

dressings or whatever.

Um, just sticks on there.

Does it matter what kind
of tree you get it from?

Well, so I had good
success with the

firs, uh, Douglas fir.

When I was in the Arctic,
I really, I don't know

what was going on there.

Honestly, it was so
cold, I would heat up

the pitch and by the time
I would even try to get

it on some of my wounds.

It would, it would
just, harden right away

cause it was so cold
and that's practically

burned my hand, trying to
get the pitch in there.

And it would just
always kind of fall

out as it would freeze.

So I'm not sure if
it's more of a climate

or if it was just
different pitch.

I mean, I tried different
pitches in the Arctic.

I couldn't quite give
you a perfect answer

on that, but the pitch
really didn't help.

I was trying to use
pitch to heal all the

cracks in my fingers
in the Arctic cause

it was really painful.

I could imagine.

And it just never worked.

You know, I've got
another story about

booby traps, but I
think I'll say that for

a different podcast.

Booby traps are the best.

Booby traps.

It's like that, uh,
what was it Goonies?

What was that kid's name
with the slick shoes?

Oh my God, I
can't remember.

Booby traps.

Booby traps.

Totally.

Data!

Yes!

yes.

Data.

That was his name.

So, and I'm not
being cheeky here,

but I gotta ask.

Oh, you can be cheeky.

Is Sasquatch real?

Oh great!

Oh.

And not necessarily
Sasquatch.

And the reason I ask
this is because, and am

I pronouncing this right?

Dzunukwa.

Yeah.

Dzunukwa.

Female Sasquatch.

Yeah, the wild
woman of the woods.

Yes.

So this is an
incredible question.

It's one of those
questions that

you're saying, okay,
like, how am I going

to answer this?

Because just the, I don't
know, the culture around

Sasquatch is, it's nutty.

Um, but I have to say
the native communities,

indigenous people all
over the world, there

is some supernatural
being, if you will, as

a Sasquatch, whether
it's the Yetis and the

Sasquatchs, the Dzunukwa.

I mean, there's so many
cultures around the world

that have this being
in their, uh, history.

Right.

10,000 years of
storytelling of Bakwas

and Dzunukwa for the
Northwest people.

I mean, I'm not,
obviously can't speak

to their traditions
on that being, but

it's alive and well
energy that is talked

about where I live.

Um, amongst the people
that I have had,

I have to say some
pretty incredible,

unexplainable,
experiences with things

in the woods that
I don't know how to

explain with tracks.

Um, and I've definitely
been chased and heard

something coming at me
with a friend of mine.

That was
extraordinarily scary.

Yeah?

That I have no idea
what I was, shaking huge

Alder trees that were
about a foot and a half

probably wide making this
horrid yelling, screaming

kind of noise and.

Really?

Charging through
this thick brush.

I mean, my friend and I
just looked at her like,

I have no idea what that
is like, is that a bear?

Or like, it wasn't,
unlike any sound I've

ever heard a bear make.

I've been around a
bears a long time.

Yeah you have.

And I got to say, I
don't know what it

was, but my friend and
I didn't wait around.

My dog was already
like 500 feet down.

See ya!

The trail, just left me.

My friend and I just
like ran miles back to

our truck and we never
talked about it again.

It was just one of
those things like,

hey, you know, years
later we'd be like,

hey, remember that hike
we took at last lake.

And you're like, Oh yeah.

What do you
think that was?

I have no idea.

Okay, well have
a good life.

I'll talk to
you in a year.

Um,

I like that definition
of an energy or

a spirit or a.

Yeah I mean.

A feeling.

There's something.

I mean, I know personally
a lot of people who have

claimed to see them.

Um, some old timers
that honestly, just

come from a different
generation, then they're

not really storytellers
in the way people

are storytellers now.

I also have a tracking
teacher of mine that

I have asked and said,
hey, you know, you've

been out on, you
know, investigations.

And he's like, oh
yeah, lots of big

foot investigations.

Like, well, what, what
do you got for me?

Right.

And he's like, you know,
I got to say every single

one of them was faked.

Okay.

And I was like,
wow, really?

Like people are putting
big feet on and walking

around in the woods
and putting on suits.

Like, I don't know
why, just to discredit

this potential
being out there.

I, I, I, I mean, I,
I just don't know

enough, but I will say
that indigenous people

around the world have
always believed in them.

And I have seen things
and know some really

dear friends of mine
who have seen things.

I haven't, I can't say
I've seen a Sasquatch,

but, um, I've seen
some crazy tracks.

And so it was a
friend of mine.

Uh, maybe there is some
big old, hairy beast out

there that maybe lives
in between the worlds.

You know, maybe it can
live in between these

two worlds of reality.

And that's what I've
heard as well, trans-

dimensional being.

Yeah and hey, you
know, science is

proving this stuff.

This isn't spiritual
woo-hoo stuff anymore.

I mean, physics and.

A multi-verse.

Yes.

Right.

It's totally proving
it with science.

What mystics and you
know, medicine men

and women have been
saying for eons.

So this is a really
exciting time where,

you know, people who
are talking about these

spiritual things can
be backed up by science

now, and maybe one
day we'll find them.

It, it does seem
weird to me that we

don't have really
definitive proof yet.

Right.

That was so many people
in the woods, you know?

And there's so many
people in the wilderness.

So I don't know.

It's a hard, it's
a hard topic.

Well, apparently
Washington has a law

that it is illegal
to shoot a Sasquatch.

Oh wow.

And I guess people
laughed about it and,

but the reality was is
that they were trying to

protect anybody who might
be out there dressed

up as a Sasquatch.

Totally!

Cause isn't there a
million dollar, uh.

Is there?

There's like a
million dollar prize,

or, I don't know
if it's a prize, but

a million dollar.

Reward.

Reward for bringing
in a Sasquatch body.

Someone will pay
a million dollars.

Wow.

