King Kong and Godzilla go head-to-head in an epic battle of the beast when the giant gorilla escapes from captivity in Japan and squares up to the recently thawed lizard.
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Creators & Guests
What is Cinema PSYOPS?
Cinema PSYOPS is a weekly film review podcast where we experiment on an impressionable mind to find out why physical wounds heal, but Cinematic ones don't.
There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,
the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed
at a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.
Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created the
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the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has
a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.
10 years. Man 10.
10 years.
10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.
10. 10 years. 10 years.
What is the most likely way humanity. Will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.
Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because
of you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have any control
over it. The global temperature rise underscores a chilling
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seem to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one third of
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On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,
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effect of the wind and all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting
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Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.
The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.
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Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed,
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Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating viruses
more dangerous than nuclear bombs, able to devastate humanity.
It's man returning to the most primal,
violent state as people fight over the tiny
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a dream or a simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced
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you would be what. Causes the end of the world. Please do us all a
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Cinema Sylps. 10 years.
10 years. Hello.
Well, everybody's bored with me doing that anyway, and welcome to
Cinema Psyops. This is the 489th
consecutive week that we have recorded and released this fucking show.
And joining me in the ever so excruciatingly exhausting
work that makes this show happen, it's my co host, Matt Woo.
I'm not tired at all. I'm just fine. I haven't died.
Neither one of us is overworked and stressed out and underappreciated in
any way, shape or form in our private lives. Not let alone our podcast
lives where we shout into the void and no one responds. Nope. We shout into
the void and then the void says nothing back.
The void. Just like my parents. Mildly disappointed.
Also like Matt's parents. Yeah, also like Matt.
I should give them a call. They never pick up.
I know for a fact that that's not true. I've just seen them recently over
that holiday weekend. And my parents do care for me. So that's.
That's something. Somebody has to. Yeah,
right. You know, the world.
The world is dark enough. We don't need to keep doing this kind of,
you know, beat up on Match Dick. Even though I really, truly enjoy it more
than I really should. Right. How did you survive Icema getting?
We had ice me getting here, folks. Actually, I think that should just be both
our story times. I'll do my ice. I think so. I'm with you. Yeah.
Your next week can be your Icemageddon story. That work for you for it?
You know what? That was a great idea. Good idea, Court. I had no idea
what I was going to do for story time this week. Yeah, well, I was
going to suggest that off Mike before we even got started. Like that would have
been an. Oh, there you go. But I totally just spaced it just because we
got a later start, probably from Icemageddon. That's my
guess. And a few. Yeah. Because there are things I was going to
do yesterday for my job that I couldn't because
of Icemageddon, so I had to do it today.
Yeah, yeah. Kind of same for my story a little bit, but not really.
But anyway, nobody is tuning in to hear that until it's actually
story time. So let's actually get started with the coverage for King Kong versus
Godzilla. This is something that I had mentioned to you and I'm going
to bring it up here and we'll kind of reiterate more on your episode.
But the versions of the films that we are viewing and doing reviews
for come from the showa era of the Godzilla
movies. And that is the Criterion Collections
version that we're specifically watching that new box set that recently came out
it's that book with the sort of art deco cover I'm sure everybody's probably seen.
So those specific versions are the ones that Criterion selected for their specific
collection that we're reviewing currently. Because I bought it, and why the fuck not?
It's the best looking versions of all of those particular films that I've seen.
And now this is me making an assumption about what Criterion
chose and why they chose it the way they chose it. I think the Criterion
went for the most complete and,
you know, story and version of these Godzilla
films that they could for that box set. And most of
those, inarguably, would be the original Japanese version. So there's
going to be a lot of these that are going to just be subtitled with
the original Japanese language version. Are there English language versions that exist
out there of, say, next week yours is going to be subtitled, which is
Mothra versus Godzilla? Yeah, absolutely. There are.
There are English language dubs of it. There are shorter versions of it.
There are cut versions of it. But since these are the most complete
stories, I think it's worth suffering through not having clips
as a backup and just kind of having shorter episodes to go through the story
as we go through the story. I think it's fine because, yeah, I think so.
It's still at least the most complete story. And the reason that I mentioned that
is for my movie, I don't think an original Japanese
version without all of the overdubs and all of the English language
explaining everything you're seeing on screen, without any actual dialogue
from the Japanese cast, that ends up happening in my movie of King Kong versus
Godzilla. This, I think, is the only version that's left. I think this is the
only surviving version of this movie. That's why it's really English. Really?
Yeah. Oh, Jesus. That's the assumption that I'm making here,
that there is not another version, or at least one that Criterion themselves could
get their hands on. Because this version feels like it's kind of hurried
along with the story quite a bit in a lot of spots. And most of
it is explained through dialogue of international reporters talking directly,
directly to the screen. That does not feel like it was shot at
the same time as all the Godzilla footage, for fuck's sake.
Yeah. So it's a weird hodgepodge of a film.
It's kind of a bit of a mess here and there, but I still do
dearly love it. And it has some of the benchmark.
Monster versus monster fighting is like. I know that we were talking
about, like, various Other fights, like how Anguirus would be sort of
like the template for all of the other ones. And that's absolutely true when it's
monster versus monster. But the one, the touchstone,
the one that everybody thinks about. Right, right. And the one that like whenever
they talk about the epic battle, what's the one that they always say, right,
King Kong versus Godzilla. King Kong always. That's always the monster
one. You want to see King Kong being more of an American, you know,
creation and then Godzilla being the Japanese creation for big,
large creatures. And it is fair to state that the original filmmakers
that made Godzilla took very heavily influence from
the King Kong film from the 30s. That was the stop motion animation version of
King Kong. Yeah, that's very much obvious. And they were leveraging
and trying to get King Kong into this monsterverse right from
the beginning. I mean, even before this film. Right. I mean, like, I think
like Anguirus was supposed to be or they were trying to do getting
Godzilla and King Kong fighting. They've been trying forever until they finally succeeded here in
1962. So enough beating around the bush and kind of talking about it.
Let's get into King Kong versus Godzilla proper.
So once again, pirate radio edit like we've been doing all along.
All songs featured in the same year or that were popular in the year
of the release of the film that we're covering. So for 1962, up first
is little Ava with the song Locomotion immediately following
this on the pirate radio edit. This will keep you quiet.
Oh, hi there. I didn't see you. You call me cutting
a new show. I'm Bo Ransdell and I'm one of the mini creators.
Hello folks. Are you or anyone you know suffering from
stg? Sexy but scary. Have you or anyone
you've recently been with been followed by something
that seems to change shape and form and keeps.
Following Bacon stairs sometimes hot nake.
You might be suffering from sexually transmitted ghosts.
Sexually transmitted ghosts affect one out of every million
people. Pretty good. Odd. You must be careful for anyone that
you have intercourse with. No level of protection will save you from
sexually transmitted ghosts. Ditch the condoms. Sexually transmitted
ghosts can in fact lead up to your death. And the only way
you can save yourself is to pass the disorder on to the next person and
hope that they survive. I mean like chlamydia. Because once the sexually
transmitted GH gruesomely murders your sexual partner,
it comes back for you and follows the line all the way back to the
beginning of the curse. Feeling that as bad as pregnancy There.
Is currently no known cure for sexually transmitted ghosts.
There is also no way to prevent sexually transmitted ghosts.
Baby butt sex. Except for abstinence. Am I right,
guys? Also, the rules of how and why a sexually transmitted
ghost will haunt you is completely unknown. You sort of have
to figure it out on your own. If you or anyone you know is suffering
from a sexually transmitted ghost, please, please believe their stories. Because only
they can see the ghost. You have to believe them. Otherwise you
may see them folded in half right in front of you by an invisible force
you can't control. Time to start friend zoning. Sexually transmitted
ghosts are real. Please do not consider them to be a falsehood
or a form of mental illness. Sexually transmitted ghosts do
in fact exist. Unless of course, it's madness brought on.
By untreated gonorrhea or syphilis. Therefore, you must never
ever have sex. This is a morality tale. All sorts of sex,
except appropriation is wrong. Because sexually transmitted
ghosts, blood work prohibited. Sexually transmitted diseases do in fact happen with them without a
condom. Especially sexually transmitted ghosts. Even in the body,
you know. Covering films from this era and playing songs that
are from the era that we are doing the coverage for
is one of my favorite pirate radio edit tricks. I. I really love
it. It gets you in the mood for the era that you're talking about that
the film was released in. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, I get you.
