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If you feel like you're not good enough to mentor, you're in good company. So many of the Bible's characters had serious character flaws. Peter denied Jesus three times, even after adamantly telling the Lord that he would never do so. Moses was a murderer. David, a man after God's own heart, was a murderer and an adulterer. At the end of the day, we're all broken people; and yet God still can and does use us. Time and time again, both in the Bible and in our current time, God uses the most unlikely people for the greatest impacts. The same holds true for mentoring. You may feel like you're not qualified to mentor, but the truth is none of us are. God still uses us anyways. Zach is back with John this week to talk through lies that mentors believe, and encourage you with the biblical truths that counteract those lies.
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Hey, mentors. Just a reminder about the You Can Mentor book. It's titled You Can Mentor, How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses. The whole point of this book is to equip and encourage mentors with new tools and ideas on how to make the most of their mentor mentee relationship. If you're a mentor, hey, go pick it up.
Speaker 2:And if you're a mentoring organization, pick some up for all of your mentors. If you would like to order mass copies, like more than 20, send an email to me, zach@youcanmentor.com, and we will get you guys a special price. But go and pick up that book. It's good. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Hello, mentor. Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast. I'm Zach, and this is John.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Boy, howdy. Zach? Boy, howdy. That was my that's one of my intros that I'm shopping.
Speaker 3:Boy, howdy. Boy, howdy, Zach.
Speaker 4:With the x with the extended o?
Speaker 3:It started with the m.
Speaker 2:I could tell. Yeah. Boy, howdy.
Speaker 4:Just kinda flows into it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I thought, like, on a t shirt, if you saw somebody in urban Seattle coming down the street and it said, boy, howdy, Zach, you'd know, oh, you can mentor. You're you're you're a listener? It's terrible. You don't like that?
Speaker 4:Alright. That's a terrible idea. K.
Speaker 3:Well, the thing is I'm so excited for us to be talking today. As many of our listeners know, I've been able to record some podcasts lately
Speaker 2:By yourself.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And you guys, listen. I'm so happy to be able to do this, but when Zach says, hey, John, go into your very cold home office and record these episodes alone
Speaker 2:Not what I say.
Speaker 3:It has not been easy.
Speaker 2:That's not what I say.
Speaker 4:That's not
Speaker 2:what we I say go find someone to interview.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And you don't, and so you have to do podcasts by yourself.
Speaker 3:My home office is so cold, sir.
Speaker 2:Your home office is cold. And by home office, it's basically a shed.
Speaker 3:The shop. Now wait a minute. You're you're making the listener think of a mental image that is is unappeasing kinda like my van.
Speaker 2:That's true. It's a shop.
Speaker 3:It's it's a nice shop, though.
Speaker 2:It's a shop with a people don't wanna know this. Why are we talking about this?
Speaker 3:They do wanna know it. They they need to know that you can see your breath and that I've been relegated into that shop to record these episodes for you, my friend. And that's why I'm so happy. What the reason why I wanted to share that is though I'm so happy now as we sit across the table from one another enjoying oikos. Oikos.
Speaker 3:This is yes.
Speaker 2:That sounds like my yogurt. It's
Speaker 3:I think it is actually. No.
Speaker 2:I think that's oikos.
Speaker 3:Well, this also has the it this is also filled with nutrients.
Speaker 4:I see what you did there. That was good.
Speaker 3:Zach, what are we talking about today?
Speaker 4:I don't even know anymore. I don't even know.
Speaker 3:I'm so excited about this.
Speaker 4:You tell us.
Speaker 3:Friends, today up today's episode is reframe, redeem, restore. Oh god.
Speaker 4:I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please continue.
Speaker 3:Ref
Speaker 4:You got me with the nutrients. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Okay. Are we ready? Yes. Sorry.
Speaker 3:Reframe, redeem, restore. How God chooses broken people to advance his kingdom.
Speaker 2:So I was reading the Bible the other day because that's what I do because I'm a good Christian. Mhmm. And I was in John. I think I was in John, maybe. And this is like fresh off of watching The Chosen, which I talk about it a lot.
Speaker 2:I do. John doesn't believe in The Chosen. He thinks it's not godly. I think it is very godly.
Speaker 3:Everyone, I made a little joke about The Chosen, but I do wanna say this. I have yet to watch it, and I I'm really looking forward to watching it. Once I finish 1923 on Paramount Plus, I'm gonna hop right over to The Chosen.
Speaker 2:You couldn't be more like, those 2 those 2 shows are not the same.
Speaker 3:You're you're you're saying that 1923 is not the sequel to The Chosen? No. It's not. Okay.
Speaker 2:And so, but I am just maybe it's because I'm a creative guy. I just love seeing these disciples who are just goobers and just God is choosing them. And I know it says in the Bible that God chose them out of nowhere, they weren't qualified, but to see it, it's doing something to me, and it's good. And so I was I'm just astonished that God would choose people who are ill equipped, who are not qualified, who are just normal average Joes to be the most important people advancing his kingdom. It doesn't make sense to me.