I was asked that on a
hunting trip one time,

if you saw a Sasquatch,
would you shoot it?

No!

I don't know everyone's
different, but for

me the answer is no.

If I saw a Sasquatch,
no, I would not shoot it.

So.

But they were alive
and well, like I'm not

saying alive and, well,
I shouldn't say that,

but when I lived out for
a year and a half, just

out in the wilderness of
BC there, I got to say

all the stories and if
I'd run into, you know,

some clam diggers on the
beach, you know, we'd

gather around a fire
and they'd start telling

stories about Sasquatch.

For sure.

I mean, it was one of
the first questions

someone would roll up and
you hadn't seen anybody

for like three months
and like, hey, have

you seen the big fella?

You're like, no, not yet.

And I'm like, whoa,
because you know, my

cousin was here, you
know, a couple of years

ago and the Sas was
hucking out clams at him.

I've heard that.

Yeah.

And I was like, well,
and just all the

stories, you know, some
nights, just going to

the, your outhouse or
something in the pitch

black and I don't.

Course.

We didn't have
headlamps, they didn't

bring a headlamp.

So you're kind of
like, Ooh, you know,

I'm hearing strange
whistling noises.

You're like, oh, that
was, I dreamed about

Dzunukwa a lot out there
and it was kinda spooked.

I have to say, I'll be
honest, I was spooked.

I didn't want to see a
Sasquatch or definitely

not Dzunukwa, you know,
with the pierce red

lips and whistling and
I mean, she's known

to steal people and.

I've read the stories.

It's not like a,
you know, friendly

forest spirit.

Well the reason I asked
about that is because

I thought it would be a
good segue into, there's

a whole spiritual side
in your book and to you

about being outdoors.

And I thought that was a
really interesting take

that you have on it.

And some of this stuff
that people might look

at it, if they're casual
observers would say,

hey, that's really kooky.

Oh, totally.

But there's also,
there's a, there is an

inner truth essentially
to, to all of this.

And you're talking
about birds, essentially

talking to you.

Yeah.

Not like I would imagine,
not like saying, Hey

Nikki, come over here.

Yeah, I haven't
heard that.

Well, I've heard a tree
actually, which is a

crazy story, but no
animals haven't just

come out and be like,
Nikki what's up as well.

I wish they would,
that'd be awesome.

Cinderella doing all
your chores for you.

I wish!

So you've, I think it
was a Raven, was it?

That you followed and
you just felt a bit

of a connection to the
Raven and listening

to different animals
and the different

noises that they
make out in the wild,

would have different
meanings behind them.

Yeah, definitely.

I mean, you can learn,
anybody can learn the

language of, I don't
just mean nature, I

mean the language of
animals, for sure.

I mean, bird language
is a very, I'm not

gonna say easy thing
to get into, but it's

very well-documented
now from teachers that

I've learned from, um,
they do have a language

and there is, like you
said something deeper.

There's something
deeper there.

And I, I just, I can't
dismiss it anymore.

I've seen it happen and
had these experiences

that there is no
doubt that there is

something deeper and
beyond of what I can

understand going on.

And animals definitely
have shown me that

and opened me up to
this kind of spiritual

world that we live in,
whether it's in this

room or in nature.

And nature just is the
purest place I find to

find it or experience
it because it's just

all truthful out there.

There, there, isn't
all these other things

that come involved
with people and our

society and cultures
and our belief systems.

So you can be stripped
down to something and

have these experiences
out in nature.

Do you have any examples?

Yeah.

Gosh, so many examples.

Um, gosh, um, yeah,
just with every

animal, I can't, really
simply, like when I

was first learning it.

And this is why
I'm sitting here

talking to you today.

I mean, these kinds of
ma I use the word magic.

I feel like just, I love
it because I'm part,

I haven't really grown
up, so magic to me, I'm

just like a little kid.

I love magic.

That was my first job.

I performed magic
at kids' birthday

parties when I was
in elementary school.

Nice!

And so I feel
like magic is just

when you're really
connected to something

.
Yes, yes.

So, um, just little
things, you know,

I'd be sitting in
the woods going, Oh,

I don't know what
that bird is singing.

Wouldn't it be great,
could you just come

and sit on this branch
right in front of me

and then sing so then I
can actually see you and

I can hear your song.

And literally within
seconds, this bird

would fly out of a
tree somewhere land on

that exact stick I was
imagining and scream

out at song to me and
be like, oh my gosh,

did you just hear me?

And it just made me go,
wow, that was, you know,

synchronicity or whatever
you want to call it.

But there was other,
so many more examples.

You know, my book I talk
about with the Cougar

that came by and that's
been a really powerful

story, a teaching
story for me, for sure.

You know, having my
greatest fear of being

the dark and cougars
and then deciding to

go and sleep outside
with a sleeping bag to

try to overcome those
fears and lying there.

And, you know, having
this animal walk up to me

and then plop down beside
me and start purring.

Woah.

You know what I mean?

Just that, I mean,
animals don't just

come and lie with
you in general.

You know, it happens
to some people.

Sure.

Um, but to be actually
trying to face that

fear, you know, and then
the animal comes and

sleeps right next to
me all night, you know,

purring and who was.

It just opened me up to
this world that I was

like, wow, some other
things are going on here

that I don't know about.

And it's happened to me
every time I can go into

the woods, I can have
those experiences, small

land and large, you know,
we want to have these big

experiences, but there
are so many small little

ones that can build
up to you being able

to be open, to receive
these kinds of things.

And I think one of the
things that helped me

was, I have this mentor
in my life and he'd

always say, Nikki, when
you just go anywhere,

you know, you're out,
you're in the forest.

Just say, hi forest,
it's Nikki, I'm just here

and he's just the most
beautiful man I know.

He'd always be like,
hi, this is, you know,

it's Nikki, I'm here.

I'm just letting you
know, I'm happy to

be here, whatever,
just have this little

minute conversation.

