Faith and masculinity meet kingdom living to help Christian husbands rebuild their confidence and masculine strength, so they can enjoy attraction-filled and passionate marriages.
You want to live a life on fire and on mission.
You want to be filled with such conviction and drive that you stop caring about what ANYone thinks.
You want to face each day alive, authentic, and fully present in every moment: with your wife, kids, on the street, at the gym, at work.
You want to bring yourSELF to the table, and to stop bringing the watered-down, nice, what everyone wants version of you.
You want that self to be a man who is burning in passion for Jesus, unafraid to bring his kingdom to anyone in your path, no matter the cost.
You want to love the one in front of you without fear, without needing love back, and without reserve.
You want to experience God for real, to not just believe, but to KNOW that he’s got you and that he’ll show up on your behalf. That he’ll show up THROUGH you.
You want to get to the end of your race and say, “Yep…I gave it everything. Jesus, you know I’m all in.”
...And you want to know just how to get there.
Welcome to Man Warrior King. Congratulations. You are among the violent taking the kingdom by force. You are among the chosen, answering the call to rise above your self. You are in the forge being stripped down and strengthened—and you WILL rise stronger, solid, unshakeable.
You are a man. You are a warrior. You are a king.
You have quietly decided that this is
about as good as your marriage
is ever gonna get.
You might not say it you might not admit
it freely when pressed.
But if you're honest with yourself
You have a hard time seeing that things
could ever get to promised land status.
This is the function of Satan's attacks on
you.
It's not to actually
reach in with his own hands and physically
tear you and your wife apart.
It's too
Wear you down with the constant drip
of lies telling you there's no hope for
your marriage
to reach that level of sensuality,
that level of passion.
And so you should probably just settle.
You should probably set down your
backpack,
you should unpack your tent,
and you should just stay here in this
wilderness and learn how to survive.
with a marriage in this current less than
fulfilling state.
And here's the thing.
That should really bother you.
You might believe all of this that
Your marriage isn't gonna get any better.
But you've never tested that hypothesis.
And you're like, Matt, I have.
I've tried the things. I've tried
everything I can think of.
I've given my all to making my marriage
better.
Don't you tell me I haven't tested that
hypothesis?
But here's the thing.
You've been trying everything you can
think of,
said
But you've been doing it from the wrong
inner stance.
You've been doing it from the wrong
energy.
You've been doing it from the wrong
perspective.
I learned this.
I too felt like I was doing everything I
knew how to do.
And then I had changed perspective.
And what I found and what I'm still
finding today
on the other side of that wilderness I
genuinely never knew
was possible in our marriage.
Around ten years ago, twelve years ago,
I don't know what it was, my wife and I
were in the hardest time of our life
in many different ways. We were at rock
bottom as about
as rock bottom as you can get.
And I didn't
I could not see a way out.
And there was rock bottom in my health,
rock bottom in our finances, rock bottom
in our living situation,
rock bottom in our marital connection.
~ it wasn't it was not pretty.
Life was was very, very, very,
very, very hard. And I
gave in to a lot of depression and
discouragement.
And during this time I wondered if Mr.
I would ever have the kind of marriage
where my wife wanted me,
where my wife would pursue me,
where my wife would ~ just like deeply
desire
Not just time with me, fun with sex with
me.
I I I wondered if any of that would ever
happen.
And my wife wondered if she would ever
like me again.
She's she said that.
Back in this time we could hardly
see like just barely getting getting
positive in our marriage.
Because so much was around us that was
stealing the life out of us.
It was it was negative, it was pulling us
down.
And when you're getting pulled down,
you can't see very high up.
I may not have known what was possible,
but I definitely knew the things that I
deeply desired,
and so did my wife.
And as we did our work, you know,
we hit different stages of breakthrough.
One of ~ came when we started seeing a
counselor together.
And by the way, he is not your average
counselor.
It was not sit around and and everybody,
you know, just share your feelings and why
you're feeling the way you're feeling
and then, you know, get affirmed in those
feelings and
By the way, here are some little games to
play to learn how to communicate better.
No, we were challenged by him.
Each of us were told about the crap that
we brought to our marriage by him.
He did not put up with unhealthy thinking
from us.
And as we pushed into that work with him.