Speaker 3:No kidding.
Speaker 2:And I am reading this and then I'm watching how just through these people all of these amazing things are happening in the name of Jesus and the world is changing. People's lives are being totally turned upside down and I think about my life and I think about people in the Bible and just all of us are broken vessels, are broken people that God, for some reason, I don't know why, chooses to use. Yeah. Doesn't make sense?
Speaker 3:No kidding. It's true.
Speaker 2:Just I'm just flabbergasted.
Speaker 3:It's a good word. Great word, man. And, you know, you think about it because what do we when we think about people from the bible that god uses, it's almost like we go back to some of that maybe that children's ministry, you know, ideology, which is to kinda have, like, the felt board characters. We might even call them heroes of the faith. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Right? So if we're not careful, even as we think about this as as adults, we begin to think about these people as as, again, storylines as opposed to flesh and blood. And so that kinda hamstrings us at times, I think, to be able to relate well to them to understand that the these aren't cartoon characters. They aren't superheroes. They're people just like you and me, but god used them in really important ways.
Speaker 2:And I think as I grow older, I'm just I'm taken taken aback by taken aback, not taken aback. I'm taken aback Yeah. By just how normal these people
Speaker 3:are. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And I really love King David, and it just blows my mind that God calls David a man after God's own heart, and yet he was a murderer, and he was an adulterer. And, yeah, he got some things right, but, man, he got some things wrong.
Speaker 3:Yeah. No kidding, man.
Speaker 2:And that just makes me think, like, how can this guy, who made some really big mistakes like, I can't I can I I would have a hard time thinking of 2 bigger mistakes than killing a man and cheating on your wife? Like, those are those are big boys. Right. And yet god still chooses them.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. And you'd almost think, like, hey, that moniker, you know, that jacket that he had that said man after god's own heart or maybe it was on his desk. You think, man, well, like, does he get disqualified because of these things, though? Like, how can he be?
Speaker 3:How can he truly be a man after god's own heart with with these in his file?
Speaker 2:I would disqualify him. Right. Like, King David wouldn't be able to sit on my board.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or he wouldn't be a part of my small group.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Because and I would probably try to keep all of my kids away from him.
Speaker 3:Yeah. His show would get canceled.
Speaker 2:His show would get canceled for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. Who else in the Bible can we kinda think about in this in this way?
Speaker 2:Well, John, there's a lot of them. It's almost like we have a paper full of them in front of us.
Speaker 3:Man, if we had that, that would be incredible. What would this paper list on it?
Speaker 2:Well, perhaps it would say something along the lines of, what about Peter? Like, Peter straight up denied Jesus three times.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:After being with him. After following him for years. Yeah. Some guy's like, hey, man. Didn't I see you with Jesus?
Speaker 2:Like, no, man. Not me. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no.
Speaker 3:He was warming his hands by the fire. Right?
Speaker 2:Just I don't know. I haven't gotten to that episode of The Chosen yet.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's kinda how I picture it. You know, like, one of those 55 gallon drums with a fire inside, you know, and and Peter walks up to it, and he's he's warming his hands and some and some is like, hey. Hey. Wait a minute. Haven't I seen you?
Speaker 3:And he's like, no, man. That wasn't me.
Speaker 2:Is that what you
Speaker 3:envision? I don't
Speaker 2:think there were trash can fires in Jesus' day.
Speaker 3:That's rocky. I'm thinking about rocky. I'm sorry. That's right. Alright.
Speaker 3:You know, when you think about people in the bible, do you kinda think chronologically, or do you think like the people that made the biggest goofs? You know?
Speaker 2:I think about the people who made Okay. The biggest goofs. Well and does that go hand in hand with the people who had the biggest impact? Like Noah, the dude built an ark before there was rain.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And yet he got drunk and got naked one night because
Speaker 3:he got too crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And then there was Abraham, like the father of it all. Yeah. And he didn't believe that his wife would get pregnant. Mhmm. He didn't believe anything.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. He was like, me? No way.
Speaker 3:And he was actually so frightened of getting found out that what he he called his wife his sister Yes. Because he was worried. Just fear.
Speaker 2:And then there was Moses. The dude killed a man with his bare hands Mhmm. Like a like a tiger. Like a puma. Like a p Moses the puma.
Speaker 2:That was weird.
Speaker 3:If I had if I had a pet just real quick, side note. If I had a pet puma, I'd probably name it Moses.
Speaker 2:Because that's what Moses did. He killed me with his bare hands. You've got Mary. I mean, it says in Mark 16:9 Yeah. That she had 7 demons.
Speaker 3:Mary Magdalene?
