Join Nora and Alyssa, counselors in training, as they dissect the love interests of your favorite romance novels. Asking the hard hitting question: Is he hot, or is it trauma?
Kind: captions
Language: en
One<00:00:02.720> glass<00:00:02.879> of<00:00:03.040> wine.<00:00:03.360> I'm<00:00:03.520> already<00:00:03.840> a<00:00:04.000> [Â __Â ]
One glass of wine. I'm already a [Â __Â ]
One glass of wine. I'm already a [Â __Â ]
I<00:00:06.000> think<00:00:06.160> you're<00:00:06.319> that<00:00:06.640> without<00:00:06.960> the<00:00:07.120> wine.<00:00:07.600> I
I think you're that without the wine. I
I think you're that without the wine. I
hate<00:00:08.240> you.
He's<00:00:19.680> just<00:00:19.840> a<00:00:20.080> boy.<00:00:20.960> She's<00:00:21.279> just<00:00:21.520> a<00:00:21.760> girl.<00:00:22.640> Can
He's just a boy. She's just a girl. Can
He's just a boy. She's just a girl. Can
I<00:00:23.119> make<00:00:23.279> it<00:00:23.760> any<00:00:24.160> more<00:00:24.640> obvious?
I make it any more obvious?
I make it any more obvious?
That's<00:00:26.560> right.<00:00:27.039> The<00:00:27.279> amount<00:00:27.439> of<00:00:27.599> angst<00:00:28.000> and
That's right. The amount of angst and
That's right. The amount of angst and
insecurity,<00:00:29.199> drama,<00:00:29.679> and<00:00:30.000> clear<00:00:30.240> lack<00:00:30.480> of
insecurity, drama, and clear lack of
insecurity, drama, and clear lack of
communications<00:00:31.439> in<00:00:31.760> this<00:00:31.920> book<00:00:32.160> that<00:00:32.399> we're
communications in this book that we're
communications in this book that we're
talking<00:00:32.880> about<00:00:33.120> this<00:00:33.360> week,<00:00:34.640> the<00:00:34.880> only
talking about this week, the only
talking about this week, the only
soundtrack<00:00:35.680> it<00:00:35.920> could<00:00:36.079> have<00:00:36.559> would<00:00:36.800> be<00:00:37.040> by
soundtrack it could have would be by
soundtrack it could have would be by
Averil<00:00:37.680> Lavine.<00:00:39.040> And<00:00:39.200> I<00:00:39.360> hope<00:00:39.520> when<00:00:39.760> the<00:00:39.920> movie
Averil Lavine. And I hope when the movie
Averil Lavine. And I hope when the movie
comes<00:00:40.320> out,<00:00:40.640> because<00:00:40.879> I<00:00:41.200> 100%<00:00:41.840> think<00:00:42.160> there's
comes out, because I 100% think there's
comes out, because I 100% think there's
going<00:00:42.559> to<00:00:42.640> be<00:00:42.719> a<00:00:42.960> movie<00:00:43.120> for<00:00:43.360> this.<00:00:44.000> Avoil<00:00:44.480> is
going to be a movie for this. Avoil is
going to be a movie for this. Avoil is
all<00:00:44.960> over<00:00:45.200> that<00:00:45.440> soundtrack.<00:00:46.320> This<00:00:47.600> book
all over that soundtrack. This book
all over that soundtrack. This book
gives<00:00:48.160> me<00:00:48.399> such<00:00:49.039> young
gives me such young
gives me such young
aught,<00:00:52.160> angsty<00:00:52.800> vibes.
aught, angsty vibes.
aught, angsty vibes.
I
I
I
I<00:00:56.640> can't.<00:00:57.120> It's<00:00:57.440> just<00:00:57.680> hot<00:00:58.000> people<00:00:58.320> betraying
I can't. It's just hot people betraying
I can't. It's just hot people betraying
each<00:00:59.039> other.
each other.
each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And<00:01:01.120> I<00:01:01.359> just<00:01:01.520> need<00:01:01.600> to<00:01:01.760> see<00:01:01.840> that<00:01:02.079> in<00:01:02.239> real
And I just need to see that in real
And I just need to see that in real
life.<00:01:02.640> Like<00:01:02.879> I<00:01:03.120> want<00:01:03.440> I<00:01:03.760> want<00:01:04.479> this.
life. Like I want I want this.
life. Like I want I want this.
This<00:01:07.280> is<00:01:07.439> a<00:01:07.600> hot<00:01:07.760> take.<00:01:08.320> I<00:01:08.560> actually<00:01:08.880> think<00:01:09.119> the
This is a hot take. I actually think the
This is a hot take. I actually think the
movie<00:01:09.680> might<00:01:09.920> be<00:01:10.080> better<00:01:10.240> than<00:01:10.400> the<00:01:10.640> book<00:01:10.960> if
movie might be better than the book if
movie might be better than the book if
they<00:01:11.360> make<00:01:11.520> a<00:01:11.760> movie.
they make a movie.
they make a movie.
I<00:01:13.119> think<00:01:13.280> depending<00:01:13.600> on<00:01:13.760> who<00:01:14.000> they<00:01:14.159> pick<00:01:14.880> to
I think depending on who they pick to
I think depending on who they pick to
play<00:01:15.360> the<00:01:15.600> characters,<00:01:16.320> I<00:01:16.560> could<00:01:16.799> for<00:01:17.040> sure
play the characters, I could for sure
play the characters, I could for sure
seeing<00:01:17.600> it<00:01:18.400> being<00:01:18.720> better.<00:01:19.200> Hot<00:01:19.520> people<00:01:19.920> only.
seeing it being better. Hot people only.
seeing it being better. Hot people only.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So,<00:01:22.400> welcome<00:01:22.640> to<00:01:22.880> another<00:01:23.200> episode<00:01:23.600> of<00:01:23.840> He's
So, welcome to another episode of He's
So, welcome to another episode of He's
Just<00:01:24.400> the<00:01:24.640> Plot,<00:01:25.040> a<00:01:25.280> podcast<00:01:25.759> about<00:01:26.080> book<00:01:26.320> boys
Just the Plot, a podcast about book boys
Just the Plot, a podcast about book boys
and<00:01:26.960> wondering,<00:01:28.000> are<00:01:28.240> they<00:01:28.560> okay?<00:01:29.200> Are<00:01:29.439> they?
and wondering, are they okay? Are they?
and wondering, are they okay? Are they?
Probably<00:01:30.400> not.<00:01:30.960> Okay.<00:01:32.000> Here<00:01:32.159> we<00:01:32.400> analyze<00:01:32.799> our
Probably not. Okay. Here we analyze our
Probably not. Okay. Here we analyze our
book<00:01:33.200> boyfriends<00:01:33.680> and<00:01:33.840> apply<00:01:34.159> counseling
book boyfriends and apply counseling
book boyfriends and apply counseling
theories<00:01:34.880> and<00:01:35.119> techniques<00:01:35.439> we<00:01:35.680> would<00:01:35.920> use<00:01:36.400> if
theories and techniques we would use if
theories and techniques we would use if
they<00:01:36.799> were<00:01:36.960> our<00:01:37.200> clients<00:01:37.680> because<00:01:38.079> guys
they were our clients because guys
they were our clients because guys
aren't<00:01:38.799> the<00:01:38.960> only<00:01:39.200> people<00:01:39.439> who<00:01:39.680> ask,<00:01:40.000> "Does
aren't the only people who ask, "Does
aren't the only people who ask, "Does
that<00:01:40.560> feel<00:01:40.799> good?"
that feel good?"
that feel good?"
No,<00:01:43.200> I<00:01:43.439> I<00:01:43.759> ask<00:01:44.079> that,<00:01:44.400> too.
No, I I ask that, too.
No, I I ask that, too.
When<00:01:46.799> you<00:01:47.040> make<00:01:47.200> a<00:01:47.439> choice,<00:01:48.079> does<00:01:48.320> that<00:01:48.560> feel
When you make a choice, does that feel
When you make a choice, does that feel
good?<00:01:49.439> I<00:01:49.759> think<00:01:49.920> that's<00:01:50.159> a<00:01:50.399> fair<00:01:51.360> question.
good? I think that's a fair question.
good? I think that's a fair question.
I'm<00:01:53.040> Nora,<00:01:53.600> current<00:01:53.840> counseling<00:01:54.399> student,
I'm Nora, current counseling student,
I'm Nora, current counseling student,
and<00:01:55.200> if<00:01:55.360> I<00:01:55.520> were<00:01:55.759> awakened<00:01:56.240> and<00:01:56.399> had<00:01:56.560> a<00:01:56.720> magical
and if I were awakened and had a magical
and if I were awakened and had a magical
gift<00:01:57.520> bestowed<00:01:58.079> on<00:01:58.240> me,<00:01:58.799> I<00:01:59.040> would<00:01:59.200> want<00:01:59.360> it<00:01:59.520> to
gift bestowed on me, I would want it to
gift bestowed on me, I would want it to
be<00:01:59.840> the<00:02:00.000> ability<00:02:00.320> to<00:02:00.560> understand<00:02:01.040> and
be the ability to understand and
be the ability to understand and
communicate<00:02:01.840> in<00:02:02.079> any<00:02:02.320> language.<00:02:03.200> And<00:02:03.439> yes,<00:02:03.759> I
communicate in any language. And yes, I
communicate in any language. And yes, I
stole<00:02:04.320> that<00:02:04.479> from<00:02:04.640> my<00:02:04.799> boyfriend<00:02:05.280> who<00:02:05.520> is<00:02:05.680> also
stole that from my boyfriend who is also
stole that from my boyfriend who is also
the<00:02:06.079> producer<00:02:06.399> of<00:02:06.640> this<00:02:06.799> podcast.<00:02:07.920> Honestly,
the producer of this podcast. Honestly,
the producer of this podcast. Honestly,
that's<00:02:08.560> a<00:02:08.720> good<00:02:08.800> one.
that's a good one.
that's a good one.
That's<00:02:09.280> so<00:02:09.599> like<00:02:09.840> Yeah,<00:02:10.239> that's<00:02:11.120> I<00:02:11.360> would<00:02:11.520> have
That's so like Yeah, that's I would have
That's so like Yeah, that's I would have
never<00:02:11.840> thought<00:02:12.000> about<00:02:12.160> that.
never thought about that.
never thought about that.
Same.<00:02:12.800> I<00:02:13.040> felt<00:02:13.200> so<00:02:13.440> when<00:02:13.599> he<00:02:13.840> said<00:02:13.920> that<00:02:14.080> in<00:02:14.239> the
Same. I felt so when he said that in the
Same. I felt so when he said that in the
car<00:02:14.480> to<00:02:14.640> me<00:02:14.800> one<00:02:15.040> day,<00:02:15.360> I<00:02:15.599> was<00:02:15.760> like,<00:02:16.720> "Oh,<00:02:18.080> I'm
car to me one day, I was like, "Oh, I'm
car to me one day, I was like, "Oh, I'm
stupid.<00:02:19.200> Why<00:02:19.440> couldn't<00:02:19.680> I<00:02:19.920> think<00:02:20.080> of<00:02:20.239> that?"<00:02:20.800> I
stupid. Why couldn't I think of that?" I
stupid. Why couldn't I think of that?" I
don't<00:02:21.200> know.<00:02:21.360> Mine<00:02:21.680> feels<00:02:22.080> stupid.<00:02:22.800> No,<00:02:23.040> I
don't know. Mine feels stupid. No, I
don't know. Mine feels stupid. No, I
want<00:02:23.280> to<00:02:23.440> hear<00:02:23.599> yours<00:02:23.920> now.<00:02:25.280> Um,<00:02:25.680> so<00:02:25.920> I'm
want to hear yours now. Um, so I'm
want to hear yours now. Um, so I'm
Alyssa.<00:02:26.879> I'm<00:02:27.120> also<00:02:27.280> a<00:02:27.520> current<00:02:27.680> counseling
Alyssa. I'm also a current counseling
Alyssa. I'm also a current counseling
student<00:02:28.560> as<00:02:28.800> well.<00:02:29.440> And<00:02:29.760> I<00:02:30.000> think<00:02:30.319> a<00:02:30.640> magical
student as well. And I think a magical
student as well. And I think a magical
gift<00:02:31.200> that<00:02:31.440> I<00:02:31.760> would<00:02:32.000> want<00:02:32.319> if<00:02:32.560> I<00:02:32.720> were<00:02:32.879> to<00:02:32.959> ever
gift that I would want if I were to ever
gift that I would want if I were to ever
get<00:02:33.360> them<00:02:33.760> is<00:02:34.239> being<00:02:34.480> able<00:02:34.720> to<00:02:34.800> read<00:02:35.040> people's
get them is being able to read people's
get them is being able to read people's
minds<00:02:35.920> and<00:02:36.239> intentions.
minds and intentions.
minds and intentions.
Yeah.<00:02:39.760> I<00:02:40.000> just<00:02:40.080> like<00:02:40.239> to<00:02:40.400> know.<00:02:40.720> I'm<00:02:40.959> such<00:02:41.120> a
Yeah. I just like to know. I'm such a
Yeah. I just like to know. I'm such a
people<00:02:41.519> watcher<00:02:42.000> where<00:02:42.239> I'm<00:02:42.400> like<00:02:42.640> I<00:02:42.879> just
people watcher where I'm like I just
people watcher where I'm like I just
want<00:02:43.120> to<00:02:43.200> know<00:02:43.360> what<00:02:43.519> you're<00:02:43.680> thinking<00:02:44.160> as
want to know what you're thinking as
want to know what you're thinking as
you're<00:02:44.640> walking<00:02:44.879> through<00:02:45.120> HB<00:02:45.680> right<00:02:45.760> now.
you're walking through HB right now.
you're walking through HB right now.
That's<00:02:46.720> absolutely<00:02:47.280> why<00:02:47.599> you're<00:02:47.760> a
That's absolutely why you're a
That's absolutely why you're a
counselor.
counselor.
counselor.
100%.
100%.
100%.
Yeah,<00:02:50.959> for<00:02:51.200> sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh,<00:02:51.760> but<00:02:52.000> that's<00:02:52.239> actually<00:02:52.480> not<00:02:52.720> what<00:02:52.879> you're
Oh, but that's actually not what you're
Oh, but that's actually not what you're
thinking<00:02:53.360> right<00:02:53.599> now.<00:02:54.000> So,<00:02:54.319> let's<00:02:54.640> just<00:02:54.800> be
thinking right now. So, let's just be
thinking right now. So, let's just be
honest.
honest.
honest.
Actually,<00:02:55.760> you're<00:02:56.000> wrong.<00:02:56.720> Tell<00:02:56.879> me<00:02:57.040> the
Actually, you're wrong. Tell me the
Actually, you're wrong. Tell me the
truth.
truth.
truth.
I<00:02:58.400> can<00:02:58.480> I<00:02:58.800> can<00:02:58.879> read<00:02:59.040> it.
I can I can read it.
I can I can read it.
I<00:02:59.519> can<00:02:59.680> read<00:02:59.920> it.<00:03:00.640> Your<00:03:00.879> intentions<00:03:01.920> are<00:03:02.159> not
I can read it. Your intentions are not
I can read it. Your intentions are not
pure.<00:03:02.720> Let's<00:03:02.959> talk<00:03:03.120> about<00:03:03.280> it.
pure. Let's talk about it.
pure. Let's talk about it.
Speaking<00:03:05.040> of<00:03:05.200> things<00:03:05.360> we<00:03:05.599> want<00:03:05.680> to<00:03:05.840> talk<00:03:06.080> about
Speaking of things we want to talk about
Speaking of things we want to talk about
today,<00:03:07.599> I<00:03:07.840> hope<00:03:08.000> we<00:03:08.159> enticed<00:03:08.640> you<00:03:08.879> with<00:03:09.200> all<00:03:09.360> of
today, I hope we enticed you with all of
today, I hope we enticed you with all of
the<00:03:10.319> information<00:03:10.720> we've<00:03:11.040> given<00:03:11.360> so<00:03:11.599> far.<00:03:11.920> But
the information we've given so far. But
the information we've given so far. But
if<00:03:12.319> you<00:03:12.480> haven't<00:03:12.720> guessed,<00:03:13.040> the<00:03:13.200> book<00:03:13.360> we're
if you haven't guessed, the book we're
if you haven't guessed, the book we're
talking<00:03:13.920> about<00:03:14.159> today<00:03:14.560> is<00:03:15.040> Metal<00:03:15.440> Slinger<00:03:16.000> by
talking about today is Metal Slinger by
talking about today is Metal Slinger by
Rachel<00:03:17.120> Schneider<00:03:18.000> from<00:03:18.319> the<00:03:18.560> Fire<00:03:18.879> and<00:03:19.120> Metal
Rachel Schneider from the Fire and Metal
Rachel Schneider from the Fire and Metal
duogy.<00:03:20.239> And<00:03:20.400> this<00:03:20.560> is<00:03:20.959> book<00:03:21.360> one.<00:03:22.080> Thank
duogy. And this is book one. Thank
duogy. And this is book one. Thank
goodness<00:03:22.879> it's<00:03:23.040> a<00:03:23.200> duogy.
goodness it's a duogy.
goodness it's a duogy.
I<00:03:24.720> am<00:03:24.879> here<00:03:25.040> for<00:03:25.280> the<00:03:25.440> duogies<00:03:26.159> that<00:03:26.400> are
I am here for the duogies that are
I am here for the duogies that are
taking<00:03:26.959> over.
taking over.
taking over.
A<00:03:28.319> onew<00:03:28.879> punch.<00:03:29.680> Knock<00:03:30.000> me<00:03:30.159> out.<00:03:30.879> Knock<00:03:31.120> me
A onew punch. Knock me out. Knock me
A onew punch. Knock me out. Knock me
out.<00:03:32.239> But<00:03:32.560> before<00:03:32.879> we<00:03:33.120> go<00:03:33.440> even<00:03:33.760> farther<00:03:34.239> into
out. But before we go even farther into
out. But before we go even farther into
this<00:03:34.720> book,<00:03:35.040> we<00:03:35.200> do<00:03:35.440> have<00:03:35.599> to<00:03:35.760> say<00:03:36.720> spoilers.
this book, we do have to say spoilers.
this book, we do have to say spoilers.
Yes,<00:03:38.640> big<00:03:38.959> spoilers.<00:03:40.080> I'm<00:03:40.319> not<00:03:40.480> even<00:03:40.640> going<00:03:40.799> to
Yes, big spoilers. I'm not even going to
Yes, big spoilers. I'm not even going to
we're<00:03:41.360> not<00:03:41.599> we're<00:03:41.920> not<00:03:42.000> even<00:03:42.159> going<00:03:42.239> to
we're not we're not even going to
we're not we're not even going to
pretend.<00:03:42.640> We're<00:03:42.799> going<00:03:42.879> to<00:03:42.959> give<00:03:43.120> away<00:03:43.440> some
pretend. We're going to give away some
pretend. We're going to give away some
big<00:03:43.920> major<00:03:44.319> plot<00:03:44.560> points.<00:03:45.040> So,<00:03:45.360> if<00:03:45.599> you<00:03:45.680> want
big major plot points. So, if you want
big major plot points. So, if you want
to<00:03:45.920> read<00:03:46.080> this<00:03:46.319> book,<00:03:46.560> if<00:03:46.720> you<00:03:46.799> were<00:03:46.959> like,
to read this book, if you were like,
to read this book, if you were like,
"Wow,<00:03:47.360> that<00:03:47.599> sounds<00:03:47.760> really<00:03:48.000> interesting<00:03:48.400> and
"Wow, that sounds really interesting and
"Wow, that sounds really interesting and
I<00:03:48.799> want<00:03:48.879> to<00:03:49.040> read<00:03:49.200> this<00:03:49.519> before
I want to read this before
I want to read this before
they<00:03:51.599> talk<00:03:51.760> about<00:03:51.920> it<00:03:52.159> and<00:03:52.480> listen<00:03:52.720> to<00:03:52.879> what
they talk about it and listen to what
they talk about it and listen to what
they<00:03:53.200> have<00:03:53.280> to<00:03:53.440> say."<00:03:54.560> See<00:03:54.720> you<00:03:54.879> when<00:03:55.040> you
they have to say." See you when you
they have to say." See you when you
finish<00:03:55.360> it.<00:03:55.760> Listen<00:03:56.080> when<00:03:56.239> you're<00:03:56.480> done.<00:03:57.040> We
finish it. Listen when you're done. We
finish it. Listen when you're done. We
will<00:03:57.680> still<00:03:57.920> be<00:03:58.000> here.<00:03:58.319> Come<00:03:58.560> back.<00:03:59.360> That
will still be here. Come back. That
will still be here. Come back. That
being<00:03:59.920> said,<00:04:01.200> thoughts<00:04:01.519> and<00:04:01.680> prayers<00:04:01.920> to<00:04:02.080> the
being said, thoughts and prayers to the
being said, thoughts and prayers to the
ones<00:04:02.319> who<00:04:02.480> haven't<00:04:02.720> read<00:04:02.879> it,<00:04:03.920> literally.
ones who haven't read it, literally.
ones who haven't read it, literally.
Okay,<00:04:05.360> so<00:04:05.760> like<00:04:06.000> most<00:04:06.319> tropes<00:04:06.799> in<00:04:07.040> any<00:04:07.280> fantasy
Okay, so like most tropes in any fantasy
Okay, so like most tropes in any fantasy
novel,<00:04:08.319> no<00:04:08.560> one<00:04:08.720> likes<00:04:09.200> the<00:04:09.519> lead<00:04:10.400> female
novel, no one likes the lead female
novel, no one likes the lead female
character<00:04:11.680> named<00:04:12.080> Brin.
character named Brin.
character named Brin.
Caveat<00:04:14.400> might<00:04:14.720> have<00:04:14.799> a<00:04:15.040> change<00:04:15.200> of<00:04:15.360> name
Caveat might have a change of name
Caveat might have a change of name
later,<00:04:15.840> but<00:04:16.079> for<00:04:16.239> now,<00:04:16.560> Brin.<00:04:17.519> With<00:04:17.759> the
later, but for now, Brin. With the
later, but for now, Brin. With the
exception<00:04:18.639> of<00:04:19.199> two<00:04:19.519> guys,<00:04:20.000> big<00:04:20.320> shocker,<00:04:20.880> she
exception of two guys, big shocker, she
exception of two guys, big shocker, she
only<00:04:21.359> has<00:04:21.600> two<00:04:21.919> male<00:04:22.240> friends<00:04:23.199> who<00:04:23.520> are<00:04:23.680> both
only has two male friends who are both
only has two male friends who are both
very<00:04:24.400> popular<00:04:24.880> and<00:04:25.199> very<00:04:25.520> powerful,<00:04:26.240> while
very popular and very powerful, while
very popular and very powerful, while
she<00:04:27.600> is<00:04:27.840> not.<00:04:28.160> She<00:04:28.400> is<00:04:28.560> poor<00:04:28.720> and<00:04:28.960> everyone
she is not. She is poor and everyone
she is not. She is poor and everyone
hates<00:04:29.440> her.<00:04:30.160> Uh<00:04:30.479> so<00:04:30.720> one<00:04:30.880> of<00:04:30.960> her<00:04:31.120> best<00:04:31.360> friends
hates her. Uh so one of her best friends
hates her. Uh so one of her best friends
and<00:04:32.560> her<00:04:33.120> love<00:04:33.360> interest<00:04:34.560> is<00:04:34.960> the<00:04:35.919> son<00:04:36.240> of<00:04:36.479> the
and her love interest is the son of the
and her love interest is the son of the
leader<00:04:37.040> of<00:04:37.280> Aaha.<00:04:38.000> Aloha<00:04:38.880> is<00:04:39.280> the<00:04:40.479> mythical
leader of Aaha. Aloha is the mythical
leader of Aaha. Aloha is the mythical
place<00:04:42.000> that<00:04:42.320> is<00:04:42.560> not<00:04:42.720> on<00:04:42.960> land.<00:04:43.280> It's
place that is not on land. It's
place that is not on land. It's
basically<00:04:43.840> a<00:04:44.080> boatyard.<00:04:44.639> They<00:04:44.880> live<00:04:45.120> they
basically a boatyard. They live they
basically a boatyard. They live they
live<00:04:45.520> in<00:04:45.680> an<00:04:45.840> impoverished<00:04:46.479> boatyard.<00:04:47.520> That
live in an impoverished boatyard. That
live in an impoverished boatyard. That
is<00:04:48.080> until<00:04:49.440> another<00:04:49.919> guy<00:04:50.320> shows<00:04:50.639> up<00:04:51.360> claiming
is until another guy shows up claiming
is until another guy shows up claiming
to<00:04:52.000> be<00:04:52.720> the<00:04:52.960> love<00:04:53.120> of<00:04:53.280> Brin's<00:04:53.759> life.
to be the love of Brin's life.
to be the love of Brin's life.
Introducing<00:04:55.280> Aker,<00:04:55.840> the<00:04:56.000> epitome<00:04:56.400> of<00:04:56.560> a<00:04:56.720> rich
Introducing Aker, the epitome of a rich
Introducing Aker, the epitome of a rich
[Â __Â ]<00:04:57.280> boy.<00:04:58.240> Yeah,<00:04:59.199> but<00:04:59.440> he's<00:04:59.759> hot.<00:05:00.240> Oh,<00:05:00.479> he's
[Â __Â ] boy. Yeah, but he's hot. Oh, he's
[Â __Â ] boy. Yeah, but he's hot. Oh, he's
so<00:05:00.800> hot.
so hot.
so hot.
He's<00:05:01.280> so<00:05:01.520> hot.
He's so hot.
He's so hot.
He's<00:05:01.919> so<00:05:02.080> hot.<00:05:02.479> From<00:05:02.800> the<00:05:03.040> nose<00:05:03.360> ring<00:05:03.759> to<00:05:04.000> the
He's so hot. From the nose ring to the
He's so hot. From the nose ring to the
six-pack.
six-pack.
six-pack.
This<00:05:06.240> prince<00:05:06.639> of<00:05:06.800> the<00:05:06.960> enemy<00:05:07.440> kingdom<00:05:07.919> has
This prince of the enemy kingdom has
This prince of the enemy kingdom has
some<00:05:08.400> secrets<00:05:08.800> of<00:05:08.960> his<00:05:09.199> own.<00:05:10.320> So,<00:05:11.199> what<00:05:11.440> will
some secrets of his own. So, what will
some secrets of his own. So, what will
all<00:05:11.840> of<00:05:12.000> these<00:05:12.320> young,<00:05:12.639> hot,<00:05:13.120> powerful<00:05:13.759> idiots
all of these young, hot, powerful idiots
all of these young, hot, powerful idiots
do?<00:05:15.520> Find<00:05:15.759> out<00:05:16.080> in<00:05:16.400> this<00:05:16.639> book<00:05:16.960> talk
do? Find out in this book talk
do? Find out in this book talk
sensation,<00:05:18.639> Metal<00:05:18.960> Slinger.
sensation, Metal Slinger.
sensation, Metal Slinger.
Okay,<00:05:21.680> so<00:05:21.840> the<00:05:22.080> male<00:05:22.320> lead<00:05:23.440> aer<00:05:24.240> who<00:05:24.400> I<00:05:24.560> also
Okay, so the male lead aer who I also
Okay, so the male lead aer who I also
wrote<00:05:25.199> someone<00:05:25.520> who<00:05:25.759> mus<00:05:26.240> unironically
wrote someone who mus unironically
wrote someone who mus unironically
when<00:05:29.039> I<00:05:29.199> read<00:05:29.440> that<00:05:29.840> I<00:05:31.039> laughed<00:05:31.360> out<00:05:31.520> loud.
when I read that I laughed out loud.
when I read that I laughed out loud.
He's<00:05:33.039> 20<00:05:33.520> so<00:05:34.639> he<00:05:35.039> some<00:05:35.360> grace
He's 20 so he some grace
He's 20 so he some grace
some<00:05:38.080> grace.<00:05:38.560> He's<00:05:38.880> only<00:05:39.120> 20.
some grace. He's only 20.
some grace. He's only 20.
Normally<00:05:42.560> throughout<00:05:42.800> the<00:05:43.039> week,<00:05:43.280> Alyssa<00:05:43.680> and
Normally throughout the week, Alyssa and
Normally throughout the week, Alyssa and
I<00:05:44.160> will<00:05:44.960> talk<00:05:45.199> about<00:05:45.440> where<00:05:45.680> we<00:05:45.759> are<00:05:45.919> in<00:05:46.160> this
I will talk about where we are in this
I will talk about where we are in this
in<00:05:46.639> each<00:05:46.880> book<00:05:47.120> we're<00:05:47.360> doing.<00:05:47.759> Mhm.
in each book we're doing. Mhm.
in each book we're doing. Mhm.