We were able to push into each other as
well.
I hit breakthrough when I started learning
my identity in Christ,
when I started learning that I was a son
and a and a and a king
in the kingdom.
We found breakthrough.
When
At each new stage of me learning how to
not be such a whiny little
boy and always butthurt around our sex
life.
Every step of the way we would get a
little bit better,
or a lot better, or a little bit better
again.
But
If I'm honest.
I think there's always been even when I've
believed for more,
there's always the battle to fight for
that belief,
to pull you into unbelief.
And as we sit here today, the kind of
breakthrough that my wife
and I are living in, I mean,
there's there's levels of s of of
connection,
of passion, of desire, of
Deep physical just fulfillment.
That we experienced that that
We didn't we didn't know was possible.
We'd always wanted there to be more,
but we didn't know.
Like every stage of the breakthrough we've
gone through,
I've been like, wow, this is cool.
We I'm I'm happy here.
I didn't know there was more.
And what I'm trying to get at
Is that the
You, my friend, need to stop shooting
yourself in
the foot by assuming you've hit your
limit.
By the way, my name is Matt Hallock.
I'm the author of The DNA of a man.
I had a copy around,
but it's not here anymore. There's a link
for it in the show notes.
I am also the founder of this Man Warrior
King podcast,
and I am the creator of the masculine
husband.
Mayorage Transformation Program.
What I want you to know is
Is that every time you settle in this
place
of it's just not gonna happen,
you are agreeing with hell. You are
agreeing with what Satan wants
to be true for your life, and you are not
agreeing with what your father wants
to be true for your
And if you want to see your marriage
improve,
then contrary to what you might think,
it starts with how you think rather than
doing some
new action. It always starts with how you
think.
It always does. Now you might have been
able to
Produce some kind of good results in your
life with grit and grind
and and show up and do the work.
In fact, you probably could produce those
results.
Because you've seen it happen,
right? You've you've conquered things.
You've built a business. You've built a
ministry.
You've you've seen results come when you
put in the work.
But
The reason you're even watching this is
because you've tried putting
in work and you're not seeing the needle
move with your wife.
But because you have been used to putting
in actions and seeing the results
and this time now you're not, that's when
Satan comes in to try to speak
to you and tell you, hey, this one just
ain't gonna budge for you.
And you know what? He probably doesn't
even sound like Satan.
You want to know what he sounds like?
He won't he probably sounds like your
pastor in a church on Sunday telling
you that this trial you are going through
is part of God's will for your life.
That he actually wants your marriage to be
in this place that it's
in for reasons of his own.
And the one that you get to know about,
the reason you get to know about,
is that he wants this to grow your
character.
And he wants to get glory for himself from
your suffering.
That's what the lies of Satan probably
sound like.
And then you have these other ones.
This is just how she is. She'll never
change.
This is just how I am. I'll never be able
to get into that place of strength that
I know I need to be in.
And I'll always just kind of be struggling
with this.
And you you resign yourself to defeat and
then you put a label of humility
on top of it saying, This is just me
trusting God's plan when his plan
was never for you to get stuck.
And you are using this faulty concept of
sovereignty,
God's sovereignty as a means of justifying
your doubt,
your lack of faith, your discouragement,
your your depression even, your
bitterness,
your resentment, all of it.
But I want to tell you.
More is possible.
And you cannot possibly know the extent of
the of the growth and the transformation
that is available to you from your current
vantage point. I don't have any clue what
kind of next levels
of growth and heaven on earth there are
for me in my marriage.
Why? Because I'm only right here.
And when it comes to knowing, like trying
to figure out.
What blessings are there available for me?
It's like walking on a hiking trail.
You can only see so far ahead on the trail
before you lose sight of
it because it turns around a bend or goes
over a hill or whatever.
Or trees get in the way. You can't you
can't ever see the entire trail from
one vantage point.
So if you're standing right here and you
say,
Well, that must be the limit.
That's as far as I can see. You wouldn't
do that on the trail.
That must be the end. That's the only
thing I can see.
No, you know that if you keep walking
you'll see more.
So why don't you believe it here?
If I keep going, I will see more.
Well, Matt, I could tell you the answer to
that.