Speaker 2:Yes. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. And then, I mean, Paul killed Christians.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Straight up.
Speaker 2:That's a big deal.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Who else? Ironic. That in the name of God Don't you think? He would do this.
Speaker 3:Right?
Speaker 2:And then we got Rahab, which I know that you like Rahab.
Speaker 3:What did she do? She was a prostitute. Everybody, that was my contribution, Rahab, because I wanted to talk about her. I wanted to talk about her. And then Zach said firmly, but but I think gently, no.
Speaker 3:Let's stick to the all stars, he said. Let's stick to the all stars in the face. And I was like, woah. Woah. Woah.
Speaker 3:Up to that point, I feel I feel like he had mentioned nothing but men men names. And I was like, who's gonna represent
Speaker 2:Don't put that on me.
Speaker 3:Don't And I thought I'm going to.
Speaker 2:Don't put that on me. You just put me in a box. Boy, how do you I don't appreciate it.
Speaker 3:I'm just teasing, my friend.
Speaker 2:Okay. So the bottom line is God chooses broken people to advance his kingdom in some pretty spectacular ways. 1, he chooses them to advance his kingdom in spectacular ways. But 2, they are spectacularly broken. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, and whenever I look at my stuff, I'm like, man, comparing to them, I'm doing all right. Like, yeah, I might lie. I might say a bad word. I might, you know, have too much wine on a Saturday night perhaps from time to time. But I'm not killing a guy.
Speaker 2:Right. And I'm not, you know, I'm not a prostitute. Mhmm. But I just think it's so amazing how kind of the Lord, how grace filled of the Lord it is for him to use people like us to advance his kingdom.
Speaker 3:I agree. And, you know, we do think about the fact that, yes, we have not maybe go gone to the extremes of some of these people in scripture. And yet I would also add, how quick are we to criticize ourselves or how how quick are we to disqualify ourselves from speaking truth, from investing in? And again, I think that's why it's so important of what we're talking about this morning.
Speaker 2:I know if I was God, I would for sure turn my back on all of these people, and I would say you're disqualified, you're disqualified, you're disqualified. And yet I think about Jesus who knew, I mean, He knew that Judas was going to betray him. He knew that Peter was going to deny him. And yet He still had compassion. And yet He still kept them around.
Speaker 2:And yet He still loved them despite their brokenness. That's not what I would do, but thank God that that's what he does. So today, we're gonna talk about 5 things that being broken does to us as mentors, as leaders. Five truths, if you will. Five truths.
Speaker 2:So as you mentor your kid, as you kind of step into that realm of being someone who stands in the gap, someone who a kid might look up to, here are some things that you've got to know about you and about God and about what the enemy is trying to do to keep you from doing that. So number 1. John, go for it. First off,
Speaker 3:none of us, and I mean none
Speaker 2:of us, are qualified to lead. Not one. There's no such thing as a qualified mentor because we are all imperfect. And so if you are waiting to get your stuff together to mentor, I'm just telling you you're gonna be waiting forever because there's no such thing as perfect mentor.
Speaker 3:That's right. As scripture says, there's no one righteous, not even one. So when we know this, we have a keen awareness of our of our struggle and of our need. I think then we're able to see the righteousness of Christ.
Speaker 2:So it's not because of our righteousness. It's not because of all the good things that we've done, but instead it's because of His righteousness. I was reading a book by Henri Nouwen. I think it's called The Way of the Heart and it talks about our job in ministry, which specifically speaking our job as mentors is to point people to Jesus. And that's it.
Speaker 2:Just to point people to God, to the Holy Spirit, and to let Jesus in a relationship with him, let that lead out first and foremost. And I think that that is really I think that that speaks to me because I'm so busy trying to figure out what I'm going to do. Right? Oh, I need to give this advice. I need to have him read this book.
Speaker 2:I need to put him through this course. I need to introduce him to this person, but really, it could be just as simple as I just need to get them interacting with Jesus. I just need to point them to the Lord.
Speaker 3:No kidding.
Speaker 2:And I think that one thing that someone told me once that I say often is that God equips the called. He does not call the equipped. If you look at every single person that we talked about, if you think about the 12 disciples, not one of them was equipped, but they all were called. And in the calling, God gave them everything that they needed to do what he was calling them to do. And we can't forget that.
Speaker 3:No kidding.
Speaker 2:Because if God is calling you to mentor, then he is faithful. He who called you is faithful. What a crazy verse that is. He who called you is faithful. The question is, are we gonna step out in faith knowing that we are not qualified, trusting that he will qualify us in due time?
Speaker 2:I feel like I just kinda went off right there.
Speaker 3:No. That's good stuff, man.
Speaker 2:Good. Absolutely. Anything else there?
Speaker 3:No. I think that's got it.
Speaker 2:Number 2.