And, uh, I've always
done that from him and

you know, whenever I
want a question answered

and I need help, you
know, going on Alone

was the same thing.

I didn't just make this
decision instantaneous.

I was like, hey, I need
to go sit in the woods

and I'll get back to
you in a few hours.

Right.

And, you know, I went out
there and, um, I always

do that and animals
will show up or there'll

be some sort of thing.

I mean, I've even,
been lost in the woods

legitimately, not very
little skills too.

And, um, been like,
hey, you know, nature,

I really need some
help, like if you can

send me a direction
to walk to like, I

gotta get outta here.

And I just sat down
quietly and like you were

talking about, I kind of
just let go of all the

yacking so I can just
really, I see everything

and listen with all my
senses in that moment.

So then it does quiet
out all those yakking,

if you really use and
are looking everywhere

and not moving your
head necessarily,

but wide angle vision
and listening and

feeling in that moment.

And, um, a bird came and
landed right beside me.

This very thrush.

And I was like, oh,
like, I'm not saying

anything to it.

I don't want it to fly
away, but I'm just like,

okay, there's a bird.

And then it looked at me
and then it jumped on the

perch and faced another
direction and just

started singing and then
jumped back, looked at

me and it jumped, it did
this like three times.

And I was like, wow,
like, I don't know what

that means, but I'm
going to like run in

that direction of like a
few minutes before dark.

And I was like, I want
to give it 10 minutes.

I'm just going to run
that way and popped

out and found my car.

Holy crow!

Yeah.

It was amazing.

You know, there's,
there is definitely

a lot of things out
there that science

just can't lock down.

And there's like,
you're saying

quantum physics and.

Yes.

All of the quantum
realities that, uh, being

open to experiencing
these things and being

able to either interpret
prior to, or interpret

afterwards in a, in a
way that I find that

really interesting.

Yeah.

It is about being open.

It's not a
judgemental thing.

You know, when you bring
in all of the things from

city and your life and
your past experiences

into nature, it, they
will expose nature,

will expose all of those
things, everything.

Your, your strengths,
your weaknesses,

everything becomes open.

And so when you can
actually be very open

to experiences out
there without bringing

all of that with you,
then I think you can

have this different
connection with nature

that goes much deeper
than just the name of

a plant, or this is the
behavior of this animal,

but it becomes like a
relationship with them.

Instead of just feeling
slightly connected

or knowing the facts
about something.

There's just this deeper
level of relationship

that I've been able to
build over the years,

just by being me and
being open to even things

I didn't believe in.

You know, just being
like, hey, could just

like Sasquatch, could be.

Could be.

You know, I'm not
willing to say no or

a hundred percent yes.

Like, um, but
hey could be.

So everyone's locked
down with, COVID a social

isolation, not being able
to see their friends,

but they are encouraging
people to be outside.

That's an aspect that
I bet a lot of people

don't think about, is
that relationship with

the outdoors, would
you have any advice for

people to strengthen
their relationship with

the outdoors or even
just start to appreciate

and allow the, the
outdoors to heal them?

Yeah, I do.

And I have been really
working on that a lot

in the past month.

I'm designing this
business based

around this idea
called Luminaria

Wilderness Ventures.

And I do, I want to have
people be able to come

out with myself and my
team and experience what

I experience to be able
to see nature in the

wilderness how I see it.

In a way, not to say
that the way I see it

as right, but just as a
more of a relationship

building experience,
rather than, you know,

we hiked to the top of
the mountains and we

get to the view and we
take some Instagrammable

pictures, and then we
go home and you miss all

the things along the way.

Like I rarely get to
the end of a trail.

I just, I, for me right
now being in the city,

you know, I'm trying
to hike like everybody

and get some exercise
and it's all I can do

you to force myself
to stay on that trail.

And so I think the one
thing that I would say

to people is to slow
down, you know, this

idea of slow travel, you
know, use you're getting

exercise as one exercise.

You know, if you want to
get in shape, that's one

way, but you need to just
sit and find a spot that

you go to all the time.

And this idea of the
secret spot, you know,

Sam Gribley had it like,
um, my teachers have

always taught me about
it and to find a place

in nature, even if it's
your backyard or your

window or your balcony,
and you just sit there,

just sit there for 20
minutes is about what

it'll take people, it's
a lot easier or quicker

the more you learn
your area and animals

respond to differently.

As you know, like the
first three days when

you're on a hunting trip
all over the place and.

Yep.

Animals are like running.

Every bird is like, hey,
they're coming through.

And then eventually, no,
one's caring, not caring

about it, but they're
like, Oh, hey, yeah,

they're there, it's not
a big deal they're, you

know, you've, you've let
go of all of that chatter

in your mind, which is
what scares animals away.

So I just slow
down, you know.

Slow down.

Just sit in the forest,
just go to the park

and sit there and
see what you can see.

And eventually all
those animals are

going to use, not just
used to you there, but

they'll accept you.

You know, pretty soon
the squirrel is not going

to be like alarming you
for 15 minutes, right?

Yes.

All the little Brown
birds will be quiet when

you're walking through
the trail, eventually

they're not going to be
like human coming, human

coming, and the next bird
picks it up and you'll

eventually get that
energy about yourself.

That's with nature
rather than I'm just

visiting, you know?

And that's what I
want to teach people

is how to become,
not just a visitor to

the wild spaces, but.

I'm really looking
forward to seeing

that business develop.

Mhmm.

You know, I had a,
there's an Indigenous

woman who wants told
me, she said if the

squirrels started setting
their alarm off, quit

hunting that area.

Oh yeah, got to.

They're, they're talking.

The squirrels are talking
to the elk, they're

talking to the deer,
they're telling them

to stay away and yeah.

I'm like, you know,
there's probably some

wisdom to that one.

Oh yeah, they will the
birds especially too.

Get to know all
the Brown birds.