We<00:05:48.720> did<00:05:48.880> not<00:05:49.120> do<00:05:49.280> this<00:05:49.520> book<00:05:50.080> at<00:05:50.320> all.<00:05:50.479> Like<00:05:50.720> I
We did not do this book at all. Like I
We did not do this book at all. Like I
finished<00:05:51.280> it<00:05:51.600> way<00:05:51.840> before<00:05:52.400> and<00:05:52.639> she<00:05:53.039> and<00:05:53.280> we
finished it way before and she and we
finished it way before and she and we
just<00:05:53.680> didn't<00:05:53.840> see<00:05:54.080> each<00:05:54.240> other<00:05:54.960> by<00:05:55.199> the<00:05:55.360> time
just didn't see each other by the time
just didn't see each other by the time
she<00:05:55.680> was<00:05:55.840> in<00:05:56.000> it.<00:05:56.800> So<00:05:57.039> I<00:05:57.360> am<00:05:57.520> dying<00:05:58.000> to<00:05:58.479> like
she was in it. So I am dying to like
she was in it. So I am dying to like
give<00:05:58.880> me<00:05:59.600> give<00:05:59.759> me<00:05:59.919> your<00:06:00.160> impressions.<00:06:00.560> I<00:06:00.720> want
give me give me your impressions. I want
give me give me your impressions. I want
to<00:06:00.960> hear<00:06:01.120> it.<00:06:02.000> I<00:06:02.240> literally<00:06:02.880> had<00:06:03.120> to<00:06:04.000> reread
to hear it. I literally had to reread
to hear it. I literally had to reread
the<00:06:05.199> last<00:06:05.840> like<00:06:06.639> handful<00:06:07.039> of<00:06:07.199> chapters.<00:06:08.319> I<00:06:08.720> was
the last like handful of chapters. I was
the last like handful of chapters. I was
in<00:06:09.199> utter<00:06:09.440> shock<00:06:09.840> at<00:06:10.000> the<00:06:10.080> end<00:06:10.240> of<00:06:10.319> it.<00:06:10.479> I<00:06:10.560> was
in utter shock at the end of it. I was
in utter shock at the end of it. I was
like,<00:06:10.720> "What<00:06:10.960> the<00:06:11.520> [Â __Â ]<00:06:11.759> did<00:06:12.000> I<00:06:12.160> read?"
like, "What the [Â __Â ] did I read?"
like, "What the [Â __Â ] did I read?"
Yeah.<00:06:14.160> I'm<00:06:14.400> just<00:06:14.639> like
Yeah. I'm just like
Yeah. I'm just like
I<00:06:16.639> was<00:06:16.800> speechless<00:06:17.600> and<00:06:17.840> I<00:06:18.000> feel<00:06:18.080> like<00:06:18.240> I
I was speechless and I feel like I
I was speechless and I feel like I
haven't<00:06:18.639> read<00:06:18.800> a<00:06:19.039> book<00:06:19.280> with<00:06:19.600> that<00:06:19.840> type<00:06:20.000> of
haven't read a book with that type of
haven't read a book with that type of
twist<00:06:20.479> at<00:06:20.720> the<00:06:20.880> end<00:06:21.680> in<00:06:22.000> a<00:06:22.240> really<00:06:22.479> long<00:06:22.800> time.
twist at the end in a really long time.
twist at the end in a really long time.
I<00:06:24.720> finished<00:06:25.039> it<00:06:25.440> earlier<00:06:25.840> this<00:06:26.160> morning<00:06:26.479> and
I finished it earlier this morning and
I finished it earlier this morning and
I'm<00:06:27.039> still<00:06:27.759> I'<00:06:28.000> I've<00:06:28.240> been<00:06:28.400> thinking<00:06:28.560> about<00:06:28.639> it
I'm still I' I've been thinking about it
I'm still I' I've been thinking about it
all<00:06:29.120> day.<00:06:29.440> Like<00:06:29.759> all<00:06:30.000> day.<00:06:30.319> It's<00:06:30.479> all<00:06:30.720> that's
all day. Like all day. It's all that's
all day. Like all day. It's all that's
been<00:06:31.039> running<00:06:31.199> through<00:06:31.440> my<00:06:31.600> mind.<00:06:32.720> One<00:06:32.960> of<00:06:33.120> my
been running through my mind. One of my
been running through my mind. One of my
points<00:06:33.840> is<00:06:34.160> literally<00:06:34.720> did<00:06:34.960> the<00:06:35.120> author
points is literally did the author
points is literally did the author
gaslight<00:06:36.000> me<00:06:36.240> the<00:06:36.560> entire<00:06:37.039> time?
gaslight me the entire time?
gaslight me the entire time?
No,<00:06:37.919> literally.<00:06:38.880> And<00:06:39.199> yes,<00:06:39.919> she<00:06:40.160> did.<00:06:40.720> I<00:06:40.880> fell
No, literally. And yes, she did. I fell
No, literally. And yes, she did. I fell
for<00:06:41.280> it.
for it.
for it.
100<00:06:42.479> hook,<00:06:42.720> line,<00:06:42.880> and<00:06:43.039> sinker.<00:06:43.440> And<00:06:43.680> I<00:06:43.919> was
100 hook, line, and sinker. And I was
100 hook, line, and sinker. And I was
like,
like,
like,
"What?"<00:06:46.400> The<00:06:47.039> betrayal<00:06:47.919> in<00:06:48.160> that<00:06:48.400> book,<00:06:48.720> I<00:06:48.960> was
"What?" The betrayal in that book, I was
"What?" The betrayal in that book, I was
just<00:06:49.280> like,<00:06:49.600> it<00:06:49.919> hurt<00:06:50.160> my<00:06:50.400> own<00:06:50.639> heart.
just like, it hurt my own heart.
just like, it hurt my own heart.
The<00:06:51.759> bet<00:06:52.080> like<00:06:52.319> that's<00:06:52.479> a<00:06:52.800> big<00:06:53.039> betrayal.
The bet like that's a big betrayal.
The bet like that's a big betrayal.
And<00:06:53.840> not<00:06:54.080> even<00:06:54.240> just<00:06:54.400> to<00:06:54.560> like<00:06:54.800> one<00:06:55.039> person,
And not even just to like one person,
And not even just to like one person,
but<00:06:55.600> it<00:06:55.759> was<00:06:55.840> to<00:06:56.080> like<00:06:56.319> also<00:06:57.199> Messer,<00:06:58.400> their
but it was to like also Messer, their
but it was to like also Messer, their
best<00:06:58.880> friend<00:06:59.199> who<00:06:59.360> was<00:06:59.520> like<00:06:59.680> kept<00:06:59.919> in<00:07:00.080> the
best friend who was like kept in the
best friend who was like kept in the
dark.
dark.
dark.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But<00:07:02.720> mainly<00:07:03.120> Aker.
But mainly Aker.
But mainly Aker.
Oh,<00:07:04.720> I<00:07:04.880> just<00:07:06.160> Yeah.<00:07:06.800> Yeah.<00:07:07.599> Okay.<00:07:08.000> Yes.<00:07:08.319> That
Oh, I just Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. That
Oh, I just Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yes. That
is<00:07:08.639> one<00:07:08.800> of<00:07:08.880> my<00:07:09.039> points<00:07:09.360> is<00:07:09.599> the<00:07:09.759> betrayal.<00:07:10.800> I'm
is one of my points is the betrayal. I'm
is one of my points is the betrayal. I'm
gonna<00:07:11.199> say<00:07:11.360> the<00:07:11.599> high<00:07:11.840> point<00:07:13.199> of<00:07:13.440> the<00:07:13.599> book<00:07:13.840> for
gonna say the high point of the book for
gonna say the high point of the book for
me<00:07:14.560> though,<00:07:15.680> the<00:07:16.160> uh<00:07:16.639> I'm<00:07:16.880> gonna<00:07:17.039> be<00:07:17.199> so<00:07:17.360> real
me though, the uh I'm gonna be so real
me though, the uh I'm gonna be so real
with<00:07:17.759> you<00:07:17.919> right<00:07:18.080> now.<00:07:18.400> I<00:07:18.639> have<00:07:18.720> to<00:07:18.800> like<00:07:19.039> write
with you right now. I have to like write
with you right now. I have to like write
this<00:07:19.440> down.<00:07:19.919> The<00:07:20.080> high<00:07:20.319> point<00:07:20.479> of<00:07:20.560> the<00:07:20.720> book
this down. The high point of the book
this down. The high point of the book
for<00:07:21.120> me<00:07:21.280> was<00:07:21.520> the<00:07:21.680> council<00:07:22.080> room<00:07:22.400> glass<00:07:22.800> scene
for me was the council room glass scene
for me was the council room glass scene
where<00:07:23.759> she<00:07:24.000> astro<00:07:24.560> projects<00:07:24.960> to<00:07:25.120> him<00:07:25.440> and<00:07:25.680> they
where she astro projects to him and they
where she astro projects to him and they
engage<00:07:26.240> in<00:07:26.400> some<00:07:26.639> very<00:07:26.960> voyuristic<00:07:28.080> behavior.
engage in some very voyuristic behavior.
engage in some very voyuristic behavior.
Very<00:07:29.840> steamy.
Very steamy.
Very steamy.
I<00:07:31.599> thought<00:07:31.759> that<00:07:31.919> was<00:07:32.000> hot.<00:07:32.400> But<00:07:32.479> if<00:07:32.720> the<00:07:32.960> sex
I thought that was hot. But if the sex
I thought that was hot. But if the sex
scene<00:07:33.440> is<00:07:33.599> the<00:07:33.759> high<00:07:34.000> point<00:07:34.240> in<00:07:34.400> the<00:07:34.560> book<00:07:34.800> for
scene is the high point in the book for
scene is the high point in the book for
you,
you,
you,
that's<00:07:36.960> probably<00:07:37.120> a<00:07:37.360> problem<00:07:37.759> with<00:07:38.000> the<00:07:38.240> book.
that's probably a problem with the book.
that's probably a problem with the book.
I<00:07:38.960> can<00:07:39.120> admit<00:07:39.440> that.<00:07:40.400> Yeah,<00:07:40.960> it<00:07:41.280> was<00:07:41.360> a<00:07:41.520> good
I can admit that. Yeah, it was a good
I can admit that. Yeah, it was a good
scene<00:07:42.080> though.<00:07:42.800> It<00:07:43.039> was<00:07:43.199> hot.<00:07:43.680> It<00:07:43.919> was<00:07:44.080> really
scene though. It was hot. It was really
scene though. It was hot. It was really
hot.<00:07:44.960> Like<00:07:45.520> I<00:07:45.759> was<00:07:45.919> like,<00:07:46.160> "Oh,
hot. Like I was like, "Oh,
hot. Like I was like, "Oh,
oh,<00:07:48.479> oh,<00:07:48.960> oh,<00:07:49.360> oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh."
oh."
oh."
I<00:07:53.599> also<00:07:53.919> liked<00:07:54.400> this.<00:07:55.440> Which<00:07:55.840> I<00:07:56.080> I<00:07:56.319> don't<00:07:56.319> even
I also liked this. Which I I don't even
I also liked this. Which I I don't even
know<00:07:56.560> what<00:07:56.720> it<00:07:56.800> is<00:07:57.039> now,<00:07:57.360> but<00:07:57.680> the<00:07:58.000> slow<00:07:58.240> burn
know what it is now, but the slow burn
know what it is now, but the slow burn
throughout<00:07:59.599> the<00:07:59.919> book<00:08:00.479> on<00:08:00.800> and<00:08:00.960> just<00:08:01.199> like<00:08:01.360> the
throughout the book on and just like the
throughout the book on and just like the
buildup<00:08:02.160> tension.
buildup tension.
buildup tension.
So<00:08:03.440> much,
So much,
So much,
but<00:08:03.840> then<00:08:04.000> for<00:08:04.560> it<00:08:04.800> to<00:08:04.960> just<00:08:05.120> turn<00:08:05.280> around<00:08:05.520> at
but then for it to just turn around at
but then for it to just turn around at
the<00:08:05.840> end,<00:08:06.080> I<00:08:06.240> was<00:08:06.400> like,
the end, I was like,
the end, I was like,
"What<00:08:07.840> the<00:08:08.000> [Â __Â ]<00:08:08.160> was<00:08:08.319> the<00:08:08.560> point?
"What the [Â __Â ] was the point?
"What the [Â __Â ] was the point?
And<00:08:10.319> that's<00:08:10.639> why<00:08:12.000> there's<00:08:12.479> book<00:08:12.720> two<00:08:12.960> that's
And that's why there's book two that's
And that's why there's book two that's
not<00:08:13.360> out.
not out.
not out.
Yeah.<00:08:14.960> Which<00:08:15.199> is<00:08:15.360> also<00:08:15.759> frustrating.
Yeah. Which is also frustrating.
Yeah. Which is also frustrating.
Very<00:08:17.199> very<00:08:17.680> Yeah.<00:08:18.000> Yeah.<00:08:18.160> No.<00:08:18.400> No.<00:08:18.639> I<00:08:18.879> was<00:08:19.039> also
Very very Yeah. Yeah. No. No. I was also
Very very Yeah. Yeah. No. No. I was also
like,<00:08:19.759> how<00:08:19.919> do<00:08:20.000> you<00:08:20.160> rebuild<00:08:20.560> from<00:08:20.800> that?
like, how do you rebuild from that?
like, how do you rebuild from that?
Right.<00:08:21.919> How<00:08:22.080> do<00:08:22.160> you<00:08:22.319> rebuild<00:08:22.720> from<00:08:22.879> that?<00:08:23.039> So
Right. How do you rebuild from that? So
Right. How do you rebuild from that? So
that's<00:08:23.520> one<00:08:23.680> of<00:08:23.759> the<00:08:23.919> things<00:08:24.080> we're<00:08:24.319> going<00:08:24.400> to
that's one of the things we're going to
that's one of the things we're going to
talk<00:08:24.639> about<00:08:24.960> too.<00:08:26.080> How<00:08:26.240> do<00:08:26.319> you<00:08:26.479> rebuild<00:08:26.879> from
talk about too. How do you rebuild from
talk about too. How do you rebuild from
betrayal?
betrayal?
betrayal?
We're<00:08:28.800> going<00:08:28.960> to<00:08:29.039> use<00:08:29.520> acceptance<00:08:30.000> and
We're going to use acceptance and
We're going to use acceptance and
commitment<00:08:30.639> therapy<00:08:31.520> approach<00:08:31.919> because<00:08:32.159> both
commitment therapy approach because both
commitment therapy approach because both
of<00:08:32.479> us<00:08:32.640> practice<00:08:33.039> act<00:08:33.919> in<00:08:34.159> general.<00:08:34.479> So
of us practice act in general. So
of us practice act in general. So
immediately<00:08:35.440> I<00:08:35.680> was<00:08:35.760> like,<00:08:35.919> "Act<00:08:37.120> act.<00:08:38.000> For
immediately I was like, "Act act. For
immediately I was like, "Act act. For
the<00:08:38.320> love<00:08:38.479> of<00:08:38.640> God,<00:08:38.959> please."<00:08:39.680> I'm<00:08:39.919> like,
the love of God, please." I'm like,
the love of God, please." I'm like,
"They're<00:08:40.320> going<00:08:40.399> to<00:08:40.479> have<00:08:40.640> to<00:08:40.800> pay<00:08:41.039> for<00:08:42.000> Akur's
"They're going to have to pay for Akur's
"They're going to have to pay for Akur's
therapy."<00:08:43.599> Okay,<00:08:43.919> but<00:08:44.159> they're<00:08:44.399> all<00:08:45.760> they<00:08:46.080> all
therapy." Okay, but they're all they all
therapy." Okay, but they're all they all
need<00:08:46.480> therapy.<00:08:46.959> They're<00:08:47.200> all<00:08:47.360> problematic.
need therapy. They're all problematic.
need therapy. They're all problematic.
Like<00:08:48.320> no<00:08:48.560> one<00:08:48.640> in<00:08:48.880> here<00:08:49.120> was<00:08:49.440> like<00:08:50.800> making<00:08:51.200> good
Like no one in here was like making good
Like no one in here was like making good
choices<00:08:51.920> for<00:08:52.160> the<00:08:52.320> benefit<00:08:52.640> of<00:08:52.800> the<00:08:53.040> group
choices for the benefit of the group
choices for the benefit of the group
consistently.<00:08:54.720> Yeah,<00:08:55.200> they<00:08:55.440> were<00:08:55.680> all
consistently. Yeah, they were all
consistently. Yeah, they were all
sneaky<00:08:58.320> little<00:08:58.560> sneaks.
sneaky little sneaks.
sneaky little sneaks.
Except<00:09:00.640> maybe.<00:09:00.959> And<00:09:01.120> maybe<00:09:01.360> because<00:09:01.600> I<00:09:01.839> don't
Except maybe. And maybe because I don't
Except maybe. And maybe because I don't
know<00:09:02.399> enough<00:09:03.440> about<00:09:04.240> her<00:09:04.959> Aker's<00:09:05.680> fiance,
know enough about her Aker's fiance,
know enough about her Aker's fiance,
former<00:09:07.680> fiance,<00:09:08.240> which<00:09:08.480> was<00:09:08.640> the<00:09:08.800> low<00:09:09.040> point
former fiance, which was the low point
former fiance, which was the low point
in<00:09:09.440> the<00:09:09.600> book<00:09:09.760> for<00:09:09.920> me.
in the book for me.
in the book for me.
Yeah.<00:09:11.120> where<00:09:11.360> he<00:09:12.399> humili<00:09:12.959> humiliated<00:09:14.080> his
Yeah. where he humili humiliated his
Yeah. where he humili humiliated his
current<00:09:14.640> fiance<00:09:15.200> publicly<00:09:15.600> to<00:09:15.839> prove<00:09:16.000> a<00:09:16.240> point
current fiance publicly to prove a point
current fiance publicly to prove a point
about
about
about
Brin/Jovi
Brin/Jovi
Brin/Jovi
who<00:09:22.160> I<00:09:22.399> I<00:09:22.800> did<00:09:23.279> look<00:09:23.519> up<00:09:24.560> if<00:09:24.800> she<00:09:25.120> had
who I I did look up if she had
who I I did look up if she had
dissociative<00:09:27.120> personality<00:09:27.839> disorder
dissociative personality disorder
dissociative personality disorder
because
because
because
yeah<00:09:32.880> it<00:09:33.200> was<00:09:33.600> or<00:09:33.920> dissociative<00:09:34.720> identity
yeah it was or dissociative identity
yeah it was or dissociative identity
personality<00:09:35.839> disorder<00:09:36.560> because<00:09:36.959> I<00:09:37.519> was<00:09:37.680> like
personality disorder because I was like
personality disorder because I was like
what
what
what
is<00:09:40.399> happening
is happening
is happening
And<00:09:41.519> it<00:09:41.760> seems<00:09:41.920> like<00:09:42.160> when<00:09:42.399> she<00:09:42.720> was<00:09:43.040> Joy,<00:09:43.839> she
And it seems like when she was Joy, she
And it seems like when she was Joy, she
was<00:09:45.519> like<00:09:45.839> all<00:09:46.080> into<00:09:46.399> Aker,<00:09:46.800> but<00:09:47.040> when<00:09:47.200> she's
was like all into Aker, but when she's
was like all into Aker, but when she's
Brin,
Brin,
Brin,
she's<00:09:49.040> all<00:09:49.200> into<00:09:49.920> Aloha.
she's all into Aloha.
she's all into Aloha.
It's<00:09:52.800> like<00:09:52.959> very<00:09:53.200> much<00:09:53.360> like<00:09:53.519> a<00:09:54.320> switch<00:09:54.720> would
It's like very much like a switch would
It's like very much like a switch would
flip.
flip.
flip.
Yeah.<00:09:56.560> And<00:09:56.959> I<00:09:57.200> think<00:09:57.360> that<00:09:57.600> was<00:09:57.760> definitely
Yeah. And I think that was definitely
Yeah. And I think that was definitely
like<00:09:58.640> her<00:09:59.760> coping<00:10:00.160> skills<00:10:00.480> and<00:10:00.720> she<00:10:00.959> doesn't
like her coping skills and she doesn't
like her coping skills and she doesn't
quite<00:10:01.680> meet<00:10:02.000> the
quite meet the
quite meet the
criteria<00:10:04.800> for<00:10:05.040> a<00:10:05.200> diagnosis<00:10:06.000> because<00:10:06.320> I<00:10:06.480> I<00:10:06.800> do
criteria for a diagnosis because I I do
criteria for a diagnosis because I I do
think<00:10:07.120> she<00:10:07.440> has<00:10:07.920> control<00:10:08.399> over<00:10:08.720> it<00:10:09.279> which<00:10:10.080> is
think she has control over it which is
think she has control over it which is
one<00:10:10.640> of<00:10:10.720> the<00:10:10.880> biggest<00:10:11.200> things<00:10:11.360> is<00:10:11.680> you<00:10:11.839> don't
one of the biggest things is you don't
one of the biggest things is you don't
necessarily<00:10:12.640> have<00:10:12.800> control<00:10:13.120> and<00:10:13.279> you<00:10:13.440> kind<00:10:13.600> of
necessarily have control and you kind of
necessarily have control and you kind of
black<00:10:13.920> out<00:10:14.079> when<00:10:14.240> you're<00:10:14.399> doing<00:10:14.640> this.<00:10:15.920> But
black out when you're doing this. But
black out when you're doing this. But
like<00:10:16.560> oh<00:10:16.800> my<00:10:17.040> gosh<00:10:18.160> crazy.
like oh my gosh crazy.
like oh my gosh crazy.
So<00:10:20.079> I<00:10:20.320> do<00:10:20.480> want<00:10:20.640> to<00:10:20.800> talk<00:10:21.120> acceptance<00:10:21.600> and
So I do want to talk acceptance and
So I do want to talk acceptance and
commitment<00:10:22.240> therapy<00:10:22.640> just<00:10:22.880> to<00:10:23.040> kind<00:10:23.120> of<00:10:23.200> give
commitment therapy just to kind of give
commitment therapy just to kind of give
an<00:10:23.600> overview<00:10:24.079> for<00:10:24.320> our<00:10:24.640> listeners.
an overview for our listeners.
an overview for our listeners.
Acceptance<00:10:25.920> and<00:10:26.079> commitment<00:10:26.480> therapy<00:10:26.880> is<00:10:26.959> a
Acceptance and commitment therapy is a
Acceptance and commitment therapy is a
form<00:10:27.360> of<00:10:27.519> psychotherapy<00:10:28.240> that<00:10:28.480> helps
form of psychotherapy that helps
form of psychotherapy that helps
individuals<00:10:29.360> develop<00:10:29.760> psychological
individuals develop psychological
individuals develop psychological
flexibility,<00:10:31.839> which<00:10:32.000> is<00:10:32.160> the<00:10:32.399> ability<00:10:32.720> to
flexibility, which is the ability to
flexibility, which is the ability to
stay<00:10:33.200> present,<00:10:34.079> open<00:10:34.320> up<00:10:34.560> to<00:10:34.880> experiences,
stay present, open up to experiences,
stay present, open up to experiences,
and<00:10:36.320> take<00:10:36.560> committed<00:10:36.959> actions<00:10:37.600> aligned<00:10:38.079> with
and take committed actions aligned with
and take committed actions aligned with
a<00:10:38.720> person's<00:10:39.120> values<00:10:39.680> even<00:10:39.920> in<00:10:40.079> the<00:10:40.240> presence
a person's values even in the presence
a person's values even in the presence
of<00:10:40.800> difficult<00:10:41.200> thoughts<00:10:41.519> and<00:10:41.760> emotions,
of difficult thoughts and emotions,
of difficult thoughts and emotions,
which<00:10:42.800> were<00:10:43.040> all<00:10:43.279> over<00:10:43.440> the<00:10:43.680> place<00:10:43.839> here.<00:10:44.320> All
which were all over the place here. All
which were all over the place here. All
over.<00:10:44.880> So<00:10:45.120> many<00:10:45.360> difficult<00:10:45.680> thoughts<00:10:46.399> mostly
over. So many difficult thoughts mostly
over. So many difficult thoughts mostly
coming<00:10:47.120> from<00:10:47.360> me.<00:10:48.640> So<00:10:48.880> many<00:10:49.120> difficult
coming from me. So many difficult
coming from me. So many difficult
emotions<00:10:50.399> also<00:10:50.800> coming<00:10:51.040> from<00:10:51.360> me
emotions also coming from me
emotions also coming from me
with<00:10:53.440> ACT.<00:10:54.079> There's<00:10:55.200> six<00:10:55.600> core<00:10:56.079> processes.
with ACT. There's six core processes.
with ACT. There's six core processes.
And<00:10:57.440> so<00:10:57.680> our<00:10:57.920> first<00:10:58.079> one<00:10:58.240> is<00:10:58.480> cognitive
And so our first one is cognitive
And so our first one is cognitive
diffusion,<00:10:59.519> which<00:10:59.680> is<00:10:59.920> learning<00:11:00.160> to<00:11:00.480> step
diffusion, which is learning to step
diffusion, which is learning to step
back<00:11:00.959> from<00:11:01.200> thoughts<00:11:01.600> rather<00:11:01.920> than<00:11:02.160> getting
back from thoughts rather than getting
back from thoughts rather than getting
caught<00:11:02.640> up<00:11:02.800> in<00:11:02.959> them.<00:11:03.680> And<00:11:03.839> then<00:11:03.920> the<00:11:04.160> second
caught up in them. And then the second
caught up in them. And then the second
one<00:11:04.480> is<00:11:04.720> acceptance.<00:11:05.360> So<00:11:05.519> allowing<00:11:05.920> thoughts
one is acceptance. So allowing thoughts
one is acceptance. So allowing thoughts
and<00:11:06.480> feelings<00:11:06.800> to<00:11:06.959> come<00:11:07.120> and<00:11:07.360> go<00:11:07.519> without
and feelings to come and go without
and feelings to come and go without
struggling<00:11:08.240> with<00:11:08.480> them.<00:11:09.360> I<00:11:09.519> think<00:11:09.680> that's<00:11:09.839> one
struggling with them. I think that's one
struggling with them. I think that's one
of the<00:11:10.160> hardest<00:11:10.399> ones<00:11:10.560> that<00:11:10.720> I<00:11:11.680> have<00:11:11.839> a<00:11:12.000> hard
of the hardest ones that I have a hard
of the hardest ones that I have a hard
time<00:11:12.320> with<00:11:12.480> is<00:11:12.640> acceptance.<00:11:13.760> Personally,
time with is acceptance. Personally,
time with is acceptance. Personally,
yeah,<00:11:15.519> I<00:11:15.839> think<00:11:17.040> all<00:11:17.279> of<00:11:17.360> these<00:11:17.680> characters<00:11:18.959> I
yeah, I think all of these characters I
yeah, I think all of these characters I
think<00:11:19.279> Aker<00:11:19.680> will<00:11:19.920> struggle<00:11:20.160> with<00:11:20.320> that<00:11:20.560> the
think Aker will struggle with that the
think Aker will struggle with that the
most<00:11:21.120> for<00:11:21.360> sure.<00:11:22.399> And<00:11:22.640> then<00:11:22.800> the<00:11:23.040> third<00:11:23.200> one<00:11:23.440> is
most for sure. And then the third one is
most for sure. And then the third one is
present<00:11:24.240> moment<00:11:24.560> awareness.<00:11:25.040> So<00:11:25.279> being
present moment awareness. So being
present moment awareness. So being
mindful<00:11:25.839> and<00:11:26.079> fully<00:11:26.399> engaged<00:11:26.800> in<00:11:27.040> the<00:11:27.200> here
mindful and fully engaged in the here
mindful and fully engaged in the here
and<00:11:27.680> now.<00:11:28.720> And<00:11:28.880> then<00:11:29.360> number<00:11:29.680> four<00:11:30.079> is<00:11:30.399> self<00:11:30.880> as
and now. And then number four is self as
and now. And then number four is self as
context.<00:11:32.079> So<00:11:32.320> seeing<00:11:32.640> oneself<00:11:33.200> as<00:11:33.519> more<00:11:33.680> than
context. So seeing oneself as more than
context. So seeing oneself as more than
just<00:11:34.240> one's<00:11:34.560> thoughts,<00:11:35.120> feelings,<00:11:35.760> and<00:11:36.160> or
just one's thoughts, feelings, and or
just one's thoughts, feelings, and or
roles.<00:11:37.920> And<00:11:38.160> then<00:11:38.399> number<00:11:38.640> five<00:11:38.880> is<00:11:39.120> values.
roles. And then number five is values.
roles. And then number five is values.