Speaker 3:Number 2 is that Satan truly wants to lie to you to keep you on the sidelines. So, John,
Speaker 2:if I could toss you the softball invitation to be vulnerable, perhaps. What are some of the lies that Satan tells you that might keep you on the sidelines in regards to investing into someone's life?
Speaker 3:Well, I can tell you this. This is what I I just feel like kinda continues to kinda come up in my own life time and time again. It's when I feel the need to teach or to invest in the life of someone else to help them kind of understand the truth of who they are in Christ. I go back to this word so often that I think is just so much from the enemy and that is that this this accusation against me which says that you know what? You're a hypocrite.
Speaker 3:Like, you you desire to say these things that are true and to reveal goodness to this person and yet look at your own life. You know, look at the decisions that you're making or look at where you are. Look where your mind is. Look what look how and that you failed this god that you claim to, you know, to be to serve and to be owned by, right, to be called little Christ in this way. And so I think that's just so important to remember that it's so easy for some of us who struggle with that of just not feeling worthy enough to live out this calling that guess what?
Speaker 3:You're not a hypocrite. You're actually a human. And so that frailty, that inconsistency, that is part of what makes you you. Right? That's it it's a differentiation between who I am and who my god is because he is consistent.
Speaker 3:I am inconsistent. Right? As scripture even says, he is faithful even in spite of my being unfaithful. So I miss the mark even still even still to this day, having known the Lord for as many decades now as I have. And yet I've got to remember that it's so easy to just take take in the enemy's lies that say I'm because I'm I'm not good enough.
Speaker 3:How dare me. Right? Even even attempt to invest in the life of another, and that's just simply not true. So much of that is based in fear. And so something that we remember about fear is that it yields us.
Speaker 3:Right? Fear fear stops us. When we walk into a doorway of a very dark room, what do we do? We stop because we're afraid of bumping into something. Alright?
Speaker 3:Fear keeps us from doing the thing that we know is often the right thing to do. It it will even keep us from doing the thing that we feel like god is telling us to do. And so we have that option to stay on the sidelines or to be active in the life of our mentee.
Speaker 2:I know for me, the main thing is I just even still, even to this day, I just fear that I don't have anything to offer, that it's gonna be a total waste of time. Like, when I think of mentoring a kid, whenever I think of stepping into their lives, spending time with them, spending an hour with them, taking taking them out to eat, I am just so fearful that I'm not gonna add any value. That I don't have anything to give, that they're not going to listen to me, that I'm not going to connect with them, or I'm not cool enough, or this or that, I still deal with that. Even though I I've had time and time and time and time again where God has proven that to be false. I still have to fight that lie because the enemy is a liar.
Speaker 2:That is what he does. He's the king of lies. He's the deceiver, and he's trying to get you to believe those lies so that you don't get into the game.
Speaker 3:You know, isn't it interesting that we I would I would say that we are a forgetful people. Right?
Speaker 2:Very much so.
Speaker 3:Even in our conversation today, you guys, we talked about how the people of god were instructed time and time again to build a monument for god's greatness after he performed a miracle Mhmm. So that people could come along later and even later generations and say, oh, yeah. The reason why this pile of rocks exists is because god did a wonder. So we are such a forgetful people in terms of god's grace, but I can tell you something. It's funny.
Speaker 3:It seems like I never forget a mistake that I make or a problem that I'm having or a situation. So it's funny that we are so prone to forget the good, but we never seem to forget some of these things that we choose to beat ourselves up about.
Speaker 2:Well, it's kinda like I'm a big I'm I'm a big fan of basketball, and someone once asked Michael Jordan how many shots he hit at the buzzer to win a game, and he couldn't tell you. But he could tell you every time that he missed. Mhmm. And I'm just like, that sounds like me. Like, I can't tell you whose life I've impacted positively, but I can tell you the, like, 7 times that it's just been super awkward, and I felt like a total loser.
Speaker 3:Right. No kidding. We keep a really good tally of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right? That's our next truth. The next truth is this. If everyone let their sin keep them from mentoring, we'd have no mentors.
Speaker 2:And I just got back from a weekend in Colorado where it was an intentional weekend with just a bunch of guys. There's about 30 of us. And we structured the weekend in such a way that we had about 8 older men, and we had about, you know, 15 guys in their thirties or forties, and then we had about 10 or 12 guys in their twenties or early thirties. So we kind of had like the Abrahams, the Isaacs, and the Jacobs, And it was a great weekend. It was really impactful.
Speaker 2:Holy Spirit moved. It was great. But one thing that I took away from that weekend was those 8 older men that we asked to come to kind of shepherd us, to lead us, to kind of cover us up. They were so honored by the fact that we thought that they had something to offer. And throughout the weekend, almost all of them said something to the something to the point of, I didn't think I had anything left to offer.