It's because I've tried. I have kept going
and I haven't seen the more.
Understand.
I know that feeling.
I'm still waiting on the more.
Particularly in health. Literal physical
health,
if you don't know. I've dealt with a
chronic health condition
for twenty something twenty years.
Debilitating my wife thought I was gonna
die.
It used to take me, you know,
~ I'd say ten minutes to walk.
let's call it I'm I'm imagining our local
grocery store.
~ let's ten minutes to walk from the
produce section
to the to the exit.
And like ~ like the produce section is on
the end of the store with an exit.
I am not where I was. And and back then in
those days when I used to use
a cane and I used to take a bucket with me
to bed so I could go to
the bathroom in the middle of the night
without having to walk to the bathroom.
I would not have been able to see where I
am today.
I didn't know that today was possible.
Because what I what is true of me today is
that I I built a hundred and twenty foot,
ten foot long, whatever, hundred and ten
foot long fence in the middle
of the Tennessee summer.
That never would have been possible
fifteen years ago.
Fifteen years ago I could barely walk.
And so I take this to heart because I
still deal with trying
to believe for healing for myself.
And there are times when I assume this is
as far as it'll go,
'cause it won't hasn't budged for a while.
I myself get into this same place.
It just so happens that I've learned some
things about how to get a marriage
to go from hardly being able to like enjoy
each other
to my wife intensely enjoying me.
And I heard.
So I know something.
So when you are believing man,
I don't know. I just don't see it.
You're you are partnering with hell's
desire for your life.
And as soon as you stop believing that it
can change
You you start you start hurting the
marriage.
Your right actions on top of lack of faith
will
not produce what you want.
If
If you are not proud of the way you're
showing up as a husband,
if there's brokenness that you can't seem
to figure out,
you've got to learn what to believe
different.
By the way, while you're watching,
if you would like and subscribe to the
channel,
I would fantastically appreciate it.
Help the message get out farther.
So, how do I know that there's more for
you?
Well, there's so much in scripture for
that.
But I want you to think about the life of
Peter.
So, when we first meet Peter,
he is stuck. He has been fishing all
night.
He hasn't caught anything, and he's
probably worried about how he's gonna take
care
of his family, his wife. We know he had a
wife because he had a mother-in-law.
He's stuck.
And he's j he can't see beyond the next
paycheck.
He's worked it all night, caught not a
single thing.
He had no idea what was possible for him.
He had no idea that he was about to become
wealthy in a moment with
the miraculous catch that Jesus enabled
once Peter gave him his boat.
And then from there.
Wow, okay, that was incredible.
He had no grid though for what was coming
in the next several hours or a couple days
when Jesus comes and heals
his mother in law.
He didn't know that that was gonna be
possible.
He didn't know once his mother in law got
healed,
he was he had no clue that w his next step
was gonna
be to be instrumental in feeding five
thousand people with just a few loaves
and a couple of fish.
And he had no idea as he was feeding those
people that the next thing would
be that he'd walk on top of water.
When Jesus gave him at the very beginning
this miraculous catch,
I guarantee you, Peter didn't think,
man, it'll be cool someday when I get to
the point where I walk on water.
He had no clue that that was coming.
And I and at that point.
He had no idea that someday he'd preach a
sermon and save three thousand people
in one shot. He had no idea that he would
be passing by people on the street
and his very shadow would bring healing to
their diseases.
He had no idea that he would raise the
dead like
he does in the book of Acts.
Every stage of Peter's life would have
sounded ridiculous
and made up to the previous version of
himself.
It would have sounded too outlandish,
too good to be true. I can't possibly
imagine that.
But this Peter's not just the guy in the
Bible.
He's an example for you and I.
That walking with God means that every
step forward you take,
your ceiling rises. Scripture tells us
that
He takes you from one level of glory to
another.
It it is only human thinking that says
well life is a series of ups and downs,
mountains and valleys. And if you're on
the mountain,
well you better get ready because you know
the next thing is a valley.
Pastors talk that way and it drives me
insane.
Because you wanna know why? It is
prophesying.
Downness. It's prophesying descent.
It's prophesying that there has to be
valley.
But Deuteronomy twenty eight says that you
will be the head and not the tail.
You will only go up and not down.