So<00:11:39.839> clarifying<00:11:40.320> what<00:11:40.560> truly<00:11:41.040> matters<00:11:41.360> to<00:11:41.519> the
So clarifying what truly matters to the
So clarifying what truly matters to the
individual.<00:11:42.800> And<00:11:42.959> then<00:11:43.200> six<00:11:43.600> is<00:11:44.000> committed
individual. And then six is committed
individual. And then six is committed
action.<00:11:44.880> So<00:11:45.120> taking<00:11:45.440> meaningful<00:11:46.000> steps
action. So taking meaningful steps
action. So taking meaningful steps
through<00:11:47.120> guided<00:11:47.920> by<00:11:48.240> values,<00:11:49.040> not<00:11:49.279> just<00:11:49.519> by
through guided by values, not just by
through guided by values, not just by
avoidance<00:11:50.160> of<00:11:50.320> the<00:11:50.560> discomfort.<00:11:51.600> So<00:11:51.920> the<00:11:52.160> goal
avoidance of the discomfort. So the goal
avoidance of the discomfort. So the goal
with<00:11:52.720> ACT<00:11:53.120> is<00:11:53.360> to<00:11:53.600> not<00:11:53.760> eliminate<00:11:54.240> difficult
with ACT is to not eliminate difficult
with ACT is to not eliminate difficult
feelings<00:11:55.120> but<00:11:55.360> to<00:11:55.600> change<00:11:55.839> the<00:11:56.079> relationship
feelings but to change the relationship
feelings but to change the relationship
with<00:11:56.880> them<00:11:57.120> so<00:11:57.279> that<00:11:57.440> you<00:11:57.680> don't<00:11:57.839> interfere
with them so that you don't interfere
with them so that you don't interfere
with<00:11:58.560> living<00:11:58.800> a<00:11:59.040> fulfillment<00:11:59.839> life.<00:12:00.640> And<00:12:00.959> I
with living a fulfillment life. And I
with living a fulfillment life. And I
think<00:12:02.240> why<00:12:02.480> we<00:12:02.800> chose<00:12:03.600> I<00:12:03.839> think<00:12:04.000> why<00:12:04.160> we<00:12:04.399> chose
think why we chose I think why we chose
think why we chose I think why we chose
to<00:12:04.720> use<00:12:04.959> ACT<00:12:05.360> with<00:12:05.600> Aker<00:12:06.160> is<00:12:06.480> because<00:12:07.519> he
to use ACT with Aker is because he
to use ACT with Aker is because he
definitely<00:12:08.240> is<00:12:08.480> going<00:12:08.639> to<00:12:09.680> have<00:12:10.000> a<00:12:10.240> lot<00:12:10.399> of
definitely is going to have a lot of
definitely is going to have a lot of
negative<00:12:10.959> feelings<00:12:11.440> that<00:12:11.760> he's<00:12:12.240> going<00:12:12.399> to
negative feelings that he's going to
negative feelings that he's going to
need<00:12:12.720> to<00:12:12.959> process<00:12:13.279> and<00:12:13.519> he's<00:12:13.839> not<00:12:14.000> going<00:12:14.079> to<00:12:14.240> be
need to process and he's not going to be
need to process and he's not going to be
able<00:12:14.639> to<00:12:14.800> get<00:12:14.959> rid<00:12:15.120> of<00:12:15.279> them<00:12:15.680> and<00:12:15.920> I<00:12:16.240> think<00:12:16.320> it's
able to get rid of them and I think it's
able to get rid of them and I think it's
important<00:12:16.880> for<00:12:17.120> him<00:12:17.760> to<00:12:18.079> not<00:12:18.320> get<00:12:18.480> rid<00:12:18.639> of<00:12:18.800> them
important for him to not get rid of them
important for him to not get rid of them
completely.
completely.
completely.
Yeah.<00:12:20.480> and<00:12:21.040> use<00:12:21.279> them<00:12:21.440> as<00:12:21.600> a<00:12:21.839> learning
Yeah. and use them as a learning
Yeah. and use them as a learning
experience<00:12:23.120> and<00:12:23.440> act<00:12:23.920> will<00:12:24.240> allow<00:12:24.480> him<00:12:24.720> to<00:12:24.959> do
experience and act will allow him to do
experience and act will allow him to do
that.<00:12:25.839> So<00:12:26.160> even<00:12:26.560> as<00:12:26.880> I'm<00:12:27.440> kind<00:12:27.680> of<00:12:27.839> imagining
that. So even as I'm kind of imagining
that. So even as I'm kind of imagining
Acura<00:12:29.040> as<00:12:29.360> the<00:12:29.680> client<00:12:30.000> here,<00:12:31.120> it<00:12:31.360> is<00:12:32.240> very
Acura as the client here, it is very
Acura as the client here, it is very
much<00:12:32.720> like<00:12:33.120> after<00:12:34.160> these<00:12:34.560> books<00:12:34.800> have
much like after these books have
much like after these books have
happened<00:12:35.519> or<00:12:35.760> after<00:12:36.000> the<00:12:36.800> after<00:12:37.120> having<00:12:37.440> read
happened or after the after having read
happened or after the after having read
this<00:12:37.760> book.<00:12:38.000> So<00:12:38.160> all<00:12:38.320> of<00:12:38.399> this<00:12:38.560> has<00:12:38.720> already
this book. So all of this has already
this book. So all of this has already
happened<00:12:39.279> and<00:12:39.519> how<00:12:39.680> do<00:12:39.839> we<00:12:40.079> move
happened and how do we move
happened and how do we move
forward?
forward?
forward?
ACT<00:12:42.800> can<00:12:42.959> be<00:12:43.040> used<00:12:43.200> to<00:12:43.360> treat<00:12:43.600> a<00:12:43.839> lot<00:12:43.920> of
ACT can be used to treat a lot of
ACT can be used to treat a lot of
different<00:12:44.320> issues<00:12:44.800> from<00:12:45.200> anxiety,
different issues from anxiety,
different issues from anxiety,
depression,<00:12:46.880> chronic<00:12:47.279> pain,<00:12:47.680> substance<00:12:48.079> use
depression, chronic pain, substance use
depression, chronic pain, substance use
and<00:12:48.639> more.<00:12:49.120> It<00:12:49.360> integrates<00:12:49.839> mindfulness<00:12:50.320> and
and more. It integrates mindfulness and
and more. It integrates mindfulness and
behavior<00:12:51.120> change<00:12:51.519> strategies<00:12:52.639> and<00:12:52.880> it's<00:12:53.040> a
behavior change strategies and it's a
behavior change strategies and it's a
really<00:12:53.440> flexible<00:12:53.839> and<00:12:54.160> experiential
really flexible and experiential
really flexible and experiential
approach<00:12:55.519> which<00:12:55.760> I<00:12:56.000> think<00:12:56.079> is<00:12:56.399> good<00:12:56.560> for<00:12:56.880> all
approach which I think is good for all
approach which I think is good for all
of<00:12:57.760> these<00:12:58.160> characters<00:12:59.040> because<00:13:00.399> they're<00:13:00.720> all
of these characters because they're all
of these characters because they're all
all<00:13:01.360> over<00:13:01.519> the<00:13:01.680> place.<00:13:02.079> Like<00:13:02.480> they<00:13:02.720> are<00:13:02.959> they
all over the place. Like they are they
all over the place. Like they are they
are<00:13:03.440> all<00:13:03.600> like<00:13:04.079> 20,<00:13:05.120> 22,<00:13:06.320> 18.<00:13:06.720> Once<00:13:06.959> again,<00:13:07.200> I
are all like 20, 22, 18. Once again, I
are all like 20, 22, 18. Once again, I
don't<00:13:07.600> understand<00:13:08.160> why<00:13:09.200> in<00:13:09.519> fantasy<00:13:10.000> books
don't understand why in fantasy books
don't understand why in fantasy books
the<00:13:11.120> age<00:13:11.360> range<00:13:11.680> is<00:13:11.920> either<00:13:12.399> I<00:13:12.639> am<00:13:12.880> 20<00:13:13.360> or<00:13:13.600> I'm
the age range is either I am 20 or I'm
the age range is either I am 20 or I'm
457<00:13:15.120> years<00:13:15.360> old.<00:13:16.639> Like,<00:13:16.959> can<00:13:17.200> someone<00:13:17.519> just<00:13:17.760> be
457 years old. Like, can someone just be
457 years old. Like, can someone just be
middle-aged?<00:13:19.200> Can<00:13:19.440> someone<00:13:19.680> just<00:13:19.920> have<00:13:20.079> life
middle-aged? Can someone just have life
middle-aged? Can someone just have life
experiences<00:13:20.959> that<00:13:21.279> didn't<00:13:21.519> take<00:13:21.760> place<00:13:22.639> in
experiences that didn't take place in
experiences that didn't take place in
12,000<00:13:23.519> BC<00:13:24.480> or<00:13:25.200> two<00:13:25.440> days<00:13:25.600> ago?<00:13:26.160> That's<00:13:26.399> all
12,000 BC or two days ago? That's all
12,000 BC or two days ago? That's all
I'm<00:13:26.720> saying.
I'm saying.
I'm saying.
Yeah.<00:13:27.839> My<00:13:28.160> understanding<00:13:28.639> was<00:13:29.519> Kai's<00:13:30.160> father
Yeah. My understanding was Kai's father
Yeah. My understanding was Kai's father
is<00:13:31.040> like<00:13:32.160> hundreds<00:13:32.480> of<00:13:32.639> years<00:13:32.880> old,<00:13:33.200> right?
is like hundreds of years old, right?
is like hundreds of years old, right?
Yes.<00:13:34.160> And<00:13:34.320> so<00:13:34.560> is<00:13:34.800> Aers<00:13:35.440> like<00:13:35.680> And<00:13:35.920> so<00:13:36.079> is
Yes. And so is Aers like And so is
Yes. And so is Aers like And so is
Joy/Bin's<00:13:37.600> mom.<00:13:38.079> They're<00:13:38.399> all<00:13:38.639> like
Joy/Bin's mom. They're all like
Joy/Bin's mom. They're all like
hundreds<00:13:40.240> of<00:13:40.399> years<00:13:40.639> old
hundreds of years old
hundreds of years old
and<00:13:42.480> they're<00:13:42.639> all<00:13:42.800> lying<00:13:43.120> to<00:13:43.279> their<00:13:43.519> kids.
and they're all lying to their kids.
and they're all lying to their kids.
And<00:13:46.079> you<00:13:46.320> would<00:13:46.480> think<00:13:47.200> with<00:13:47.519> that<00:13:47.839> many<00:13:48.160> years
And you would think with that many years
And you would think with that many years
of<00:13:48.720> experience,
of experience,
of experience,
you<00:13:50.399> would<00:13:50.639> think,<00:13:50.959> you<00:13:51.120> would<00:13:51.279> think,<00:13:52.399> but
you would think, you would think, but
you would think, you would think, but
not<00:13:52.880> what<00:13:53.040> we<00:13:53.200> got.<00:13:53.519> Not<00:13:53.680> what<00:13:53.839> we<00:13:54.000> got.<00:13:55.360> Uh,<00:13:55.680> so
not what we got. Not what we got. Uh, so
not what we got. Not what we got. Uh, so
today<00:13:56.079> we're<00:13:56.240> going<00:13:56.320> to<00:13:56.399> be<00:13:56.480> talking<00:13:56.720> about
today we're going to be talking about
today we're going to be talking about
gaslighting.<00:13:58.240> There<00:13:58.399> was<00:13:58.480> a<00:13:58.639> lot<00:13:58.800> of<00:13:58.880> it.
gaslighting. There was a lot of it.
gaslighting. There was a lot of it.
Betrayal,<00:14:00.560> the<00:14:00.800> entire<00:14:01.120> book,<00:14:01.839> and
Betrayal, the entire book, and
Betrayal, the entire book, and
protecting<00:14:02.639> your<00:14:02.959> peace,<00:14:04.240> which<00:14:04.399> is<00:14:04.560> what<00:14:04.720> you
protecting your peace, which is what you
protecting your peace, which is what you
need<00:14:05.040> to<00:14:05.199> do<00:14:05.440> after<00:14:05.760> reading<00:14:06.160> this<00:14:06.399> book.
need to do after reading this book.
need to do after reading this book.
I<00:14:08.320> think<00:14:08.480> I'm<00:14:08.720> still<00:14:08.959> processing<00:14:09.600> what
I think I'm still processing what
I think I'm still processing what
happened<00:14:10.079> in<00:14:10.240> the<00:14:10.399> book.<00:14:11.360> Yeah.<00:14:11.760> Which<00:14:12.000> brings
happened in the book. Yeah. Which brings
happened in the book. Yeah. Which brings
us<00:14:12.320> to<00:14:12.480> our<00:14:12.639> first<00:14:12.800> topic.<00:14:13.199> Did<00:14:13.440> this<00:14:13.680> author
us to our first topic. Did this author
us to our first topic. Did this author
Did<00:14:14.399> this<00:14:14.560> author<00:14:14.959> gaslight<00:14:15.440> me<00:14:15.600> the<00:14:15.920> entire
Did this author gaslight me the entire
Did this author gaslight me the entire
time?<00:14:17.600> I<00:14:18.800> I<00:14:19.199> felt<00:14:19.440> lied<00:14:19.760> to<00:14:20.000> at<00:14:20.160> the<00:14:20.320> end.<00:14:20.880> Like
time? I I felt lied to at the end. Like
time? I I felt lied to at the end. Like
I<00:14:21.519> was<00:14:22.160> I<00:14:22.480> was<00:14:23.199> I<00:14:23.519> had<00:14:23.680> to<00:14:23.839> reread.<00:14:24.800> There<00:14:25.040> were
I was I was I had to reread. There were
I was I was I had to reread. There were
moments<00:14:25.600> in<00:14:25.839> the<00:14:26.000> book<00:14:26.399> where<00:14:27.360> I<00:14:27.680> was<00:14:27.760> like
moments in the book where I was like
moments in the book where I was like
this<00:14:28.399> this<00:14:28.800> feels<00:14:29.199> off<00:14:30.000> like<00:14:30.240> this<00:14:30.720> this<00:14:31.120> shift
this this feels off like this this shift
this this feels off like this this shift
like<00:14:32.399> something's<00:14:33.600> doesn't<00:14:33.920> add<00:14:34.160> up.
like something's doesn't add up.
like something's doesn't add up.
And<00:14:36.480> at<00:14:36.720> the<00:14:36.880> end<00:14:37.279> all<00:14:37.519> of<00:14:37.600> that<00:14:37.839> makes<00:14:38.000> sense.
And at the end all of that makes sense.
And at the end all of that makes sense.
Like<00:14:38.480> when<00:14:38.720> Aker's<00:14:39.199> sister<00:14:39.760> kept<00:14:40.160> having<00:14:40.480> to
Like when Aker's sister kept having to
Like when Aker's sister kept having to
selfisolate<00:14:42.959> to<00:14:43.279> deal<00:14:43.519> with<00:14:43.839> dealing<00:14:44.320> she<00:14:44.560> can
selfisolate to deal with dealing she can
selfisolate to deal with dealing she can
read<00:14:44.959> people's<00:14:45.279> auras<00:14:45.920> auras
read people's auras auras
read people's auras auras
and<00:14:47.279> every<00:14:47.519> time<00:14:47.600> she<00:14:47.839> was<00:14:47.920> around<00:14:48.240> Joy/Bin
and every time she was around Joy/Bin
and every time she was around Joy/Bin
Brinn<00:14:50.560> was<00:14:50.800> like<00:14:51.440> the<00:14:51.680> girl<00:14:51.839> in<00:14:52.079> Aaha<00:14:52.720> turns
Brinn was like the girl in Aaha turns
Brinn was like the girl in Aaha turns
out<00:14:53.199> her<00:14:53.440> real<00:14:53.680> name<00:14:53.760> is<00:14:53.920> Joy<00:14:54.320> and<00:14:54.480> she's<00:14:54.720> the
out her real name is Joy and she's the
out her real name is Joy and she's the
princess<00:14:55.360> of<00:14:55.680> another<00:14:56.079> kingdom<00:14:56.560> who<00:14:56.800> was
princess of another kingdom who was
princess of another kingdom who was
abducted<00:14:57.519> and<00:14:57.839> raised<00:14:58.079> in<00:14:58.240> Aloha<00:14:59.040> and<00:14:59.279> Aker
abducted and raised in Aloha and Aker
abducted and raised in Aloha and Aker
comes<00:14:59.920> to<00:15:00.079> find<00:15:00.240> her.<00:15:00.959> Turns<00:15:01.120> out<00:15:01.279> they're
comes to find her. Turns out they're
comes to find her. Turns out they're
faded<00:15:01.920> mates<00:15:02.480> which<00:15:03.440> crazy.
faded mates which crazy.
faded mates which crazy.
That's<00:15:04.240> a<00:15:04.399> whole<00:15:04.560> thing.
That's a whole thing.
That's a whole thing.
Yeah.<00:15:05.360> And<00:15:05.519> and<00:15:06.000> then<00:15:06.240> Aker's<00:15:06.800> like,<00:15:07.440> "No,
Yeah. And and then Aker's like, "No,
Yeah. And and then Aker's like, "No,
faded<00:15:08.240> mates<00:15:08.480> are<00:15:08.639> the<00:15:08.720> best."<00:15:09.040> Even<00:15:09.199> though
faded mates are the best." Even though
faded mates are the best." Even though
all<00:15:09.600> the<00:15:09.760> literature<00:15:10.160> he's<00:15:10.399> reading<00:15:10.800> is<00:15:11.120> like,
all the literature he's reading is like,
all the literature he's reading is like,
"Yeah,<00:15:11.519> they<00:15:11.760> hate<00:15:11.920> each<00:15:12.160> other.<00:15:12.800> It's<00:15:13.040> very
"Yeah, they hate each other. It's very
"Yeah, they hate each other. It's very
bad.<00:15:14.000> Don't<00:15:14.240> do<00:15:14.480> it."<00:15:15.199> And<00:15:15.279> he's<00:15:15.519> like,<00:15:15.519> "No,
bad. Don't do it." And he's like, "No,
bad. Don't do it." And he's like, "No,
we're<00:15:16.079> going<00:15:16.160> to<00:15:16.240> make<00:15:16.320> it<00:15:16.560> work.
we're going to make it work.
we're going to make it work.
I'm<00:15:17.839> in<00:15:18.000> love<00:15:18.160> with<00:15:18.320> you.<00:15:18.720> I'm<00:15:18.959> I'm<00:15:19.199> so<00:15:19.360> in
I'm in love with you. I'm I'm so in
I'm in love with you. I'm I'm so in
love."<00:15:19.680> And<00:15:19.839> then<00:15:20.000> his<00:15:20.240> best<00:15:20.480> friend<00:15:21.199> is<00:15:21.519> like,
love." And then his best friend is like,
love." And then his best friend is like,
"I<00:15:22.000> don't<00:15:22.079> know.<00:15:22.399> She<00:15:22.639> seems<00:15:22.959> weird."
"I don't know. She seems weird."
"I don't know. She seems weird."
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She<00:15:24.320> was<00:15:24.480> in<00:15:24.720> love<00:15:24.880> with<00:15:25.120> like
She was in love with like
She was in love with like
other<00:15:27.040> Aloaha,<00:15:27.600> the<00:15:27.839> president,<00:15:28.399> king<00:15:28.639> of
other Aloaha, the president, king of
other Aloaha, the president, king of
Aloha's<00:15:29.600> son,<00:15:30.240> and<00:15:30.480> was<00:15:30.639> about<00:15:30.800> to<00:15:30.959> get
Aloha's son, and was about to get
Aloha's son, and was about to get
married<00:15:31.440> to<00:15:31.600> him.<00:15:32.240> So<00:15:32.959> maybe<00:15:33.199> we<00:15:33.440> should<00:15:34.160> pump
married to him. So maybe we should pump
married to him. So maybe we should pump
the<00:15:34.560> brakes<00:15:34.880> there,<00:15:35.199> friend.<00:15:35.760> And<00:15:36.000> Agra<00:15:36.320> was
the brakes there, friend. And Agra was
the brakes there, friend. And Agra was
like,<00:15:36.560> "Absolutely<00:15:37.199> not."<00:15:37.680> And<00:15:37.839> then<00:15:38.079> his
like, "Absolutely not." And then his
like, "Absolutely not." And then his
sister<00:15:38.639> was<00:15:38.800> like,<00:15:38.880> "I<00:15:39.199> can't<00:15:39.360> be<00:15:39.519> around<00:15:39.760> her
sister was like, "I can't be around her
sister was like, "I can't be around her
cuz<00:15:40.160> her<00:15:40.320> aura<00:15:40.560> is<00:15:40.800> very<00:15:41.040> strong<00:15:41.440> and<00:15:41.680> like
cuz her aura is very strong and like
cuz her aura is very strong and like
yellow,<00:15:42.399> which<00:15:42.639> means<00:15:42.959> like<00:15:44.000> she's<00:15:44.320> lying
yellow, which means like she's lying
yellow, which means like she's lying
about<00:15:44.959> something."<00:15:46.000> But<00:15:46.079> then<00:15:46.320> turns<00:15:46.480> out<00:15:46.639> the
about something." But then turns out the
about something." But then turns out the
sister's<00:15:47.199> also<00:15:47.440> lying<00:15:47.760> about<00:15:48.000> things.<00:15:48.720> So
sister's also lying about things. So
sister's also lying about things. So
everyone<00:15:50.079> lying.<00:15:50.480> Everyone<00:15:50.800> was<00:15:50.880> lying.
everyone lying. Everyone was lying.
everyone lying. Everyone was lying.
Everyone<00:15:51.600> was<00:15:51.839> lying.
Everyone was lying.
Everyone was lying.
I<00:15:53.600> think<00:15:53.759> this<00:15:54.000> is<00:15:54.079> a<00:15:54.320> direct<00:15:54.720> result<00:15:55.120> of<00:15:55.279> the
I think this is a direct result of the
I think this is a direct result of the
impact<00:15:55.839> Sarah<00:15:56.160> J.<00:15:56.399> Moss<00:15:57.120> has<00:15:57.360> had<00:15:57.680> on<00:15:57.920> the
impact Sarah J. Moss has had on the
impact Sarah J. Moss has had on the
fantasy<00:15:58.560> world.<00:15:59.519> And<00:15:59.759> what<00:16:00.240> I<00:16:00.480> love<00:16:00.639> a<00:16:00.880> good
fantasy world. And what I love a good
fantasy world. And what I love a good
twist<00:16:01.279> at<00:16:01.519> the<00:16:01.600> end,<00:16:01.759> but<00:16:01.920> what<00:16:02.079> I<00:16:02.240> didn't<00:16:02.480> like
twist at the end, but what I didn't like
twist at the end, but what I didn't like
about<00:16:02.880> this<00:16:03.120> is<00:16:03.360> it<00:16:03.680> didn't<00:16:04.079> make<00:16:04.480> sense.
about this is it didn't make sense.
about this is it didn't make sense.
No.
No.
No.
Because<00:16:07.279> the<00:16:07.920> and<00:16:08.240> this<00:16:08.399> is<00:16:08.560> this<00:16:08.800> is<00:16:08.880> a
Because the and this is this is a
Because the and this is this is a
literary<00:16:09.519> critique.<00:16:09.920> This<00:16:10.079> isn't<00:16:10.320> a
literary critique. This isn't a
literary critique. This isn't a
counseling<00:16:10.880> critique,<00:16:11.279> but<00:16:11.519> the<00:16:11.839> narration
counseling critique, but the narration
counseling critique, but the narration
was<00:16:14.079> done<00:16:14.480> from<00:16:15.120> Joy's<00:16:15.759> perspective.
was done from Joy's perspective.
was done from Joy's perspective.
So<00:16:18.320> why<00:16:18.480> would<00:16:18.720> Joy<00:16:19.360> not<00:16:19.759> know<00:16:20.000> that<00:16:20.240> she's
So why would Joy not know that she's
So why would Joy not know that she's
lying<00:16:21.199> the<00:16:21.519> entire<00:16:21.920> time,<00:16:22.720> right?<00:16:22.959> Like<00:16:23.199> why
lying the entire time, right? Like why
lying the entire time, right? Like why
wouldn't<00:16:23.759> we<00:16:25.199> be<00:16:26.160> in<00:16:26.560> on<00:16:26.880> that?<00:16:27.279> And<00:16:27.440> that<00:16:27.680> was
wouldn't we be in on that? And that was
wouldn't we be in on that? And that was
my<00:16:28.320> like<00:16:28.800> literary<00:16:29.440> hesitation<00:16:30.320> with<00:16:30.560> this
my like literary hesitation with this
my like literary hesitation with this
and<00:16:31.040> why<00:16:32.399> like<00:16:32.639> great<00:16:32.880> twist.<00:16:33.360> Great<00:16:33.600> great
and why like great twist. Great great
and why like great twist. Great great
twist<00:16:34.240> at<00:16:34.399> the<00:16:34.560> end.
twist at the end.
twist at the end.
It<00:16:35.279> was<00:16:35.360> great.
It was great.
It was great.
It<00:16:36.000> was<00:16:36.079> so<00:16:36.320> good,<00:16:36.639> but<00:16:37.279> also<00:16:37.680> like<00:16:38.480> I<00:16:38.720> hated
It was so good, but also like I hated
It was so good, but also like I hated
it.
it.
it.
Uh<00:16:39.759> yeah,<00:16:40.000> I<00:16:40.240> was<00:16:40.399> like<00:16:40.639> this<00:16:40.800> is<00:16:41.279> this<00:16:41.600> doesn't
Uh yeah, I was like this is this doesn't
Uh yeah, I was like this is this doesn't
make<00:16:42.000> sense.<00:16:43.440> I<00:16:43.680> see<00:16:43.839> what<00:16:44.000> you're<00:16:44.240> trying<00:16:44.320> to
make sense. I see what you're trying to
make sense. I see what you're trying to
do.<00:16:45.440> I<00:16:45.680> love<00:16:45.839> that.<00:16:46.720> I<00:16:46.880> don't<00:16:47.040> think<00:16:47.120> it<00:16:47.279> was
do. I love that. I don't think it was
do. I love that. I don't think it was
well<00:16:48.079> executed.<00:16:48.880> Yeah,<00:16:49.120> it<00:16:49.360> wasn't<00:16:49.519> well
well executed. Yeah, it wasn't well
well executed. Yeah, it wasn't well
executed.<00:16:50.560> But<00:16:50.800> oh<00:16:51.040> my<00:16:51.279> gosh,<00:16:51.600> did<00:16:51.759> it<00:16:51.920> make<00:16:52.079> me
executed. But oh my gosh, did it make me
executed. But oh my gosh, did it make me
want<00:16:52.320> to<00:16:52.399> read<00:16:52.560> the<00:16:52.800> second<00:16:52.959> one.<00:16:53.519> I<00:16:53.759> literally
want to read the second one. I literally
want to read the second one. I literally
had<00:16:54.240> to<00:16:54.399> look<00:16:54.560> up<00:16:54.720> when<00:16:54.880> she's<00:16:55.040> coming<00:16:55.199> out
had to look up when she's coming out
had to look up when she's coming out
with<00:16:55.440> the<00:16:55.600> second<00:16:55.839> one<00:16:56.399> cuz<00:16:56.560> I<00:16:56.720> was<00:16:56.800> like,
with the second one cuz I was like,
with the second one cuz I was like,
there's<00:16:57.279> no<00:16:57.360> way<00:16:57.440> I<00:16:57.680> can<00:16:57.759> wait<00:16:57.920> this<00:16:58.160> long.
there's no way I can wait this long.
there's no way I can wait this long.
When<00:16:58.480> is<00:16:58.639> she<00:16:58.720> coming<00:16:58.880> out<00:16:59.040> with<00:16:59.120> this?
When is she coming out with this?
When is she coming out with this?
I<00:16:59.519> have<00:16:59.600> no<00:16:59.759> clue.<00:17:00.079> It<00:17:00.320> didn't<00:17:00.480> say<00:17:00.560> a<00:17:00.720> date.
I have no clue. It didn't say a date.
I have no clue. It didn't say a date.
Oh,<00:17:01.120> okay.<00:17:01.440> Cool.
Oh, okay. Cool.
Oh, okay. Cool.
This<00:17:02.399> is<00:17:02.639> just<00:17:02.880> like<00:17:03.199> Acatar<00:17:03.839> six<00:17:04.079> book<00:17:04.319> all
This is just like Acatar six book all
This is just like Acatar six book all
over<00:17:04.720> again.
over again.
over again.
Dude,<00:17:05.760> if<00:17:05.919> we<00:17:06.000> can't<00:17:06.160> even<00:17:06.319> talk<00:17:06.480> about<00:17:06.640> that
Dude, if we can't even talk about that
Dude, if we can't even talk about that
book,
book,
book,
I<00:17:08.400> just<00:17:08.559> want<00:17:08.640> to<00:17:08.799> get<00:17:08.959> Azriel's<00:17:09.679> point<00:17:09.839> of
I just want to get Azriel's point of
I just want to get Azriel's point of
view.<00:17:10.240> That's<00:17:10.400> all<00:17:10.559> I<00:17:10.799> care<00:17:10.959> about.
view. That's all I care about.
view. That's all I care about.
I<00:17:12.160> hear<00:17:12.319> you.<00:17:13.039> I<00:17:13.280> see<00:17:13.439> you.<00:17:14.480> I'm<00:17:14.799> clearly<00:17:15.039> a
I hear you. I see you. I'm clearly a
I hear you. I see you. I'm clearly a
Cassian<00:17:15.760> girl.<00:17:16.000> I<00:17:16.240> think<00:17:16.319> Azriel<00:17:17.039> I<00:17:17.199> think
Cassian girl. I think Azriel I think
Cassian girl. I think Azriel I think
Azriel<00:17:17.839> and<00:17:17.919> Aker<00:17:18.319> have<00:17:18.480> a<00:17:18.640> lot<00:17:18.799> in<00:17:18.959> common<00:17:19.360> in
Azriel and Aker have a lot in common in
Azriel and Aker have a lot in common in
that<00:17:19.839> they're<00:17:20.079> both<00:17:20.799> they<00:17:21.120> both<00:17:21.439> feel
that they're both they both feel
that they're both they both feel
entitled<00:17:22.160> to<00:17:22.400> something<00:17:23.280> and<00:17:23.520> they<00:17:23.839> don't
entitled to something and they don't
entitled to something and they don't
understand<00:17:25.600> why<00:17:26.480> and<00:17:26.799> they<00:17:26.959> don't<00:17:27.199> take<00:17:27.360> time
understand why and they don't take time
understand why and they don't take time
to<00:17:27.679> self-reflect<00:17:28.799> and<00:17:28.960> I<00:17:29.200> think<00:17:29.280> if<00:17:29.520> Aker<00:17:30.000> had
to self-reflect and I think if Aker had
to self-reflect and I think if Aker had
self-reflected
self-reflected
self-reflected
he<00:17:32.400> would<00:17:32.640> have<00:17:33.440> not<00:17:33.760> allowed<00:17:34.400> such<00:17:34.720> a<00:17:34.960> big
he would have not allowed such a big
he would have not allowed such a big
betrayal<00:17:36.559> to<00:17:36.799> happen<00:17:37.039> to<00:17:37.200> him.<00:17:38.559> So<00:17:38.880> basically
betrayal to happen to him. So basically
betrayal to happen to him. So basically
what<00:17:39.600> happens<00:17:40.240> if<00:17:40.559> your<00:17:41.360> partner<00:17:41.760> gaslights
what happens if your partner gaslights
what happens if your partner gaslights
you<00:17:42.960> the<00:17:43.280> entire<00:17:43.760> time?<00:17:44.720> Can<00:17:44.960> you<00:17:45.200> can<00:17:45.440> you
you the entire time? Can you can you
you the entire time? Can you can you
come<00:17:45.760> back<00:17:45.919> from<00:17:46.080> that?<00:17:46.640> That's<00:17:46.880> that's
come back from that? That's that's
come back from that? That's that's
that's<00:17:47.520> a<00:17:47.760> counseling<00:17:48.160> question.<00:17:48.559> Can<00:17:48.720> you
that's a counseling question. Can you
that's a counseling question. Can you
come<00:17:49.039> back<00:17:49.200> from<00:17:49.360> that?
come back from that?
come back from that?