Yeah?

The birds that live
in the tree top,

they don't to care.

They don't care
that much about you

because they more
live in the tree tops.

So they're more concerned
about hey Hawks coming

in, I found the owl,
whatever, but the little

Brown birds that live
on the ground, the wrens

and the sparrows, man,
get to know those guys.

Even the Robbins, because
they feed on the ground

because those are the
ones that are going to

send all of the alarming.

They can go for miles.

Every bird in the next
territory will pick up

a call if it's intense
enough and then they'll

spread it that way.

And every deer, every
game animal, if you

will, is keyed into
bird language, every

single one of them.

And if you're, you
know, I mean, you've,

I'm sure seen this.

When I'm trying to get
up close to a deer, you

know, when they stop, I
stop moving, they look

at you like, hey, if
you're still moving, when

this guy's telling us
this, you clearly have

no idea what's going on
in the woods, you know?

And you can't just
freeze all of a sudden

when an animal sees
you, then it's like,

why are you frozen
still, like, I see you.

You're like, no, I'm
just a tree and you're

like, no, I saw you
move and now you're not.

So you better pick up
and start grazing or

start nibbling on leaves.

And then the deer
will be like, okay,

you're a grazer.

Okay, I get that,
cause I'm a grazer.

Okay, awesome.

Now, now you're picking
up that berry and eating

it, like, okay, like I
feel a lot less sketched

of you now because
you're showing signs

of doing what I do.

That's interesting.

See, when I was
younger, I was taught

a 45 degree trick
for getting rabbits.

Never go right
towards a rabbit.

Pretend you're not
interested at all.

Go at about 45 degrees
and play around on the,

but for some reason I
never actually put a

correlation between that
and any other animals.

Absolutely.

Dear, I mean, I can
get just like touchin'

dear, because you
can, if you stop when

they stop and they're
looking, you're like,

oh, I'm looking over
in that direction too.

I don't often know
what, you know, what

they saw or hear.

I mean, they have huge
ears, I can't possibly

hear what they're
hearing on a level, but

I can look in the same
direction and stop and

they're like, Oh, sweet.

Nikki stopped too.

That's great,
um, perfect.

Because if you don't
and you're still

oblivious, then they get
all nervous, you know?

And if you're like, hey,
don't worry about me.

I mean, when I'm stocking
up and I don't want

them to see me, it's
different, but once

they have seen you
or you screwed up and

they're like, oh, hey,
I see you over there.

You're like, oh right,
well, I'm just, you

know, eating too.

Um, and then they're
like, oh, okay.

Um, yeah, and it's,
it's a really fun way

of learning different
types of animal

behavior, for sure.

Do you have any
tips for stalking an

animal if you don't
want them to see you?

Yeah.

If you don't want them
to see you, for sure.

Like, so, uh,
yeah, I mean kind

of still hunting.

Yeah.

It's my, obviously the
only way I know how,

um, I mean, I can sit
in a blind as anybody,

but I, I get too
fidgety after a while.

I'm like you.

I just am like,
oh, okay, this is

getting a little, um.

So yeah, like I, um, I
definitely, I learned

this from my cat,
actually that I took

in the bush with me.

Okay.

Um.

Scout.

Yes.

Uh, she's all
time stalker.

So she would always,
um, she always stops in

the shadows, obviously.

She would never go across
an open space ever.

I mean, if she did,
she was just skirting

or on her belly.

I mean, it was amazing
to watch her and open

spots and she would wait
until there was some

sound or movement in
nature and then move.

Like she would never
move when there wasn't

either a leaf falling
or a bit of a rustle

and then she would move.

And she would, and I
learned this too, from

a class of mine and
camouflage, cause it's

my favorite thing to do.

And um, it's like
imagining you are that,

that you're hiding
behind or it goes on

to what we've just been
talking kind of this

spiritual invisibility.

There's something
different about

camouflaging your mind
than just your body.

Right.

You know, I, I can be
in full pink whatever,

bright red clothing
and can have the same

results as if, when I'm
fully camouflage, when

I'm really good at just
camouflaging my mind.

All the thoughts that
pop in there, fear,

especially, or like
aggressive feelings.

Um, I've seen this with
a lot with cougars,

um, when you're in a
situation being really

close to them, if you
just take this really you

know, gentle breath and
let it out immediately,

they will let it out
that coming together.

So close to animals
for so many times in my

life, I've seen my body
reaction in them and

it's been able to make
me instantaneously, be

able to let go of any
fear, any emotion, any

kind of, besides just
peace, you know, and

just this calmness, um,
otherwise you're dead.

So you gotta kind of
learn it pretty quickly,

but, um, there's
ways of practicing

it with animals that
aren't dangerous.

You know, like you
can practice it with

Robbins, are great.

I mean, Robbins are hard.

Okay.

Herons are amazing
animals stalk.

If you can stalk up to
a Heron, I mean, you can

get any animal because
they are the ultimate in

silence and slow movement
and that, and so practice

on these other animals
that aren't dangerous.

And then you can learn
and see how you can

control your emotions
better in those moments.

Because as soon as you
go, oh my gosh, I don't

have my knife on me and
there's a Cougar four

feet from you, that
rise immediately, I've

seen cougars, just turn
their head and look

at me with the most
intense eyes that you're

like, I'm about to die.

And then you're like,
oh no, I love you,

like, everything's
good, everything's calm.

And then immediately
they go back to

what they're doing.

And then as soon as you
get that feeling of like

that moment where you're
about to take a shot and

you're getting, you know,
you gotta just they'll

feel sense that they,
they, they sense more

than I think people, um,
really give them credit

for on this, I don't
know, energetic level.

I believe it, you know,
when I was younger

being taught cam and
concealment and one of

the trixie instructor
said was if your

camouflage and somebody
is walking by, don't

make eye contact, don't
look at them, right?

Look to the side, use the
periphery of your vision.