It's so fun. Yeah. That's all I'm trying to do is just put a little
fun and hope into this bleak fucking world we're living in, my friend.
That's it. Good luck, sir. Well, why don't
we give it a shot with covering King Kong vs Godzilla up first in the
first 30 minutes. It was a 90 minute film, so I
broke it into, well, thirds of 30 minutes each on the first
30 minutes. After a full minute of opening credits, we get a
model shot of the earth and some sci fi theremin music when there
is finally some dialogue which makes up our first really
long clip. There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
This is United nations reporter Eric Carter with the new.
As the series of earthquakes continue to destroy Chile,
the United nations has granted immediate emergency aid.
Transport planes laden with food and medical supplies have already
been dispatched to the stricken area. Through the facilities of the international
communications satellite. We take you live to Santiago de Chile and our UN
report. Rodrigo Infanta. Hello, Santiago. This is
Eric Carter in New York. Hello, Eric. This is Rodrigo
Infanta reporting via ICS from the UN newsroom
in Santiago de Chile. The planes have already arrived and
are being unloaded. The last recorded tremor was four hours ago.
Hopefully it was the last. I have a message from the President of Chile
conveying his heartfelt thanks to the United nations and the Red Cross for their
swift and most excellent assistance. Rodrigo Infanta signing off
from Santiago. Thank you,
Rodrigo. Considerable attention has been focused on the Bering Sea. The Japanese
fishing fleet has reported a strange phenomenon. Large icebergs have
been breaking up, the flows of which are drifting southward towards
Japan and melting quickly. The Japan current, sometimes called
Kuroshido, divides here. The northern branch skirts Asia and
merges with the cold Oshia current. This normally cold ocean stream
is maintaining an abnormally warm temperature. The United nations
has dispatched its nuclear submarine Seahawk. With several of the world's
most prominent scientists into the area. More on that matter as it arises.
Japanese scientist Akira Makino, winner of last year's
Nobel Prize for medicine, claims to have made a rather amazing
discovery in the field of chemotherapy. These red berries,
discovered in his latest field trip in the Bougainville area. Produce a non habit
forming narcotic effect. Unfortunately, he reports the berries grow
in only one small remaining remote primitive island. And the natives there
are reluctant to give them up. It seems animals are fond of this fruit.
And the berries are ground into juice by the natives to placate
a quote, mysterious God who lives on the island. The God
is supposedly an enormous creature that no one has ever seen, but who
is rumored to be taller than many of their mountain. Dr. Makino would make
no comment on whether such a creature exists or not. But the Pacific Pharmaceutical
Company, Dr. Makino's employer, claims he does exist. They all claim
that the reason he is such a giant is because he eats Dr.
Makino's berries. There is one thing we can be certain of that
these berries will produce. And that is a giant advertising campaign.
I call the plant Soma. So far, our early
tests have shown remarkably good results. We are pleased
my notes confirm this. I will, however, need more berries to
continue with the test. But because of their garments, the natives absolutely refuse
to give up any more than just a few handfuls. How strange.
Would you show us exactly where the island is on the chart? Of course,
of course. Just before returning home, I touched at
Bougainville here in the Solomons. And about 62 miles south
from there was a small island called Faroe Island.
There, gentlemen, is where I found the red berries and the strange God.
Ooh, strange story, Mr. Makima. No.
I find it hard to believe that Buru sounds like a fairy tale.
Doctor, does a giant creature exist here? Since you ask my opinion,
my answer is yes. A giant monster.
He must be putting us on. We must really need publicity.
It's heads. So get a monster taco, not a monster.
Really? Yes, a monster. Come on, think. I want action now.
And no argument. A wonderful stunt. A rat. Of course.
Have you seen our latest TV ratings? They're terrible. Who out
there is watching our show? Nobody. Because it's dull and boring and
without imagination. That's why Pacific Pharmaceutical demands publicity.
You two are going to feral find me a genuine monster. If he exists
or not. Steaks are ready. Are you hungry? Hungry? I'm starving.
Wait. I have something to show you first. Look at this Sewing machine thread.
This is wire. Stronger than steel. Just watch this.
We're testing it. Money in Hokai. Hold it. Don't do that.
No, don't. Stop. Stop. I'm convinced. I'm convinced.
Don't do that. Come on. Stop. I believe you. Stop it.
You're not Tarzan. All right, you win. Come on. No more.
No more. You should take some with you on your expedition. There is nothing stronger
here. Hey, that's not fair. Look. How come your boyfriend's
steak is bigger than your brother's? Sakurai, stop it, will you?
Fujita, eat. Honey, I made the steak for you. Hey, what's so interesting?
Story about a submarine. Submarine. UN Submarine Seahawk is calling
in from the Arctic Sea. Hello, Seahawk. Go ahead, Commander Roberts. This is Commander
Roberts reporting from UN Submarine Seahawk. We are approaching area and will submerge
shortly. Hello, Seahawk. This is Eric Carter from UN Headquarters.
Switching you now to Yutaka Omura in Tokyo.
Hello, Seahawk. This is Tokyo. Our tracking stations in Japan are
following you closely. Thank you. Over a we are following the submarine Seahawk
by ICS. Her present location is latitude 58 degrees north,
longitude 178 degrees east.
Captain, water temperature 68 degrees. 68 degrees.
It can't be. There aren't any warm currents in the Arctic Ocean.
Check that temperature. Yes, sir. Captain, I see a strange light behind the iceberg,
dead ahead. That must be it. Let's go down and have a
look. Take it out. Emergency dive.
Doctor, what do you make of that? It looks like
the Chelankov light. Chalenkov light? What can
that be? Yes, that's it. It's a light
generated in nuclear reactors. And that light looks very much like
it. Captain, we're having a Geiger response. Stand by.
Depth at 85 meters. Still have
heading towards the iceberg. We're getting closer.
Up underwater. Periscope.
Emergency lights. All stations
report damage. What did we hit? It must be an iceberg.
Iceberg. Periscope out of order. Atomic fuel room damage,
Captain. Propeller shaft engines badly damaged.
Engine room reports repairs and population possible.
Oh, great. Captain,
do something before we are crushed to death.
Fire made a water signal,
Captain. The Geiger response is climbing. Captain, sonar is out of
order.
I am sure a rescue party will come looking for us.
There's nothing we can do but wait and pray that they see the
mayday signal. Water in the engine room.
Secure all the bulkheads. Captain,
water in the conning tower. Secure the hatch.
Engine room flooding rapidly. Captain,
do something. Abandon ship. All hands prepare to
abandon ship. The escape hatch is jammed,
Captain. We're trapped.
Look there, Al. In the water. A marker around
the iceberg. That's them. Let's go down.
What do you make of that, Al?
Godzilla.
The world is stunned to discover that prehistoric creatures exist
in the 20th century. Tracking stations show Godzilla heading in a south
easterly direction towards the offshore islands of Japan. He seems
to be traveling in a straight line and on a predetermined course. Though as
yet we have no explanation as to why. Dr. Kenji Shigazawa,
Minister of Defense, has been meeting with the army chiefs of staff. The armies
have been alerted as we wait for more news from Japan. Dr.
Shikasawa, statement please. Is Godzilla coming? Yes, he is.
He is approaching quickly. Can we stop him? We must
not panic. If there is one thing we cannot afford at this time,
it is hysteria. A national emergency may exist,
but the armed forces will defend Japan at all costs.
That's really all I can tell you now. Good day.
What if the army can't stop it? Of course, other plans
are now being considered. Any way we can
find to stop Godzilla must be considered. I see. Then you
have discussed using the atom bomb? Possibly as
a last resort. If we do not destroy Godzilla
soon, the monster will destroy us all.
Gentlemen, that's all I can tell you for now. Good day.
And with that, we get a shot of Godzilla heading inland and
fucking shit up melting melting tanks with his atomic breath. And then stomping them
as they try to flee before plowing through the biggest building of this
sort of air force base looking place. Would you say it would look like an
air force base? Yeah, I would say an air force base. I'm with you.
Yeah, the closest I could kind of think that it would probably be maybe like
an air force base of some sort. Anyway, Then he starts incinerating what
looks like troop barracks as well. Which means that there's a lot of people dead
already in this movie. Because I guarantee you, if this was a military
base of some sort, those buildings were not abandoned. Yeah,
no, that was extra crispy. They cut
from this to a news report that acts as expository dialogue
which explains everything about the story. So that.