I<00:17:50.640> love<00:17:50.799> the<00:17:50.960> answer.<00:17:51.360> It<00:17:51.600> depends.
I love the answer. It depends.
I love the answer. It depends.
It<00:17:52.480> depends.
It depends.
It depends.
So,<00:17:54.480> I<00:17:54.720> would<00:17:54.799> say<00:17:54.960> with<00:17:55.200> these<00:17:55.520> two,<00:17:56.400> a<00:17:56.640> huge
So, I would say with these two, a huge
So, I would say with these two, a huge
rupture<00:17:57.280> has<00:17:57.440> occurred,<00:17:57.840> right?<00:17:58.240> Because
rupture has occurred, right? Because
rupture has occurred, right? Because
Joy,<00:17:59.679> now<00:18:00.000> going<00:18:00.160> by<00:18:00.400> Brin,<00:18:01.039> basically<00:18:01.520> had<00:18:01.679> a
Joy, now going by Brin, basically had a
Joy, now going by Brin, basically had a
full-on<00:18:02.240> unspoken<00:18:02.799> agenda<00:18:03.280> the<00:18:03.520> entire
full-on unspoken agenda the entire
full-on unspoken agenda the entire
relationship.
relationship.
relationship.
And<00:18:07.039> so<00:18:07.280> the<00:18:07.600> foundation<00:18:08.000> of<00:18:08.160> their
And so the foundation of their
And so the foundation of their
relationship,<00:18:09.280> what<00:18:09.520> should<00:18:09.679> have<00:18:09.840> been
relationship, what should have been
relationship, what should have been
built<00:18:10.240> on<00:18:10.640> trust<00:18:10.960> and<00:18:11.280> understanding<00:18:11.760> and
built on trust and understanding and
built on trust and understanding and
getting<00:18:12.240> to<00:18:12.480> know<00:18:12.640> someone
getting to know someone
getting to know someone
was<00:18:14.400> built<00:18:14.559> on<00:18:14.799> lies
was built on lies
was built on lies
and<00:18:15.919> manipulation
and manipulation
and manipulation
and<00:18:16.799> manipulation.<00:18:18.240> And<00:18:18.480> so<00:18:19.840> if<00:18:20.160> I<00:18:20.320> were<00:18:20.480> to
and manipulation. And so if I were to
and manipulation. And so if I were to
apply<00:18:21.120> act<00:18:21.440> in<00:18:21.600> a<00:18:21.760> couple's
apply act in a couple's
apply act in a couple's
place<00:18:23.760> or<00:18:24.000> like<00:18:24.160> in<00:18:24.320> couples<00:18:24.720> counseling,
place or like in couples counseling,
place or like in couples counseling,
I<00:18:26.559> think<00:18:26.640> it<00:18:26.880> would<00:18:27.039> be<00:18:27.360> starting<00:18:27.760> with<00:18:28.000> as<00:18:28.240> a
I think it would be starting with as a
I think it would be starting with as a
couple,<00:18:29.280> what<00:18:29.520> do<00:18:29.679> you<00:18:29.840> value?
couple, what do you value?
couple, what do you value?
Because<00:18:32.080> Aker<00:18:32.559> really<00:18:32.880> valued<00:18:34.080> the
Because Aker really valued the
Because Aker really valued the
relationship.
relationship.
relationship.
the<00:18:36.400> idea<00:18:36.640> of<00:18:36.799> like<00:18:38.080> love<00:18:38.720> and<00:18:39.280> protection<00:18:39.919> and
the idea of like love and protection and
the idea of like love and protection and
leadership<00:18:40.960> and<00:18:41.360> safety.
leadership and safety.
leadership and safety.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What<00:18:42.960> he<00:18:43.200> didn't<00:18:43.360> recognize<00:18:43.760> is<00:18:43.919> Joy<00:18:44.400> really
What he didn't recognize is Joy really
What he didn't recognize is Joy really
values<00:18:45.039> freedom<00:18:45.919> and<00:18:46.240> independence
values freedom and independence
values freedom and independence
and<00:18:48.080> she<00:18:48.640> she<00:18:49.039> couldn't<00:18:49.280> have<00:18:49.440> that
and she she couldn't have that
and she she couldn't have that
with<00:18:51.520> with<00:18:52.000> Aker<00:18:52.720> and<00:18:53.679> she's<00:18:54.080> looking<00:18:54.240> at<00:18:54.400> this
with with Aker and she's looking at this
with with Aker and she's looking at this
bigger<00:18:54.880> picture<00:18:55.200> of<00:18:55.440> like<00:18:56.559> a<00:18:57.039> your<00:18:57.280> kingdom<00:18:57.760> is
bigger picture of like a your kingdom is
bigger picture of like a your kingdom is
suppressing<00:18:59.200> everyone<00:18:59.679> else.<00:19:00.000> Like<00:19:00.240> your<00:19:00.480> dad
suppressing everyone else. Like your dad
suppressing everyone else. Like your dad
sucks
sucks
sucks
and<00:19:03.120> I'mma<00:19:03.520> fight<00:19:03.760> him.<00:19:04.799> So,<00:19:05.440> just<00:19:05.679> starting
and I'mma fight him. So, just starting
and I'mma fight him. So, just starting
off<00:19:06.160> with<00:19:06.320> that<00:19:06.559> honest<00:19:06.960> conversation<00:19:07.600> of
off with that honest conversation of
off with that honest conversation of
your<00:19:08.640> dad<00:19:08.880> sucks<00:19:09.440> and<00:19:09.679> I<00:19:09.919> want<00:19:10.000> to<00:19:10.080> be<00:19:10.240> free<00:19:10.720> and
your dad sucks and I want to be free and
your dad sucks and I want to be free and
Acura<00:19:11.440> being<00:19:11.679> like,
Acura being like,
Acura being like,
"No,
"No,
"No,
I<00:19:12.960> love<00:19:13.039> my<00:19:13.280> dad<00:19:14.080> and<00:19:14.640> I<00:19:14.960> want<00:19:15.120> to<00:19:15.200> protect<00:19:15.440> you
I love my dad and I want to protect you
I love my dad and I want to protect you
at<00:19:15.840> all<00:19:16.000> costs<00:19:16.240> in<00:19:16.480> all<00:19:16.640> times<00:19:16.880> and<00:19:17.120> have<00:19:17.200> you
at all costs in all times and have you
at all costs in all times and have you
in<00:19:17.520> my<00:19:17.679> life<00:19:18.000> 24/7."
in my life 24/7."
in my life 24/7."
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I<00:19:19.600> thought<00:19:19.760> he<00:19:19.919> was<00:19:20.160> really<00:19:20.559> protective
I thought he was really protective
I thought he was really protective
fairly<00:19:21.919> quick
fairly quick
fairly quick
in<00:19:23.200> the<00:19:23.360> book.<00:19:23.760> I<00:19:24.000> think<00:19:24.640> like<00:19:24.880> when<00:19:25.120> she
in the book. I think like when she
in the book. I think like when she
needed<00:19:25.520> to<00:19:25.600> use<00:19:25.760> the<00:19:25.919> restroom<00:19:26.320> when<00:19:26.480> they
needed to use the restroom when they
needed to use the restroom when they
were<00:19:26.720> in<00:19:26.880> the<00:19:27.039> forest<00:19:27.600> and<00:19:27.919> she<00:19:28.160> was<00:19:28.240> like,
were in the forest and she was like,
were in the forest and she was like,
"I'm<00:19:28.640> just<00:19:28.799> going<00:19:28.880> to<00:19:28.960> be<00:19:29.039> a<00:19:29.200> couple<00:19:29.360> minutes."
"I'm just going to be a couple minutes."
"I'm just going to be a couple minutes."
He<00:19:29.679> was<00:19:29.760> like,<00:19:29.760> "Well,<00:19:30.000> let<00:19:30.160> me<00:19:30.240> go<00:19:30.320> with<00:19:30.480> you."
He was like, "Well, let me go with you."
He was like, "Well, let me go with you."
And<00:19:31.520> I<00:19:31.679> was<00:19:31.760> like,<00:19:31.760> "Dude,<00:19:32.720> chill."<00:19:33.360> Yeah.
And I was like, "Dude, chill." Yeah.
And I was like, "Dude, chill." Yeah.
Although<00:19:35.200> it<00:19:35.360> did<00:19:35.600> turn<00:19:35.760> out<00:19:35.919> to<00:19:36.080> be
Although it did turn out to be
Although it did turn out to be
it<00:19:37.039> was<00:19:37.200> really<00:19:37.600> a<00:19:37.919> good<00:19:38.080> idea<00:19:38.640> that<00:19:38.960> he<00:19:39.200> did
it was really a good idea that he did
it was really a good idea that he did
go.
go.
go.
But<00:19:40.960> then<00:19:41.039> it<00:19:41.200> was<00:19:41.360> also<00:19:42.320> I<00:19:42.480> think<00:19:42.559> when<00:19:42.799> she
But then it was also I think when she
But then it was also I think when she
was<00:19:43.039> starting<00:19:43.280> to<00:19:43.440> discover<00:19:43.760> her<00:19:44.080> powers<00:19:44.640> and
was starting to discover her powers and
was starting to discover her powers and
he<00:19:45.919> was<00:19:46.000> like<00:19:46.240> you<00:19:46.480> need<00:19:46.559> to<00:19:46.720> learn<00:19:46.880> to<00:19:47.039> control
he was like you need to learn to control
he was like you need to learn to control
it<00:19:47.440> cuz<00:19:47.600> it<00:19:47.760> looks<00:19:47.919> like<00:19:48.080> I<00:19:48.320> can't<00:19:48.480> control
it cuz it looks like I can't control
it cuz it looks like I can't control
you.<00:19:49.120> And<00:19:49.280> she<00:19:49.520> was<00:19:49.679> like<00:19:49.919> you<00:19:50.240> can't<00:19:51.120> facts
you. And she was like you can't facts
you. And she was like you can't facts
fact.<00:19:52.559> She<00:19:52.720> was<00:19:52.799> like<00:19:53.039> you<00:19:53.280> don't<00:19:53.440> control<00:19:53.840> me.
fact. She was like you don't control me.
fact. She was like you don't control me.
when<00:19:55.120> he<00:19:55.440> finally<00:19:55.840> got<00:19:56.080> her<00:19:56.320> through<00:19:56.480> the
when he finally got her through the
when he finally got her through the
forest<00:19:57.360> and<00:19:57.919> into<00:19:58.320> that<00:19:58.559> like<00:19:58.880> camp,<00:19:59.919> she<00:20:00.160> like
forest and into that like camp, she like
forest and into that like camp, she like
barged<00:20:00.799> in<00:20:00.960> to<00:20:01.120> tell<00:20:01.200> him<00:20:01.440> something<00:20:02.080> and<00:20:02.320> he
barged in to tell him something and he
barged in to tell him something and he
was<00:20:02.640> like,<00:20:02.799> "You<00:20:03.039> can't<00:20:03.200> talk<00:20:03.360> to<00:20:03.520> me<00:20:03.600> that<00:20:03.760> way
was like, "You can't talk to me that way
was like, "You can't talk to me that way
in<00:20:04.160> front<00:20:04.320> of<00:20:04.400> my<00:20:04.640> men."
in front of my men."
in front of my men."
I<00:20:06.080> was<00:20:06.240> like,<00:20:06.480> "She<00:20:06.880> can<00:20:06.960> talk<00:20:07.120> to<00:20:07.280> you<00:20:07.520> however
I was like, "She can talk to you however
I was like, "She can talk to you however
she<00:20:08.000> wants."<00:20:08.559> Yeah.<00:20:09.039> Like,<00:20:09.679> but<00:20:10.320> also<00:20:10.720> I<00:20:11.039> think
she wants." Yeah. Like, but also I think
she wants." Yeah. Like, but also I think
interestingly<00:20:12.400> enough,<00:20:13.600> Brin
interestingly enough, Brin
interestingly enough, Brin
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
is<00:20:15.360> very<00:20:15.600> perceptive.
is very perceptive.
is very perceptive.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
And<00:20:17.440> she<00:20:17.760> saw<00:20:18.160> how<00:20:18.640> Aker<00:20:19.120> wanted<00:20:19.440> her<00:20:19.679> to
And she saw how Aker wanted her to
And she saw how Aker wanted her to
behave<00:20:21.200> and<00:20:21.440> she<00:20:21.840> purposely<00:20:22.480> integrated
behave and she purposely integrated
behave and she purposely integrated
herself<00:20:23.679> into<00:20:24.000> his<00:20:24.320> life<00:20:24.559> and<00:20:24.880> changed<00:20:25.280> her
herself into his life and changed her
herself into his life and changed her
behaviors<00:20:26.640> and<00:20:26.960> used<00:20:27.360> his<00:20:27.679> own<00:20:28.000> wishes
behaviors and used his own wishes
behaviors and used his own wishes
against<00:20:29.679> him<00:20:30.000> to<00:20:30.240> like<00:20:30.960> build<00:20:31.280> that<00:20:31.520> trust.
against him to like build that trust.
against him to like build that trust.
And<00:20:32.159> that's<00:20:32.480> where<00:20:32.720> the<00:20:32.960> betrayal<00:20:33.440> is<00:20:33.679> so<00:20:35.120> hard
And that's where the betrayal is so hard
And that's where the betrayal is so hard
because
because
because
can<00:20:37.520> you<00:20:37.679> trust<00:20:37.919> your<00:20:38.159> partner<00:20:38.799> who<00:20:40.159> has
can you trust your partner who has
can you trust your partner who has
manipulated<00:20:41.200> you<00:20:42.000> so<00:20:43.360> much?<00:20:43.760> And<00:20:44.000> I<00:20:44.159> think
manipulated you so much? And I think
manipulated you so much? And I think
then<00:20:44.640> that<00:20:44.960> goes<00:20:45.200> into
then that goes into
then that goes into
using<00:20:47.840> ACT<00:20:48.320> to<00:20:48.720> set<00:20:48.960> a<00:20:49.120> boundary.
using ACT to set a boundary.
using ACT to set a boundary.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Of
Of
Of
are<00:20:52.320> we<00:20:52.559> making<00:20:52.880> choices?<00:20:53.360> Are<00:20:53.520> we<00:20:53.679> we're<00:20:53.919> at<00:20:54.080> a
are we making choices? Are we we're at a
are we making choices? Are we we're at a
choice<00:20:54.400> point?<00:20:54.640> And<00:20:54.720> I'll<00:20:54.880> I'll<00:20:55.200> talk<00:20:55.280> about
choice point? And I'll I'll talk about
choice point? And I'll I'll talk about
that<00:20:55.679> later,<00:20:55.840> but<00:20:56.080> we're<00:20:56.320> we're<00:20:56.480> at<00:20:56.640> a<00:20:56.799> choice
that later, but we're we're at a choice
that later, but we're we're at a choice
point.<00:20:57.200> Are<00:20:57.360> we<00:20:57.520> making<00:20:57.760> choices<00:20:58.000> that<00:20:58.240> move
point. Are we making choices that move
point. Are we making choices that move
us<00:20:59.039> towards<00:20:59.440> the<00:20:59.679> couple<00:20:59.919> we<00:21:00.159> want<00:21:00.240> to<00:21:00.400> be<00:21:01.280> or
us towards the couple we want to be or
us towards the couple we want to be or
away<00:21:02.080> from<00:21:02.240> the<00:21:02.480> couple<00:21:02.720> we<00:21:02.960> want<00:21:03.039> to<00:21:03.200> be?<00:21:03.760> So,
away from the couple we want to be? So,
away from the couple we want to be? So,
are<00:21:05.520> you<00:21:05.679> taking<00:21:05.919> those<00:21:06.240> committed<00:21:06.559> actions
are you taking those committed actions
are you taking those committed actions
to<00:21:07.120> telling<00:21:07.360> the<00:21:07.600> truth
to telling the truth
to telling the truth
and<00:21:09.200> valuing<00:21:09.600> this<00:21:09.840> relationship<00:21:10.400> above<00:21:10.799> us
and valuing this relationship above us
and valuing this relationship above us
as<00:21:11.280> individuals<00:21:12.640> or<00:21:13.200> are<00:21:13.440> you<00:21:13.600> going<00:21:13.760> to<00:21:13.919> value
as individuals or are you going to value
as individuals or are you going to value
maybe<00:21:16.320> society<00:21:17.360> above<00:21:17.679> the<00:21:17.919> relationship,
maybe society above the relationship,
maybe society above the relationship,
the<00:21:18.799> rebellion?
the rebellion?
the rebellion?
So,<00:21:21.840> I<00:21:22.000> mean<00:21:22.159> like<00:21:22.320> there's<00:21:22.480> a<00:21:22.640> bigger<00:21:22.880> picture
So, I mean like there's a bigger picture
So, I mean like there's a bigger picture
and<00:21:23.360> I<00:21:23.520> think<00:21:23.679> she<00:21:23.919> chose<00:21:24.400> the<00:21:24.720> bigger
and I think she chose the bigger
and I think she chose the bigger
picture.<00:21:25.840> did
picture. did
picture. did
and<00:21:26.880> I<00:21:27.280> I<00:21:27.600> mean<00:21:27.679> that<00:21:28.159> sucks<00:21:28.640> for<00:21:28.880> him<00:21:29.200> but<00:21:29.520> also
and I I mean that sucks for him but also
and I I mean that sucks for him but also
I<00:21:30.880> think<00:21:31.120> sometimes<00:21:31.520> those<00:21:31.760> are<00:21:31.919> good
I think sometimes those are good
I think sometimes those are good
characteristics<00:21:32.720> of<00:21:32.880> of<00:21:33.360> leadership.
characteristics of of leadership.
characteristics of of leadership.
Yeah.<00:21:34.720> Which<00:21:35.039> then<00:21:35.280> brings<00:21:35.600> me<00:21:35.760> to<00:21:35.919> my<00:21:36.159> next
Yeah. Which then brings me to my next
Yeah. Which then brings me to my next
one<00:21:37.039> of<00:21:37.120> my<00:21:38.080> bigger<00:21:38.559> points<00:21:39.840> is<00:21:41.039> I<00:21:41.280> think<00:21:41.520> Aker
one of my bigger points is I think Aker
one of my bigger points is I think Aker
himself
himself
himself
at<00:21:44.320> the<00:21:44.400> end<00:21:44.640> really<00:21:44.960> needs<00:21:45.120> to<00:21:45.280> learn<00:21:45.520> to
at the end really needs to learn to
at the end really needs to learn to
protect<00:21:46.000> his<00:21:46.240> peace<00:21:46.559> but<00:21:46.880> also<00:21:47.120> really<00:21:47.360> needs
protect his peace but also really needs
protect his peace but also really needs
to<00:21:47.840> understand<00:21:48.159> what<00:21:48.400> it<00:21:48.559> is<00:21:48.799> he<00:21:49.120> actually
to understand what it is he actually
to understand what it is he actually
values
values
values
because<00:21:51.679> throughout<00:21:52.080> the<00:21:52.480> book<00:21:52.960> I<00:21:53.280> felt<00:21:53.679> like
because throughout the book I felt like
because throughout the book I felt like
he<00:21:54.720> valued<00:21:55.200> being<00:21:55.679> perceived<00:21:56.320> as<00:21:56.640> a<00:21:56.880> leader
he valued being perceived as a leader
he valued being perceived as a leader
and<00:21:57.440> people<00:21:57.840> relying<00:21:58.320> on<00:21:58.559> him.
and people relying on him.
and people relying on him.
Yeah.<00:21:59.919> But<00:22:00.080> I<00:22:00.320> don't<00:22:00.559> think<00:22:00.640> he<00:22:00.960> actually
Yeah. But I don't think he actually
Yeah. But I don't think he actually
knows<00:22:01.840> what<00:22:03.120> what<00:22:03.360> it<00:22:03.600> takes<00:22:03.840> to<00:22:04.080> be<00:22:04.400> a<00:22:04.640> good
knows what what it takes to be a good
knows what what it takes to be a good
leader.
leader.
leader.
Yeah.<00:22:07.039> So,<00:22:08.240> this<00:22:08.400> is<00:22:08.559> where<00:22:08.720> I<00:22:08.880> would
Yeah. So, this is where I would
Yeah. So, this is where I would
implement<00:22:09.520> ACT<00:22:09.919> choice<00:22:10.240> points.
implement ACT choice points.
implement ACT choice points.
Love<00:22:12.320> that<00:22:12.960> for<00:22:13.200> for<00:22:13.280> for<00:22:13.840> him.<00:22:14.880> Um,<00:22:15.200> but
Love that for for for him. Um, but
Love that for for for him. Um, but
basically<00:22:16.480> a<00:22:16.799> choice<00:22:17.120> point<00:22:17.600> is<00:22:17.840> a<00:22:18.000> tool<00:22:18.159> that
basically a choice point is a tool that
basically a choice point is a tool that
you<00:22:18.480> would<00:22:18.640> use<00:22:18.799> in<00:22:19.039> counseling<00:22:20.400> as<00:22:20.640> a<00:22:20.880> person.
you would use in counseling as a person.
you would use in counseling as a person.
you<00:22:21.360> would<00:22:21.600> start<00:22:21.760> to<00:22:22.000> recognize
you would start to recognize
you would start to recognize
where<00:22:24.159> can<00:22:24.320> I<00:22:24.480> take<00:22:24.799> committed<00:22:25.200> actions<00:22:25.760> that
where can I take committed actions that
where can I take committed actions that
move<00:22:26.480> me<00:22:26.799> towards
move me towards
move me towards
values<00:22:28.799> or<00:22:29.039> my<00:22:29.200> ideal<00:22:29.840> person.
values or my ideal person.
values or my ideal person.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
And<00:22:33.200> where<00:22:33.760> am<00:22:34.000> I<00:22:35.200> taking<00:22:35.440> the<00:22:35.679> actions<00:22:36.080> that
And where am I taking the actions that
And where am I taking the actions that
move<00:22:36.559> me<00:22:37.440> away<00:22:37.760> from<00:22:38.000> them<00:22:38.320> where<00:22:38.480> I'm<00:22:38.720> hooked
move me away from them where I'm hooked
move me away from them where I'm hooked
into<00:22:39.679> these<00:22:40.000> thoughts,<00:22:40.400> these<00:22:40.640> feelings<00:22:40.960> and
into these thoughts, these feelings and
into these thoughts, these feelings and
sensations<00:22:42.320> that<00:22:42.640> aren't<00:22:43.039> making<00:22:43.280> me
sensations that aren't making me
sensations that aren't making me
the<00:22:45.919> person<00:22:46.080> that<00:22:46.320> I<00:22:46.480> want<00:22:46.559> to<00:22:46.720> be.<00:22:47.120> So<00:22:47.360> I<00:22:47.600> think
the person that I want to be. So I think
the person that I want to be. So I think
for<00:22:48.000> him<00:22:48.320> he<00:22:48.559> really<00:22:48.799> wants<00:22:49.039> to<00:22:49.280> be<00:22:49.360> a<00:22:49.600> good
for him he really wants to be a good
for him he really wants to be a good
leader.<00:22:50.240> Yeah.
leader. Yeah.
leader. Yeah.
And<00:22:51.039> he<00:22:51.280> says<00:22:51.440> that<00:22:51.600> all<00:22:51.760> the<00:22:51.919> time<00:22:52.000> when
And he says that all the time when
And he says that all the time when
they're<00:22:52.559> visiting<00:22:52.880> the<00:22:53.120> couple<00:22:54.080> who<00:22:54.400> are<00:22:54.640> also
they're visiting the couple who are also
they're visiting the couple who are also
faded<00:22:55.760> mates<00:22:56.720> and<00:22:57.039> when<00:22:57.200> he's<00:22:57.440> talking<00:22:57.679> to<00:22:57.840> his
faded mates and when he's talking to his
faded mates and when he's talking to his
best<00:22:58.240> friends<00:22:58.480> like<00:22:58.720> he<00:22:58.960> wants<00:22:59.200> to<00:22:59.760> take<00:23:00.000> over
best friends like he wants to take over
best friends like he wants to take over
from<00:23:00.400> his<00:23:00.640> father<00:23:00.799> and<00:23:01.120> make<00:23:01.360> changes<00:23:01.760> to<00:23:01.919> the
from his father and make changes to the
from his father and make changes to the
kingdom<00:23:02.480> and<00:23:02.720> be<00:23:02.880> more<00:23:03.120> equitable,<00:23:03.679> be<00:23:03.840> a<00:23:04.000> good
kingdom and be more equitable, be a good
kingdom and be more equitable, be a good
leader,<00:23:04.640> care<00:23:04.880> for<00:23:05.120> his<00:23:05.360> people.<00:23:05.679> That's<00:23:05.919> very
leader, care for his people. That's very
leader, care for his people. That's very
important<00:23:06.400> to<00:23:06.640> him.<00:23:08.080> But<00:23:08.240> the<00:23:08.559> entire<00:23:08.880> book,
important to him. But the entire book,
important to him. But the entire book,
he<00:23:10.000> has<00:23:10.320> taken<00:23:10.799> all<00:23:10.960> of<00:23:11.120> these<00:23:11.440> sensations<00:23:12.000> and
he has taken all of these sensations and
he has taken all of these sensations and
inputs<00:23:12.640> and<00:23:12.960> experiences
inputs and experiences
inputs and experiences
and<00:23:14.720> has<00:23:14.960> been<00:23:15.120> so<00:23:15.360> wrapped<00:23:15.600> up<00:23:15.679> in<00:23:15.919> his<00:23:16.080> own
and has been so wrapped up in his own
and has been so wrapped up in his own
wants<00:23:16.640> and<00:23:16.799> needs<00:23:17.280> in<00:23:17.520> this<00:23:17.760> relationship
wants and needs in this relationship
wants and needs in this relationship
with<00:23:18.480> Joy<00:23:19.039> and<00:23:19.280> having<00:23:20.000> someone<00:23:20.320> just
with Joy and having someone just
with Joy and having someone just
unequivocally<00:23:22.000> in<00:23:22.240> love<00:23:22.400> with<00:23:22.559> him,<00:23:22.799> which
unequivocally in love with him, which
unequivocally in love with him, which
could<00:23:23.280> stem<00:23:23.600> from<00:23:23.840> his<00:23:24.080> mommy<00:23:24.480> issues<00:23:24.880> and<00:23:25.120> his
could stem from his mommy issues and his
could stem from his mommy issues and his
mom<00:23:25.520> abandoning<00:23:26.240> him<00:23:26.559> and<00:23:27.120> his<00:23:27.360> dad<00:23:27.600> raising
mom abandoning him and his dad raising
mom abandoning him and his dad raising
him<00:23:28.000> and<00:23:28.240> totally<00:23:28.480> lying<00:23:28.720> to<00:23:28.880> him<00:23:29.039> forever<00:23:29.440> and
him and totally lying to him forever and
him and totally lying to him forever and
like<00:23:30.080> feeling<00:23:30.400> like<00:23:30.559> he<00:23:30.720> has<00:23:30.799> no<00:23:30.960> one<00:23:31.039> who
like feeling like he has no one who
like feeling like he has no one who
trusts<00:23:31.520> him<00:23:31.679> and<00:23:31.840> needing
trusts him and needing
trusts him and needing
stems<00:23:33.120> from<00:23:33.840> parental<00:23:34.320> issues.
stems from parental issues.
stems from parental issues.
Always<00:23:35.360> always<00:23:35.679> the<00:23:35.919> parents.
Always always the parents.
Always always the parents.
Always<00:23:36.559> the<00:23:36.799> parents.<00:23:37.360> It's<00:23:37.520> where<00:23:37.679> it
Always the parents. It's where it
Always the parents. It's where it
starts.
starts.
starts.
It's<00:23:38.480> where<00:23:38.640> it<00:23:38.799> starts.<00:23:39.200> Raise<00:23:39.440> your<00:23:39.679> kids.
It's where it starts. Raise your kids.
It's where it starts. Raise your kids.
Love<00:23:40.320> your<00:23:40.559> kids.<00:23:41.200> Don't<00:23:41.440> abandon<00:23:41.919> your<00:23:42.080> kids.
Love your kids. Don't abandon your kids.
Love your kids. Don't abandon your kids.
Learn<00:23:42.799> about<00:23:43.039> parenting<00:23:43.600> styles.
Learn about parenting styles.
Learn about parenting styles.