Yes.

He says, don't ask
me why it's hoodoo

voodoo kinda thing.

Totally it is!

But you look at them
and more often than

not, they'll just turn
and stare right at you.

Right at you!

Exactly.

I mean one time I
was practicing this.

I'll never
forget, so cool.

You've reminded
me of the story.

I haven't thought about
it for years, but I was

practicing invisibility
and I was sitting on a

park bench and it wasn't
a lot of people around,

but I was sitting on this
park bench and, you know,

watching these ducks in
front of me or whatever.

And I noticed some people
coming down the trail.

And I was like, okay,
like, um, I'd been

there, sitting there
quite a while and the

person came up and I
thought they were just

going to walk by me,
but they didn't, they

started slowing down.

I was like, Oh,
maybe they're

coming to sit here.

So I just stayed
in this space.

And one lady almost
sat on me, until

I was like, hey.

And she tried to like,
Oh my God, you just

appeared, you literally
were not there and I

was like, no, I've been
here the whole time.

Just like, no
you weren't.

I was like, yes!

This lady almost
sat on me.

Like it was so good.

Mission accomplished!

Mission accomplished.

Um, yeah, that was fun.

So yeah, I mean,
camouflage is,

is so much fun.

I just, I love it.

There's such a depth
to it, rather than

just smearing stuff on
your face that people

think it is, you know?

Totally.

Yeah.

So in 2011, you mentioned
a traumatic experience

where you nearly died
and it mimicked in many

ways, your dream of
Dzunukwa, but a barred

owl saved your life.

Afterwards, after the
event from what you

described, looks like
you were suffering from a

form of PTSD essentially.

Oh, definitely.

Definitely.

I have no problem saying,
Hey, I've lived through

some traumas and have
suffered through PTSD.

If you think that's
valid for your listeners.

Well it just, it was an
interesting thing that

came up and I don't want
to be taking the podcast

in a certain direction if
it's not a place you're

comfortable with, but
with people who have

been through trauma.

Yeah.

I did a podcast with
a, a fellow who runs

a, an outfit in Alberta
and it's called Veteran

Hunters and they do.

They take veterans out
hunting and they use,

it's sort of like the
Japanese have nature

bathing, but he takes
an activity which some

people would, uh, ascribe
violence and, uh, sort

of a negative energy too.

He says, no,
no, no, no, no.

You're, you're
out there, you're

stalking the animal.

You're with like-minded
people who've been

through like experiences
and using nature in,

in a hunting situation.

Yeah but I mean, you
need to learn all

kinds of things to
be a great hunter.

So, I mean, it is
much more than just

killing animals.

Absolutely.

It's a great program.

And he uses that to
assist people to work

through their PTSD.

And I guess with
mental health being

on the forefront with
everybody in lockdown

and with COVID, and
I guess the question

that I was asking you
there, was essentially

from an interest side
in the story, but why

don't we keep that as a
personal story for you?

And.

Yeah, no, I have no
problem, I love talking

about this stuff.

You know, my, my new, my
new company is, is part

of its foundation is
based on our emotional

state that we're in.

Um, I personally have
lived through quite

a lot of traumas
and PTSD events.

So I really want to
bring that as part of

my business as well.

I'm going to hire,
um, different

alternative therapists
and things as well.

Um, I'm not gonna
go into great detail

with my company in it.

Right.

But I do believe that
nature is an amazing

place for healing and
to work through just

common issues that we're
all going through during

COVID, especially.

I mean, it doesn't
need to be PTSD levels,

but you know, our
depression is, you know,

a growing concern, um,
in youth and in adults.

And so, yeah, I do
believe that wilderness

places are a way for us
to be able to be free

enough and be who we
truly are to deal with

these kinds of, um,
mental problems that

we're having in our
lives, in our, in our,

in our culture for sure.

Um, I know for a fact,
especially with Alone,

uh, I'll be very honest.

It was very traumatizing
for me to be pulled

out, um, how I
was on the show.

Tell me about that.

Um, yeah, I mean, it
did traumatize me.

There was no doubt.

I mean, I was feeling the
happiest and most joyous

I can ever remember being
on, on a survival treck.

I never felt pain and
suffering and I was never

tired and exhausted.

And just all those
things that come with

survival that you
have to work through.

Somehow I have no idea
how this happened, but

somehow I just, I never
felt those things.

I was never hungry,
even though it

was barely eating.

Um, I had, I could hike
for miles on my trapline

and not feel tired.

I mean, it just
felt amazing.

Even though I was losing
a lot of weight and I

had lost an extraordinary
amount of weight.

How much weight
did you lose?

Um, I, it was
over 30 pounds.

I came in, I think at
about 126 pounds, which

wasn't a lot, I really
should try to fatten up.

My body's like,
I don't do this.

And you're like, no,
please, I'm going on a

show about being fat,
I need extra weight.

Um, and I think I got
down to 97 . Pounds.

Wow.

I mean, it was a lot.

And so really there
was concern of my

weight loss, there
was no doubt about it.

And, um, I was concerned
to a certain point.

Um, I certainly had
never seen my body.

I knew that there
was concern in the

producers, I could tell.

I mean, they're very,
you know, straight face.

I mean, they're not
yakking into your

ear and it's just
very like, Hey, I'm

doing my job here.

I'm taking your
vitals and blah,

blah, blah, blah.

I could tell sometimes
when I would lift up

my shirt as much as
they were, I was like,

ooh, they looked a
little concern there.

Um, and so yeah, when
I got taken off the

show, um, it was, was
like, as if I was being

kidnapped is how I felt.

My mind made it seem like
I was being kidnapped

against my will.

And I spent about two
weeks, um, trying to

heal from that, uh,
out in the field.

And the production
was incredible.

They gave me every
resource and people

to talk to and
psychiatrists and.

Wow.

Amazing food and a
recovery program.

And they did everything
they could to help me.

