Bill and Megan explore the complex issue of relationship violence, focusing on factors that may predict aggressive behaviors and how to identify potentially abusive relationships. In this first part of a two-part discussion, they examine relationship violence through the lens of adult intimate partner relationships. The second part will focus specifically on teen dating violence. Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on.
Questions we answer in this episode:
- What personality disorders or traits are associated with an increased risk for domestic violence?
- How can you spot early warning signs of a potentially abusive partner?
- What is coercive control and how does it relate to domestic violence?
- What happens in the brain when someone lacks impulse control?
- How can we avoid “jamming our own radar” in relationships?
Key Takeaways:
- Not everyone with a personality disorder will become abusive, but certain disorders like antisocial and borderline PD are risk factors.
- Pay attention to charm, immediate strong attachment, and “love bombing” as possible red flags when dating.
- Coercive control refers to non-physical ways an abuser maintains power, like isolation, verbal threats, financial control.
- Impulse control problems may stem from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex or traumatic childhood experiences.
- Going through personal crises or having unrealistic relationship expectations can blind us to warning signs.
In part one of this vital two-part discussion, Bill and Megan provide research-informed insights to help us understand the roots of relationship violence and identify unhealthy patterns early on. Tune in to gain knowledge that could help you or someone you care about build healthy, safe relationships.
Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (00:35) - Relationship Violence Part 1: Adults
- (02:50) - Survey Results
- (08:19) - What Jams Our Radar?
- (14:00) - Impulse Control
- (19:48) - Factors in Violent Tendencies
- (28:58) - Domestic Violence in Family Law
- (33:52) - How Do You Know You’re in a Domestic Violence Relationship?
- (35:48) - Coercive Controlling Violence
- (39:52) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Relationship Violence Part 2: Teens
What is It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People?
Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!
Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?
In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.
And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.