That's the blessing for obedience.
And I'm sorry it's not even dependent on
your obedience anymore because Jesus
obeyed
for you. So that promise is guaranteed
yours if what?
If you would believe it. What if you
believed that God had for your marriage
to only go up and not down?
And what if you believed it starting today
when your wife can hardly look at?
I mean you've had to have believed this in
some capacity.
Otherwise you wouldn't have seen the level
of success you have in your life
in these other areas. You've had to
believe this somehow,
that up is in my destiny. It's in my
future.
I'm asking you to resurrect it for your
marriage.
I'm asking you to see Peter and every
stage of his life that he went through,
each new victory being yours.
But you won't get to the next victory
while you're sitting and wallowing
in your self pity, while you're sitting
and wallowing in discouragement and
defeat.
And it's like, but but man, it's so hard
for me to even believe that
God wants this at this point. And if if
that is the case,
I'm sorry. I apologize on behalf of
churchianity that has told
you that God doesn't
If you've been feeling frustrated about
your progress as a man and like there's
a disconnect between your inside world and
the outside world.
And it feels like, yeah, you might be
doing all this stuff out there,
but the, the real thriving that goes on on
the inside,
real true, happiness, joy, just flowing in
confidence.
It feels like that stuff is hard to come
by.
I want to encourage you to pick up my
book,
the DNA of a man.
it's going to take you through three
parts,
becoming a man of identity, a man of
principle,
and a man on mission. And this book is not
your average Christian men's book that
gives you all these different qualities
that a good Christian man
is supposed to have. And you do these
things and those things and all that.
This book is actually designed to help you
resurrect on the inside.
And especially if you've been feeling the
disconnect and the pain in your marriage,
because you feel like you're losing your
wife's attraction and respect.
This book is going to have the answers for
you.
because quite often your marriage problem
is actually rooted in your identity.
And so I've had hundreds of men contact me
and tell me,
Matt, this book changed my life.
Matt, this book is saving my marriage.
Matt, this book actually prevented me from
taking my own life.
I've had people tell me that.
It's not your average churchy book.
does not take you through a steps of dos
and don'ts.
It takes you through a process of coming
alive because you see yourself
the way God sees you and it's better than
you've ever thought.
So click the link, tap the link in the
description,
head over and pick up your copy.
And by the way, if it speaks to you,
would you leave a review for me on Amazon?
I would love it. I'd appreciate it.
Bless you. Go pick it up. Join the 12,
13, 14,000 other men who've read it as
well.
And let your life never be the same.
really want to bless you, that has told
you that God doesn't want you
to pray for the things that you want
selfishly.
He wants you to pray for other people and
focus on them only and not you.
Does he want you to pray for other people?
Yes. Does he want you to focus on other
people and serve them?
Yes. Does he want you to reject those
things that you yourself want?
No. Scripture doesn't say that.
In fact, Corinthians says
Where'd I put it? two nine says,
as it is written, what no eye has seen,
nor ear heard, nor the heart of man
imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love
him.
You have no clue what the fullness of the
blessing that
God is preparing for you or has already
prepared for you.
You have not even imagined it.
You haven't been able to see it.
And yet it's there waiting for you.
It's there. It's yours. Do you understand
this?
I'm not just making this up. This is what
scripture says.
And Paul, he was quoting Isaiah in that
verse.
And you know what? It's so funny.
It's not even the most accurate quotation
of Isaiah.
And yet it became scripture.
Because it's a it's an illustration of how
God always wants
to to turn where you are into more.
The original Isaiah says from of old no
one has heard or perceived by the ear,
no eye has seen a God besides you who acts
for those who wait for him.
And Paul he like led by the Holy Spirit,
he almost ramps this up a notch and makes
it more exciting for you.
God acts for those who wait for him,
yeah, but nobody can has seen,
heard, or imagined what God has in store
when he acts for you.
And you've got Ephesians chapter three,
verse twenty. Now to him who is able to do
far more abundantly than all that
we ask or think, according to the power at
work within us,
God is able to do far more abundantly than
all that you ask or think.
And I know that there's a little bit of
wiggle room in there for your mind
to go yeah, he's able, but is he willing?