But going from this
experience where I'm

like living as happy as I
could ever be in my life,

to quickly, getting on
an airplane and flying

into a hospital to be
tested for something

that I was like,
there's nothing with me.

Um, and then it's like,
ah, we're just going

to have to monitor
you in town and then

being in town and just
my mind just snapped.

And I was like, I
need to get out to

the woods again.

And, um, so I got back
out to the woods and

took about two weeks
in this little cabin

and they were really
great and letting me

kind of go out of my
cabin when I wanted to.

And I started talking
and doing just

like what I said.

I'm like, wow, I really
feel terrible about the

last, you know, hare
that I trapped, um,

on the day that I was
taken out a hare that I

found on the trap line,
as I was taking my trap

line before I left.

I was like, I'm not
leaving here until

I take all my traps
down like, so they

hiked around with me.

Good for you.

Yeah.

And, um, yeah, just, it
was a slow process and

I realized how important
nature was for me.

And I think for other
people too, can be

a place to really be
able to you know, see

the patterns in your
life from your past

experiences that are
still with us and

into our future that
we still live from.

And there are mostly
these false beliefs

systems that we have
about ourselves.

These stories that we
tell ourselves that

is a complete lie.

Um, you know, especially
from traumatic

situations, we, we make
up all kinds of coping

mechanisms and, um, these
things can really come to

light in the wilderness
because it's just such

a pure place to be.

And safe, you know, as
much as we're, can be

afraid of big game and
wildlife and spiders and

the dark and all these
other things like in a

safe environment with
safe people that know how

to take care of you and
teaching you to take care

of yourself in nature,
I think is a great space

for, um, helping to heal
ourselves and the planet.

I really feel like
now that the way to

save our planet is
by healing ourselves.

I mean, and that's kind
of the mission of my

new company is just.

Woah.

Trying to help people
have this relationship

with nature in
a different way.

Um, through look, I'm
a big adventure fan.

So I'm all about pushing
the edge, whether it's

pushing the edge of
adventure or pushing the

edge of self-discovery.

And that's kind of
what my new company

is going to be about.

That's a very
ambitious goal.

It is.

It's all going to be,
uh, really customized

to each individual group
or person, um, so that

it can be fine tuned
to what your fears are

potentially or what
your, what animals you

want to, you know, make
better relationships

with or see, or so it'll
be really customized

to like your interests
and nature, so it's.

Very cool.

Um, it's not just
going to be like a

one-stop shop for sure.

Well, I'm going to
put some links up in

the, in the bio and
on the YouTube page.

I know it's a, uh,
a fledging business.

Yes.

Do you have a
website for it?

I don't have the website.

I just was a-okayed
by the name, which

I can't believe the
process that I went

through through that.

I finally decided
to make a phone call

and say, look, it's
impossible to name a

company in 2021, that
isn't already out there.

I'm sorry.

Right.

Like I'm looking up
Sanskrit dictionary

just to come up
with some words.

Come on!

They finally a-okayed it
and I've incorporated it.

And so I'm just moving
into the next steps of

getting the website out.

And I have a great
team of people

already ready and.

Well, that's.

I'm excited about it.

Hugely helpful.

Yeah, trying to get
a business started in

this day and age in
some ways, like if you

want an internet based
business or something

online, incredibly easy.

Yes.

Low barrier to entry.

If you want to have a
physical boots on the

ground, bricks and mortar
type of a business,

holy crow, the number
of barriers that you

have to work through.

Oh, I had no idea and
I, I'm way over my head

in this, you know, my
skills are actually in

the forest, not sitting
like trying to design

those corporation.

But I'm hiring great
people that are

experts in their own
worlds and to help me.

And, um, yeah, I it's,
it's, uh, it's one of

those things, you know,
I've always said, um,

I'm always doing what
scares me the most and

I got to say, starting
this business is pretty

scary, so I know I must
be on the right track.

Good for you, Nikki.

Well, is there
anything else that

we should chat about?

What other, what
are things for your

listeners, would they
be interested in?

This whole thing is a
figment of my ADHD mind

because The Silvercore
Podcast, is on paper

about hunting, firearms,
foraging, fishing,

outdoor pursuits, and the
people in businesses that

comprise the community.

Yeah.

But in reality, I've
had the inventor of the

invisible cloak on here.

Nice!

Really cool guy.

And I would have called
BS, unless I had,

I've got a picture in
here holding it up.

Sick.

And the, the guy, Guy
Cramer, brilliant fellow.

And I thought, well,
you know, camouflage,

that's that that's
a hunting thing.

We'll fit that in, right.

Yeah.

We've had a fellow came
top of his class on

FBI, Virginia Quantico,
firearms instructor, and

a suffered a horrific
motorcycle accident

and another fellow who
was mauled by a grizzly

bear and fought it off
of this pocket knife.

I mean.

Yeah.

The idea behind this
podcast is I want to

talk with people who I
find interesting and.

Yeah.

I want to have fun.

So if the listeners don't
like what I'm talking

about, they could tune
into something else.

I'm not, I'm not doing
it for likes and listens

or anything like that.

This is just
me having fun.

Yeah.

I'm trying to think of,
um, everybody wants to

hear some of the stories.

That never get
published, you know,

you know what I mean?

Um, I love talking
about things that

obviously all the big
events that happen you

have to share, because
those are so cool.

Sure.

But there's always
these other underlining

stories that happen to
any of us in the woods

that don't get shared.

And especially on a
television show, um, you

know, someone else is
telling your story and.

Yeah.

It's hard to, like,
there's not much time to,

they'll tell your story.

So it has to be the
big events or whatever.

Um, and yeah, I, I, I'd
never thought that going

on a reality TV show for
one and a game show, be

anything that I would,
you know, want to do.

But you're competitive.

But I'm super
competitive.

And I finally realized
that there was

$500,000 on the line.

I did not know
in the previous

years I was asked.