That's our second clip. Boom. Yutaka Ohmura from Tokyo
reporting that the situation is grim. Evacuation plans are
being prepared. People should have small light baggage ready.
Please remain calm. The Japanese navy is filling the various harbors
with evacuation craft. And we now wait to see in which direction God's
Godzilla will strike next.
No more. I'm sick of Godzilla.
Send away immediately. Oh, yes, right away, sir. I want my
own monster. Find me a monster fast. And that's exactly 10 words,
sir. All you need is send it. Send it. Land ho.
Land ho. Come on. There it is.
Land off the starboard bow. Pharaoh Island.
This clip leads into a sequence of what is supposed to be the native peoples
of Pharaoh Island's ritualistic worship of their supposed
God and is in fact a bunch of Japanese people in what appears to be
varying levels of brown and black face. That's great. We are
talking about full body makeup and everything. It is really
uncomfortable to watch in today's like climate. Yeah. No,
it's not. It's not. It wasn't great. That's. It's not.
You know. I don't know, man. They sound the alarm about the would be colonizers
coming to their island. And the landing crew is immediately taken, Captain,
by the quote unquote natives. Really uncomfortable.
And that leads into our third clip. Jesus.
We bring gifts. I get presents for you.
Don't jump. Please don't push. Don't you. Wait a minute. It's not my.
He brought me here. He's the leader.
Chief. Is that the chief? That's the chief.
Kono, listen, we're here on a goodwill mission.
Got it? I'm not here to become their dinner.
Belong me to all you. To Pharaoh.
You go back. Wrong place. Belong you
Pharaoh? Well, he order you to leave this place
right now at once. He's right. Let's go. Bald head,
will you just take it easy and come? Calm down. Listen,
we want the Chief to know we came here as his friends. Tell him a
big boat is coming back for us tomorrow. And smile, will you? Nice smile.
Here, hold this. Kono, give me the radio.
Come on. Hurry. Hurry. Chief.
See what I've got? Magic. Try it out.
This radio. Two transistors.
I show you. With this here, all other
chiefs will shake in your power. Shake.
Tremble. Like me. See? See?
Switch it on like this. And. And you get them my magic
cigarettes. Inhale,
inhale. They satisfy.
Ah, too bad we forgot to bring candy.
Oh, you're mommy. You better
not smoke it around home.
All right. It's okay. They're all smoking.
He gives you permission to stay. But he will
not be responsible if the giant God comes down from the mountains and eats you
up. Fair enough. Sarai. Takai. Maybe we can still catch
the boat. Forget it, will you? Kono, give these to the chief. Tell him to
keep the pack. Hurry.
Big spirit. Big spirit. Pray.
Pray. What was that?
Hey. That noise is only the light.
That ferocious God of theirs is only lightning caused by the thunderclouds.
Oh, you can't be scared of that. Look at
them. Ignorant, primitive savages. Frightened to death
by a little lightning up in the sky. Then you're no better.
Hear that? That thunder ain't thunder.
Yes. Yes, it is thunder. That's ridiculous. Let us pray.
I. I don't believe in superstition.
You pray. Fumico. Fumiko.
Hi, Tammy. What's wrong? Fumico Fujita's plane crashed.
It's in the papers. Flight 311X to Hokkaido crashes Tragedy struck
Hokkaido Airport today. In addition to the crew,
118 passengers die on board. 27 survive.
Maybe. Maybe he could be one of the survivors. Why don't you go to Hokkaido?
Do not go to Hokkaido. I repeat. The Japanese government has
asked me to inform all people that they have good reason to believe
Godzilla will strike next at Hokkaido. Mr. Cook.
I see Eric Carter is ready with Dr. Arnold Johnson in New
York. Go ahead, New York. Thank you, Japan. This is Eric
Carter in New York. Dr. Arnold Johnson is curator of the New
York Museum for Natural History and an esteemed authority on prehistoric
animals. Dr. Johnson, you've agreed to explain to us some of
Godzilla's history. I said I would attempt to explain. After examining
photographs of Godzilla taken by the ics, I tend to
classify him as a prehistoric species of dinosaur.
Possibly a cross between the gigantic Tyrannosaurus rex and
the Stegosaurus, which is sometimes known as the plated dinosaur.
Roughly, this particular form of reptile existed
somewhere between 97 and 125 million years ago.
That seems an impossible, impossibly long period of time for anything to remain alive,
even frozen inside of an iceberg. Well, in Mexico,
they found a frog which they think lay dormant for 2 million years.
In Japan, flowers bloomed recently from lotus seeds
3,000 years old. The fact that Godzilla is here and alive
forces us to reconsider many theories on suspended animation.
Dr. Johnson, you stated Godzilla would definitely come to
Japan. What makes you believe this far? Fossils found in Japan resemble
Godzilla. Also, he headed instinctively for Japan, like a salmon
returning to the waters in which he was born. It's my opinion Godzilla thinks he's
heading home. Our modern weapons seem to have no effect on Godzilla.
Have you any suggestions as to how he can be stopped? Well, I know
the atom bomb is being considered, but that would be more destructive
than the creature itself. As a reptile, Godzilla might shy away from
electricity. But at this time, I wouldn't care to hazard a guess. Thank you,
Dr. Johnson. Dr. Johnson has consented to stand by at
UN headquarters and keep himself available for comment and
consultation. As you know, the UN newsroom and all its facilities will remain
open 24 hours to keep the world completely informed
on this crisis. Meanwhile, the expedition
dispatched by Tokyo Television Company and the Pacific Pharmaceutical
Company reports that they have heard the cries of the giant creature
on Faro Island. They are now moving into the interior to establish
contact with this strange island God. It is hoped he will be friendly.
Hey, wait for me. Where are you?
Aru. Aru.
Wait for me. Come on, keep up. I'm tired.
Can we rest? No, we'll keep going until dark.
Who says? I says. And if you don't like it, you can go back to
camp. Okay. My corns hurt.
Ah, you and your corn. But you see, my corns always hurt when
they're near a monster. Great. When you and the monster meet,
be sure you tell him all about your corn problems.
I heard something. Quiet. Aru. Aru.
Toto, bring up my camera.
It's only a lizard. Throw it. Throw it down.
Hurry. We get trapped. You see,
my coins never lie.
Guru. What is it? What hurts?
The corns. I don't want to hear about your corn
till we finish our job. After that, you and
your corns can go home. T. Mr.
Furu must need sleep. Get red berry juice.
Hurry. Good idea. And with
that, much like Matt as a youth, the young kid in the brown
face makeup is sent to get the red berry juice that has a non habit
forming narcotic effect to help someone sleep who is complaining about everything around him.
Yes. Wait, hold on. How is that like me? I figured
you had to get stuff to drug people when you were young
to keep them from complaining a lot. No, I just need drugs to sleep.
Okay, so you're the. You're not the kid in this scenario. You're the complaining
person that needs to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. Oh, okay.
I'm sorry. I was a little stoned when I wrote these. Not. I was just
a little confused. We can move on now. Oh, so you were high?
Yeah. I found this berry that is non habit forming and it has
a narcotic effect and it is awesome. Then why are you so twitchy?
It also is caffeinated. All right.
I think it's habit for me, but. All right, you go ahead.
That is also the third act of the film down, by the way. I just
wanted to get that shtick out of the way because I knew if I said
something weird about your youth, we would be able to get a shtick out of
it. And we did. Yeah, I mean, of course. It's the only way to go.
I like the idea that there's this really interesting berry
that, you know, only grows specifically on this Faroe island. And the natives are,
you know, loathe to give it up because they've got a God that's hooked
on it. Even though it's supposedly non habit forming.
But they got a God hooked on it. So what do you want? I would
submit to. That's got to be some good shit. I would submit to you that
even though it may not be addictive, it would be habit forming in
that it looks like that drug clearly is the shit.
Oh. I mean, because it works, right? Like not
very much of it either. And all of a sudden you got nothing really
to complain about and you just go right to sleep. It literally makes it
so the world sucks just a little bit less for however long that shit works,
right? Yeah. It may not be, quote unquote, addictive, but I guarantee you people
are going to form a habit for that shit. Oh yeah,
definitely. Yeah. I mean, I want some of that shit now.
I have had it and already have a habit for it. That shit
that they're talking about is what I thought primitap was like when I was a
kid. Yeah, there you go. Like magic berry
flavored juice that you drank and went immediately to sleep. Yeah, there you go.