To that I just point you to the leper who
came to Jesus and said,
Lord, I know that if you that if you will,
you're able to heal me. And Jesus said,
If I'm willing.
If I'm willing to
Be healed. In other words,
that's not even a question. Am I willing
to heal your marriage?
Absolutely. Well then God, why aren't you?
Because the healing has got to flow
through you.
You are in a wrong paradigm if you are
expecting to just be able to
lay on your floor in your office and pray
hard and then see God
do a miracle without any of your
participation.
His miracles in scripture took human
participation.
His miracle in your marriage is going to
take your participation.
So it's not a question of whether God
wants to heal your marriage or not.
He does.
It's a question of are you able to get
into alignment to do your part
so that you can open up for the miracle?
Because
I know you've been trying, but you've been
trying according to
the wrong operating system and it's not
actually God's path
for healing your marriage.
So you need you need a different operating
system where you start actually opening
yourself up to the power of God in your
marriage,
in your husbanding is a man.
And then you show up in an entirely
different energy.
You show up in full masculinity,
you show up in joy and confidence,
and those things are probably even hard to
imagine in your home anyway,
because it's such f so full of strife.
You show up in those ways. And then you
start doing that and it's like,
Man, but my wife isn't changing.
And then I tell you, you have no idea what
kind of change she's about to
do if you keep on growing, you keep on
showing up,
you keep on positioning for the miracle
and being the miracle
and watching the transformation of God
happen in you.
You can't tell me she ain't gonna change
because you have no idea.
You don't know what's around the next bend
of the trail.
You would never ex accept this is just how
it is from your business.
You'd never accept this is just how it is.
Your kids.
You'd never accept ~ we're losing our
house.
This is just how it is.
I don't think anyway I would think you'd
fight.
I would think you'd find a way.
Why would you accept this is just how it
is in in my marriage?
This is just how I am as a man.
I'm just screw up.
Why would you?
So if you wanna make this shift,
I wanna give you
I've got a great opportunity for you if
you really need just accelerated,
intensive work on yourself as a man so
that you can actually uplevel your
marriage,
maybe save your marriage, turn a sexless
marriage into a thriving,
passionate one, whatever it is.
I want to invite you to consider working
with me for
my Unshakeable Man one-on-one coaching.
And in the program, I take men from
place where you are right now,
where your wife is distant, you are
feeling insecure when you're at home,
lacking confidence around her,
even though you might have confidence out
there at work on the job,
whatever. And we go through a process that
helps you learn how to break
out of the hovering puppy dog energy,
step into warrior husbanding energy,
and ~ break out of all the old patterns of
Christian husbanding that have actually
gotten you into a place.
where you're at now where the desire and
the respect are low.
And you find yourself spinning your wheels
trying to be more and more like Jesus
with her all the time. And it just doesn't
get you anywhere.
We break you out of that. And I show you
what what the true actual biblical mindset
is that that husbands should carry so that
you are desired
and ~ attractive and respected by your
wife.
And it's a powerful process.
So
So much success. So I want to invite you
to click the link in
the description for that. ~ It's a free
initial call.
You'll talk with actually me and we'll
discuss if this works for you.
It's a, it's an investment that is really
worth it.
All right. So take me up on it.
I'll see you on our call.
three things.
And they're gonna come out of Peter
walking on that water.
In that story, Jesus is walking on the
water,
and the disciples thought he was a ghost,
and they were afraid because they thought
he was something evil.
And Jesus says, Take courage, it's I don't
be afraid.
But the disciples they had this false
image
of who Jesus was approaching them in the
middle of the storm.
And that is our first point.
You have got to say yes to the invitation
that God is extending to you,
but it has to be knowing who the real God
is,
not the false scary one who you think
probably doesn't really want your marriage
to do all that well, who you think is so
upset with you and disappointed
by you or whatever that he's not blessing
you because of this,
that or the other thing.
No, you've got to say yes to the real one.
At the very beginning of Peter's story,
Jesus came along and said, Hey,
can I use your boat? And Peter said,
Sure. Here you go. He said yes.
And here in the storm where Peter's about
to walk on the water,
you've got to get rid of your counterfeit
idea of what God does or doesn't want
in you.
You've gotta get on board with the fact
that he wants Proverbs five to
be true of you of you in your marriage.