So.

Really?

Yeah I was asked for
like five years, every

year since it started.

And I was like, oh yeah,
I'm not really into that.

I'm kind of doing
stuff or whatever.

And then on season
six, they're like,

yeah, you don't want
to win the $500,000.

I was like, what?

Half a million.

Sign me up.

Yes!

Where are we going?

And I remember she
said, uh, yeah, we're

going to the Arctic.

And I was like, ooh,
yeah, I don't really

know anything about
snowy locations or

been in the snow.

Um, is there trees and
cause all I thought was

polar bears and you know.

Icebergs, penguins.

Icebergs, ice and polar
bears that eat you.

And she's like, oh
yeah, I think so.

I was like, how about I
need a hundred percent

definition, there's
some trees and then

they'll get back to you.

So anyways, she was like,
yeah, there'll be trees.

And so I was like, okay.

Um, but yeah, I think one
of the things I learned

about, um, hunting when
I was on Alone was,

you know, I'm not, I'm
not a big game hunter.

I've only shot animals,
bows and arrows,

I don't think of
myself as a hunter.

Um, I'm a trapper,
I have a trap line.

I really don't
think of myself as a

trapper much either.

Sure.

But it was so amazing
to learn how to

be a hare trapper.

It was, I think
the best part of

my time out there.

And I would never have
believed that that would

have been something
I would have been

that excited about.

And it was so incredible
to learn about an

animal really didn't
know anything about,

I've never lived with
hares or rabbits,

um, and to, you know,
have to ditch fishing

because it's just, I
didn't have a spot I

needed to wait till it
froze over and I was

wasting too much time.

So I was like, okay, I'm
switching, I'm gonna just

get me a hare trapper.

And so walk the landscape
and try to find sign

that I would, you
know, I'd read about,

but it wasn't really
have that experience

in the woods with and
setting up the traps.

Like really learning
from every rabbit that

I trapped, like to be
able to learn on the go

like that, for your very
existence and the money,

you know, I was there.

Sure.

Not for the experience.

The only thing I was
there for was that money.

Right.

I gotta say, I didn't
have these other things

that most people do going
on the show, like, yeah,

I want to test myself.

I was like, no, kind
of already done that.

Been there, done that.

I was like, I just
want the money.

Like, that's it.

And, um, to have
something like

that, fueling you
is really odd too.

Um, And so that I think
the learning how to

trap that the hares was
this really incredible

way to, has what we've
been talking about

the whole afternoon of
getting a relationship

with that land, was
through the rabbits

and through trapping.

It wasn't me wandering
around and, you

know, sitting there
and getting berries.

It was actually
hunting animals that,

um, connected me
with that land in a

much more deeper way.

And I think that's
something that people

don't often think
about as far as the

hunting world, you know.

But I learned so much
about that land and

the history and the
other animals that were

living there through
those rabbits and the

rabbits that I was
successful in getting.

And, um, it was a
really profound kind

of realization for me
that, wow, this is one

path to developing this
relationship that I'm

talking about, which
you wouldn't imagine

necessarily to be.

But it brings a whole
wholeness to the story

by utilizing that
animal for my own life.

It does.

Um.

You know, non-hunters
will have a difficult

time understanding that.

Yeah.

Because they look at
the act of hunting,

quite, the initial
imagery is typically

male dominated, firearm
and shooting an animal.

And that's hunting
in the non hunter and

most non hunters mind.

When the diversity
in hunters is growing

on a daily basis.

Yeah.

The act of actually, if
you're using a firearm

to hunt, of shooting
is only just a minuscule

portion of everything
that's involved.

And hunters share and
understanding of the land

and an understanding of
the animals, in a way

that non-hunters would
have a very difficult

time to, to appreciate.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

And I will say there
was, there's so many

moments where, you know
what I mean, having a

hare in your trap was
like, this is another

day I get to live out
in this amazing space.

I mean, when I would
find an animal or shoot

a squirrel, it was like,
yes, like couple more

days out here I got.

Like, just everyday I
woke up thinking that

like, yes, like I'm
so excited for life,

this intensity and joy
for life every day out

there was so incredible.

And to be able to
bring that back into

my life now has changed
my life completely.

And, um, I have to
say sometimes I'd be

walking my trap line
and you know, you'd

see the rabbit off in
the distance and I'm

like, okay, come on.

At least just this
one time don't cry.

Okay, just come
on, you can do it.

You know?

And I walk up there
like, yes, like, you

know, I don't have to
just, and then all of

a sudden I'd see it.

I'd just be like so
grateful and you know,

the sense of gratitude
that happens to you out

there in a real survival
situation like that.

Gosh, this, this
gratitude is

overwhelms me.

And I just said
like, Oh gosh, okay.

Well I definitely, after
crying, it's so fun.

And then eating
rabbit, that was

your primary source
of protein, was it?

Yeah.

Rabbits and squirrels.

Uh, and wow.

I'd never I've tasted
hare before, but

wow, it was so good.

I can't believe it.

Uh, people always
are laughing.

Cause my favorite part,
like my dessert was

always the eyeballs.

I can't believe how
good those rabbits, the

bunny eyeballs were.

It was so good.

I just saved them to
the end and the tongue.

You and Bear Grylls, eh?

So ridiculous.

I was like, Oh wow.

You know, it's
the classic drama

of television.

I was like, no, wait,
this is gourmet,

I have to say.

Eyeballs.

I'm elevating these
guys to gourmet.

I've had fish eyeballs.

Oh yeah.

They're pretty good.

Yeah.

These are better.

Better?

I don't know
why, but yeah.

I'm all about making, you
know, gourmet wild meals.

Forget those like
disgusting gray

soups with ash and
charcoal bits in there.

Yes.

It's like Bear Grylls
episode where he had

Will Ferrell out in the
whole celebrity take.

Yeah, yeah.

And, uh, they just
ate the eyeball off.