Right to dreamland. You want to
move on to the next third of the film? Yeah, yeah, we're ready. All right,
we're done talking about how we got addicted to everything.
The middle third starts with the kid sent to get the drugs for
the whiny guy is followed by a woman looking for him,
which apparently is his mother. Mother. While a monster sized squid is on its
way to the narco hut where. They as one does, where they keep.
The poisonous berries that are non habit forming narcotic
effect. The mother gets to the kid and scorns him as
the druggie squid gets himself some of that sweet narco
berry juice by crushing the narco hut they are currently in.
The island peoples fight back and our main character action guy
on the island fires some shots as we see villagers getting
wrecked by the methadone addicted cephalopod as represented with the
stu stop motion tentacle kills. There is some rough looking
models and effects so far in this film for sure. But yeah,
what they went for for monsters and everything like that was they wanted more monsters
and more smashing action and they didn't have as much money to be able to
do it. So they cut some corners here and there. But when the
stuff is supposed to be important, it absolutely is. So the
stop motion squid attacking compositing stuff
didn't look that great up until. Well, just as I wrote those notes that
I just said, a composite shot of the villagers being wrecked by a tentacle in
stop motion animation with the live squid in the background actually
really impresses me enough to pause it and take a look at how they did
it and then make sure that I type up this sentence following those complaints.
Like I said, they spend the money where they were supposed to. And while the
first shot of multiple villagers getting grabbed by tentacles looked kind of bad,
that second shot with the actual moving squid in the background tracked
beautifully and looked really good. Gotta admit it. Yeah. All right, so the villager from
the stop motion gets tossed away and dragged away to safety while
our adventure man of action annoys the human humongous
squid shooting it with the hunting rifle. And I mean a noise. It doesn't
do fuck all. No. Yeah, it just like. Yeah, well you're
pissing me off now. The villagers start throwing rather large spears.
And then our hero, main man of action and the guide work
together to light and chuck torches at the squid which drives
it further onto the hut that is still being crushed
under its weight, which again the child and the mother are inside. So they
once again scream and are finally able to somehow run away and get
out of the hut. I guess it's cracked enough that they were able to get
out somewh. Yeah, they escape this junky ass squid while the
adventure men of action fire more rifles to try and run it down.
Just then a suit of Mation Kong shows up scaring
off all of the humans in the village. The squid transforms from force
perspective to stop motion large prop squid that
wraps itself around the Kong sudimation head and starts smothering
him. Kong will have none of this stop motion smothering nonsense.
So he throws that prop squid so hard at the ground
that it turns back into an actual squid in perspective
that is now being pummeled with foam rocks that match the exact size
and shape of the foam rocks that Kong is tossing at
that squid. I know I'm kind of poking fun at this stuff a little bit.
But there is a tremendous amount of work that I'm also mentioning here in the
compositing model building and force perspective work that ties all of
this sequence together and it cannot be fucked with. And how much
hard work they had to do in practical and optical effects just to achieve all
of that sequence. It's fucking awesome. Yeah, but you still fucked with
it now. Well, I'm just saying everything that you could tell how it was being
done. I wasn't really like talking bad about it. I was just
mentioning that that's what you. It's obvious that that's what it is. But it's still
a great sequence. I mean, you're fucking with it a little bit, but it's all
right. I mean, yeah, but lovingly all right. Well, now I get it.
Yeah. Like. Like I would my family. This is fucking King Kong versus Godzilla.
I'm not fucking with that. It's family.
Kong roars after what do you Vin. Diesel all of
a sudden Family? I'm not gonna say that. 389 times
in one film. I'm just not doing that. Okay, well, that's good. Kong roars after
pummeling the squid with rocks and that scares it off. He notices the berry
juice and gets to work on getting that monkey on his back and chasing that
dragon wherever it's gonna lead him. He downs and in these
kind of movies could be a literal dragon. He downs about two
huge jugs of drug before getting sleepy enough to
not be a threat to the villagers. They l him to sleep with music.
Kong is out cold and another ritual starts which
worships the Sl Kong. The main characters chat and that leads
to our fourth play.
Leave him here. Let's go. Don't be stupid.
Let's go home. We're going home, K. We're going home With
Kong. With Kong.
Yoshio Tako of Tokyo television reports that the giant
God of Faroe island, an enormous gorilla known as King Kong,
has been captured and is being brought to Tokyo. Mr. Taco claims ownership
for himself and the Pacific Pharmaceutical Company and is flying
out to greet his expedition. What about this Dr. Johnson? Legends of
giant gorillas have persisted for some time now. The fact that Kong
and Godzilla have appeared at the same time is interesting
scientifically. Godzilla has a brain about this size.
He is sheer brute force. While Kong is a thing thinking animal.
His brain is considerably larger. About 10 times the size of this gorilla's
skull. Being instinctive rivals, there is no doubt that they will attempt
to destroy one another. But our latest reports show that Godzilla has disappeared.
Keeping this in mind, do you still believe he will attack Japan? I do.
Being amphibious, Godzilla is probably lurking in the ocean depths
off Japan. Where the depths go to about 20,000 fathoms. He could
be puzzled at the changes that have taken place during his long sleep. But I
have no doubt that when he decides to return to land, he'll select Japan.
How does that sound in Tokyo? Not very good. The army is up to
full strength, and evacuation plans for all cities are underway.
What about the arrival of Kong? King Kong has the strength to tear Tokyo
apart with his bare hands. The government has no intention of giving him the
chance.
It's tackle.
Hi, Taco. I go buster.
Hey. Welcome aboard,
boys. You did a wonderful job. A wonderful job indeed.
Wonderful, wonderful.
Ah, there, Gen Kong. I think he's found
a hero.
Stop. Don't. That's dynamite.
Press that lever and pow. Goes. Calm.
How? Don't you understand? The raft's dynamite is wired
to that fuse. Oh,
boy.
Are you the captain? I'm the captain. You are to remain outside of
Japanese waters until further orders. Who is going to be responsible for King Kong?
I am. My company owns him. I have government orders. King Kong
is not to enter to Japan. Considered a menace. King Kong must be taken
back to Pharaoh island at once. These orders are final. My Kong.
Your orders are specific. My contract. The TV
commitments return Kong to Pharaoh. Kong, considered a menace
to Japan, must be returned. If these orders are not obeyed, I have
instructions to place responsible parties under arrest.
Mr. Taco. Boss. Boss for
Vegeta. Hi.
What's wrong? I thought you were dead. Dead?
Do I look dead to you? Your airplane. It crashed. I missed
it. The boss kept me working. But Vamiko went looking for you in Hokkaido.
Hokkaido? Oh, what a mess I make. Are you going out?
No, we've decided to leave the city. Why? Is there something wrong?
Godzilla. Really? Godzilla? We just heard the late news on the radio.
Godzilla was seen near Hokkaido. Mommy. Let's go see Godzilla.
Child, we're not going to a zoo. Hurry.
Fumigo's Train. Tsuguru, it's the express. No.
I hope she isn't bothering you. I don't mind it.
Godzilla has risen from the sea. There is no doubt that he is now moving
directly towards Hokkaido. The eyes of the world have turned to Japan in this
moment of crisis. The United nations is giving their full support
to defense preparations. Each nation has pledged armed
divisions and heavy weapons. The main question is whether
the men or the weapons can stop Godzilla.
General Masami Shinzo, in charge of Japan's defense,
has kept the emergency council in all night session.
I beg your pardon, General Shinso, but this is our latest report.
Godzilla's nearing Hokkaido. Excellency, we may need the
atom bomb. It is my sincerest hope that this will be
our last resort. Just where is he now,
sir? Godzilla's last position was reported by helicopter on the Hokkai
Mainland in this area.
43 to Control. Godzilla is approaching. He seems to
be attracted by the train lights.
And with that, Godzilla makes landfall, triggering the inevitable evacuation
sequences we were just hearing right there at the very end of the clip.
The buses and people are moving in such an order, orderly and organized
fashion that demonstrates just how Japan has had to adapt
to living around Kaiju already by this film. All right.
Godzilla makes his way. Oh, God. It's like. Damn it, I had dinner reservations.
Like a thunderstorm, like, oh, man, I was gonna go to the park today.
Godzilla makes his way up the train tracks and towards the abandoned
train leading to our fifth clip.
Attention, attention, attention. Godzilla is approaching.
Hurry, hurry. Get in the trucks. Get in.
Go.
Wait for me. Please. Wait.
Wait. Wait for me.