Learn<00:23:44.480> about<00:23:45.120> Learn<00:23:45.440> about<00:23:45.679> attachment
Learn about Learn about attachment
Learn about Learn about attachment
styles.<00:23:47.360> That's<00:23:47.520> all<00:23:47.760> I'm<00:23:48.000> saying.<00:23:48.799> These
styles. That's all I'm saying. These
styles. That's all I'm saying. These
kids<00:23:49.360> attach.
kids attach.
kids attach.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Honestly,<00:23:51.520> most<00:23:51.679> of<00:23:51.840> counseling<00:23:52.240> is<00:23:52.559> just
Honestly, most of counseling is just
Honestly, most of counseling is just
reparing<00:23:53.919> yourself.
reparing yourself.
reparing yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Making<00:23:56.080> the<00:23:56.400> tough<00:23:56.640> choices
Making the tough choices
Making the tough choices
that<00:23:58.559> weren't<00:23:58.880> always<00:23:59.200> demonstrated<00:23:59.840> for
that weren't always demonstrated for
that weren't always demonstrated for
you.
you.
you.
And<00:24:01.840> he<00:24:02.000> he<00:24:02.320> didn't<00:24:02.559> have<00:24:02.880> those<00:24:03.200> choices
And he he didn't have those choices
And he he didn't have those choices
demonstrated<00:24:04.240> for<00:24:04.480> him.<00:24:04.799> So<00:24:05.039> he<00:24:05.280> was<00:24:05.440> choosing
demonstrated for him. So he was choosing
demonstrated for him. So he was choosing
his<00:24:07.039> idea<00:24:07.440> of<00:24:07.679> love
his idea of love
his idea of love
over<00:24:10.480> listening<00:24:11.039> to<00:24:11.360> everyone<00:24:12.000> who<00:24:13.120> said,
over listening to everyone who said,
over listening to everyone who said,
"Pause,<00:24:14.559> wait,<00:24:15.440> this<00:24:15.679> is<00:24:15.840> the<00:24:16.080> information
"Pause, wait, this is the information
"Pause, wait, this is the information
you<00:24:16.799> need<00:24:16.960> to<00:24:17.200> be<00:24:17.360> able<00:24:17.520> to<00:24:17.679> do<00:24:17.840> the<00:24:18.080> things<00:24:18.240> you
you need to be able to do the things you
you need to be able to do the things you
want<00:24:18.559> to<00:24:18.720> do."<00:24:18.960> So<00:24:19.120> I<00:24:19.279> would<00:24:19.360> I<00:24:19.600> would<00:24:19.760> use<00:24:19.840> that
want to do." So I would I would use that
want to do." So I would I would use that
tool<00:24:20.240> with<00:24:20.400> him.<00:24:21.440> I<00:24:21.600> think<00:24:21.760> that's<00:24:21.919> a<00:24:22.080> good
tool with him. I think that's a good
tool with him. I think that's a good
one.
one.
one.
And<00:24:24.000> then<00:24:24.240> but<00:24:24.400> I<00:24:24.559> I<00:24:24.799> think<00:24:24.880> he's<00:24:25.120> also<00:24:25.360> kind<00:24:25.440> of
And then but I I think he's also kind of
And then but I I think he's also kind of
hotheaded
hotheaded
hotheaded
for<00:24:27.440> sure.<00:24:28.320> Maybe<00:24:28.480> it's<00:24:28.640> the<00:24:28.799> nose<00:24:29.039> ring.
I<00:24:32.400> just<00:24:32.559> haven't<00:24:32.880> I<00:24:33.120> haven't<00:24:33.360> read<00:24:33.440> a<00:24:33.600> book
I just haven't I haven't read a book
I just haven't I haven't read a book
where<00:24:34.080> someone<00:24:34.320> had<00:24:34.480> a<00:24:34.640> nose<00:24:34.880> ring<00:24:35.200> in<00:24:35.360> a<00:24:35.520> long
where someone had a nose ring in a long
where someone had a nose ring in a long
time.
time.
time.
Me,<00:24:36.400> too.<00:24:36.880> And<00:24:37.039> I<00:24:37.200> normally<00:24:37.440> don't<00:24:37.600> find<00:24:37.760> them
Me, too. And I normally don't find them
Me, too. And I normally don't find them
attractive<00:24:38.720> on<00:24:38.880> men.
attractive on men.
attractive on men.
Oh,<00:24:39.600> no.<00:24:39.840> I'm<00:24:40.000> a<00:24:40.240> sucker<00:24:40.480> for<00:24:40.559> a<00:24:40.799> nose<00:24:41.039> ring.
Oh, no. I'm a sucker for a nose ring.
Oh, no. I'm a sucker for a nose ring.
Not<00:24:41.919> a<00:24:42.080> septum,<00:24:42.640> though.<00:24:42.880> I<00:24:43.039> don't<00:24:43.120> like
Not a septum, though. I don't like
Not a septum, though. I don't like
septum<00:24:43.600> piercings.
septum piercings.
septum piercings.
Just<00:24:44.240> like<00:24:44.400> the
Just like the
Just like the
Oh,<00:24:45.279> yeah.<00:24:46.000> Oh,<00:24:46.320> yeah.<00:24:47.679> Oh,<00:24:48.000> yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Not<00:24:50.400> the<00:24:50.559> Midwestern<00:24:51.279> coming<00:24:51.520> out.
Not the Midwestern coming out.
Not the Midwestern coming out.
Oh,<00:24:52.720> yeah.<00:24:53.039> You<00:24:53.200> know<00:24:53.360> it.
No<00:24:57.120> one<00:24:57.279> has<00:24:57.600> nose<00:24:57.919> piercing<00:24:58.320> up<00:24:58.480> there.
No one has nose piercing up there.
No one has nose piercing up there.
Oh,<00:25:00.480> we<00:25:00.720> know.
Oh, we know.
Oh, we know.
I<00:25:02.880> think<00:25:02.960> it<00:25:03.200> very<00:25:03.520> much<00:25:03.760> took<00:25:04.000> on,
I think it very much took on,
I think it very much took on,
you<00:25:05.679> know,<00:25:05.760> that<00:25:06.080> saying<00:25:06.400> where<00:25:06.640> it's<00:25:06.880> like
you know, that saying where it's like
you know, that saying where it's like
the<00:25:08.480> hero<00:25:09.120> would,<00:25:09.760> you<00:25:09.919> know,<00:25:10.240> let<00:25:10.480> you<00:25:11.039> burn
the hero would, you know, let you burn
the hero would, you know, let you burn
to<00:25:11.520> save<00:25:11.760> the<00:25:12.000> world,<00:25:12.240> whereas<00:25:12.480> in<00:25:12.720> like<00:25:12.799> a
to save the world, whereas in like a
to save the world, whereas in like a
villain<00:25:13.440> would<00:25:13.679> burn<00:25:13.919> the<00:25:14.159> world<00:25:14.320> to<00:25:14.559> save
villain would burn the world to save
villain would burn the world to save
you.
you.
you.
Oh<00:25:15.840> my<00:25:16.000> gosh,<00:25:16.240> that's<00:25:16.559> tattooed<00:25:17.039> on<00:25:17.279> every
Oh my gosh, that's tattooed on every
Oh my gosh, that's tattooed on every
Butury's<00:25:19.039> brain.<00:25:19.840> Yes.<00:25:20.640> But<00:25:20.799> I<00:25:21.039> think<00:25:21.200> it's
Butury's brain. Yes. But I think it's
Butury's brain. Yes. But I think it's
and<00:25:21.919> I'm<00:25:22.159> not<00:25:22.320> calling,<00:25:22.880> you<00:25:23.039> know,<00:25:23.279> Aker<00:25:23.760> a
and I'm not calling, you know, Aker a
and I'm not calling, you know, Aker a
villain,<00:25:24.400> but<00:25:24.640> it's<00:25:24.880> kind<00:25:25.039> of<00:25:25.120> like<00:25:25.440> he's
villain, but it's kind of like he's
villain, but it's kind of like he's
willing<00:25:26.559> I<00:25:26.720> think<00:25:26.799> he'd<00:25:27.039> be<00:25:27.200> willing<00:25:27.360> to
willing I think he'd be willing to
willing I think he'd be willing to
sacrifice<00:25:27.919> a<00:25:28.159> lot
sacrifice a lot
sacrifice a lot
to<00:25:29.360> end<00:25:29.520> up<00:25:29.679> with<00:25:29.840> Joy.
to end up with Joy.
to end up with Joy.
He<00:25:30.880> did.
He did.
He did.
He<00:25:31.440> did.
He did.
He did.
He<00:25:32.000> sacrificed<00:25:32.720> so<00:25:33.120> much.<00:25:33.520> And<00:25:33.679> I<00:25:33.840> think<00:25:34.000> Joy's
He sacrificed so much. And I think Joy's
He sacrificed so much. And I think Joy's
like,<00:25:34.799> "No,<00:25:35.360> this<00:25:35.600> is<00:25:36.080> this<00:25:36.400> is<00:25:36.480> a<00:25:36.720> bigger
like, "No, this is this is a bigger
like, "No, this is this is a bigger
picture.<00:25:37.360> Like<00:25:37.600> I<00:25:37.919> did<00:25:38.080> this<00:25:39.039> to<00:25:39.279> start<00:25:39.440> a<00:25:39.679> war.
picture. Like I did this to start a war.
picture. Like I did this to start a war.
Like<00:25:40.159> I<00:25:40.320> did<00:25:40.559> this<00:25:40.880> to<00:25:41.200> better
Like I did this to better
Like I did this to better
our<00:25:42.720> future.<00:25:43.120> I<00:25:43.360> did<00:25:43.520> this<00:25:43.679> to<00:25:43.840> better<00:25:44.640> the
our future. I did this to better the
our future. I did this to better the
future<00:25:45.120> of<00:25:45.360> everyone<00:25:45.679> else."<00:25:46.400> Mhm.<00:25:47.840> I<00:25:48.159> think
future of everyone else." Mhm. I think
future of everyone else." Mhm. I think
it's<00:25:48.799> also<00:25:49.120> like
my<00:25:52.480> point<00:25:52.720> is
my point is
my point is
Aker<00:25:54.720> played<00:25:55.039> himself.<00:25:56.159> He<00:25:56.480> really<00:25:56.720> did.<00:25:57.200> I
Aker played himself. He really did. I
Aker played himself. He really did. I
think<00:25:57.600> he<00:25:57.840> fell<00:25:58.080> hard<00:25:58.320> and<00:25:58.559> he<00:25:58.720> fell<00:25:58.960> fast<00:26:00.080> and
think he fell hard and he fell fast and
think he fell hard and he fell fast and
he<00:26:00.640> put<00:26:00.960> his<00:26:01.279> own<00:26:01.440> wants<00:26:01.679> and<00:26:01.919> needs<00:26:02.320> above
he put his own wants and needs above
he put his own wants and needs above
those<00:26:03.279> of<00:26:04.320> his<00:26:04.640> kingdom<00:26:05.120> and<00:26:05.440> his<00:26:05.600> people
those of his kingdom and his people
those of his kingdom and his people
and<00:26:07.200> that<00:26:07.520> goes<00:26:07.760> against<00:26:08.159> his<00:26:08.480> values.<00:26:09.120> And<00:26:09.360> I
and that goes against his values. And I
and that goes against his values. And I
think<00:26:10.080> this<00:26:10.480> betrayal<00:26:10.960> that<00:26:11.279> he<00:26:11.600> feels<00:26:12.559> from
think this betrayal that he feels from
think this betrayal that he feels from
Joy,<00:26:13.360> honestly,<00:26:13.760> I<00:26:13.919> bet<00:26:14.080> you<00:26:14.240> in<00:26:14.480> that<00:26:14.640> next
Joy, honestly, I bet you in that next
Joy, honestly, I bet you in that next
book,<00:26:15.120> he's<00:26:15.440> gonna<00:26:15.600> be<00:26:15.760> like,<00:26:15.919> I'm<00:26:16.159> not<00:26:16.240> even
book, he's gonna be like, I'm not even
book, he's gonna be like, I'm not even
mad<00:26:16.640> at<00:26:16.720> you.<00:26:17.039> I'm<00:26:17.279> mad<00:26:17.440> at<00:26:17.600> myself
mad at you. I'm mad at myself
mad at you. I'm mad at myself
because<00:26:18.960> I<00:26:19.200> let<00:26:19.440> my<00:26:19.600> own<00:26:19.760> values<00:26:20.159> down.
because I let my own values down.
because I let my own values down.
That<00:26:21.840> I<00:26:22.159> think<00:26:22.240> is<00:26:22.880> one<00:26:23.120> of<00:26:23.200> the<00:26:23.440> that's<00:26:23.760> why<00:26:24.000> I
That I think is one of the that's why I
That I think is one of the that's why I
really<00:26:24.480> like<00:26:24.799> act<00:26:25.279> because
really like act because
really like act because
he<00:26:26.640> will<00:26:26.960> have<00:26:27.120> to<00:26:27.279> self-reflect<00:26:28.240> to<00:26:28.480> do<00:26:28.640> that
he will have to self-reflect to do that
he will have to self-reflect to do that
and<00:26:29.760> be<00:26:30.000> in<00:26:30.159> the<00:26:30.400> moment<00:26:30.799> and<00:26:31.200> really<00:26:31.760> feel<00:26:32.640> his
and be in the moment and really feel his
and be in the moment and really feel his
feelings<00:26:33.279> and<00:26:33.520> realize<00:26:33.840> like,<00:26:34.320> look,<00:26:34.559> I<00:26:34.720> I
feelings and realize like, look, I I
feelings and realize like, look, I I
took<00:26:35.279> actions.<00:26:35.760> Those<00:26:35.919> aren't<00:26:36.159> me.<00:26:36.720> M
took actions. Those aren't me. M
took actions. Those aren't me. M
those<00:26:37.200> were<00:26:37.360> actions<00:26:37.679> I<00:26:37.919> took.<00:26:38.880> Those<00:26:39.039> are
those were actions I took. Those are
those were actions I took. Those are
feelings<00:26:39.520> I<00:26:39.760> have.<00:26:40.080> All<00:26:40.240> of<00:26:40.320> that<00:26:40.559> is<00:26:40.720> valid.
feelings I have. All of that is valid.
feelings I have. All of that is valid.
But<00:26:41.840> I'm<00:26:42.080> a<00:26:42.240> person<00:26:42.559> capable<00:26:42.960> of<00:26:43.200> change.<00:26:43.840> And
But I'm a person capable of change. And
But I'm a person capable of change. And
I<00:26:44.320> recognize<00:26:45.440> that<00:26:45.679> I'm<00:26:45.919> not<00:26:46.080> living<00:26:46.240> towards
I recognize that I'm not living towards
I recognize that I'm not living towards
my<00:26:46.720> values.<00:26:47.039> I'm<00:26:47.200> not<00:26:47.360> going<00:26:47.679> towards<00:26:48.880> the
my values. I'm not going towards the
my values. I'm not going towards the
leader<00:26:49.440> that<00:26:49.600> I<00:26:49.760> want<00:26:49.840> to<00:26:50.000> be.<00:26:50.240> And<00:26:50.400> so<00:26:51.360> I<00:26:51.679> think
leader that I want to be. And so I think
leader that I want to be. And so I think
there<00:26:52.080> will<00:26:52.240> be<00:26:52.320> a<00:26:52.559> lot<00:26:52.640> of<00:26:52.799> growth.<00:26:53.840> I'm
there will be a lot of growth. I'm
there will be a lot of growth. I'm
really<00:26:54.320> hoping<00:26:54.640> there<00:26:54.880> is<00:26:56.080> for<00:26:56.240> him.
really hoping there is for him.
really hoping there is for him.
He's<00:26:56.799> too<00:26:57.039> hot<00:26:57.279> to<00:26:57.440> not.
He's too hot to not.
He's too hot to not.
He<00:26:57.919> is<00:26:58.080> too<00:26:58.320> hot.<00:26:58.799> My<00:26:59.039> heart<00:26:59.200> broke<00:26:59.440> when<00:26:59.600> he
He is too hot. My heart broke when he
He is too hot. My heart broke when he
was<00:26:59.760> like,<00:26:59.840> "Was<00:27:00.159> any<00:27:00.320> of<00:27:00.480> it<00:27:00.720> real?"<00:27:01.039> I<00:27:01.279> was
was like, "Was any of it real?" I was
was like, "Was any of it real?" I was
like,
like,
like,
I<00:27:02.240> know.
I know.
I know.
I<00:27:02.799> don't<00:27:02.960> know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I<00:27:03.520> know.<00:27:03.760> But<00:27:03.919> I<00:27:04.080> also<00:27:04.400> love<00:27:05.120> that<00:27:05.360> it<00:27:05.600> was<00:27:05.760> the
I know. But I also love that it was the
I know. But I also love that it was the
girl<00:27:06.240> who<00:27:06.480> was<00:27:06.640> the<00:27:06.880> villain.<00:27:07.360> Like<00:27:07.679> I<00:27:08.320> I<00:27:08.640> did
girl who was the villain. Like I I did
girl who was the villain. Like I I did
too.
too.
too.
I<00:27:09.360> loved<00:27:10.080> that<00:27:10.640> she<00:27:10.960> betrayed<00:27:11.600> him
I loved that she betrayed him
I loved that she betrayed him
because<00:27:13.279> so<00:27:13.520> often<00:27:13.919> it's<00:27:14.159> the<00:27:14.320> other<00:27:14.480> way
because so often it's the other way
because so often it's the other way
around<00:27:14.880> and<00:27:15.120> then<00:27:15.279> we<00:27:15.440> like<00:27:15.600> pity<00:27:15.919> the<00:27:16.159> woman
around and then we like pity the woman
around and then we like pity the woman
like,<00:27:16.640> "Oh,<00:27:16.960> she's<00:27:17.120> such<00:27:17.279> a<00:27:17.440> victim."<00:27:18.000> Nah,
like, "Oh, she's such a victim." Nah,
like, "Oh, she's such a victim." Nah,
brah.<00:27:18.880> This
brah. This
brah. This
she's<00:27:20.000> not<00:27:20.159> a<00:27:20.320> victim,<00:27:21.120> she's<00:27:21.279> a<00:27:21.520> player.
she's not a victim, she's a player.
she's not a victim, she's a player.
I'm<00:27:22.400> loved<00:27:22.720> that<00:27:22.960> I<00:27:23.360> also<00:27:23.679> got<00:27:24.000> gas<00:27:24.320> lit<00:27:24.720> in
I'm loved that I also got gas lit in
I'm loved that I also got gas lit in
this<00:27:25.200> book.<00:27:25.679> Did<00:27:25.840> I<00:27:26.080> appreciate<00:27:26.480> it<00:27:26.720> at<00:27:26.880> the
this book. Did I appreciate it at the
this book. Did I appreciate it at the
end?<00:27:27.360> No.<00:27:28.159> But<00:27:28.400> I<00:27:28.640> give<00:27:28.880> props<00:27:29.279> to<00:27:29.440> the<00:27:29.679> author
end? No. But I give props to the author
end? No. But I give props to the author
for<00:27:30.880> making<00:27:31.120> me<00:27:31.440> also<00:27:31.840> believe.<00:27:32.559> Yes,<00:27:32.960> I<00:27:33.200> give
for making me also believe. Yes, I give
for making me also believe. Yes, I give
props<00:27:33.679> to<00:27:33.760> the<00:27:33.919> author.<00:27:34.240> I<00:27:34.480> think<00:27:34.559> it<00:27:34.799> was<00:27:34.880> a
props to the author. I think it was a
props to the author. I think it was a
really<00:27:35.360> great<00:27:35.679> twist.<00:27:36.640> I<00:27:36.960> still<00:27:37.279> think<00:27:37.840> lit
really great twist. I still think lit
really great twist. I still think lit
some<00:27:39.120> of<00:27:39.200> it<00:27:39.520> doesn't<00:27:39.760> make<00:27:39.919> sense
some of it doesn't make sense
some of it doesn't make sense
literary<00:27:41.279> way
literary way
literary way
there<00:27:43.200> had<00:27:43.440> to<00:27:43.600> be<00:27:43.679> a<00:27:44.080> better<00:27:44.799> bridge<00:27:45.360> or<00:27:45.679> like
there had to be a better bridge or like
there had to be a better bridge or like
something<00:27:46.240> where<00:27:46.480> I'm<00:27:46.720> like<00:27:46.960> looking<00:27:47.440> and
something where I'm like looking and
something where I'm like looking and
seeing<00:27:48.240> Joy
seeing Joy
seeing Joy
like<00:27:50.159> I<00:27:50.400> needed<00:27:50.799> more<00:27:51.679> foreshadowing<00:27:52.640> on
like I needed more foreshadowing on
like I needed more foreshadowing on
Joy's<00:27:53.440> end<00:27:53.679> because<00:27:53.919> if<00:27:54.080> you're<00:27:54.240> going<00:27:54.320> to
Joy's end because if you're going to
Joy's end because if you're going to
make<00:27:54.640> Joie<00:27:55.760> the<00:27:56.080> perspective<00:27:56.720> that<00:27:57.039> we're
make Joie the perspective that we're
make Joie the perspective that we're
reading<00:27:58.640> from
reading from
reading from
reading<00:27:59.360> from<00:27:59.760> Yeah.<00:28:00.559> It<00:28:00.799> could<00:28:00.880> have<00:28:01.039> been
reading from Yeah. It could have been
reading from Yeah. It could have been
like<00:28:01.440> there<00:28:01.679> were<00:28:01.840> other<00:28:02.080> perspectives,
like there were other perspectives,
like there were other perspectives,
right,<00:28:03.520> when<00:28:03.760> Joy<00:28:04.159> was<00:28:04.399> doing<00:28:04.640> these<00:28:04.960> like
right, when Joy was doing these like
right, when Joy was doing these like
secret<00:28:05.919> having<00:28:06.159> these<00:28:06.399> secret<00:28:06.720> thoughts<00:28:07.039> or
secret having these secret thoughts or
secret having these secret thoughts or
things<00:28:07.520> so<00:28:07.760> that<00:28:08.720> it<00:28:08.960> wasn't<00:28:09.279> all<00:28:09.440> Joy<00:28:09.919> because
things so that it wasn't all Joy because
things so that it wasn't all Joy because
it<00:28:10.399> just<00:28:10.559> doesn't<00:28:10.799> make<00:28:11.039> sense<00:28:11.200> to<00:28:11.440> me<00:28:11.520> that
it just doesn't make sense to me that
it just doesn't make sense to me that
she<00:28:12.000> wouldn't<00:28:12.240> have<00:28:12.480> been<00:28:12.720> thinking<00:28:12.960> about
she wouldn't have been thinking about
she wouldn't have been thinking about
this<00:28:13.760> or<00:28:14.000> in<00:28:14.559> like<00:28:14.880> when<00:28:15.039> was<00:28:15.200> she<00:28:15.360> in
this or in like when was she in
this or in like when was she in
communication<00:28:16.080> with<00:28:16.240> Messer<00:28:16.799> and<00:28:17.360> Kai?<00:28:18.240> When
communication with Messer and Kai? When
communication with Messer and Kai? When
was<00:28:18.720> she<00:28:19.360> coordinating<00:28:19.919> all<00:28:20.080> of<00:28:20.240> this?<00:28:20.640> When
was she coordinating all of this? When
was she coordinating all of this? When
when<00:28:21.600> did<00:28:21.840> she<00:28:22.080> feel<00:28:22.320> bad?<00:28:22.720> Cuz<00:28:22.960> she<00:28:23.200> had<00:28:23.360> to
when did she feel bad? Cuz she had to
when did she feel bad? Cuz she had to
have<00:28:23.679> felt<00:28:24.000> bad.<00:28:24.480> And<00:28:24.640> there<00:28:24.799> were<00:28:25.039> moments
have felt bad. And there were moments
have felt bad. And there were moments
where<00:28:25.520> it's<00:28:25.760> like<00:28:25.919> she<00:28:26.240> kind<00:28:26.399> of<00:28:26.559> did.
where it's like she kind of did.
where it's like she kind of did.
Yeah.<00:28:27.679> But<00:28:27.840> it<00:28:28.080> was<00:28:28.240> so<00:28:28.799> muddled<00:28:29.279> and<00:28:29.520> that's
Yeah. But it was so muddled and that's
Yeah. But it was so muddled and that's
why<00:28:29.840> I<00:28:30.000> was<00:28:30.080> like<00:28:30.240> maybe<00:28:30.480> it<00:28:30.720> is<00:28:30.880> dissociative
why I was like maybe it is dissociative
why I was like maybe it is dissociative
identity<00:28:32.240> disorder<00:28:32.640> and<00:28:32.880> she's<00:28:33.200> really<00:28:33.840> joy
identity disorder and she's really joy
identity disorder and she's really joy
and<00:28:34.480> not<00:28:34.640> Brin<00:28:34.960> at<00:28:35.200> this<00:28:35.440> point.<00:28:35.919> But<00:28:37.200> I<00:28:37.840> I
and not Brin at this point. But I I
and not Brin at this point. But I I
don't<00:28:38.320> know<00:28:39.360> she
don't know she
don't know she
when<00:28:41.200> she<00:28:41.440> was<00:28:41.679> like<00:28:42.240> Joy<00:28:42.880> I<00:28:43.120> she<00:28:43.360> I<00:28:43.520> feel<00:28:43.679> like
when she was like Joy I she I feel like
when she was like Joy I she I feel like
she<00:28:44.000> put<00:28:44.159> on<00:28:44.320> the<00:28:44.480> persona<00:28:44.960> so<00:28:45.200> well
she put on the persona so well
she put on the persona so well
like<00:28:46.559> she<00:28:46.880> really<00:28:47.520> she's<00:28:47.840> lying<00:28:48.080> to<00:28:48.240> herself.
like she really she's lying to herself.
like she really she's lying to herself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like<00:28:49.919> and<00:28:50.159> I<00:28:50.320> there<00:28:50.480> was<00:28:50.640> some<00:28:50.799> parts<00:28:50.960> where
Like and I there was some parts where
Like and I there was some parts where
I'm<00:28:51.279> like<00:28:51.440> there's<00:28:51.760> no<00:28:52.000> way<00:28:52.720> that<00:28:52.960> she<00:28:53.279> does
I'm like there's no way that she does
I'm like there's no way that she does
not<00:28:53.760> have<00:28:53.919> feelings<00:28:54.240> for<00:28:54.480> a<00:28:54.799> now.<00:28:54.960> like<00:28:55.200> there.
not have feelings for a now. like there.
not have feelings for a now. like there.
Oh,<00:28:55.679> she<00:28:55.919> has<00:28:56.080> feelings.
Oh, she has feelings.
Oh, she has feelings.
Yeah.<00:28:57.440> And<00:28:57.600> even<00:28:57.840> in<00:28:58.000> that<00:28:58.240> epilogue,<00:28:59.200> she<00:28:59.440> was
Yeah. And even in that epilogue, she was
Yeah. And even in that epilogue, she was
like,<00:29:00.559> "Oh,<00:29:00.960> no.<00:29:01.919> I<00:29:02.240> see<00:29:02.399> you.<00:29:02.799> I<00:29:02.960> taste<00:29:03.279> the
like, "Oh, no. I see you. I taste the
like, "Oh, no. I see you. I taste the
grape."
grape."
grape."
And<00:29:04.960> she<00:29:05.120> was<00:29:05.279> hurt.<00:29:06.080> There<00:29:06.320> was<00:29:06.399> another
And she was hurt. There was another
And she was hurt. There was another
woman.
woman.
woman.
She<00:29:08.720> was<00:29:09.120> She<00:29:09.360> was<00:29:09.600> She<00:29:09.919> was<00:29:10.080> devastated.<00:29:11.200> It's
She was She was She was devastated. It's
She was She was She was devastated. It's
like,<00:29:11.520> "What?<00:29:11.840> What<00:29:12.000> did<00:29:12.240> you<00:29:12.399> expect?<00:29:13.679> He's
like, "What? What did you expect? He's
like, "What? What did you expect? He's
He's<00:29:14.480> just<00:29:14.640> a<00:29:14.880> boy.
He's just a boy.
He's just a boy.
He's<00:29:15.360> just<00:29:15.679> a<00:29:15.919> [Â __Â ]<00:29:16.240> boy.
He's just a [Â __Â ] boy.
He's just a [Â __Â ] boy.
He's<00:29:16.799> just<00:29:17.039> a<00:29:17.279> [Â __Â ]<00:29:17.600> boy."
He's just a [Â __Â ] boy."
He's just a [Â __Â ] boy."
A<00:29:18.559> hot<00:29:18.799> one<00:29:19.200> that<00:29:19.440> I<00:29:19.600> would<00:29:19.760> also<00:29:20.080> fall<00:29:20.320> for.
A hot one that I would also fall for.
A hot one that I would also fall for.
Yeah,<00:29:21.120> he<00:29:21.360> [Â __Â ]
Yeah, he [Â __Â ]
Yeah, he [Â __Â ]
Yeah,<00:29:22.159> for<00:29:22.399> sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.<00:29:24.640> But<00:29:24.880> I<00:29:25.120> think<00:29:25.200> it'll<00:29:25.520> be<00:29:25.600> really
Yeah. But I think it'll be really
Yeah. But I think it'll be really
interesting<00:29:26.320> to<00:29:26.640> see<00:29:28.080> where
interesting to see where
interesting to see where
their<00:29:30.240> romantic<00:29:31.120> relationship
their romantic relationship
their romantic relationship
is<00:29:33.520> in<00:29:33.840> book<00:29:34.159> two<00:29:34.880> and<00:29:35.200> how<00:29:35.360> it<00:29:35.600> plays<00:29:35.840> out<00:29:36.080> for
is in book two and how it plays out for
is in book two and how it plays out for
them.<00:29:37.039> And<00:29:37.200> I<00:29:37.440> think<00:29:37.520> that<00:29:37.760> brings<00:29:37.919> me<00:29:38.000> to<00:29:38.159> my
them. And I think that brings me to my
them. And I think that brings me to my
final<00:29:38.720> point.<00:29:39.919> Aker
final point. Aker
final point. Aker
protects<00:29:42.159> his<00:29:42.399> peace.
protects his peace.
protects his peace.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like<00:29:43.520> he<00:29:43.760> needs<00:29:43.919> to<00:29:44.159> protect<00:29:44.480> his<00:29:44.720> peace<00:29:44.960> and
Like he needs to protect his peace and
Like he needs to protect his peace and
learn<00:29:45.440> how<00:29:45.600> to<00:29:45.760> do<00:29:45.919> that.
learn how to do that.
learn how to do that.