Speaker 2:And I think there are so many people out there who are older, who the lie that Satan's telling them is, you don't have anything to offer. You have messed up too much or you're not cool enough or you're not smart enough or whatever. And I just think about if everyone let their sin or the lies. I can say also this, lies. Keep them from mentoring, we would have no one.
Speaker 2:And in some ways, becoming a mentor is such an act of faith. Because you're saying, look, I don't know if I have anything to offer, but I do have faith that he who called us is faithful. And I do believe that if I can just show up in someone's life that God, you're gonna use that to advance your kingdom in some way. Because we need as many mentors out there as possible. That's kinda why we started this podcast because we believe that you can mentor.
Speaker 2:Everyone can mentor. Everyone. Because I believe that God is calling all of us to invest into the life of someone else. Because that's a form of discipleship. And so, yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's so, if we focus in on what we don't have, if we focus in on our own shortcomings, if we focus in on all the bad things, then no one's gonna step up. And I get it. That makes sense, but his ways are not our ways.
Speaker 3:True. So, hey, real quick. Let's just kinda let me interject a a quick practical theology
Speaker 4:kind of
Speaker 3:question here. Yes, Tom. Cool. Please. We're saying, you know, if if everybody let allowed their sin to kinda have that much power to just to just stop them in their tracks of mentoring and investing in the lives of others.
Speaker 3:But what about just give me real quick and and again, this this issue is bigger than that can be mentioned in this one moment. However, you know, when you have a mentee that says, hey, I've got a sin in my life. There's there's this thing that there's this this thought, this word, this action that is keeping me from God. How do I deal with it? What maybe just share the quick, like, process of what we should of how we we can deal with and how we can can ask God to take care of of maybe a habitual sin or just or something that we have done that that does not please him.
Speaker 2:So just so I'm clear, the mentee wants to know how to overcome some sin.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. So I I mean, I think asking good questions is a great way to start.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And I think, well, first and foremost, thanking them for opening up. Hey, thank you so much for sharing that with me. And then trying to empathize with them. What I hear you saying is this, you're dealing with x. Man, I can't imagine how hard that would be, especially in the face of peer pressure.
Speaker 2:If especially whenever all of your friends are doing it or especially whenever if you choose not to do this, then it's it'll cost you. So just kinda trying to paint the picture of what it is and then giving them encouragement for trying to do the right thing. Great.
Speaker 3:And they kinda did that maybe to begin with just in bringing it up. Right? That active confession? Oh, sure. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because that really what is what that is what that is to begin with. And that takes a lot of bravery.
Speaker 2:Anytime that, mentee opens up to you, I mean, they're kind of tossing a bid and they're saying, hey, how are you gonna handle this little thing that I show you? How are you gonna handle my sin or my questions or my doubts? And if that little bid is met with judgment, is met with condemnation, is met with advice, what are the what are they gonna do? They're shut down.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so
Speaker 2:the goal is kinda how can I keep this open as long as possible? Mhmm. And I think asking good questions is a great way to
Speaker 3:keep it open. So they share, and that asking questions kinda helps to maybe clarify. What do we do next? I mean, do we kind of make that a matter of prayer? Because what we're what we're hoping to do, right, is show that, hey.
Speaker 3:You're in process now. This is something that god has convicted your heart about. Yeah. You've confessed. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:So now we want to and you've shared that with me. What would be the next thing to do?
Speaker 2:What What do you think the Lord feels about that? And that's pointing them to Jesus. Right. Tell me what the Lord says about that. Well, I think he says, oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:How do you know that? Well, I feel it or it's in the Bible or I heard it somewhere And so, you're kind of the facilitator. You're the you're setting up the environment to where he or she you're kinda holding their hand, taking them to Jesus. And then, you let them, the Holy Spirit, God, Jesus, you let them minister to their heart, and you just kinda help make it happen. That's longer.
Speaker 2:It's riskier. It doesn't make sense, but it is, in my opinion, the best way for transformation. Mhmm. So That's great. The informational is only transformational whenever it's relational.
Speaker 2:So you're trying to give them this information, like, hey, like, don't have sex before marriage. But that informational is only transformational. It only connects whenever it's in the context of a relationship. You and them, and also, most importantly, them and God. And so how do you create that environment?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Cool. That's good stuff. And, you know, I think even just generally speaking, we know that what what what does sin do, it separates. Right?
Speaker 3:And it isolates. And so when we have this knowledge of sin in our own lives, we realize, you know what we have to do? We have to make this a matter of connection. My sin is has the potential to or it has already created an isolation. And so I wanna connect with someone else.
Speaker 3:I wanna stay connected to the Lord. So when we even teach this concept with our mentee, we're saying, thank you for sharing this with me. We now can pray about this. We can make this a matter of our conversation. As you said, Zach, that I think is so important, let me lead you now to the Lord, you know, and and let's pray about this together and let's let Holy Spirit work through this.