Watch out. Get out of my way.
Go back. Go back. Go back. My girlfriend's on that
train. How many left behind? 14 or 15 more
on the old highway. Okay, move. All right,
keep it going. Keep it going. Thanks.
Hey, come back. You'll be chill. Kill me.
Chill.
I made every effort to leave. Godzilla roars in all the clips
as I possibly could. Not a bad idea.
I may have shortened some of them when there was, like, a shit ton of
them, but I tried to leave at least, you know, as many as I could
in there. Yeah, of course. This begins a sequence of Godzilla stomping
that train flat. And our main love interest, character's girl,
who was left behind, is in danger of the big G
running towards her, and she's screaming and flopping through a river. I mean,
I don't blame her. Godzilla's within sight. I would fucking run and scream. Scream,
too. Yeah, right. Our main character arrives in his jeep
just in time to save his lady. Even though I have two
main characters here. There's the love interest main character and the action
man main character. They're friends and she's the sister of the action
man. But the love interest guy is the one who's now the main character on
screen currently. Yeah. In case everybody gets confused. Yeah.
Because we're not going to learn names, people. All right? That's just not
us. That's just too much goddamn work. I just remember their face whenever they're
on screen. And that's it. Exactly. And that's how I live my life, too.
It's not just movies. Yeah, no, yeah, it's me, too. Like, I fucking.
It was like six months before I even knew Court's name. All right,
so our main love interest character arrives in his jeep just in time to save
his lady, even though Godzilla does not come anywhere near them. But again,
Godzilla's within sight. I'm terrified. I got it. Yeah, I understand. Yeah.
They cut from this to a shot of Kong strapped to that raft in the
middle of the ocean as he wakes up, causing obvious concern for the crew of
the ship. They attempt to cut the cable and then blow up the dynamite
and then to shoot the dynamite whenever the trigger for the dynamite
fails. After tons of missed shots, they successfully blow
up the raft. But Kong is actually tall enough to just kind
of stand there. So it really doesn't do them much good at all.
Listen, Khan, at this point, Kong at this point's like, what are you
guys even doing? Are you trying. You taking this seriously? I'll just go
home. Well, right now he's like, oh, man, my head hurts. I just drank two
draft fulls of those non habit forming, narcotic effect
berry juices. And I just woke up on an exploding raft
in the middle of the fucking ocean that I'm just luckily tall enough to
tower out of and not fucking drown. By the way, I'm almost positive
these are habit forming. He's all like, I probably should cut back
on the berry juice at this point, I think.
Anyway, he's towering out of the ocean. And they cross. Fade from that to our
sixth clip. King Kong is free. He has reached the Japan mainland.
He has been sighted heading in a north northwesterly direction, which seems to
be in a path meant to intercept Godzilla, who is moving south southward toward Tokyo.
The best explanation for this comes from Dr. Arnold Johnson
of America. It appears that King Kong, sending the presence
of a hated enemy, is determined to destroy Godzilla.
Thus a battle of the giants, which may or may not have Taken place
millions of years ago, may be recreated soon on the Nasu
plain. Stop. Stop. This way, this way.
Just where do you think you're going, mister? I represent Tokyo Television and
Pacific Point Pharmaceutical. King Kong is under my sponsorship.
Get ready with that. Kong and Godzilla square off. With all the human action
characters watching and taking bets, Godzilla has the high ground
and should, by rights, just fry the fuck out of that ape and call it
a day. Yeah, right. Just. Let's go. But if he actually did that,
however, we would have no movie or a fight, really. It's obvious.
Yeah, we'd just be sitting here just pulling our pud, wondering why we're on
a podcast. We still do that anyway.
Yeah, that's also true, but, I mean, that's the only thing we'd be doing
during the standoff. Godzilla breaks the tension by burning a helicopter, and Kong
doesn't really like that, so he tosses a boulder, which unfortunately falls short
because once again, Godzilla has the high ground. Yeah, but I mean, it's kind of
weird. Like, Kong took that as an affront, like, no, that was my helicopter.
Listen, I'm the one that smashes helicopters full of humans around here. Yeah,
how dare you. Godzilla fries the forest ground directly
in front of Kong, but does not make the ape go
up aflame as he should. Again, atomic.
Burn the fucking ape and call it a day. Yeah, get out of here.
But. Nah, can't do that. No, it would make it too short. Listen, Kong has
to have some plot armor, all right? Exactly. Kong is
a little singed by the fire and puts out his fur as Godzilla
appears to celebrate this pain and taunt him a little bit directly,
contradicting the English dialogue, saying that he has a tiny brain and
only acts on instinct. He very clearly relished
the pain he caused Kong there. Yeah, it always seems like Godzilla
in every movie is thinking about shit. I mean, I don't know,
just. That's kind of awkward that. That translation where it was
like, nah. Yeah, of course. Yeah. The monster made by the
Japanese movie companies has a small brain, but our monster.
We'll talk about it a little more when we get up to the actual hour
mark of the film. But essentially, this entire movie is trying to explain
to you how Kong could possibly win against Godzilla, because otherwise it's
very implausible. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when you're dealing
with a large lizard creature that has nuclear
breath and you're just a giant ap.
Yeah, exactly. So Kong decides to pack up his toys and go home
after he got burned a little Bit because everyone is being a dick to him.
And that leads to our seventh. Kong has retreated.
Godzilla now reigns supreme and will in all probability
continue his march towards Tokyo, destroying everything in his path
as he goes. The army has made plans for the first line of defense.
These villages have been evacuated. The defense plans, in a simplified
form are to to dig out an enormous pit and line it with explosives
and poison gas. Riverbeds and canals on each side of
the pit will be filled with gasoline and set on fire. The fire
should drive Godzilla into the trap in the center where the explosives can
be detonated. We're nearly through with that section.
General Shinzo. Godzilla reported in close vicinity.
He'll be here by night.
Godzilla is sighted. Please work as
quickly as possible. Get that dynamite ready.
Open valves release gasoline. Valves open
Gasoline release.
Godzilla approaching. Light torches. Wait for your signal.
Damn, that was a big hit. The audience won't hear. I was about to say,
would you get some red cherries that are non habit forming or something? Yes,
I had non habit forming narcotic affected plant being ingested
there on during the clip. And yeah, I'm coughing for it. The end of that
clip takes us to the full hour long mark of the film. So we have
nothing but 30 minutes left after this. All right, well,
if you don't have anything to just interject real.
We kind of went over everything, actually. I was going to say
in this about how they had to give. How much plot armor King
Kong had to be given for this. I mean, it's a lot.
That was like the one thing I wanted to talk about and then we kind
of already did. Yeah, but we really can talk about it here specifically because
this is where it really starts to take effect. But literally the English language dialogue
that they start at the beginning where they're like, look, Godzilla is pure brute force.
So Kong's a thinking animal, so he can probably out think Godzilla.
And never before did they ever talk about Godzilla
having a smaller brain. I will accept the fact that Godzilla
being a lizard creature of some sort, would have a more primitive
like lizard guided brain. But I promise you, lizards are
fucking clever and vicious and vile. They just lack empathy.
The only difference between the ability of a highly
intelligent ape to think and a highly intelligent lizard to think
is that the highly intelligent ape also has empathy and
cares about other things, Whereas the lizard is literally just eating,
fucking and killing. That's all they give a shit about.
That's it. That's the. Yeah, they don't really give a shit about anything else other
than, you know, Getting their next meal right now.
Godzilla somehow develops empathy later on.
Who fucking knows how, but he does. Let's just call that a mutation.
But eventually, Godzilla does end up having empathy. The varying levels of empathy that
Godzilla has is a little bit different. But we saw a full fledged
intelligent lizard brain in effect here. He celebrated
injuring Kong with his atomic breath. And watching him run away
like a mean fucking cruel, twisted bully. Like, he did a
little mean girls. Yeah, he did a little fucking dance after burning Kong.
I never realized that until doing the notes now. Yeah, it's like. It's like a
mean girl who like, dumps a soda on another person's head and then laughs with
her friends. You Becky. Sorry, what?
What happened? Where are we again? Yeah, it's just fucking nuts
like that. But the way that they actually are filming the fight, it's very
realistic towards how these types of animals would behave. You know,
Kong is an advanced tool user, and that's absolutely correct. He does try
to do some advanced tool use. But in all reality, the first time that
Kong comes into contact with Godzilla without some type of
plot armor excus to negate the atomic breath,
he is just as susceptible to the atomic burns as
any other creature is. And usually Godzilla can burn
a hole through them. Why Godzilla doesn't use his atomic breath
more is because then it's just like Godzilla Final wars where he kills,
like everything in the entire universe. That's another Kaiju within the
course of an hour and a half. Right? Like, that's literally what will
happen is it's just mass death. Because when you have Godzilla,
you can't fuck with that shit and you have to make up plot armor.