And<00:29:47.360> I<00:29:47.760> think<00:29:48.320> in<00:29:48.640> the<00:29:48.880> kind<00:29:49.039> of<00:29:49.200> epilogue<00:29:49.760> you
And I think in the kind of epilogue you
And I think in the kind of epilogue you
see
see
see
that<00:29:51.520> he's<00:29:52.000> kind<00:29:52.240> of<00:29:52.320> done<00:29:52.480> that.<00:29:52.799> like<00:29:53.039> he's
that he's kind of done that. like he's
that he's kind of done that. like he's
really
really
really
removed<00:29:55.440> himself<00:29:55.760> from<00:29:56.000> the<00:29:56.240> situation<00:29:57.279> and<00:29:57.520> I
removed himself from the situation and I
removed himself from the situation and I
think<00:29:57.760> he's<00:29:58.000> going<00:29:58.080> to<00:29:58.240> be<00:29:58.399> forced<00:29:58.640> to<00:29:58.799> be<00:29:59.039> put
think he's going to be forced to be put
think he's going to be forced to be put
back<00:29:59.760> in.
back in.
back in.
He<00:30:00.559> is.
He is.
He is.
And<00:30:01.919> I<00:30:02.159> think<00:30:02.240> that's<00:30:02.559> good<00:30:02.799> because<00:30:03.120> I<00:30:03.279> do
And I think that's good because I do
And I think that's good because I do
think<00:30:03.679> once<00:30:03.919> again<00:30:04.159> I<00:30:04.399> think<00:30:04.480> he<00:30:04.720> wants<00:30:04.960> to<00:30:05.120> be
think once again I think he wants to be
think once again I think he wants to be
like<00:30:05.760> this<00:30:06.080> beloved<00:30:06.480> leader<00:30:06.799> who<00:30:07.039> really
like this beloved leader who really
like this beloved leader who really
cares<00:30:08.240> about<00:30:08.480> his<00:30:08.799> people.<00:30:09.279> And<00:30:09.440> I<00:30:09.600> think<00:30:09.760> he
cares about his people. And I think he
cares about his people. And I think he
took<00:30:10.240> some<00:30:10.480> time<00:30:10.880> to<00:30:11.760> process<00:30:12.559> and<00:30:12.960> reflect
took some time to process and reflect
took some time to process and reflect
and<00:30:13.679> was<00:30:13.919> like<00:30:14.159> I<00:30:14.799> I'm<00:30:15.279> and<00:30:15.520> probably<00:30:15.760> have<00:30:15.919> a
and was like I I'm and probably have a
and was like I I'm and probably have a
lot<00:30:16.159> of<00:30:16.240> self-doubt<00:30:16.720> like<00:30:16.880> I'm<00:30:17.039> not<00:30:17.120> a<00:30:17.200> good
lot of self-doubt like I'm not a good
lot of self-doubt like I'm not a good
leader.<00:30:17.679> I<00:30:17.840> didn't<00:30:18.000> see<00:30:18.080> the<00:30:18.320> signs.<00:30:19.039> I've
leader. I didn't see the signs. I've
leader. I didn't see the signs. I've
been<00:30:19.440> betrayed.<00:30:20.000> I<00:30:20.240> don't<00:30:20.399> want<00:30:20.480> to<00:30:20.640> deal<00:30:20.799> with
been betrayed. I don't want to deal with
been betrayed. I don't want to deal with
these<00:30:21.120> emotions.<00:30:22.320> and<00:30:22.559> he's<00:30:22.799> gonna<00:30:23.039> have<00:30:23.200> to
these emotions. and he's gonna have to
these emotions. and he's gonna have to
deal<00:30:24.399> with<00:30:24.559> all<00:30:24.720> of<00:30:24.880> that<00:30:25.039> in<00:30:25.279> book<00:30:25.679> two,<00:30:26.080> but<00:30:26.240> I
deal with all of that in book two, but I
deal with all of that in book two, but I
think<00:30:26.640> he<00:30:26.799> took<00:30:27.039> a<00:30:27.200> lot<00:30:27.279> of<00:30:27.440> time<00:30:27.600> to<00:30:27.840> really
think he took a lot of time to really
think he took a lot of time to really
process<00:30:28.799> his<00:30:29.120> feelings.
process his feelings.
process his feelings.
I<00:30:30.880> would<00:30:31.039> just<00:30:31.200> say<00:30:31.440> protecting<00:30:31.919> your<00:30:32.080> peace
I would just say protecting your peace
I would just say protecting your peace
is<00:30:32.640> very<00:30:33.039> hard.
is very hard.
is very hard.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Very,<00:30:34.799> very<00:30:35.120> hard.<00:30:36.000> And<00:30:36.320> something<00:30:36.559> that
Very, very hard. And something that
Very, very hard. And something that
needs<00:30:37.039> to<00:30:37.279> happen<00:30:37.760> and<00:30:38.000> that's<00:30:38.399> done<00:30:38.640> by
needs to happen and that's done by
needs to happen and that's done by
setting<00:30:39.200> boundaries.
setting boundaries.
setting boundaries.
Yeah.<00:30:40.480> I<00:30:40.799> think<00:30:41.360> physical<00:30:41.919> and<00:30:42.159> emotional
Yeah. I think physical and emotional
Yeah. I think physical and emotional
boundaries.
boundaries.
boundaries.
Amen.<00:30:44.399> So<00:30:44.640> emotional<00:30:45.120> boundaries
Amen. So emotional boundaries
Amen. So emotional boundaries
recognizing<00:30:46.240> that<00:30:46.480> others<00:30:46.880> ne<00:30:47.360> others
recognizing that others ne others
recognizing that others ne others
negativity<00:30:48.399> is<00:30:48.720> often<00:30:49.039> a<00:30:49.279> reflection<00:30:49.840> of
negativity is often a reflection of
negativity is often a reflection of
their<00:30:50.320> own<00:30:50.559> issues<00:30:51.120> and<00:30:51.440> not<00:30:51.600> your<00:30:51.840> worth<00:30:52.640> and
their own issues and not your worth and
their own issues and not your worth and
you<00:30:53.039> need<00:30:53.120> to<00:30:53.279> kind<00:30:53.440> of<00:30:53.600> separate<00:30:53.919> yourself
you need to kind of separate yourself
you need to kind of separate yourself
from<00:30:54.480> their<00:30:54.720> actions<00:30:55.120> and<00:30:55.440> words<00:30:55.840> and
from their actions and words and
from their actions and words and
physical<00:30:56.480> boundaries.<00:30:57.840> Define<00:30:58.399> your
physical boundaries. Define your
physical boundaries. Define your
personal<00:30:59.120> space<00:30:59.440> and<00:30:59.760> prioritize<00:31:00.640> privacy.
personal space and prioritize privacy.
personal space and prioritize privacy.
And<00:31:01.919> then<00:31:02.159> time<00:31:02.480> boundaries<00:31:02.880> are<00:31:03.120> another
And then time boundaries are another
And then time boundaries are another
one.<00:31:03.679> So<00:31:03.919> prioritize<00:31:04.480> how<00:31:04.640> you<00:31:04.799> spend<00:31:05.039> your
one. So prioritize how you spend your
one. So prioritize how you spend your
time<00:31:06.000> and<00:31:06.240> guard<00:31:06.559> against<00:31:06.799> overcommitment.
time and guard against overcommitment.
time and guard against overcommitment.
So<00:31:09.039> low<00:31:09.279> key,<00:31:09.600> those<00:31:09.840> of<00:31:10.000> us<00:31:10.240> who<00:31:10.720> work<00:31:10.880> a<00:31:11.120> lot,
So low key, those of us who work a lot,
So low key, those of us who work a lot,
that<00:31:11.679> might<00:31:11.840> be<00:31:12.960> an<00:31:13.279> issue<00:31:13.760> looking<00:31:14.000> at
that might be an issue looking at
that might be an issue looking at
myself,
myself,
myself,
couldn't<00:31:16.159> be<00:31:16.320> me.<00:31:17.360> And<00:31:17.520> then<00:31:17.760> categorizing
couldn't be me. And then categorizing
couldn't be me. And then categorizing
them<00:31:18.720> into<00:31:19.039> hard<00:31:19.360> versus<00:31:19.760> soft<00:31:20.159> boundaries,
them into hard versus soft boundaries,
them into hard versus soft boundaries,
right?<00:31:21.120> So<00:31:21.279> these<00:31:21.520> are<00:31:21.600> my<00:31:21.840> hard<00:31:22.159> boundaries.
right? So these are my hard boundaries.
right? So these are my hard boundaries.
The<00:31:23.039> like<00:31:23.840> I'm,
The like I'm,
The like I'm,
for<00:31:25.600> lack<00:31:25.760> of<00:31:25.840> a<00:31:26.080> better<00:31:26.240> example,<00:31:26.720> I'm<00:31:26.960> never
for lack of a better example, I'm never
for lack of a better example, I'm never
going<00:31:27.279> to<00:31:27.440> work<00:31:28.159> after<00:31:28.559> 5:00<00:31:28.960> p.m.<00:31:29.919> That<00:31:30.080> could
going to work after 5:00 p.m. That could
going to work after 5:00 p.m. That could
be<00:31:30.240> a<00:31:30.399> hard<00:31:30.559> boundary.<00:31:30.960> That<00:31:31.200> might<00:31:31.360> be<00:31:31.600> a
be a hard boundary. That might be a
be a hard boundary. That might be a
really<00:31:32.080> difficult<00:31:32.399> boundary<00:31:32.799> to<00:31:32.960> enforce,
really difficult boundary to enforce,
really difficult boundary to enforce,
but<00:31:33.520> that's<00:31:33.760> like<00:31:33.919> literally<00:31:34.799> you<00:31:35.039> shut<00:31:35.279> your
but that's like literally you shut your
but that's like literally you shut your
computer,<00:31:36.399> you<00:31:36.559> log<00:31:36.799> out<00:31:36.960> of<00:31:37.120> Outlook,<00:31:38.159> you
computer, you log out of Outlook, you
computer, you log out of Outlook, you
don't<00:31:39.200> look<00:31:39.360> at<00:31:39.519> your<00:31:39.679> phone<00:31:39.919> ever<00:31:40.240> again
don't look at your phone ever again
don't look at your phone ever again
until<00:31:40.880> 8<00:31:41.120> a.m.<00:31:41.279> the<00:31:41.519> next<00:31:41.679> day.<00:31:42.640> Or<00:31:43.039> maybe<00:31:43.279> a
until 8 a.m. the next day. Or maybe a
until 8 a.m. the next day. Or maybe a
better<00:31:43.760> example<00:31:44.320> of<00:31:44.480> a<00:31:44.720> hard<00:31:44.960> boundary<00:31:45.279> in
better example of a hard boundary in
better example of a hard boundary in
this<00:31:45.679> book<00:31:45.840> that<00:31:46.080> Aker<00:31:46.480> could<00:31:46.720> set.
this book that Aker could set.
this book that Aker could set.
I'm<00:31:49.919> trying<00:31:50.080> to<00:31:50.159> think<00:31:50.399> because<00:31:50.559> like<00:31:50.720> he
I'm trying to think because like he
I'm trying to think because like he
can't<00:31:51.360> be<00:31:51.600> like,<00:31:51.760> I'm<00:31:51.919> never<00:31:52.080> going<00:31:52.159> to<00:31:52.240> see
can't be like, I'm never going to see
can't be like, I'm never going to see
Joy<00:31:52.880> again.
Joy again.
Joy again.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm<00:31:54.480> never<00:31:54.640> going<00:31:54.720> to<00:31:54.799> see<00:31:54.960> my<00:31:55.200> sister<00:31:55.440> again.
I'm never going to see my sister again.
I'm never going to see my sister again.
Maybe<00:31:56.159> it's<00:31:56.399> like<00:31:56.960> a<00:31:57.279> hard<00:31:57.519> boundary<00:31:57.919> you<00:31:58.159> can
Maybe it's like a hard boundary you can
Maybe it's like a hard boundary you can
set<00:31:58.480> with<00:31:58.799> yourself<00:31:59.519> is
set with yourself is
set with yourself is
I'm<00:32:01.440> never<00:32:01.679> going<00:32:01.760> to<00:32:01.919> not<00:32:02.320> ask<00:32:02.720> questions
I'm never going to not ask questions
I'm never going to not ask questions
again.<00:32:04.399> I'm<00:32:04.640> never<00:32:04.799> going<00:32:04.880> to<00:32:05.039> take<00:32:05.279> something
again. I'm never going to take something
again. I'm never going to take something
at<00:32:06.159> face<00:32:06.480> value.
at face value.
at face value.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And<00:32:08.240> that<00:32:08.480> could<00:32:08.640> be<00:32:08.880> it<00:32:09.120> doesn't<00:32:09.360> always<00:32:09.519> have
And that could be it doesn't always have
And that could be it doesn't always have
to<00:32:09.760> be<00:32:10.080> I'm<00:32:10.399> not<00:32:10.559> going<00:32:10.640> to<00:32:10.799> do<00:32:10.960> something.
to be I'm not going to do something.
to be I'm not going to do something.
Maybe<00:32:11.679> I'm<00:32:12.080> always<00:32:12.559> reframing<00:32:13.120> my<00:32:13.360> boundary
Maybe I'm always reframing my boundary
Maybe I'm always reframing my boundary
is<00:32:14.000> I'm<00:32:14.320> always<00:32:14.640> going<00:32:14.880> to<00:32:15.120> have<00:32:15.440> two
is I'm always going to have two
is I'm always going to have two
questions<00:32:16.399> in<00:32:16.720> every<00:32:16.960> situation.
questions in every situation.
questions in every situation.
What<00:32:18.960> motivates<00:32:19.600> this<00:32:19.919> person?
What motivates this person?
What motivates this person?
What<00:32:22.240> and<00:32:22.799> what<00:32:23.120> is<00:32:23.919> can<00:32:24.159> I<00:32:24.320> trust<00:32:24.559> this
What and what is can I trust this
What and what is can I trust this
person?<00:32:25.120> what's<00:32:25.279> their<00:32:25.519> motivation<00:32:25.840> and<00:32:26.080> can
person? what's their motivation and can
person? what's their motivation and can
I<00:32:26.399> trust<00:32:26.559> this<00:32:26.799> person<00:32:27.120> are<00:32:27.279> the<00:32:27.440> two
I trust this person are the two
I trust this person are the two
questions<00:32:28.080> I'm<00:32:28.399> always<00:32:28.640> going<00:32:28.720> to<00:32:28.880> ask<00:32:29.200> in
questions I'm always going to ask in
questions I'm always going to ask in
every<00:32:29.760> situation<00:32:30.320> that<00:32:30.480> is<00:32:30.640> a<00:32:30.880> hard<00:32:31.200> firm
every situation that is a hard firm
every situation that is a hard firm
boundary<00:32:32.000> for<00:32:32.240> me<00:32:32.720> and<00:32:32.880> if<00:32:33.120> you<00:32:33.279> cannot
boundary for me and if you cannot
boundary for me and if you cannot
explain<00:32:34.880> those<00:32:35.200> questions<00:32:35.519> to<00:32:35.840> me<00:32:36.720> then<00:32:36.960> I'm
explain those questions to me then I'm
explain those questions to me then I'm
not<00:32:37.279> going<00:32:37.360> to<00:32:37.519> engage<00:32:37.760> in<00:32:38.000> this
not going to engage in this
not going to engage in this
yeah<00:32:38.799> I<00:32:39.039> think<00:32:39.279> trust<00:32:39.600> is<00:32:39.840> going<00:32:39.919> to<00:32:40.000> be<00:32:40.080> a<00:32:40.240> big
yeah I think trust is going to be a big
yeah I think trust is going to be a big
one
one
one
oh<00:32:40.960> my<00:32:41.120> gosh<00:32:41.440> I<00:32:41.760> reestablishing<00:32:42.480> trust<00:32:42.880> is
oh my gosh I reestablishing trust is
oh my gosh I reestablishing trust is
going<00:32:43.200> to<00:32:43.360> be<00:32:43.440> so<00:32:43.760> hard
going to be so hard
going to be so hard
I<00:32:44.480> think<00:32:44.640> that's<00:32:44.880> going<00:32:44.960> to<00:32:45.039> be<00:32:45.120> a<00:32:45.360> really
I think that's going to be a really
I think that's going to be a really
tough<00:32:45.760> battle<00:32:46.000> for<00:32:46.240> him
tough battle for him
tough battle for him
okay<00:32:47.200> so<00:32:48.320> I<00:32:48.640> do<00:32:48.880> have<00:32:49.120> an<00:32:49.440> exercise<00:32:49.919> that<00:32:50.159> you
okay so I do have an exercise that you
okay so I do have an exercise that you
could<00:32:50.480> do<00:32:51.039> to<00:32:51.440> set<00:32:51.679> some<00:32:51.919> boundaries<00:32:53.039> I<00:32:53.279> like
could do to set some boundaries I like
could do to set some boundaries I like
that
that
that
So<00:32:55.440> exercise<00:32:55.919> for<00:32:56.159> figuring<00:32:56.559> out<00:32:56.720> boundaries.
So exercise for figuring out boundaries.
So exercise for figuring out boundaries.
Imagine<00:32:58.559> that<00:32:58.720> your<00:32:58.960> life<00:32:59.120> as<00:32:59.360> it<00:32:59.519> is<00:32:59.760> right
Imagine that your life as it is right
Imagine that your life as it is right
now<00:33:00.480> is<00:33:00.799> no<00:33:01.039> longer<00:33:01.360> possible.<00:33:02.559> Sorry<00:33:02.799> about
now is no longer possible. Sorry about
now is no longer possible. Sorry about
you.<00:33:03.840> Say<00:33:04.080> you<00:33:04.240> get<00:33:04.320> laid<00:33:04.640> off.<00:33:05.120> You<00:33:05.279> have<00:33:05.440> to
you. Say you get laid off. You have to
you. Say you get laid off. You have to
move<00:33:05.840> towns.
move towns.
move towns.
Your<00:33:07.600> girlfriend<00:33:08.000> betrays<00:33:08.559> you.<00:33:09.120> Starts<00:33:09.440> an
Your girlfriend betrays you. Starts an
Your girlfriend betrays you. Starts an
entire<00:33:10.159> war.
entire war.
entire war.
Something<00:33:12.000> happens,<00:33:12.880> right?
Something happens, right?
Something happens, right?
What<00:33:15.360> would<00:33:15.519> you<00:33:15.679> do<00:33:15.919> next?<00:33:16.799> Who<00:33:17.039> would<00:33:17.200> you
What would you do next? Who would you
What would you do next? Who would you
miss?
miss?
miss?
What<00:33:19.360> would<00:33:19.519> you<00:33:19.600> not<00:33:19.840> miss?<00:33:21.120> Your<00:33:21.519> answers
What would you not miss? Your answers
What would you not miss? Your answers
reveal<00:33:22.799> your<00:33:22.960> highle<00:33:23.519> priorities.<00:33:24.799> So<00:33:26.080> if<00:33:26.320> you
reveal your highle priorities. So if you
reveal your highle priorities. So if you
were<00:33:26.720> like,<00:33:27.120> okay,<00:33:27.440> next<00:33:27.679> thing<00:33:28.080> I<00:33:28.320> would<00:33:28.480> do
were like, okay, next thing I would do
were like, okay, next thing I would do
is<00:33:28.880> find<00:33:29.200> shelter.<00:33:29.919> That's<00:33:30.159> a<00:33:30.320> that's<00:33:30.559> a<00:33:30.799> big
is find shelter. That's a that's a big
is find shelter. That's a that's a big
boundary<00:33:31.360> for<00:33:31.600> you.<00:33:32.080> That's<00:33:32.480> important.<00:33:33.360> Who
boundary for you. That's important. Who
boundary for you. That's important. Who
would<00:33:33.760> you<00:33:33.919> miss?<00:33:34.240> I<00:33:34.480> would<00:33:34.640> miss<00:33:35.440> my<00:33:35.760> sister.
would you miss? I would miss my sister.
would you miss? I would miss my sister.
So<00:33:36.320> maybe<00:33:36.480> that's<00:33:36.720> someone<00:33:36.880> you<00:33:37.120> can't<00:33:37.279> cut
So maybe that's someone you can't cut
So maybe that's someone you can't cut
out<00:33:37.600> of<00:33:37.679> your<00:33:37.760> life.<00:33:38.000> But<00:33:38.080> if<00:33:38.159> you're<00:33:38.240> like,
out of your life. But if you're like,
out of your life. But if you're like,
you<00:33:38.480> know<00:33:38.480> what,<00:33:38.720> I<00:33:38.880> wouldn't<00:33:39.039> miss<00:33:39.200> my<00:33:39.360> dad.
you know what, I wouldn't miss my dad.
you know what, I wouldn't miss my dad.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Well,<00:33:41.440> that's<00:33:41.760> great<00:33:42.080> cuz<00:33:42.640> he<00:33:42.880> sucked.<00:33:43.440> He's
Well, that's great cuz he sucked. He's
Well, that's great cuz he sucked. He's
he's<00:33:44.080> gone.<00:33:45.279> Okay.<00:33:45.679> So<00:33:45.840> then<00:33:46.080> practice
he's gone. Okay. So then practice
he's gone. Okay. So then practice
setting<00:33:46.880> one<00:33:47.120> hard<00:33:47.360> boundary<00:33:47.679> to<00:33:47.919> protect
setting one hard boundary to protect
setting one hard boundary to protect
your<00:33:48.320> highle<00:33:48.880> priorities<00:33:49.519> by<00:33:49.840> limiting
your highle priorities by limiting
your highle priorities by limiting
interactions<00:33:50.799> or<00:33:51.120> activities<00:33:51.919> that<00:33:52.240> are<00:33:52.399> not
interactions or activities that are not
interactions or activities that are not
the<00:33:52.960> best<00:33:53.279> use<00:33:53.519> of<00:33:53.679> your<00:33:53.919> time.<00:33:54.720> For<00:33:54.799> example,
the best use of your time. For example,
the best use of your time. For example,
if<00:33:55.360> your<00:33:55.519> highle<00:33:56.000> priority<00:33:56.399> is<00:33:56.559> to<00:33:56.720> be<00:33:56.799> less
if your highle priority is to be less
if your highle priority is to be less
drained<00:33:57.279> after<00:33:57.519> work,<00:33:57.840> cut<00:33:58.080> back<00:33:58.320> on<00:33:58.480> a<00:33:58.720> few
drained after work, cut back on a few
drained after work, cut back on a few
energy<00:33:59.360> draining<00:33:59.840> tasks.<00:34:00.960> So<00:34:01.360> if<00:34:01.600> you're<00:34:01.840> aer
energy draining tasks. So if you're aer
energy draining tasks. So if you're aer
and<00:34:02.480> your<00:34:02.720> boundary<00:34:03.039> is<00:34:03.200> to<00:34:03.360> be<00:34:03.519> less<00:34:03.760> drained
and your boundary is to be less drained
and your boundary is to be less drained
after<00:34:04.960> ruling<00:34:05.360> a<00:34:05.600> kingdom<00:34:06.799> and<00:34:07.200> leading<00:34:07.519> a<00:34:07.760> war
after ruling a kingdom and leading a war
after ruling a kingdom and leading a war
effort,<00:34:09.280> then<00:34:10.079> maybe<00:34:10.560> some<00:34:10.800> of<00:34:10.960> this<00:34:11.200> is
effort, then maybe some of this is
effort, then maybe some of this is
setting<00:34:11.760> boundaries<00:34:12.159> where<00:34:12.480> you<00:34:12.800> only<00:34:13.119> think
setting boundaries where you only think
setting boundaries where you only think
about<00:34:13.520> joy<00:34:14.000> for<00:34:14.320> 10<00:34:14.560> minutes<00:34:14.720> a<00:34:14.960> day<00:34:16.000> because
about joy for 10 minutes a day because
about joy for 10 minutes a day because
that<00:34:16.639> seems<00:34:16.879> really<00:34:17.119> draining<00:34:17.839> and<00:34:18.000> that's<00:34:18.159> a
that seems really draining and that's a
that seems really draining and that's a
hard<00:34:18.480> boundary<00:34:18.800> to<00:34:18.960> enforce.<00:34:19.359> So<00:34:19.520> maybe<00:34:19.679> it's
hard boundary to enforce. So maybe it's
hard boundary to enforce. So maybe it's
a<00:34:20.000> physical<00:34:20.399> thing<00:34:20.639> like<00:34:21.440> I<00:34:21.919> no<00:34:22.159> longer<00:34:22.480> can<00:34:22.720> go
a physical thing like I no longer can go
a physical thing like I no longer can go
to<00:34:23.200> the<00:34:23.440> sites<00:34:24.000> that<00:34:24.800> we<00:34:25.040> share<00:34:25.359> together.
to the sites that we share together.
to the sites that we share together.
That's<00:34:26.879> a<00:34:27.040> good<00:34:27.119> one.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Yeah.<00:34:28.639> But<00:34:28.879> when<00:34:29.119> you're<00:34:29.359> working<00:34:29.520> with<00:34:29.679> a
Yeah. But when you're working with a
Yeah. But when you're working with a
client,<00:34:30.079> I<00:34:30.240> also<00:34:30.480> want<00:34:30.560> to<00:34:30.720> point<00:34:30.879> out<00:34:31.040> like
client, I also want to point out like
client, I also want to point out like
I'm<00:34:31.520> not<00:34:31.599> going<00:34:31.679> to<00:34:31.839> sit<00:34:32.000> here<00:34:32.240> and<00:34:32.480> make<00:34:33.280> these
I'm not going to sit here and make these
I'm not going to sit here and make these
examples<00:34:34.079> for<00:34:34.320> you.<00:34:34.960> No,
examples for you. No,
examples for you. No,
like<00:34:35.520> you<00:34:35.760> have<00:34:35.839> to<00:34:36.000> do<00:34:36.159> this<00:34:36.480> on<00:34:36.720> your<00:34:36.879> own<00:34:37.280> and
like you have to do this on your own and
like you have to do this on your own and
you<00:34:37.760> have<00:34:37.919> to<00:34:38.079> set<00:34:38.240> those<00:34:38.399> boundaries
you have to set those boundaries
you have to set those boundaries
yourself<00:34:39.359> and<00:34:39.679> decide<00:34:40.000> what's<00:34:40.240> a<00:34:40.399> high
yourself and decide what's a high
yourself and decide what's a high
priority<00:34:41.119> for<00:34:41.280> you<00:34:41.520> and<00:34:41.839> what's<00:34:42.079> not.
priority for you and what's not.
priority for you and what's not.
Y
Y
Y
and<00:34:43.520> so<00:34:43.760> I<00:34:44.079> also<00:34:44.399> want<00:34:44.560> to<00:34:44.720> stress<00:34:45.200> when<00:34:45.440> we're
and so I also want to stress when we're
and so I also want to stress when we're
talking<00:34:46.079> about
talking about
talking about
the<00:34:47.919> male<00:34:48.240> leads<00:34:48.560> and<00:34:48.800> the<00:34:48.960> characters<00:34:49.280> in
the male leads and the characters in
the male leads and the characters in
books,<00:34:50.399> they<00:34:50.720> can't<00:34:51.119> engage<00:34:51.520> with<00:34:51.760> us<00:34:52.159> and
books, they can't engage with us and
books, they can't engage with us and
tell<00:34:52.720> us<00:34:53.040> these<00:34:53.440> things.<00:34:53.760> So<00:34:53.919> we<00:34:54.240> have<00:34:54.399> to
tell us these things. So we have to
tell us these things. So we have to
think<00:34:55.280> of<00:34:55.440> them.<00:34:56.240> But<00:34:56.399> when<00:34:56.639> we're<00:34:56.879> working
think of them. But when we're working
think of them. But when we're working
with<00:34:57.359> clients,
with clients,
with clients,
you<00:34:59.280> ha<00:34:59.520> like<00:34:59.680> the<00:34:59.920> client<00:35:00.240> has<00:35:00.400> to<00:35:00.560> engage
you ha like the client has to engage
you ha like the client has to engage
with<00:35:01.040> us<00:35:01.280> and<00:35:01.599> and<00:35:02.000> tell<00:35:02.160> us<00:35:03.040> this<00:35:03.200> is<00:35:03.280> my
with us and and tell us this is my
with us and and tell us this is my
boundary.<00:35:04.000> This<00:35:04.079> is<00:35:04.160> what's<00:35:04.480> important<00:35:04.640> to<00:35:04.880> me
boundary. This is what's important to me
boundary. This is what's important to me
and<00:35:05.359> I'm<00:35:05.520> going<00:35:05.680> to<00:35:05.760> believe<00:35:06.079> you
and I'm going to believe you
and I'm going to believe you
because<00:35:07.440> I<00:35:07.599> trust<00:35:07.839> you.<00:35:08.079> I<00:35:08.240> trust<00:35:08.400> that<00:35:08.640> you're
because I trust you. I trust that you're
because I trust you. I trust that you're
not<00:35:08.960> lying<00:35:09.200> to<00:35:09.440> me.
not lying to me.
not lying to me.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
And<00:35:10.720> that's<00:35:10.960> counseling.