Speaker 3:And then after the fact, next time you meet, you know, throughout the week, you can say, hey, how are we doing with this issue? So that's where we can also offer that accountability. So what I see is it's just kinda connection at every stage. And so, again, sin breaks something and thankfully, the Lord is at work to keep us connected. So it's our brokenness that relates us to the broken, which is a pretty cool truth as well.
Speaker 2:Which is the the 4th point. That's right. So I see what you did there now.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You were leading into that 4th point.
Speaker 3:Yes. That's true. Our brokenness That
Speaker 2:was good. That was good.
Speaker 3:Is what makes it possible for us to relate to our mentee's brokenness. Right? As we understand, we are susceptible to sin. Our mentee is susceptible to sin. When they understand that, it's it's very powerful.
Speaker 2:You're not alone. You're not the only one who's fearful. You're not the only one who's insecure. You're not the only one who's dealing with anger. You're not the only one who's dealing with pride or lust or this or that.
Speaker 2:I have been there as well And not in like a one up way. Oh, yeah. Well, you're dealing with this. Well, whenever I was your aide, I walked uphill and snow both ways, and I had to carry a horse. But you are just trying to show them that you have experienced that as well.
Speaker 2:And so it's like, man, I know what it's like to to deal with peer pressure, and it's really hard. And by you sharing that, that lets them know that they're not alone. It lets them know that they're not crazy. It lets them know that they're not weak and that they have someone who's stepping into that junk with them to and when you have other people around you, that removes fear. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So talk about stories and how just important those are to this whole thing.
Speaker 3:You know, our story in life is going to be a story of brokenness. It just is because that's what life is full of, these missed opportunities and these struggles and these mistakes and this sin. And it's just real interesting that by human nature and by sometimes listening to the enemy, we feel like it's these very stories that disqualify us from mentoring, which is again, one reason why we're even talking about it today. But you guys, how important is it to realize that our story is what actually gains us power because of the process of God's work? So as you think about it this way, something breaks.
Speaker 3:Okay? That's what sin does. And you know what? When something breaks like a bone, we kinda hobble along for a while. We're injured.
Speaker 3:We are struggling. Then we allow the Lord to to heal us when we confess and when we repent of our sin. And at that point, we, you know, once we check out of that hospital, right, from that issue, from that story, well, we now have this really amazing timeline of an experience that we can then share with someone else. And that's what that's what actually adds a tool into our toolbox for a a mentorship to say the reason why I can sympathize with you, young person, because you're going through this struggle. Well, guess what?
Speaker 3:I went through this struggle as well. Maybe it was when I was your age, or maybe it was something that I that I've experienced even more recently, but it allows us to be able to speak truth, and it validates so much of our of our perspective because we have gone through that. And so our story gains power in that way.
Speaker 2:And I think this is what's so crazy, John, is we all experience breaks. All of us. All of us, life doesn't go as planned. So we all experience breaks and those breaks create hobbles. The thing that's so important is sometimes you can hobble along for a really long time, and the healing part only comes by way of relationship.
Speaker 2:You need someone to heal you up. You know, if you break a bone, you're gonna hobble your way to a doctor. And through that relationship, the doctor is gonna help you heal. And it's like these breaks create these hobbles, and the hobbles should force us into relationship either with other people, so your mentee coming to you and confessing this. That is them trying to heal from their hovel or them going to the the Lord and the Lord healing that hovel.
Speaker 2:But so often, it's them going to the mentor first, and the mentor helps walk them to the Lord to heal it up. And so it is it is it is in this thing of relationship. This world's gonna jack you up, man. Like, there's no one who gets out of here unscathed. No one.
Speaker 2:And what a great opportunity we have as mentors to help pick up a mentee when they've gotten beat down and to help through the context of relationship with other people and with the Lord, help heal them up.
Speaker 3:Man, I think that's so true. And I think this is another point of we don't have this written down, Zach, but I think that it's also important to know that for so so many times when we feel ourselves unqualified because we don't have the answer, even if we have the experience, we're thinking, well, you know what? I barely survived this issue myself. If I've got a mentee that's struggling with it, I just don't think I'm gonna have the answer for them. Well, guess what?
Speaker 3:What if you don't have to have the answer? But what if sometimes it is just a matter of realizing that it is 100% the Lord's work and what he's going to do in the in the act of as he redeems and as he works to restore? It's really our call to just sit with sometimes, Armenti, and say and even be able to confess, you know what? I don't know. I don't know what we're going to do here, but I know that that we're we are going to sit together in this.
Speaker 3:We are going to be together in this. And that in itself, even when it doesn't even when you don't kinda come up with that clever answer or that profound statement that fixes everything, that call of just being with and just saying, let's enter into this time together where we don't quite know what god is going to do, but we're gonna do it together.
Speaker 2:And in those moments of uncertainty, like, I had no idea, man. Right? What a great opportunity to pray. Mhmm. And, like, this has happened to me a couple times.