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times,
may you be forever intoxicated by her.
That's what he wants.
So say yes. Instead of assuming that he's
this is just you know,
this is just the way it's gonna be.
And in that moment of walking on the water
before he did,
Peter responded with a yes to the Lord.
He said, If it's you, tell me to come.
He was like, All right, I'm here and let's
do this.
Point number two after you say yes to the
real God.
is to reawaken your fire for more.
Be driven for more. Let yourself hunger
for more.
Let yourself be consumed by your mission
for more.
And Peter on the water.
He says, Lord, if it's you command me to
come to you.
Because why? He wasn't content just
watching Jesus do it.
He's like, I want more. Now all of a
sudden he saw a glimpse of the next level
that
was possible for him. And he's like,
Lord,
Enable me to do this, I wanna go after it.
I'm hungry for the next level.
Get hungry for the next level.
I'm not saying desperate. I'm not saying
needy.
I'm not saying whiny, I'm saying driven
with a fire burning inside of
you like a man.
And then you have to be willing number
three.
So number one, say yes to the real God.
Number two, reawaken your fire for more.
And number three, be willing to leave the
pack behind.
Because not a lot of people think this
way,
not a lot of people have hope for a
marriage that's too incredible to even
describe.
I do because I'm in one.
In fact, you have many, many Christian
brothers telling you,
you know what, attraction just fades over
time.
That's just how it is, man. You gotta
learn how to grow up and be okay with
that.
It's it gets replaced by companionship and
friendship,
which isn't really all that good of a
friendship because there's a lot of,
you know, resentment there.
People think, well, you know, sex is just
for men and women don't really want it.
That's never gonna help your marriage.
People think
God I does it like it's not he's more
concerned with me,
you know, growing in my character than
having me be happy.
That's not gonna help your marriage
either.
Thinking that you're just supposed to
suffer your way into good character
and marriage like you're never supposed to
be happy in your marriage,
it's not biblical. That's not being
intoxicated by her love.
So if you want to do this, you're going to
have to be willing to leave
the pack behind. And that's what Peter
did.
He stepped out of the boat, left the rest
of the disciples in the boat.
They would have thought he was crazy.
They would have said, Peter, you can't do
this.
What are you doing? This is bad.
This is wrong. You're going to die.
What this is irresponsible. And he did it.
And you're gonna have to face the same
stuff and do it too.
This is what everything I've building is
is is like built on.
Saying yes to the real God. This is this
is you as the man finding your identity
rooted in God's word over your life.
You cannot build anything on a wrong
picture of who God is.
Reawakening your desire for more.
This is the warrior.
Who guides his life by the principles of
God's promises,
and those principles are not shaken by
experience,
by disappointment, by time taking too
long,
by what other people say. No, I've
reawakened this warrior fire for more
in my marriage, and I will not compromise
on it because this is what God's word
says.
And then when you leave the pack behind,
you're stepping into your kingly identity,
rising above the crowd.
Engaging in your mission to say this is
how it will be.
Just so you know, when Peter got out of
the boat,
did he do it perfectly? No. He's failed,
he's sank, he got afraid. You don't have
to do this perfectly.
There is grace waiting for you when you
falter.
I falter.
But you've got to start believing for
more.
And if you need help, I want to encourage
you grab my book,
The DNA of a man, grab my training,
the frustrated too desired,
five kingdom keys to masculinity that gets
your wife to actually attract
you be attracted to you.
And I want you to consider working with
me.
I have a program
That takes men from frustrated feeling
unwanted,
all of that into marriage that is so much
better than they could imagine.
A better than your dreams marriage.
It's the masculine husband. We learn how
to tap into the power of God
so that this so that we stop being so
desperately dependent
on our wife's mood and how she feels
towards us.
And we get strong, confident, and joyful,
and we begin to attract her magnetically.
And we learn how to get comfortable in our
own skin,
in our home, not just outside of the home.
We learn how to re-engage sexuality.
We learn how to bring back physical
attraction and affection.
We learn how to
Get our marriage to the place where we've
always wanted it to be.
All that's available.
See the links in the show notes.
Comment on the episode, tell me what you
got from it.
Remember to like and subscribe.
I love ya. See you next time.