And that's counseling.
And that's counseling.
Per
Per
Per
that<00:35:14.320> you<00:35:14.480> go<00:35:14.800> do<00:35:14.880> the<00:35:15.119> work<00:35:15.440> and<00:35:15.680> I'm<00:35:15.920> going<00:35:16.000> to
that you go do the work and I'm going to
that you go do the work and I'm going to
be<00:35:16.240> like,<00:35:16.480> "Let's<00:35:16.880> go."
be like, "Let's go."
be like, "Let's go."
Cheering<00:35:19.200> you<00:35:19.359> on<00:35:19.440> the<00:35:19.599> side.
Cheering you on the side.
Cheering you on the side.
Exactly.<00:35:21.599> So<00:35:21.920> then<00:35:22.160> next,<00:35:22.720> think<00:35:22.960> about<00:35:23.119> your
Exactly. So then next, think about your
Exactly. So then next, think about your
aspirations.<00:35:24.240> Are<00:35:24.480> there<00:35:24.640> soft<00:35:24.960> boundaries
aspirations. Are there soft boundaries
aspirations. Are there soft boundaries
you<00:35:25.680> can<00:35:25.839> set<00:35:26.320> to<00:35:26.560> feel<00:35:26.800> more<00:35:27.040> productive,
you can set to feel more productive,
you can set to feel more productive,
creative,<00:35:28.000> and<00:35:28.240> rested<00:35:28.640> at<00:35:28.800> work<00:35:28.960> or<00:35:29.200> at<00:35:29.359> home?
creative, and rested at work or at home?
creative, and rested at work or at home?
Test<00:35:30.240> them<00:35:30.400> out.<00:35:30.720> So<00:35:30.960> soft<00:35:31.280> boundaries<00:35:31.920> like
Test them out. So soft boundaries like
Test them out. So soft boundaries like
I'm<00:35:32.800> going<00:35:32.880> to<00:35:33.040> try<00:35:33.920> and<00:35:34.560> from<00:35:35.200> 6<00:35:35.520> to<00:35:35.760> 7,<00:35:36.400> three
I'm going to try and from 6 to 7, three
I'm going to try and from 6 to 7, three
nights<00:35:36.960> a<00:35:37.119> week,<00:35:37.440> write<00:35:37.839> a<00:35:37.920> 100<00:35:38.240> words.<00:35:39.119> That's
nights a week, write a 100 words. That's
nights a week, write a 100 words. That's
a<00:35:39.520> soft<00:35:39.760> boundary.<00:35:40.079> It's<00:35:40.240> just<00:35:40.400> kind<00:35:40.480> of<00:35:40.560> like
a soft boundary. It's just kind of like
a soft boundary. It's just kind of like
setting<00:35:41.119> a<00:35:41.280> goal<00:35:42.160> and<00:35:42.400> I'm<00:35:42.640> going<00:35:42.720> to<00:35:42.800> try<00:35:42.960> and
setting a goal and I'm going to try and
setting a goal and I'm going to try and
do<00:35:43.359> it.<00:35:44.000> Which<00:35:44.160> means<00:35:44.400> I'm<00:35:44.720> not<00:35:44.800> going<00:35:44.960> to
do it. Which means I'm not going to
do it. Which means I'm not going to
schedule<00:35:45.599> things<00:35:46.079> during<00:35:46.400> that<00:35:46.720> time.<00:35:47.440> I'm
schedule things during that time. I'm
schedule things during that time. I'm
not<00:35:47.839> going<00:35:47.920> to<00:35:48.000> have<00:35:48.160> friends<00:35:48.480> over<00:35:48.720> during
not going to have friends over during
not going to have friends over during
that<00:35:49.119> time,<00:35:49.280> but<00:35:49.520> if<00:35:49.680> it<00:35:49.839> happens,<00:35:50.160> it's<00:35:50.320> not
that time, but if it happens, it's not
that time, but if it happens, it's not
the<00:35:50.640> end<00:35:50.720> of<00:35:50.800> the<00:35:50.960> world.<00:35:51.359> It's<00:35:51.520> something<00:35:51.760> I
the end of the world. It's something I
the end of the world. It's something I
can<00:35:52.079> deal<00:35:52.160> with.<00:35:52.400> Whereas<00:35:52.720> hard<00:35:52.960> boundaries,
can deal with. Whereas hard boundaries,
can deal with. Whereas hard boundaries,
it's<00:35:53.839> a<00:35:54.079> big<00:35:54.480> deal.<00:35:55.760> And<00:35:55.920> then<00:35:56.160> just<00:35:56.400> pay
it's a big deal. And then just pay
it's a big deal. And then just pay
attention<00:35:56.800> to<00:35:56.960> the<00:35:57.200> behavioral<00:35:57.680> changes.<00:35:58.160> See
attention to the behavioral changes. See
attention to the behavioral changes. See
how<00:35:58.560> you<00:35:58.720> feel.<00:35:59.359> Assess<00:36:00.079> which<00:36:00.400> boundaries<00:36:00.800> do
how you feel. Assess which boundaries do
how you feel. Assess which boundaries do
you<00:36:01.040> want<00:36:01.119> to<00:36:01.200> stick<00:36:01.359> with<00:36:01.520> and<00:36:01.680> which<00:36:01.839> ones
you want to stick with and which ones
you want to stick with and which ones
you<00:36:02.240> need<00:36:02.400> to<00:36:02.560> adjust,<00:36:02.960> right?<00:36:03.200> Cuz<00:36:03.440> not
you need to adjust, right? Cuz not
you need to adjust, right? Cuz not
everything<00:36:04.480> is<00:36:04.800> going<00:36:05.119> to<00:36:05.839> stay<00:36:06.079> the<00:36:06.320> same.
everything is going to stay the same.
everything is going to stay the same.
Things<00:36:07.359> change,<00:36:08.000> you<00:36:08.240> adjust.<00:36:09.440> Behaviors
Things change, you adjust. Behaviors
Things change, you adjust. Behaviors
change,<00:36:10.560> you<00:36:10.800> adjust.<00:36:11.520> So<00:36:12.560> maybe<00:36:12.880> this<00:36:13.119> works
change, you adjust. So maybe this works
change, you adjust. So maybe this works
for<00:36:13.440> you<00:36:13.680> for<00:36:13.920> years<00:36:14.800> and<00:36:14.960> then<00:36:15.200> suddenly<00:36:15.520> it
for you for years and then suddenly it
for you for years and then suddenly it
stops<00:36:16.000> working.
stops working.
stops working.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
We'll<00:36:17.839> adjust.
We'll adjust.
We'll adjust.
Other<00:36:19.839> things<00:36:20.000> that<00:36:20.240> I<00:36:20.400> think<00:36:20.640> Aker<00:36:21.200> will<00:36:21.520> do
Other things that I think Aker will do
Other things that I think Aker will do
to<00:36:22.000> help<00:36:22.240> with<00:36:22.640> setting<00:36:22.960> some<00:36:23.200> boundaries<00:36:24.000> and
to help with setting some boundaries and
to help with setting some boundaries and
kind<00:36:24.880> of<00:36:25.040> protecting<00:36:25.359> his<00:36:25.599> peace,
kind of protecting his peace,
kind of protecting his peace,
practicing<00:36:28.079> that<00:36:28.320> self-care.<00:36:29.520> I<00:36:29.760> hate<00:36:29.920> that
practicing that self-care. I hate that
practicing that self-care. I hate that
word,<00:36:30.320> but<00:36:30.560> yes,<00:36:31.520> I<00:36:31.760> think<00:36:31.920> you<00:36:32.240> can<00:36:32.480> kind<00:36:32.640> of
word, but yes, I think you can kind of
word, but yes, I think you can kind of
see<00:36:32.960> he<00:36:33.119> might<00:36:33.280> be<00:36:33.440> doing<00:36:33.680> that<00:36:34.079> in<00:36:34.320> the<00:36:35.200> in<00:36:35.440> the
see he might be doing that in the in the
see he might be doing that in the in the
epilogue.<00:36:36.240> I<00:36:36.400> was<00:36:36.560> going<00:36:36.560> to<00:36:36.640> say<00:36:36.880> towards<00:36:37.200> the
epilogue. I was going to say towards the
epilogue. I was going to say towards the
end,<00:36:38.079> but<00:36:38.960> I<00:36:39.280> think<00:36:39.359> it's<00:36:39.680> really<00:36:39.839> important
end, but I think it's really important
end, but I think it's really important
him<00:36:41.119> going<00:36:41.440> into<00:36:41.839> book<00:36:42.160> two,<00:36:42.560> like<00:36:42.960> really
him going into book two, like really
him going into book two, like really
putting<00:36:44.560> his<00:36:44.880> people's
putting his people's
putting his people's
needs<00:36:46.880> and<00:36:47.200> his<00:36:47.440> needs<00:36:47.839> before
needs and his needs before
needs and his needs before
his<00:36:49.599> love<00:36:49.839> and<00:36:50.000> relationship<00:36:50.400> with<00:36:50.640> Joy.
his love and relationship with Joy.
his love and relationship with Joy.
Yeah.<00:36:51.920> I<00:36:52.240> think<00:36:52.320> when<00:36:52.560> we<00:36:52.720> say<00:36:52.960> self-care<00:36:53.760> too,
Yeah. I think when we say self-care too,
Yeah. I think when we say self-care too,
it's<00:36:54.480> not<00:36:54.880> just
it's not just
it's not just
thinking<00:36:57.520> about<00:36:57.839> yourself
thinking about yourself
thinking about yourself
because<00:37:00.240> yourself<00:37:00.960> is<00:37:02.000> within<00:37:02.480> the<00:37:02.640> context
because yourself is within the context
because yourself is within the context
of<00:37:04.079> the<00:37:04.400> roles<00:37:04.720> in<00:37:04.960> society<00:37:06.240> you<00:37:06.640> exist<00:37:06.960> in.
of the roles in society you exist in.
of the roles in society you exist in.
And<00:37:08.320> so<00:37:08.560> sometimes<00:37:09.359> it<00:37:09.680> is<00:37:10.800> self-care<00:37:11.440> to<00:37:11.680> put
And so sometimes it is self-care to put
And so sometimes it is self-care to put
others<00:37:12.960> needs<00:37:13.520> above<00:37:13.920> yours.<00:37:14.720> So
others needs above yours. So
others needs above yours. So
self-care<00:37:17.359> could<00:37:17.680> be,
self-care could be,
self-care could be,
you<00:37:20.160> know,<00:37:20.400> really<00:37:20.800> sitting<00:37:21.200> down<00:37:21.359> and
you know, really sitting down and
you know, really sitting down and
journaling<00:37:23.040> out<00:37:23.920> how<00:37:24.240> you<00:37:24.480> feel<00:37:24.880> about<00:37:25.200> this
journaling out how you feel about this
journaling out how you feel about this
betrayal<00:37:26.720> so<00:37:26.960> that<00:37:27.200> you<00:37:27.440> can<00:37:27.599> get<00:37:27.760> that<00:37:28.000> out<00:37:28.240> in
betrayal so that you can get that out in
betrayal so that you can get that out in
process<00:37:29.040> so<00:37:29.280> that<00:37:29.599> you<00:37:29.920> can<00:37:30.079> go<00:37:30.320> and<00:37:30.560> spend<00:37:30.880> the
process so that you can go and spend the
process so that you can go and spend the
rest<00:37:31.200> of<00:37:31.359> your<00:37:31.599> day<00:37:32.720> deciding,
rest of your day deciding,
rest of your day deciding,
okay,<00:37:35.680> do<00:37:35.839> we<00:37:36.000> need<00:37:36.079> to<00:37:36.240> raise<00:37:36.560> taxes<00:37:37.520> to<00:37:38.000> fund
okay, do we need to raise taxes to fund
okay, do we need to raise taxes to fund
this<00:37:38.480> war?<00:37:39.119> Yeah.<00:37:39.440> Do<00:37:39.839> I<00:37:40.079> need<00:37:40.240> to<00:37:40.480> make<00:37:40.640> sure
this war? Yeah. Do I need to make sure
this war? Yeah. Do I need to make sure
that<00:37:41.119> there's<00:37:42.079> sustainable<00:37:43.040> living<00:37:43.680> and
that there's sustainable living and
that there's sustainable living and
clean<00:37:44.720> water<00:37:45.119> for<00:37:45.440> my<00:37:45.680> people?<00:37:46.000> And<00:37:46.160> how<00:37:46.320> do<00:37:46.480> I
clean water for my people? And how do I
clean water for my people? And how do I
organize<00:37:47.040> and<00:37:47.280> do<00:37:47.440> that?<00:37:48.000> So<00:37:48.240> self-care<00:37:49.040> just
organize and do that? So self-care just
organize and do that? So self-care just
allows<00:37:50.000> you<00:37:50.240> to<00:37:50.480> be<00:37:50.640> able<00:37:50.800> to<00:37:51.200> function.<00:37:52.320> So
allows you to be able to function. So
allows you to be able to function. So
what<00:37:52.800> are<00:37:54.000> what<00:37:54.320> are<00:37:54.640> the<00:37:54.880> things<00:37:55.040> that<00:37:55.280> you
what are what are the things that you
what are what are the things that you
can<00:37:55.680> do<00:37:56.560> to<00:37:56.880> allow<00:37:57.200> you<00:37:57.359> to<00:37:57.680> function
can do to allow you to function
can do to allow you to function
at<00:37:59.680> your<00:37:59.839> best<00:38:00.160> ability<00:38:00.960> during<00:38:01.280> the<00:38:01.520> day
at your best ability during the day
at your best ability during the day
and<00:38:02.800> in<00:38:03.040> your<00:38:03.200> roles<00:38:03.599> and<00:38:03.920> in<00:38:04.160> the<00:38:04.400> context<00:38:04.800> of
and in your roles and in the context of
and in your roles and in the context of
of<00:38:05.520> the<00:38:05.680> society<00:38:06.079> you<00:38:06.320> live<00:38:06.480> in,<00:38:07.200> not<00:38:07.359> just<00:38:07.680> get
of the society you live in, not just get
of the society you live in, not just get
through<00:38:08.160> the<00:38:08.480> day.<00:38:08.880> Yeah.
through the day. Yeah.
through the day. Yeah.
Right.<00:38:09.599> So,<00:38:10.240> eight<00:38:10.480> hours<00:38:10.720> of<00:38:10.880> sleep<00:38:11.119> or<00:38:11.440> 6<00:38:11.599> to
Right. So, eight hours of sleep or 6 to
Right. So, eight hours of sleep or 6 to
8<00:38:12.000> hours<00:38:12.240> of<00:38:12.400> sleep<00:38:13.040> with<00:38:13.359> good<00:38:13.599> quality
8 hours of sleep with good quality
8 hours of sleep with good quality
sleep,<00:38:14.880> engaging<00:38:15.359> in<00:38:15.680> things<00:38:15.839> that<00:38:16.560> overflow
sleep, engaging in things that overflow
sleep, engaging in things that overflow
your<00:38:17.280> cup<00:38:17.440> or<00:38:17.680> fill<00:38:17.920> your<00:38:18.079> cup<00:38:18.320> up,<00:38:18.560> if<00:38:18.720> you
your cup or fill your cup up, if you
your cup or fill your cup up, if you
will.
will.
will.
For<00:38:19.760> us,<00:38:19.920> we<00:38:20.160> have<00:38:20.240> our<00:38:20.480> creative<00:38:20.880> pursuits
For us, we have our creative pursuits
For us, we have our creative pursuits
that<00:38:22.800> at<00:38:22.880> least<00:38:23.119> for<00:38:23.359> me,<00:38:23.599> they<00:38:23.839> really<00:38:24.160> like
that at least for me, they really like
that at least for me, they really like
they<00:38:24.640> really<00:38:24.800> invigorate<00:38:25.280> me<00:38:25.520> so<00:38:25.680> that<00:38:25.839> I'm
they really invigorate me so that I'm
they really invigorate me so that I'm
able<00:38:26.240> to<00:38:26.400> go<00:38:26.720> to<00:38:26.960> my<00:38:27.280> job<00:38:27.920> and<00:38:28.160> be<00:38:28.320> like,<00:38:28.560> "Ah,<00:38:29.839> I
able to go to my job and be like, "Ah, I
able to go to my job and be like, "Ah, I
do<00:38:30.240> have<00:38:30.400> to<00:38:30.560> book<00:38:30.800> another<00:38:31.040> pickle<00:38:31.440> ball
do have to book another pickle ball
do have to book another pickle ball
court."
court."
court."
Tell<00:38:33.599> me<00:38:33.760> how<00:38:33.920> you<00:38:34.079> feel.
Tell me how you feel.
Tell me how you feel.
What<00:38:35.440> do<00:38:35.599> you<00:38:35.680> think<00:38:35.920> actors<00:38:36.320> should<00:38:36.480> do<00:38:36.640> to
What do you think actors should do to
What do you think actors should do to
practice<00:38:37.280> self-care?
practice self-care?
practice self-care?
I<00:38:40.160> think<00:38:41.040> he<00:38:41.359> seems<00:38:41.599> hotheaded.<00:38:42.240> So,<00:38:42.400> I<00:38:42.560> feel
I think he seems hotheaded. So, I feel
I think he seems hotheaded. So, I feel
like<00:38:42.800> a<00:38:43.040> way<00:38:44.160> for<00:38:44.400> him<00:38:44.560> to<00:38:44.800> do<00:38:44.880> self-care<00:38:45.359> is
like a way for him to do self-care is
like a way for him to do self-care is
like<00:38:45.680> to<00:38:45.920> get<00:38:46.079> out<00:38:46.240> your<00:38:46.480> frustration<00:38:47.839> in
like to get out your frustration in
like to get out your frustration in
other<00:38:48.480> aspects.<00:38:49.680> And<00:38:49.839> so,<00:38:50.000> like,<00:38:50.240> yeah,
other aspects. And so, like, yeah,
other aspects. And so, like, yeah,
journaling<00:38:50.880> works<00:38:51.119> for<00:38:51.359> some<00:38:51.599> people<00:38:51.839> and
journaling works for some people and
journaling works for some people and
then<00:38:52.240> it<00:38:52.400> doesn't<00:38:52.560> work<00:38:52.720> for<00:38:52.880> everyone.<00:38:53.440> It
then it doesn't work for everyone. It
then it doesn't work for everyone. It
doesn't<00:38:53.839> work<00:38:54.000> for<00:38:54.160> me.<00:38:54.320> I<00:38:54.480> don't<00:38:54.560> journal.
doesn't work for me. I don't journal.
doesn't work for me. I don't journal.
It<00:38:55.040> doesn't.<00:38:55.200> Yeah.<00:38:55.520> As<00:38:55.680> a<00:38:55.920> counselor,<00:38:56.240> I<00:38:56.560> also
It doesn't. Yeah. As a counselor, I also
It doesn't. Yeah. As a counselor, I also
don't<00:38:57.119> journal.
don't journal.
don't journal.
It's<00:38:58.240> not<00:38:58.400> a<00:38:58.560> thing.<00:38:58.960> I<00:39:00.240> was<00:39:00.560> recommended<00:39:01.440> to
It's not a thing. I was recommended to
It's not a thing. I was recommended to
cuz<00:39:02.640> I<00:39:02.880> feel<00:39:03.920> or<00:39:04.160> I<00:39:04.320> believe<00:39:04.560> I<00:39:04.800> had<00:39:04.960> a<00:39:05.200> lot<00:39:05.280> of
cuz I feel or I believe I had a lot of
cuz I feel or I believe I had a lot of
frustration<00:39:06.320> and<00:39:06.560> a<00:39:06.720> lot<00:39:06.800> of<00:39:06.880> anger<00:39:07.200> towards<00:39:07.440> a
frustration and a lot of anger towards a
frustration and a lot of anger towards a
lot<00:39:07.680> of<00:39:07.839> things<00:39:07.920> in<00:39:08.160> my<00:39:08.400> own<00:39:08.640> life<00:39:09.359> which<00:39:09.680> I
lot of things in my own life which I
lot of things in my own life which I
think<00:39:10.560> Aker<00:39:11.119> also<00:39:11.440> does<00:39:12.079> you<00:39:12.240> know<00:39:12.960> now<00:39:13.440> kind
think Aker also does you know now kind
think Aker also does you know now kind
of<00:39:14.000> his<00:39:14.320> world<00:39:14.640> turned<00:39:14.880> upside<00:39:15.280> down.
of his world turned upside down.
of his world turned upside down.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
In<00:39:17.520> a<00:39:17.680> matter<00:39:17.920> of<00:39:18.160> like<00:39:19.040> almost<00:39:19.440> months.<00:39:20.320> I
In a matter of like almost months. I
In a matter of like almost months. I
don't<00:39:20.560> even<00:39:20.720> know<00:39:20.880> if<00:39:21.040> it<00:39:21.200> was<00:39:21.280> months.
don't even know if it was months.
don't even know if it was months.
Honestly,<00:39:22.800> the<00:39:23.040> timeline<00:39:23.440> on<00:39:23.599> this<00:39:23.839> was<00:39:24.079> so
Honestly, the timeline on this was so
Honestly, the timeline on this was so
fast.
fast.
fast.
It<00:39:25.119> was<00:39:25.200> really<00:39:25.520> fast.
It was really fast.
It was really fast.
It's<00:39:27.839> It<00:39:28.000> was<00:39:28.160> so<00:39:28.560> like<00:39:29.440> and<00:39:29.760> I<00:39:30.079> that's<00:39:30.400> a<00:39:30.640> whole
It's It was so like and I that's a whole
It's It was so like and I that's a whole
other<00:39:31.200> thing<00:39:31.680> with<00:39:32.000> romance<00:39:32.560> books<00:39:32.880> like<00:39:33.359> they
other thing with romance books like they
other thing with romance books like they
they're<00:39:34.000> so<00:39:34.240> fast.
they're so fast.
they're so fast.
They're<00:39:34.960> so<00:39:35.119> fast.
They're so fast.
They're so fast.
Next<00:39:36.800> episode<00:39:38.079> we're<00:39:38.320> going<00:39:38.400> to<00:39:38.560> be<00:39:38.640> doing<00:39:38.800> a
Next episode we're going to be doing a
Next episode we're going to be doing a
book<00:39:39.119> and<00:39:39.359> that's<00:39:39.520> one<00:39:39.680> of<00:39:39.760> my<00:39:40.000> like<00:39:40.240> why<00:39:40.400> is
book and that's one of my like why is
book and that's one of my like why is
the<00:39:40.720> timeline<00:39:41.119> so<00:39:41.359> fast?
the timeline so fast?
the timeline so fast?
I<00:39:41.920> agree.<00:39:42.560> Yes.<00:39:43.440> Yes.<00:39:43.839> I<00:39:44.079> know<00:39:44.160> what<00:39:44.320> you're
I agree. Yes. Yes. I know what you're
I agree. Yes. Yes. I know what you're
talking<00:39:44.640> about.
talking about.
talking about.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Yeah.<00:39:46.079> But<00:39:46.560> stay<00:39:46.720> tuned<00:39:46.880> for<00:39:47.119> next<00:39:47.280> week's
Yeah. But stay tuned for next week's
Yeah. But stay tuned for next week's
episode.
episode.
episode.
I<00:39:49.359> think<00:39:50.480> other<00:39:50.800> ways<00:39:50.960> to<00:39:51.119> get<00:39:51.200> out<00:39:51.359> your
I think other ways to get out your
I think other ways to get out your
frustration<00:39:52.000> is<00:39:52.240> like<00:39:52.480> physical<00:39:52.960> activities.
frustration is like physical activities.
frustration is like physical activities.
And<00:39:54.800> so<00:39:55.040> for<00:39:55.200> me,<00:39:55.359> I<00:39:55.599> was<00:39:55.760> recommended<00:39:56.240> like
And so for me, I was recommended like
And so for me, I was recommended like
kick<00:39:56.960> kickboxing<00:39:57.920> or<00:39:58.400> like<00:39:58.720> something
kick kickboxing or like something
kick kickboxing or like something
physical<00:39:59.839> where<00:40:00.160> you're<00:40:00.320> getting<00:40:00.560> out<00:40:00.720> your
physical where you're getting out your
physical where you're getting out your
frustration<00:40:01.440> but<00:40:01.680> in<00:40:01.920> a<00:40:02.079> healthy<00:40:02.560> way.
frustration but in a healthy way.
frustration but in a healthy way.
And<00:40:03.839> so<00:40:04.880> I<00:40:05.119> think<00:40:05.280> he<00:40:05.520> could<00:40:05.760> really<00:40:05.920> benefit
And so I think he could really benefit
And so I think he could really benefit
from<00:40:06.560> like<00:40:06.800> sparring,<00:40:07.440> you<00:40:07.680> know,<00:40:08.079> with,<00:40:08.720> you
from like sparring, you know, with, you
from like sparring, you know, with, you
know,<00:40:09.040> his<00:40:10.000> soldiers<00:40:10.480> that<00:40:10.640> he<00:40:10.800> already<00:40:11.040> works
know, his soldiers that he already works
know, his soldiers that he already works
with<00:40:11.599> or<00:40:11.839> like<00:40:12.160> sparring<00:40:12.480> with<00:40:12.720> his,
with or like sparring with his,
with or like sparring with his,
you<00:40:13.839> know,<00:40:15.119> but<00:40:15.359> I<00:40:15.599> think<00:40:15.920> physical<00:40:16.960> activity
you know, but I think physical activity
you know, but I think physical activity
could<00:40:17.760> be<00:40:17.839> something<00:40:18.160> really<00:40:18.400> useful<00:40:18.640> for<00:40:18.880> him
could be something really useful for him
could be something really useful for him
and<00:40:19.280> I<00:40:19.440> think<00:40:19.520> it's<00:40:19.760> something<00:40:20.000> that<00:40:20.240> he
and I think it's something that he
and I think it's something that he
honestly<00:40:20.880> enjoys.
honestly enjoys.
honestly enjoys.
Mhm.<00:40:22.800> from<00:40:23.119> like<00:40:23.520> the<00:40:23.839> amount<00:40:24.079> of<00:40:24.240> people<00:40:24.480> I
Mhm. from like the amount of people I
Mhm. from like the amount of people I
feel<00:40:24.880> like<00:40:24.960> he<00:40:25.200> beat<00:40:25.440> up<00:40:25.520> and<00:40:25.760> killed
feel like he beat up and killed
feel like he beat up and killed
throughout<00:40:27.599> the<00:40:27.839> book.<00:40:28.480> I<00:40:28.640> was<00:40:28.880> like,
throughout the book. I was like,
throughout the book. I was like,
"So,<00:40:30.720> I<00:40:30.880> think<00:40:30.960> you<00:40:31.119> like<00:40:31.280> this<00:40:31.440> a<00:40:31.680> little<00:40:31.920> too
"So, I think you like this a little too
"So, I think you like this a little too
much."
much."
much."
Honestly,<00:40:33.440> I<00:40:33.680> think<00:40:33.760> he<00:40:34.000> should<00:40:34.160> try<00:40:34.320> yoga.
Honestly, I think he should try yoga.
Honestly, I think he should try yoga.
That<00:40:35.599> would<00:40:35.760> be<00:40:35.839> a<00:40:36.000> good<00:40:36.079> one,<00:40:36.320> too.
That would be a good one, too.
That would be a good one, too.
I<00:40:37.119> don't<00:40:37.280> I<00:40:37.599> don't<00:40:37.760> know<00:40:38.079> if<00:40:38.400> they<00:40:38.640> have<00:40:38.800> yoga
I don't I don't know if they have yoga
I don't I don't know if they have yoga
in<00:40:39.520> this<00:40:39.760> universe,<00:40:40.320> but<00:40:40.640> whatever
in this universe, but whatever
in this universe, but whatever
version<00:40:42.480> of<00:40:42.640> that<00:40:42.960> they<00:40:43.200> have,<00:40:43.520> cuz<00:40:43.760> I<00:40:44.079> think
version of that they have, cuz I think
version of that they have, cuz I think
he<00:40:44.480> needs<00:40:45.440> I<00:40:45.680> think<00:40:45.839> the<00:40:46.079> sparring<00:40:46.560> gets<00:40:46.880> a
he needs I think the sparring gets a
he needs I think the sparring gets a
lot.<00:40:47.280> It<00:40:47.520> tires<00:40:47.839> him<00:40:48.000> out<00:40:48.400> which<00:40:48.640> is<00:40:48.800> important
lot. It tires him out which is important
lot. It tires him out which is important
but<00:40:50.160> I<00:40:50.320> I<00:40:50.720> think<00:40:50.800> he<00:40:51.119> also<00:40:51.680> needs<00:40:52.000> that<00:40:52.240> kind<00:40:52.400> of
but I I think he also needs that kind of
but I I think he also needs that kind of
mindful<00:40:54.240> movement<00:40:55.359> with<00:40:55.599> it.<00:40:56.480> I<00:40:56.800> also<00:40:57.040> don't
mindful movement with it. I also don't
mindful movement with it. I also don't
like<00:40:57.440> yoga.<00:40:57.839> Like<00:40:58.079> these<00:40:58.319> are<00:40:58.560> these<00:40:58.800> are
like yoga. Like these are these are
like yoga. Like these are these are
suggestions
suggestions
suggestions
that<00:41:00.880> not<00:41:01.119> me<00:41:01.440> as<00:41:01.680> a<00:41:01.839> person<00:41:02.480> would<00:41:02.800> do<00:41:03.599> because
that not me as a person would do because
that not me as a person would do because
I<00:41:04.079> have<00:41:04.319> tried<00:41:04.480> them<00:41:04.640> and<00:41:04.880> for<00:41:05.040> me<00:41:05.200> they<00:41:05.440> don't
I have tried them and for me they don't
I have tried them and for me they don't
they<00:41:05.839> don't<00:41:06.000> work<00:41:06.240> because<00:41:06.400> I<00:41:06.640> don't<00:41:07.520> I<00:41:07.839> like
they don't work because I don't I like
they don't work because I don't I like
hot<00:41:08.319> cycling.<00:41:08.880> Like<00:41:09.040> I<00:41:09.200> like<00:41:09.440> indoor<00:41:09.920> hot
hot cycling. Like I like indoor hot
hot cycling. Like I like indoor hot
cycling.<00:41:10.960> Um<00:41:11.200> and<00:41:11.440> that's<00:41:11.680> my<00:41:11.920> thing.<00:41:12.720> But<00:41:12.880> I
cycling. Um and that's my thing. But I
cycling. Um and that's my thing. But I
think<00:41:13.200> he<00:41:13.440> needs<00:41:13.680> something<00:41:14.000> that<00:41:14.240> really<00:41:15.040> is
think he needs something that really is
think he needs something that really is
just<00:41:15.760> for<00:41:16.000> him.
just for him.
just for him.