Speaker 2:Someone will come up to me, and they'll share something, and I'm like, I have no clue. I just do not know how to give an answer that's gonna give this person any kind of comfort. And I'm just like, hey. Can we pray about this? And so, you know, they'll say yes, and I'll put my hand on their shoulder and just give this little prayer.
Speaker 2:You know, dear God, would you please come and give us comfort and wisdom and da da da da. And my prayer is not anything crazy, and I look over and the person's crying. And it's just like, okay. Like, Lord, maybe you are up to something. And, like, maybe the best way to get someone into the presence of the Lord so the Lord can heal and can kind of guide their steps is just to pray for them.
Speaker 2:And I know that sounds simple. I know that sounds weird. I know that sounds like, well, that's just a Sunday school answer.
Speaker 3:Well,
Speaker 2:yeah. It is. But guess what? It works. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Because the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. So when you don't have the answer, and I'm gonna be honest, most most of the time I don't have the answer, and when I do think that I have the answer, that's maybe when I'm at the most danger. Mhmm. Because I tend to be kind of prideful. But, man, prayer is powerful, and the Lord's a lot better fill in the blank than we are.
Speaker 2:He's a better counselor. He's a better shepherd. He's a better healer. He's got the right answers. Everything he does is better than ours.
Speaker 3:100%. But how cool is
Speaker 2:it that our brokenness can help the mentees that are broken that we are in relationship with, it can provide some sense of comfort, some sense of community, some sense of you're not in this alone. It's not good for me to be alone, John. You're right about that.
Speaker 3:It forces us really to rely on God as our 5th truth. 5th truth. Truth number 5, our brokenness forces us to rely on God. I think about the you know, I think about Paul saying, man, I only got it when I realized that I didn't I didn't have it. Right?
Speaker 3:I was only strong when I was weak. And that is that there's that beautiful kind of paradox of our faith as Jesus taught time and time again, oh, you know, whoever's going to be least is the one that actually gonna be the greatest. Whoever's last is is gonna be first. And so we think about this. Well, gosh, how how am I, lord, how how can I be strongest in my faith?
Speaker 3:And to have the answer come back, well, why don't you be weakest in your ability?
Speaker 2:I just think sometimes the more I talk, the more I get myself in in just a bunch of trouble. And I'm just like, man, I just need to stop talking, and I just need to start praying and going to the Lord and trying to take others there too.
Speaker 3:Like Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I think I have so many answers. I think I'm so wise and so smart sometimes. And I'm just like, any and this is what's so crazy about today. Anything that I tell someone else, they can go to a podcast or they can go on the Internet and find a certified expert who's giving better advice than me. So like, back in the day, a mentor might have given some really helpful information because we didn't have the internet.
Speaker 2:You know, like perhaps this mentor had a book that the mentee had never even heard of. Well, now we have the internet And anything you want to know is on the internet. You can Google anything. And so that kind of makes the information that we have irrelevant in today's world. So, the informational is only transformational when what?
Speaker 2:When it's relational. And so, what can we give our mentees that no one else can give? That they can't find on Google. We can give them relationship. And, yeah, we can give them relationship with us to remove aloneness and to provide comfort, but really the most important thing is pointing them back to Jesus.
Speaker 2:That's it. It's not about us. It's about him. Right. So point number 1, none of us are qualified to lead.
Speaker 2:Point number 2, Satan wants to lie and keep you on the sidelines. Point number 3, if everyone let those lies or their sin keep them from mentoring, we'd have no mentors. Number 4, it's our brokenness that relates us to the broken. And number 5, our brokenness, it forces us to rely on God, not on ourselves.
Speaker 3:Are we ready are we ready to let to land this plane out?
Speaker 2:Land the plane. Don't stop listening, listener. We've got some gold here.
Speaker 3:I mean, listen. The seats are gonna be in their upright position. Tray tables are gonna be returned, but this is the good stuff right here, man.
Speaker 2:You better put away that cellular device because we're about to put it on airplane mode, something like that. Dang it, man. I thought that was good. It wasn't. Alright.
Speaker 2:So how This is the how, man. So, John, this is your baby, and I think this is really good. Not to pump it up too much, but go for it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Please don't oversell this.
Speaker 2:This is the most amazing thing you will
Speaker 3:ever hear in your life. No pressure. So, you know, we always want to give you some memorable and and kind of obtainable bits of wisdom for you to say, look. We've this is important stuff that we've talked about, but now as you as we kind of end our time together and you go out back to life, what can you be thinking of? What can you be be mindful of?
Speaker 3:Well, we wanna give you 3 important words to apply, and that is reframe, redeem, and restore. So in regards to our brokenness, Zach, what does it mean to reframe our brokenness?
Speaker 2:I mean seeing it from the Lord's perspective, not from our own. It means reframing how you see it. Because what the enemy meant for evil, God can use for good.