I forget what creature,
but then later on

there's a, I think it
was an eagle flying

above and Will Ferrells,
hmm I wonder what it's

eyeballs taste like.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

He's classic for eating
just gross stuff.

Oh totally.

That's his claim to fame.

Totally.

But I guess if you're
just eating squirrels and

rabbits, isn't there, so,
the lack of fat that's

required in order for
you to keep the pounds

on, but isn't there a
craziness, what's the

word I'm looking for?

Isn't there supposed to
be like rabbit fever?

Yeah.

It's like a rabbit
starvation or

rabbit poisoning.

There's an actual
term for it.

I should know it.

Um, but you do and you
can't live off rabbit.

Right.

We proved that
on Alone um.

Sure.

You literally can't,
there's no fat, so

that's why fish is
pretty important.

Right.

Because they do have a
lot of fat on them and

you know, there's fat
around the kidneys or

whatever, but it's so
minuscule that, um, yeah,

you will die from eating
rabbit after awhile.

It's just too
high in protein.

I've heard that you
have some sort of a,

uh, you can go a little
nutty before dying.

Or am I off base
on this one?

Pretty sure you go
nutty, once you start

starving to death.

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah definitely.

Your functions of your
brain start going down.

Knew a fellow.

His name was Mike
Gallon and he owned a

place years ago called
Mike's Musket Shop.

Uh, he was a
multimillionaire who

decided to leave his
mansion and all of

his property to his
wife and his son.

And he went up to
Lillooet and they called

them the grape rancher.

He built himself a
little cinderblock

house, and I think he
could speak those five

different languages, a
very eccentric fellow.

And he was talking about,
uh, when he was in the

concentration camps and
the amount of weight

that he lost and some
of the atrocities of

the rest, but his first
meal that he had when

he was out was a very
high, fat content meal.

And he would always
tell me that meal

almost killed them.

Yes.

Well, um, the production
team of Alone, they have

a very strict re-feeding
program for the, for

that exact reason.

Um, because we
are starving to

death out there,
literally, literally.

I mean, there's been
some serious cases of

people being pretty
sick, um, and pushing

yourself to that point
of like, wow, like I can

barely walk, you know.

I know on my first treck
I got to the point

I could barely walk.

Uh, I know what
that feels like.

You can barely
move around, like

picking up any pot.

You're like, can't
even, you're just

skin and bones.

Right.

Um, but yeah, so
Alone does do that.

They have an incredible
re-feeding program

so that you don't
just shock your body.

And it sucks, you know,
for most participants

because they're
like, dude, I just.

Fill me up!

Really haven't eaten
anything for two weeks.

Um, I just want to eat,
you know, chocolate

and candy and whatever.

And so there's just
this very long procedure

that goes on when you
get out of the field,

which is fantastic.

Otherwise, yeah, there's
a lot of problems

that can happen.

So do you have a, you
have a nutritionalist

there, um, that you
talk to and she makes

up all the meals based
on your story out there.

So if you hadn't last,
you know, if you weren't

out there as long,
then it's different

for people who have
gone to a certain stage

and certain of their,
you know, bodies.

Yeah.

Their weight to
their cardio.

I mean, you're all,
you have all kinds of

tests done on you to
determine where you're

at in your re-feeding.

What was your
re-feeding process?

What did that look like?

You know, gosh, I was
so caught up in my mind.

I literally don't
really remember much.

I remember them, you
know, they see, yeah.

It's broth
mostly a broth.

Um, there's no solid
foods right away.

So it's just mostly
soup with just a broth.

Bone broth is um, and
then once you get through

the bone broth, um,
you start getting, I

don't know, there would
be, maybe a Cracker.

I think crackers came
pretty late actually.

I think the breads
and stuff were

very late in it.

Um, I, I honestly
hardly remember.

I remember just eating,
um, and just journaling.

Like I journaled for four
days straight without

leaving, doing anything.

I never slept, I probably
didn't sleep for nine

days or something.

Seven or nine days
when I came out.

Really?

Oh yeah.

It was just like.

Just wired.

Yeah.

Journaling and just
like, so, oh my gosh,

there was so much going
on and being, I don't

just out of that wild
setting into, you know,

modern, I guess, world,
if you will, was just so

overwhelming with your
senses being so expanded.

Yes.

And it just
drove me crazy.

You can hear every
single thing.

So, um, I just journaled
and was just like, I'm

just gonna write like
how I felt out there and

why don't I feel like
that now, like I need

to get back and then I
would just tell them,

like, I just want to
get back to how I was

feeling in the woods and
then I'll be ready to go

home and call my family.

I mean, I didn't call
my family for a couple

of weeks probably until
I was like, hey, I

figured everything out.

I'm ready to go.

Did, did you actually
have to figure it out?

Yeah, I did.

Did you?

I, um, they were great.

I said, uh, you know,
I need some crayons

and some big paper
and I just turned

my cabin into this.

It kind of looked like
that reminds me of that

movie um, beautiful mind.

Yes.

You know, where he's
got all that, like

that's what this
cabin looks like.

And it was so amazing
when they would come

in to, you know,
the doctors would be

there or whatever.

And they're like, okay.

It looks like
you're doing a lot

of work in here.

As they're looking
around like, crazy town.

I'm really got my
stuff together.

Like I'm just figuring
everything out.

And, um, so he.

You can just bring
me a typewriter and a

whole bunch of stamps.

They got me a journal

book and I just started
writing and, um, it

was really amazing.

I started venturing out
nature obviously and had

some incredible, magical
experiences on my healing

and the Arctic to that,
the animals just were

like, hey, we're here.

Like, um, it
was really neat.

Wow.

Really, really neat.

Well, Nikki, thank you
very much for being on

this Silvercore Podcast.

I really appreciate you
coming out here talking.

It's been really fun.

I've been looking forward
to this for a long time.

Thank you so much
for having me.