The only creature that's really a threat to Godzilla is like a Ghidorah
who can take that atomic breath and either feed off of it or
just not give a fuck about it and it doesn't affect him.
Then that's the problem. No one cares about you.
Right? Like, that's as much as you may have an issue, whoever you are out
there with the American versions of Godzilla that the legendary pictures have
been doing, they get the atomic breath, right? When he fucking fires
that off, it's end game. It's done,
whatever it is. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, they get. And the
Japanese versions of the film with Godzilla and the atomic breath,
they are almost like making him not want to use
it too much just because it is so powerful.
It's interesting because now that's kind of how they view the United States, where they're
like, well, they have the power, but they haven't obviously used it yet in 1962.
And it's getting awfully close that they could really use it that they want to,
and they really could ruin some shit, but they haven't yet.
Is that why Godzilla's more reserved with his atomic breath in this? Or is it
just because it's plot armor? Because how else would another Kaiju even be a threat?
Exactly. Yeah. There's no. When you have atomic breath,
there's nothing that can ever defeat you. So you got to use something for some
plot armor. Like he had to recharge. Right.
Yeah, they do that sometimes too, where, like, maybe he would run out
of atomic breath or whatever. Yeah. And there's varying ways that
they deal with him having the atomic breath and what to do with it and
all of that. And there's even an overpowered atomic breath that we'll see
here. That is ridiculous and terrifying. Like.
Yeah, right. In later years. But anyway, I think we can move on to the
final 30. What do you think? All right, let's make a run for it.
All right. So the final 30 starts with a big G. Getting surrounded by fire
to herd him towards their giant tiger pit trap. They just
basically made a Kaiju sized tiger pit. That was their trap idea.
That was brilliant. That was it. And they're going to fill it with explosives that
have already been proven to not work on Godzilla and poison gas
and assume that it's going to work on Godzilla. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but hey,
listen, when you're the military, you got to make plans against Godzilla, all right?
It's not like they're getting ready to drop giant nets on him or something.
Jesus. He falls into the pit and they begin the barrage
of bombing and gas poisoning. And the world goes silent.
After the bulk of the explosions are finally done, they begin to see
what the results are. And that leads to our eighth.
He's alive. Godzilla has crossed the first line
of defense. He seems indestructible. On the advice of Dr.
Johnson, a blockade of high tension wires containing more than 1 million volts of
electricity is being hastily linked around Tokyo. It was
observed in his attack on the train at Hokkaido that he moved away from the
high tension wires whenever possible. Yet, Dr.
Johnson, you have stated that King Kong grows stronger from electricity.
Yes. For some reason we do not yet understand, Kong draws
strength from electric voltage. Then if the electric blockade stop Godzilla,
it would not stop Kong. No, it would not. Thank you, Dr. Johnson. I'm sorry
to interrupt, but we're switching now to the Northwest perimeter, where Premier Shigezawa
has gone to inspect the electrical blockade. All thoughts here are centered
on repulsing Godzilla and saving Tokyo and over 10 million people
from certain death. The blockade is ready. The only question
is, will it work?
Godzilla.
Connect tension.
Like I said, I'm leaving all the Godzilla roars in when I can. You have
to. Kong getting power from electricity is a work that they created for
this film. And so that he could, like we said, have any kind of a
chance of fighting Godzilla. And then also, having this particular version of
Godzilla in this movie, weak to electricity is also a complete work.
Before, he just didn't like getting shocked, so he would just avoid it. Now he's
weak to electricity because they have to have some kind of a work. You gotta
have some way of beating Kong. Yeah. Kong doesn't have a shoot on this.
He's gotta have to work. That's just how it is.
Yeah. At the end of the clip, the electrical ploy
maneuvers Godzilla. Just as Kong has decided to come back for
some more after being burnt like a kebab the first time. This triggers
more evacuation footage in our ninth clip. What?
Well, we'll be right over. King Kong approaching electrical
blockade. All civilians evacuate immediately.
Headshot. General Shinsa. There he is.
King Kong has entered Tokyo. You'd better leave tonight.
Ships in harbor are waiting to evacuate all civilians. King Kong
has entered Tokyo. All civilians evacuate immediately. I won't
leave you. Get going. Sir, what about
the atom bomb? I'm not ready to discuss it. But it's our only chance.
We hope it is not. What? Why not?
Because we're not anxious to destroy Tokyo, that's why. Doctor, what can
you tell us? Please, sir, tell us something. There is nothing more to say.
The atom bomb is ready and waiting. But first, we must
evacuate Tokyo and perhaps all Japan.
Fujita. Fujita. Kong, quote,
unquote, powers up on some power lines and smashes a building
before kidnapping a girl from a train. He smashes up to get her out
of it. He then stomps his way around the city, smashing the shit out
of it while lugging that poor screaming lady around with him. He approaches
a building and they formulate a plan on what to do with this druggie ape.
In our 10th clip, hit him with the lights.
General, the guns are ready, but they won't stop him.
King Kong will only become angrier.
Soldier, I'm in charge. You listen
to me. Attention, all gun batteries. Attention, all gun batteries. Stop.
Stop. Listen, you can't start shooting at Kong now.
He's home, holding My sister in his hand.
Hold your fire. Yes, sir. Hold fire.
I can see her. She's alive. But we can't
hold our fire for long. King Kong must not be allowed
to escape. Let her go.
Put her down, you ugly monster.
Let her go, Willadoo. I know what's up.
Chad, get my drums right away. Sure I can stop him,
sir. You can? Yes, I'm sure we can put him to sleep.
Soma. A perfect idea.
We can explode them from above. Hey, that's right.
You have the berry juice put inside the head of a rocket.
The exploding fumes will put him to sleep. Yeah. Obashi. Yes, sir. Get the
soma from my office. Yes, sir. You can't do that. Famiko's up
there. There. Don't worry. It's all going to work out. Taco. I hope we're right.
King Kong can't make a monkey out of us.
Easy with that stuff. Get those last questions. Easy.
Here. Get that sound tape ready. What if it doesn't work?
It's got to work. Keep your
fingers crossed. I'm gonna go.
Ready. Good.
Ready here. Ready. Fire one.
Fire two.
As you heard, they gas bomb Kong with more berry juice in concentrated
gas form. The music starts to lull him to sleep. And he slides down
the building and then falls down onto it. And then slides down
onto his back on the ground. As the men approach and free the young
woman, the love interest runs in and drags her back in our
11th clip. Hey, help up. My arms are
tired.
She's free. He's got her.
Go. Famico.
Famico, are you all right? Famico.
Famo. Sakura. How do you feel? Fujita.
I'm here, dear. There's the ambulance. Take her this way.
Easy now. Careful. Congratulations, fellas.
Good job. My gosh. Congratulations.
Congratulations, men. Sir, Godzilla's at Mount Fuji.
Gentlemen, our blockade cannot last forever.
We must act. The atomic bomb is out of the question.
Our only chance is somehow to bring them together.
Kong versus Godzilla. If we are lucky, both will
die. Bozaldi. But how can we move him,
General? An airlift with balloons.
Vegeta, your wire will hold Kong, won't it?
Sure. Let us try. All right.
Good. Let's go. This starts a sequence of them wiring up and roping up
Kong so that they can use huge balloons filled with helium to
lift him into the sky and drop him on Godzilla like an ape shaped
bomb. They prep it, and that leads to our 12th clip.
Whenever you're ready, Kong's ready.
Sir, Operation Kong is ready.
Proceed. Take him up.
Hey, look at that. Hey, the same
way. That wire of yours is great.
It's holding him. Great publicity,
huh? How soon do you figure we'll be there? By morning.
Good. Faster,
Faster. Look, Khan's waking up.
There's Godzilla. Look below.
Okay, drop him.
I can promise you that them airlifting Kong being
pulled along by helicopters with giant helium balloons
tied to him is definitely where Rampage got
the idea of carrying in your monster riding
on like a one of those, like dirigible balloons that used to be
on top of a football game in the day.