Speaker 3:No kidding.
Speaker 2:So perhaps your brokenness can actually be used to advance the kingdom. And I think about me and my story. You know, I grew up in a home that was kinda crazy, and my parents split up and had a lot of dysfunction. And for a long time, if you would've asked me what the worst thing that ever happened to me was, I would say that. And today, while I will say that it wasn't a good environment and, you know, it's hard for me to say what I'm about to say, but stick with me.
Speaker 2:There's no way in the world I would be here today doing what I'm doing with the family that I have if it wasn't for that brokenness that happened as a as a child. So I could be so bold to say, maybe it wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to me, but maybe it was one of the best things I did. Mhmm. Because what the enemy meant to kill me and my family, God somehow, someway, in his grace, in his kindness, in a way that only he could make heaven, he turned it into good.
Speaker 3:Amen. And what a gift. What a gift to reframe those situations and circumstances. Maybe it's a shameful period in your life where you're just thinking, I wanna forget this if I could. If I could have God just remove this from my memory, I would.
Speaker 3:But guess what, friends? That's not how it works. And so our challenge is to reframe all of these things in our life that we think, oh, the enemy just attacked me so brutally. I barely survived. Well, man, let's give this to the Lord.
Speaker 3:Let's then let him, the second stage, to redeem. So what does it mean to have our our brokenness redeemed, Zach?
Speaker 2:It means to see value in it. Trusting that the Lord is up to something. Because so often it's in our pain that we find our passions and that we find our pursuits Because you know how it feels. I know how it feels to be a kid who's alone. I know how it feels to believe that no one's there for you.
Speaker 2:And yet, I know that the Lord can redeem that for other people because he did for me. So how how can God be glorified in this brokenness? And I think that's hard because it is hard to think about that when you're in the middle of it. But count it all joy, my brothers, when you, what, experience trials of many kinds. Because in those trials, you find all of the good stuff.
Speaker 2:You find endurance, and you find character, and you find hope. And so, man, that's just how God works. He works through brokenness. Like, it's just what he does. I don't get it.
Speaker 2:Doesn't make any sense. It's not how I do it, but that's how he does it. But in our pain, in our hardships, in these broken times is when he's at his best. And so knowing that God is who he says he is, that he redeems, that he is good, that he is for us, not against us, and that he has a plan for our lives, not for us not to harm us, but for us
Speaker 3:to prosper. That's it. And finally, this process, it lands itself in restoration. So we reframe, God redeems, and then there's restoration. We use those opportunities for ministry, for building up others because we have gone through that process and we now make it the work of, man, what does this mean for my community?
Speaker 3:What does this mean for the people in my life that I've gone through this, that I've weathered the storm, that God has been faithful and now, man, I can be an agent of change. And I think that's so empowering, listener, to understand that your story is for a reason. It not only shows that God is so good and so kind in your life, but how is someone in your life going to be benefited because of what you've gone through? It's almost like this metaphor of walking along the trail and falling because there's a very dangerous place in on the trail. And so that's when you realize, oh, you know what?
Speaker 3:Those who are gonna be coming after me, I wanna be able to be here for them to to warn them and say, look, I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I made. And that that is often what ministry really is and that is often what mentoring is as well.
Speaker 2:That's good. So I feel like God's inviting us to reframe our brokenness, which is a work of our head. He wants to redeem and help us see value in it, which is a work of the heart. And then he wants to restore us and help us use our brokenness to restore others, which is hand, head hard hand. Which I know you love.
Speaker 2:You love head hard hands. I do. Is there anything you love more?
Speaker 3:There are there are only a few things that I love more than than the head, heart, hands model of of teaching a concept.
Speaker 2:Like a good coffee mug? Oh, man.
Speaker 3:Don't even get me started on that. We ain't got time
Speaker 2:for this. Alright. So I hope that y'all enjoyed this podcast. I think it was good. John, do you think it was good?
Speaker 2:I do. Great.
Speaker 3:This is a good 45 minutes.
Speaker 2:I know that you've been wanting to test out some intros. Do you have any outros that you're trying
Speaker 3:to test out? Oh. Not yet. But I can I cannot wait to give that some thought, some practice
Speaker 2:Okay?
Speaker 3:In our future podcasting.
Speaker 2:Well, while you're doing that, let me remind listeners. Hey, if you enjoyed this, share it with some friends, send it to a text, hey, I thought this was awesome. You should listen to it, friend. Or if you run a mentoring something or other, send it to the people that mentor with you. Just share it.
Speaker 2:You think it's good. Spread the word. Go. Make disciples. Know why?
Speaker 2:Because you can mentor. Bam. You can mentor. What? Was that my outro?
Speaker 3:I loved that.
Speaker 4:Oh, Oh, man.
Speaker 2:Alright. See y'all listeners next
Speaker 3:time.