I<00:41:16.880> agree.<00:41:17.200> I<00:41:17.359> think<00:41:17.440> he<00:41:17.680> needs<00:41:17.760> to<00:41:17.920> pick<00:41:18.079> up
I agree. I think he needs to pick up
I agree. I think he needs to pick up
like<00:41:18.400> a<00:41:18.720> nice<00:41:19.200> calming<00:41:19.839> hobby.
like a nice calming hobby.
like a nice calming hobby.
Mhm.<00:41:22.079> whether<00:41:22.480> it's<00:41:22.800> like<00:41:23.760> knitting<00:41:24.880> or
Mhm. whether it's like knitting or
Mhm. whether it's like knitting or
writing<00:41:27.520> letters<00:41:27.839> to<00:41:28.079> his<00:41:28.319> best<00:41:28.480> friend<00:41:28.800> on
writing letters to his best friend on
writing letters to his best friend on
the<00:41:29.119> front<00:41:29.359> lines.
the front lines.
the front lines.
Um<00:41:32.319> maybe<00:41:32.640> art.<00:41:32.960> He<00:41:33.119> could<00:41:33.280> be<00:41:33.440> painting
Um maybe art. He could be painting
Um maybe art. He could be painting
painting.<00:41:35.680> But<00:41:35.920> I<00:41:36.079> think<00:41:36.319> something<00:41:36.880> mindful
painting. But I think something mindful
painting. But I think something mindful
like<00:41:37.520> you<00:41:37.680> said<00:41:37.839> that's<00:41:38.160> kind<00:41:38.319> of<00:41:38.480> like
like you said that's kind of like
like you said that's kind of like
really
really
really
I<00:41:41.599> think<00:41:41.839> sit<00:41:42.400> and<00:41:43.359> what's<00:41:43.760> going<00:41:43.920> on<00:41:44.480> and<00:41:44.800> like
I think sit and what's going on and like
I think sit and what's going on and like
processing<00:41:45.760> it<00:41:46.160> but<00:41:46.480> being<00:41:46.800> able<00:41:46.960> to<00:41:47.119> do<00:41:47.280> it<00:41:47.440> in
processing it but being able to do it in
processing it but being able to do it in
a<00:41:47.760> way<00:41:47.920> where<00:41:48.079> like
a way where like
a way where like
you<00:41:49.040> know
you know
you know
almost<00:41:51.440> like<00:41:51.760> you<00:41:51.920> know<00:41:52.000> like<00:41:52.240> children<00:41:52.640> like
almost like you know like children like
almost like you know like children like
you<00:41:52.960> let<00:41:53.119> them<00:41:53.359> color
you let them color
you let them color
and<00:41:54.560> kind<00:41:54.720> of<00:41:54.880> like<00:41:55.040> let<00:41:55.280> them<00:41:55.520> speak
and kind of like let them speak
and kind of like let them speak
and<00:41:56.800> go<00:41:56.960> at<00:41:57.119> their<00:41:57.359> own<00:41:57.520> pace.<00:41:57.839> I<00:41:58.079> think<00:41:58.160> he
and go at their own pace. I think he
and go at their own pace. I think he
could<00:41:58.560> benefit<00:41:58.960> from<00:42:00.400> not<00:42:00.560> that<00:42:00.800> he's<00:42:00.960> a<00:42:01.200> kid
could benefit from not that he's a kid
could benefit from not that he's a kid
but<00:42:02.240> but<00:42:02.480> he<00:42:02.720> is<00:42:02.960> in<00:42:03.119> a<00:42:03.280> lot<00:42:03.359> of<00:42:03.520> ways.<00:42:03.920> I<00:42:04.079> mean,
but but he is in a lot of ways. I mean,
but but he is in a lot of ways. I mean,
I<00:42:04.400> think<00:42:04.480> he<00:42:04.720> was<00:42:04.800> really<00:42:05.040> sheltered<00:42:05.760> from<00:42:06.079> his
I think he was really sheltered from his
I think he was really sheltered from his
dad<00:42:06.960> and<00:42:07.280> wasn't
dad and wasn't
dad and wasn't
like<00:42:09.119> he<00:42:09.440> did<00:42:09.599> have<00:42:09.760> to<00:42:10.079> he<00:42:10.400> had<00:42:10.560> to<00:42:10.720> witness<00:42:11.119> a
like he did have to he had to witness a
like he did have to he had to witness a
lot<00:42:11.440> of<00:42:11.599> adult<00:42:12.079> things<00:42:12.720> from<00:42:13.920> war<00:42:14.480> and<00:42:14.720> the
lot of adult things from war and the
lot of adult things from war and the
loss<00:42:15.119> of<00:42:15.359> his<00:42:15.599> mom,<00:42:16.480> but<00:42:16.720> he<00:42:16.960> was<00:42:17.119> never<00:42:17.520> given
loss of his mom, but he was never given
loss of his mom, but he was never given
I<00:42:19.040> think<00:42:20.000> the<00:42:21.359> almost<00:42:21.680> like<00:42:21.839> the<00:42:22.400> the<00:42:22.960> respect
I think the almost like the the respect
I think the almost like the the respect
of<00:42:23.680> being<00:42:23.920> an<00:42:24.240> adult.<00:42:25.119> He<00:42:25.359> was<00:42:25.520> asked<00:42:25.839> to<00:42:26.079> do
of being an adult. He was asked to do
of being an adult. He was asked to do
adult<00:42:26.960> things<00:42:27.280> but<00:42:27.599> not<00:42:28.720> not<00:42:29.040> trusted<00:42:29.520> to<00:42:29.839> be<00:42:30.400> a
adult things but not not trusted to be a
adult things but not not trusted to be a
responsible<00:42:31.200> adult.<00:42:31.520> And<00:42:31.680> so<00:42:31.839> I<00:42:32.000> think<00:42:32.079> he's
responsible adult. And so I think he's
responsible adult. And so I think he's
really<00:42:32.640> caught<00:42:33.200> in<00:42:33.520> that<00:42:33.760> very<00:42:34.079> young<00:42:34.400> adult
really caught in that very young adult
really caught in that very young adult
phase.<00:42:35.200> So<00:42:35.359> I<00:42:35.599> think<00:42:35.839> emotionally<00:42:36.400> he<00:42:36.640> is<00:42:36.880> kind
phase. So I think emotionally he is kind
phase. So I think emotionally he is kind
of<00:42:37.119> a<00:42:37.359> child<00:42:37.760> still.
of a child still.
of a child still.
Yeah.<00:42:39.040> And<00:42:39.280> so<00:42:39.760> doing<00:42:40.079> that<00:42:40.400> like<00:42:41.440> coloring,
Yeah. And so doing that like coloring,
Yeah. And so doing that like coloring,
watercolors,<00:42:43.680> painting,<00:42:44.319> running,
watercolors, painting, running,
watercolors, painting, running,
yoga,<00:42:46.800> journaling,<00:42:47.359> whatever<00:42:47.680> it<00:42:47.839> is<00:42:48.880> that
yoga, journaling, whatever it is that
yoga, journaling, whatever it is that
just<00:42:49.520> allows<00:42:50.000> him<00:42:50.240> to<00:42:50.880> process<00:42:51.359> and<00:42:51.680> be<00:42:51.920> in<00:42:52.160> a
just allows him to process and be in a
just allows him to process and be in a
moment<00:42:53.599> calmly<00:42:54.079> by<00:42:54.400> himself.
moment calmly by himself.
moment calmly by himself.
I<00:42:56.400> think<00:42:56.560> will<00:42:56.800> be<00:42:57.040> very<00:42:57.280> important<00:42:57.920> because
I think will be very important because
I think will be very important because
it<00:42:58.480> teaches<00:42:58.880> him
it teaches him
it teaches him
how<00:43:00.720> to<00:43:01.839> stop.
how to stop.
how to stop.
Yeah.<00:43:02.960> how<00:43:03.200> to<00:43:03.440> not<00:43:03.760> just<00:43:04.240> react<00:43:04.640> to<00:43:04.960> things
Yeah. how to not just react to things
Yeah. how to not just react to things
because<00:43:05.920> I<00:43:06.079> think<00:43:06.240> this<00:43:06.480> whole<00:43:06.640> book<00:43:06.800> is<00:43:07.040> just
because I think this whole book is just
because I think this whole book is just
a<00:43:07.440> big<00:43:07.680> aer<00:43:08.160> reaction<00:43:08.960> and<00:43:09.200> it's<00:43:09.440> blown<00:43:09.680> up<00:43:09.760> in
a big aer reaction and it's blown up in
a big aer reaction and it's blown up in
his<00:43:10.160> face<00:43:10.400> now.
his face now.
his face now.
Yeah.<00:43:12.079> All<00:43:12.240> of<00:43:12.319> it<00:43:12.560> was<00:43:12.720> out<00:43:12.880> of<00:43:13.680> reaction.<00:43:14.400> I
Yeah. All of it was out of reaction. I
Yeah. All of it was out of reaction. I
mean<00:43:14.720> the<00:43:14.960> moment<00:43:15.440> he<00:43:15.680> saw<00:43:15.920> her,
mean the moment he saw her,
mean the moment he saw her,
not<00:43:16.880> once<00:43:17.200> did<00:43:17.440> he<00:43:18.160> process.
not once did he process.
not once did he process.
No,
No,
No,
it<00:43:20.079> was<00:43:20.240> go<00:43:20.560> go<00:43:20.560> go<00:43:20.960> after<00:43:21.200> that.
it was go go go after that.
it was go go go after that.
And<00:43:22.000> so<00:43:22.240> many<00:43:22.480> people<00:43:22.720> were<00:43:23.040> like
And so many people were like
And so many people were like
take<00:43:24.560> a<00:43:24.800> second.
take a second.
take a second.
Yeah.<00:43:26.400> Yeah.<00:43:26.880> So,<00:43:27.119> I<00:43:27.359> think<00:43:27.520> that's<00:43:28.000> that's
Yeah. Yeah. So, I think that's that's
Yeah. Yeah. So, I think that's that's
important<00:43:28.640> for<00:43:28.880> him<00:43:29.040> is<00:43:29.280> he<00:43:29.440> really<00:43:29.680> needs<00:43:29.839> to
important for him is he really needs to
important for him is he really needs to
learn<00:43:30.160> some<00:43:30.319> mindfulness<00:43:30.880> activities<00:43:31.359> as
learn some mindfulness activities as
learn some mindfulness activities as
part<00:43:31.760> of<00:43:31.920> his<00:43:32.160> self-care<00:43:32.800> plan.
part of his self-care plan.
part of his self-care plan.
Um,<00:43:34.480> and<00:43:34.800> set<00:43:35.040> boundaries<00:43:35.440> with<00:43:35.680> those.
Um, and set boundaries with those.
Um, and set boundaries with those.
So,<00:43:38.640> I'm<00:43:38.960> going<00:43:39.040> to<00:43:39.520> I'm<00:43:39.760> going<00:43:39.920> to<00:43:40.160> I<00:43:40.400> think<00:43:40.560> we
So, I'm going to I'm going to I think we
So, I'm going to I'm going to I think we
we<00:43:41.680> covered<00:43:42.000> a<00:43:42.240> lot.<00:43:43.119> You<00:43:43.280> know,<00:43:43.440> we<00:43:43.680> gave<00:43:43.839> you
we covered a lot. You know, we gave you
we covered a lot. You know, we gave you
a<00:43:44.240> synopsis.<00:43:45.040> We<00:43:45.280> told<00:43:45.440> you<00:43:45.760> our<00:43:46.000> thoughts<00:43:46.160> and
a synopsis. We told you our thoughts and
a synopsis. We told you our thoughts and
our<00:43:46.480> feelings<00:43:46.800> how<00:43:46.960> we<00:43:47.119> would<00:43:47.359> cancel
our feelings how we would cancel
our feelings how we would cancel
counsel.<00:43:48.720> Excuse<00:43:49.040> me.
counsel. Excuse me.
counsel. Excuse me.
Cancel.
Cancel.
Cancel.
Not<00:43:50.560> cancel.
Not cancel.
Not cancel.
Yeah.<00:43:52.880> No,<00:43:53.280> I<00:43:53.440> don't<00:43:53.599> know.
Yeah. No, I don't know.
Yeah. No, I don't know.
we'll<00:43:55.280> get<00:43:55.599> how<00:43:55.839> how<00:43:56.079> we<00:43:56.319> would<00:43:56.480> counsel<00:43:57.040> Aker
we'll get how how we would counsel Aker
we'll get how how we would counsel Aker
and<00:43:57.760> just<00:43:58.000> through<00:43:58.240> acceptance<00:43:58.720> and
and just through acceptance and
and just through acceptance and
commitment<00:43:59.280> therapy<00:43:59.680> and<00:43:59.920> I<00:44:00.160> think<00:44:01.200> given
commitment therapy and I think given
commitment therapy and I think given
some<00:44:01.760> mindfulness<00:44:02.319> strategies<00:44:03.040> some<00:44:03.280> choice
some mindfulness strategies some choice
some mindfulness strategies some choice
points<00:44:04.800> uh<00:44:04.880> or<00:44:05.119> how<00:44:05.280> to<00:44:05.440> utilize<00:44:05.760> choice
points uh or how to utilize choice
points uh or how to utilize choice
points<00:44:06.319> in<00:44:06.480> your<00:44:06.640> own<00:44:06.880> life<00:44:07.200> how<00:44:07.359> to<00:44:07.520> set
points in your own life how to set
points in your own life how to set
boundaries<00:44:08.079> in<00:44:08.319> your<00:44:08.480> own<00:44:08.640> life<00:44:09.280> but<00:44:09.599> really
boundaries in your own life but really
boundaries in your own life but really
this<00:44:10.960> is<00:44:11.119> the<00:44:11.359> heart<00:44:12.000> of<00:44:12.240> why<00:44:12.480> we<00:44:12.720> do<00:44:12.880> this<00:44:14.240> is
this is the heart of why we do this is
this is the heart of why we do this is
he<00:44:14.800> hot<00:44:16.160> or<00:44:16.400> is<00:44:16.640> it<00:44:16.800> trauma
he hot or is it trauma
he hot or is it trauma
can<00:44:18.960> I<00:44:19.119> say<00:44:19.359> both
can I say both
can I say both
it's<00:44:21.200> definitely<00:44:22.319> trauma
it's definitely trauma
it's definitely trauma
But
But
But
he's<00:44:27.440> also<00:44:27.839> really<00:44:28.160> hot.
he's also really hot.
he's also really hot.
I<00:44:28.720> think<00:44:28.800> he's<00:44:29.119> hot<00:44:29.280> and<00:44:29.520> he<00:44:29.760> has<00:44:29.920> trauma.
I think he's hot and he has trauma.
I think he's hot and he has trauma.
Initially,<00:44:32.000> initial<00:44:33.040> initially.<00:44:34.240> There<00:44:34.480> we
Initially, initial initially. There we
Initially, initial initially. There we
go.<00:44:35.200> I<00:44:35.440> was<00:44:35.599> really<00:44:35.839> annoyed<00:44:36.079> with<00:44:36.240> him<00:44:36.400> as<00:44:36.640> a
go. I was really annoyed with him as a
go. I was really annoyed with him as a
character<00:44:37.920> because<00:44:38.319> I<00:44:38.560> think<00:44:38.720> he's<00:44:39.040> way<00:44:39.200> too
character because I think he's way too
character because I think he's way too
overprotective,<00:44:40.480> way<00:44:40.720> too<00:44:40.880> hotheaded.
overprotective, way too hotheaded.
overprotective, way too hotheaded.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Way<00:44:42.880> too<00:44:43.040> immature.<00:44:43.599> Like<00:44:43.760> I<00:44:44.000> think<00:44:44.079> he's<00:44:44.480> very
Way too immature. Like I think he's very
Way too immature. Like I think he's very
immature.
immature.
immature.
But<00:44:46.319> also
But also
But also
he's<00:44:48.319> hot.<00:44:49.040> Like<00:44:49.280> I<00:44:49.520> can't<00:44:49.760> describe.<00:44:50.240> Like
he's hot. Like I can't describe. Like
he's hot. Like I can't describe. Like
you<00:44:50.640> read<00:44:50.800> the<00:44:50.960> book<00:44:51.119> and<00:44:51.359> you're<00:44:51.599> like,
you read the book and you're like,
you read the book and you're like,
"Dang,<00:44:53.280> that<00:44:53.520> would<00:44:53.680> work<00:44:53.839> on<00:44:54.000> me."
"Dang, that would work on me."
"Dang, that would work on me."
Yeah.<00:44:54.640> I'm<00:44:54.880> like,<00:44:54.880> "Wow,<00:44:55.280> that
Yeah. I'm like, "Wow, that
Yeah. I'm like, "Wow, that
protectiveness<00:44:56.640> I<00:44:56.880> would<00:44:57.200> fold."
protectiveness I would fold."
protectiveness I would fold."
And<00:44:58.720> he's<00:44:59.040> never<00:44:59.359> experienced<00:45:00.000> real
And he's never experienced real
And he's never experienced real
consequences<00:45:00.880> for<00:45:01.200> his<00:45:01.359> actions.
consequences for his actions.
consequences for his actions.
No.
No.
No.
Until<00:45:03.119> now.<00:45:04.160> So,<00:45:04.319> I'm<00:45:04.560> also<00:45:04.880> like<00:45:05.920> he's
Until now. So, I'm also like he's
Until now. So, I'm also like he's
probably<00:45:06.400> going<00:45:06.560> to<00:45:06.640> get<00:45:06.800> hotter<00:45:07.119> as<00:45:07.280> a<00:45:07.520> he's
probably going to get hotter as a he's
probably going to get hotter as a he's
his<00:45:08.079> personality<00:45:08.480> is<00:45:08.720> probably<00:45:09.040> going<00:45:09.119> to
his personality is probably going to
his personality is probably going to
become<00:45:10.720> better.
become better.
become better.
I<00:45:11.599> hope<00:45:11.760> he<00:45:11.920> has<00:45:12.000> a<00:45:12.160> lot<00:45:12.240> of<00:45:12.400> character<00:45:12.720> growth
I hope he has a lot of character growth
I hope he has a lot of character growth
because<00:45:13.280> if<00:45:13.520> he<00:45:13.680> does,
because if he does,
because if he does,
watch<00:45:15.599> out.<00:45:16.640> Watch<00:45:16.960> out.
watch out. Watch out.
watch out. Watch out.
I'm<00:45:17.760> a<00:45:17.920> fold.
I'm a fold.
I'm a fold.
I'm<00:45:19.520> um
I'm um
I'm um
he's<00:45:22.160> trauma,<00:45:22.640> but<00:45:22.880> I<00:45:23.040> will<00:45:23.200> say<00:45:23.440> I<00:45:23.680> wouldn't
he's trauma, but I will say I wouldn't
he's trauma, but I will say I wouldn't
want<00:45:24.079> my<00:45:24.240> friend<00:45:24.400> to<00:45:24.560> date<00:45:24.720> him.
want my friend to date him.
want my friend to date him.
Looking<00:45:26.800> at<00:45:26.960> you.
Looking at you.
Looking at you.
I<00:45:28.800> was<00:45:28.960> literally<00:45:29.200> about<00:45:29.359> to<00:45:29.440> say<00:45:29.680> I<00:45:29.839> would
I was literally about to say I would
I was literally about to say I would
date<00:45:30.240> him.
date him.
date him.
I<00:45:30.640> know<00:45:30.800> you<00:45:30.960> would.<00:45:31.680> I<00:45:31.920> was<00:45:32.079> like<00:45:32.400> he's<00:45:32.800> really
I know you would. I was like he's really
I know you would. I was like he's really
attractive.<00:45:34.319> He<00:45:34.560> is<00:45:34.800> not<00:45:35.200> emotionally<00:45:35.839> mature
attractive. He is not emotionally mature
attractive. He is not emotionally mature
enough<00:45:36.400> to<00:45:36.640> be<00:45:36.800> a<00:45:36.960> good<00:45:37.119> boyfriend.
enough to be a good boyfriend.
enough to be a good boyfriend.
No,
No,
No,
I<00:45:38.480> think<00:45:38.640> he<00:45:38.880> would<00:45:39.119> try.
I think he would try.
I think he would try.
But<00:45:41.599> as<00:45:41.839> you've<00:45:42.000> read<00:45:42.160> in<00:45:42.319> this<00:45:42.480> book,<00:45:42.720> like<00:45:43.040> he
But as you've read in this book, like he
But as you've read in this book, like he
he's<00:45:44.960> he's<00:45:45.359> in<00:45:45.520> this<00:45:45.680> for<00:45:45.920> himself,<00:45:46.720> not
he's he's in this for himself, not
he's he's in this for himself, not
necessarily<00:45:47.440> for<00:45:47.599> the<00:45:47.839> relationship.<00:45:48.640> He
necessarily for the relationship. He
necessarily for the relationship. He
just<00:45:49.119> wants<00:45:49.359> the<00:45:49.680> relationship.<00:45:50.240> So<00:45:50.400> I<00:45:50.560> think
just wants the relationship. So I think
just wants the relationship. So I think
there's<00:45:50.880> a<00:45:51.119> lot<00:45:51.200> of
there's a lot of
there's a lot of
me<00:45:52.480> me.
me me.
me me.
Not<00:45:53.680> a<00:45:53.839> good<00:45:54.000> boyfriend.
Not a good boyfriend.
Not a good boyfriend.
Would<00:45:55.760> not<00:45:55.920> recommend<00:45:56.319> my<00:45:56.560> friend<00:45:56.800> dating
Would not recommend my friend dating
Would not recommend my friend dating
him.
him.
him.
Buddy<00:46:00.079> hot.
Buddy hot.
Buddy hot.
Buddy's<00:46:00.800> hot.
Buddy's hot.
Buddy's hot.
Buddy's<00:46:01.359> hot.<00:46:01.680> Yeah.<00:46:02.160> So<00:46:02.880> my<00:46:03.119> flag<00:46:03.440> rating<00:46:04.560> for
Buddy's hot. Yeah. So my flag rating for
Buddy's hot. Yeah. So my flag rating for
all<00:46:05.040> y'all<00:46:05.359> out<00:46:05.520> there,<00:46:05.920> I<00:46:06.160> give<00:46:06.319> it<00:46:06.480> four<00:46:06.800> red
all y'all out there, I give it four red
all y'all out there, I give it four red
flags.
flags.
flags.
So<00:46:09.119> interesting,<00:46:09.680> unique,<00:46:10.400> big<00:46:10.640> trouble.<00:46:11.280> If
So interesting, unique, big trouble. If
So interesting, unique, big trouble. If
you're<00:46:11.599> reading<00:46:11.839> this<00:46:12.079> book,<00:46:12.319> you're<00:46:12.480> going
you're reading this book, you're going
you're reading this book, you're going
to<00:46:12.640> be<00:46:12.800> feeling<00:46:13.200> things.<00:46:14.240> And<00:46:14.400> if<00:46:14.640> you<00:46:14.720> want<00:46:14.880> to
to be feeling things. And if you want to
to be feeling things. And if you want to
feel<00:46:15.359> things,<00:46:16.240> this<00:46:16.480> one's<00:46:16.720> for<00:46:16.880> you.<00:46:17.200> So,
feel things, this one's for you. So,
feel things, this one's for you. So,
it's<00:46:17.520> a<00:46:17.680> good<00:46:17.920> read,<00:46:18.319> but<00:46:19.280> this<00:46:19.520> character<00:46:19.839> is
it's a good read, but this character is
it's a good read, but this character is
a<00:46:20.160> red<00:46:20.319> flag.<00:46:21.440> Yeah,<00:46:22.079> I<00:46:22.720> also<00:46:23.119> give<00:46:23.359> it<00:46:24.319> four
a red flag. Yeah, I also give it four
a red flag. Yeah, I also give it four
red<00:46:24.880> flags.<00:46:25.920> Unfortunately,<00:46:26.560> again,<00:46:26.960> he's
red flags. Unfortunately, again, he's
red flags. Unfortunately, again, he's
really<00:46:27.599> hot.
really hot.
really hot.
He's<00:46:28.400> so<00:46:28.560> hot.
He's so hot.
He's so hot.
He's<00:46:29.119> so<00:46:29.359> hot.<00:46:30.000> But
He's so hot. But
He's so hot. But
this<00:46:31.119> is<00:46:31.200> why<00:46:31.359> we<00:46:31.599> have<00:46:31.680> to<00:46:31.839> do<00:46:32.000> this.
this is why we have to do this.
this is why we have to do this.
So<00:46:32.800> much<00:46:33.680> do<00:46:33.920> not<00:46:34.079> date<00:46:34.400> this<00:46:34.640> guy.
So much do not date this guy.
So much do not date this guy.
He<00:46:35.359> has<00:46:35.520> a<00:46:35.680> lot<00:46:35.839> of<00:46:36.000> He<00:46:36.240> has<00:46:36.400> a<00:46:36.560> lot<00:46:36.640> of<00:46:36.800> growth
He has a lot of He has a lot of growth
He has a lot of He has a lot of growth
ahead<00:46:37.520> of<00:46:37.680> him.<00:46:38.240> And<00:46:38.480> I<00:46:38.720> hope<00:46:39.680> he<00:46:39.920> gets<00:46:40.160> to<00:46:40.400> the
ahead of him. And I hope he gets to the
ahead of him. And I hope he gets to the
point<00:46:40.880> that<00:46:41.119> he<00:46:41.359> needs<00:46:41.520> to<00:46:41.680> be<00:46:41.839> at.
point that he needs to be at.
point that he needs to be at.
So<00:46:42.720> if<00:46:43.040> you<00:46:43.359> are<00:46:43.520> out<00:46:43.760> there<00:46:43.920> and<00:46:44.160> you're<00:46:44.319> like,
So if you are out there and you're like,
So if you are out there and you're like,
"But<00:46:44.720> this<00:46:44.960> sounds<00:46:45.200> just<00:46:45.520> like<00:46:45.760> my<00:46:46.079> crush<00:46:46.880> and
"But this sounds just like my crush and
"But this sounds just like my crush and
I<00:46:47.359> read<00:46:47.599> this<00:46:47.839> and<00:46:48.079> I<00:46:48.240> want<00:46:48.400> to<00:46:48.480> date<00:46:48.720> a<00:46:48.880> guy
I read this and I want to date a guy
I read this and I want to date a guy
just<00:46:49.280> like<00:46:49.440> this."<00:46:49.839> Don't<00:46:50.480> Don't<00:46:50.800> do<00:46:50.960> it.
just like this." Don't Don't do it.
just like this." Don't Don't do it.
Let<00:46:52.240> him<00:46:52.400> grow.<00:46:53.119> Let<00:46:53.359> him<00:46:53.680> grow.
Let him grow. Let him grow.
Let him grow. Let him grow.
We<00:46:54.480> date<00:46:54.800> mature,<00:46:56.160> emotionally<00:46:56.720> available
We date mature, emotionally available
We date mature, emotionally available
men.<00:46:59.040> Let<00:46:59.280> him<00:46:59.520> go.<00:47:00.160> Let<00:47:00.319> him<00:47:00.640> grow.<00:47:01.119> And<00:47:01.359> if<00:47:01.520> he
men. Let him go. Let him grow. And if he
men. Let him go. Let him grow. And if he
changes,<00:47:02.560> then<00:47:02.800> you<00:47:02.960> can<00:47:03.119> date<00:47:03.280> him<00:47:03.440> cuz<00:47:03.599> he<00:47:03.760> is
changes, then you can date him cuz he is
changes, then you can date him cuz he is
hot.<00:47:04.319> Perr.<00:47:04.960> But<00:47:05.200> we<00:47:05.359> date<00:47:05.599> mature,
hot. Perr. But we date mature,
hot. Perr. But we date mature,
emotionally<00:47:07.280> available<00:47:08.000> men.
emotionally available men.
emotionally available men.
All right.<00:47:10.560> Stay<00:47:10.880> reading.<00:47:11.760> Stay<00:47:12.000> reading.