Agreed. All right. So with
that, they drop Kong onto Godzilla, and Kong slides down
the hill, knocking Godzilla further down the mountain. Both monsters
regain their footing and race back up the mountain. Kong hides to try
to get the drop on Godzilla and grabs the Big G's tail,
but is knocked on his ape ass nonetheless by the power of the tail.
Godzilla tries to climb to higher ground and Kong tries to drag him
back with his tail. That's weird and awkward, but that's. That's how they're fighting.
Yeah. They stop this. Seems like they one of those two just get a
room. They stop this weird ass grabassery as Kong nails
Godzilla with a boulder and Godzilla knocks one back, nailing Kong.
Using his tail with his back turned, Kong smashes Godzilla
with one more boulder. Godzilla then uses his atomic breath, making the
ape jump back. And they charge at each other and
do a good old fashioned wrestling and trying to throw each other to
the ground before Godzilla burns Kong with a blast. Once again,
they go for a tumble down the mountain, smacking and biting
all the way down. Godzilla has trouble standing up on the grade
that he's on, and Kong gets footing and starts chucking boulders
again, only to have Big G get his footing. And then Kong loses
his with a boulder toss. And then he bumble tumbles his
way at Godzilla until Big G sidesteps
that fumbling mess. To have Kong smash his dumb ape face onto
a boulder, which lays him out cold. He rolled a critical failure
on. On that last boulder toss. Yeah, that was a one at best.
For his boulder tossing. Check. Not acuity, but like dexterity
while he was tossing. Yeah, dexterity check. Yeah, he rolled.
That's a one at best. A one at best on his deck.
Dexterity check. Yeah, yeah. Godzilla walks over and smacks
the rocks onto Kong when he should just fry his stupid
ape ass right the fuck now with his atomic breath like,
what the fuck? Right? Plot armor. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.
Plot armor. Come on, man. He instead kicks rocks on him and smacks
him A bunch with his tail. Kong springs to life and they throw
down until a stop motion animation. Godzilla stands up
on his tail high enough to use both of his legs to horse
kick Kong the fuck down the side of the mountain
before burying him in more rocks. And he. He kicks on
his way to him and then smashing him with his tail a bunch more.
He then burns the fuck out of the trees right next to Kong. But not
the ape himself again, which is plot armor. And it's such a fucking
work. Anyway. More plot armor. That le to our
13th clip. Ooh, Godzilla is roasting King Kong.
Electrical storm up ahead of us, Sir. Lightning bolts.
Kong has a chance. Electricity makes him stronger. Now watch.
Electricity makes him stronger. Uh huh. I like how even that one character
was like, wait, that's new. I've never heard that before. Electricity makes Kong stronger.
And the other guy's like, shut up. That's what the writers told us. Just go
along with it. Shut up, idiot.
At the end of the clip, Kong now shows off his electricity power
quote unquote, where he gets struck by lightning. And now is one of
the three storms from Big Trouble in Little China.
The pair tussles again. Kong shoves a tree into Godzilla's mouth,
who launches it while on fire at Kong's chest
with his atomic breath. And then Kong judo flips Big G
before the pair end up in another shoving match, destroying the small
structures of a civilian dwelling underneath. There's some more of that model
smashing Kaiju fighting in this sequence. And then it has
it back to the suits where they're kind of cutting back and forth with stop
motion and then some model stop motion stuff. And then back
with the suits with the models around in the background that they're smashing.
And then we're back to the same historic landmark that I'm pretty sure got smashed
up with Anguirus and Godzilla. But I'm not 100% sure, but it
looks very similar to that. They sure do love to destroy them.
They sure do love destroying shit. And then this one is actually
destroyed by the two monsters swinging at each other with the building in
between them. The pair fall into the ocean in their fury
and cause a tsunami and an earthquake on land at the same
time, which collapses a small village. In a Superman
type earthquake sequence where the ground opens up and everything falls in.
This triggers an avalanche as well, and then floods a valley.
It's just mass destruction all around. Kong is then immediately seen
swimming away after that battle. And that leads to our final clip.
What's that? Earthquake. Earthquake.
Look Kong is swimming safely out to sea. No Godzilla.
That's wonderful. I hope we've seen the last of them for a long
time. Godzilla has disappeared without a trace. As for
King Kong, our international communications satellite is
following him. And strangely enough, we wish him
luck on his long, long journey home.
Kong roars and they flash the words. The end roll
credits. Cinema psyops.
All right, so I have no problem with Kong being able to
defeat Godzilla in some way, shape or form. We already kind of discussed
that. He needs some kind of a plot armor because how else is he going
to be able to do it? I mean, exactly. Logically speaking, once the
atomic breath comes out, it's over for any mammal.
I don't care about the size of them. Unless you somehow like,
explain how King Kong also operates on the same radiation
that Godzilla does he. But it burnt his fur.
If he had radiation, he wouldn't have fur, he'd be bald.
I'm just saying. Yeah, it's just weird that they were
able like. Yeah, I don't know, man. Atomic breath probably should
kill just about everything. Well, just a giant sized gorilla.
Just because it looks like to what we recognize as a gorilla doesn't mean that
King Kong is the same species as a gorilla and could
be operating on some type of, of radiation like Godzilla does where
he feeds on it too. Like they, they could do that and they could explain
that and they could be like, well, obviously the native peoples and the first people
to encounter King Kong didn't know that. And then in this case, it's not even
the same King Kong from the 30s because they go to a whole new island
called Faroe island and go. And get this King Kong and they get
a new King Kong. But they're still going to call it King Kong. Right?
Right, but it's still supposed to be King Kong. But the way that they established
they don't. They didn't even establish until like he starts coming into
contact with Godzilla that the ape has any kind of elect electricity powers,
like the thunderstorm and the lightning. They should have shown Kong like powering up
there on the island and then would just. They would have just been like,
wait a minute, this gorilla can just get shocked by electricity
and it powers him? You know, like the islanders could explain. Yes, that's he's
a thunder God too, or whatever. That's what's happening, right? Like,
yeah, well, if you're going to sell me on a work, you got to put
that work in at the start of your story, right? Yeah, like, yeah, you can't
just all of a sudden develop these fucking powers, you know?
Like, it just doesn't. It just doesn't work. The way that
they tried to make Shoehorn it in there. We're like, wow, we know. Blah,
blah, blah. And it's like, wait, no. And I don't even know if that was
originally going to be in the storyline that. That King Kong could have electrical powers
or if that was just this version of it. That is probably the only version
we have left. Because why else would Criterion include just this version
of it? Exactly. Right. I don't know. Yeah, the film's a.
It's a little daunting. It's a little confusing. And, like, I'm not. I'm not angry.
I'm not like, you know, getting all up in arms about it. It's just that,
logically speaking, somebody like King Kong basically has no chance.
That's why we see Godzilla defeat every other fucking creature he into
contact with. Whenever he's the good guy with his atomic breath or
he loses his atomic breath and he has to find another way. Yeah.
Because that shit is deadly to, like,
95% of the Kaiju out there, let alone
everything else that exists on Earth. Yeah. Anything living. You know,
typically nuclear. Anything is hurtful to anything living.
Right, Right. It's going to fuck up. Except for apparently Kong or not
Kong. Except for apparently Godzilla, who thrives on that
shit. Yeah. He apparently is nuclear reactor
in a lizard shape. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, let's get to my
story of Snowmageddon. Unless you have some more complaining to do about how this was
a work that King Kong could beat Godzilla. Because I'm glad we're in accordance.
I got no arguing to do. I'm done. Yeah, no, I've got no arguments.
Let's go. All right, so up next on the pirate radio edit, also from 1962,
Sam Cooke and Twisting the Night away. Because, fuck, yes, Sam Cooke's coming
back on the show. Yeah. On the pirate radio. Hey,
it's Bo here. You may remember me from such websites as
LegionPodcasts.com which is the one I happen to
host, and it's the one that hosts your show
as well, the Cinema Psyops. And I gotta say,
I. I recently left you guys a message,
hopefully taken in the spirit of constructive criticism about,
you know, the potty mouth, the trash talk that happens on. On the
cinema of Psyops. And I feel like that was not taken
in the spirit in which it was intended. Instead,
your show has lashed out at Hail Mean, the cash
Cow of Legion podcast. The. The big hitter, the gold boy.
And all I'm saying is knock it off, will you? Because that's
what's paying the bills around here, all right? It ain't my stuff.
It ain't. It ain't the cinema psyops. Although in fairness,
you guys are doing pretty well. But that's not the point. Point. The point
is that he can't go after the. The Almost
the flagship show of this whole network because.
Mostly because of a message I left, for God's sakes. So look, all I'm
saying, like, just. Just rather than lash out all
willy nilly at other shows on the network whether I mention them or not.
All right, this is gonna sound a little weird at first, and I know it's
a little bit like a hick of me to say it this way, but just
go with me, okay? Right. Sam Cooke's voice. Sam, sounds to
me like how it feels to watch butter get spread across the top of
a cornbread muffin like that. Like that feeling of just like knowing that you're
about to have a bite of that cornbread muffin. That feeling when the butter melts
on top of it, like, that's that. That level of like just smooth and buttery
and just immediate joy. Right? That's what Sam Cook's voice
brings out in me. All right, man. I mean, dude, it's a great voice
that is oddly specific. You've been really thinking about this.
Well, I've been in keto so long, I crave cornbread now like a motherfucker.
But that's. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, that has nothing to do with my story time.
Story time.
Story time. So, as Matt had mentioned,
we had an Icemageddon. Or literally the
plot of the ice harvest was recreated in our town on
Friday night, where we had an inch and a half to two inches of
ice on everything and the temperature remaining
well below freezing the entirety of the night, effectively turning every
surface in Omaha that wasn't textured in some way into a
fucking ice rink. That sound about. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Everyone had
fun. I had so much fucking fun.
So Beverly and I have a
dinner party arrangement that we're going to be going to. It's actually a
specific casino night. It was a work party function that was
for a very big place that we were going
to go to. We had to go down to Chi Health center, essentially downtown.
The big stadium downtown. Well, anyway, we both
have been getting ready and not paying attention to anything other than
us trying to get ready for this function. I even got
off work early to be able to go do it. So, you know, I'm shaving
my head and like shaping my beard and you know, hot brushing
it and all of that. I got on a suit. That's how nice this
function is supposed to be. And I, I'm wearing a dress shirt, no tie.
And my dress shirt has embroidered cobwebs or
spiderwebs on the collars coming off from the corners and then up and feeding out.
Like I'm going for like a sort of goth chic hillbilly look because I have
the beard and the beard covers up the shirt anyway, so you don't really see
the collar. You kind of do in some of the photos. Anyway,
so I'm all dressed up. My wife is basically almost cosplaying
Mrs. White from Clue because she's wearing a black dress and she had
on this like really nice like shaw sweater over top and then she flat ironed
her hair and I swear she looked like Madeline Connor from that show. Nice.
Yeah, I was really into that, by the way. I'm sure.
Which is why I put on the suit. I was like, I got to compete
with that, man. You got to get just look like some slub.
Right. I'm feeling amazing, right. Because this is a suit that
I wore to a buddy's wedding just a couple of years ago. It's a new
suit that I just got that couple of years ago. The pants are super loose
now. They're like two sizes too big. No, damn. Four sizes
too big now. I'm sorry, I just did the math in my head and the
suit coat is actually just starting to get a little bit loose. It looks like
I bought it off the rack without trying it on. Loose, like. But no,
but not like David Byrne loose. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like it's.
No, I gotcha. It like it fits, but it looks like I just tried it
on and went, yeah, this will do. You know what I mean? Like that kind
of fit. Not like fitted fitted like it was when I bought it for the
wedding. Anyway, long story short, too late, too late. We're ready to
go. We have a lift ordered because my wife is going to be drinking and
I was actually planning on maybe having a couple at this party. So we're going
to lift down and lift back because we know the weather wasn't going to be
that great. And then we're like, well, our Lyft driver was supposed
to be here like four minutes ago. So she goes to look on
the map. And our left driver is about two or three streets over on a
hill area, and her car is doing all sorts of weird things
on the map. And we're like, what's going on? Something's not
right. You know what I mean? Like, we're thinking that the map's malfunctioning, or maybe
she got stuck somewhere, or, you know, what happened. And then we're thinking,
yes, she probably got stuck. And so then I look outside and I
see how bad the ice is everywhere. And I'm like, okay,
well, if she can get here, do you still want her to take us downtown?
Because that's really bad. The ice is really, really bad. And Bev's like, I don't
know. What. How do we get back? I'm like, maybe it'll get better. And we
get later at night if we get down there. And she's like, I don't know,
you know? So I go and I salt the walkway out to where
the caller is going to be, and I salt around where the car is going
to be, so. Because Bev's very clumsy and I don't want her to get hurt.
And about that time, we get back, and the lady basically texts
Bev and asks her to cancel the ride. Yeah, and then the lady tried to
call Bev to ask her to cancel the ride, right? And so we
get the lady on the phone, and she's sliding around and stuck and
trapped just a couple of streets over, and she can't get out. And if she
moves and tries to, like, move her car anymore, she's just going to slide into
a parked car on the street, and she doesn't want to do that. So she's
just basically stuck and she doesn't know what to do. Right? And she's just sucks.
She's so apologetic to us, and we're like, lady, you. You got to get yourself.
I was like, don't waste your call on us. We will absolutely cancel
the ride. That is fine. Just do what you gotta do to get safe,
you know? Like, just be sure that you're safe and that you're taken care
of. And so, like, we hear her talk about how another guy is, like,
coming down the street way too fast. She's like, he's so fucked. He's so fucked.
And she's like, he's gonna hit me. And then we're just like, oh, God,
we're gonna hear an accident on the phone, right? You know, and be able to
get used to it. But no, thankfully, the guy slides Way past her,
and then goes and hits something else or something along those lines.
And then we cancel the ride, and we let the lady off the phone,
and we're like, you need this line open so you can call for help if
need be. You should not be talking to us anymore. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Right. So, like, we let her go. We canceled the ride. And then I
text some people that we were going to be going there, and we're like,
sorry, we're not going to make it to this function. I am so sorry.
You know? Oh, man. And, like, several hours later,
I get a text back from the person, and they're like, no, it's no problem.
They text me a photo of, like, this table with all of these cups,
and there's a few of them missing here and there. But it was a huge
table that was very clearly filled with cups with names on them and,
like, stuff like that, where it's like, you know, this is how you get your
drinks. Here's your tickets for, you know, the games and stuff that you're allowed
to be playing or that are there for you to play, all that kind of
stuff. And it's literally, like, 10 are taken from where there was, like,
500 people expected or something like that. You know what I'm saying? Like,
it's just like, it's filled still. He's like, barely anybody
was able to make it because of Icemageddon. Icemageddon really
fucked a lot of people's Fridays, I'll tell you that right now.
Yeah. And, well, we're. We're done, and we decided
to take some photos, so obviously we're not going to go out. And we decided
to stay in and stay safe, which is the best outcome for Beverly and myself,
obviously. Best outcome for everyone was to stay inside and stay safe.
Right. So we decided to take some photos while we're in the outfits before we
take them off, which we do. We take a. We have a nice little photo
shoot and in front of our Christmas tree and stuff, and then we take the
outfits off. And then it was Friday the 13th, so we watched Friday the 13th,
and then Joe Bob was on. So we watched Joe Bob and just kind of
hung out and had a good time that way. Yeah. But through the course
of the night, I heard pileups. I saw pileups. I saw people sliding
and a slipping and not getting stuck. I saw someone almost make
things really bad for everybody and slide almost all the way off
the curb into a fire hydrant that was on somebody's property.
Jesus. Right, like, at the base of the hill, like, right before it
goes up the hill towards my house, and then further up the hill, the other
direction. That, like, little hump in the street there. That's, like a cross
section by my house. It's just. It's enough of a dip to
where a pool of water would have made an even worse ice skating rink right
there if that thing went off. And it would have coated all of the power
lines and all of that stuff and just started freezing, and it would have just
been a nightmare if this person did that. Yeah. Not good. I watched
them go further up a hill in another direction, trying a smaller hill, thinking they
could get out of the way. And then when they tried to turn right,
they spun out and got stuck at the top of the hill, and they abandoned
their car there, justifiably so. With their blinkers on.
And then someone came down the hill near them and broadsided and T
boned that empty car, slid it down the hill and,
like, off to the side. And then it curb checked and stopped and spun back
around and hit the other car. That person pulled over,
made sure no one was in the car, and then took the fuck off.
And just right after that. Yep. Oh,
yeah. Oh, my God. So many cars were abandoned. Yeah. It's. It's insane.
Like, it's just absolutely insane.
Yeah. What ended up happening? And that was just the
stuff that I saw while looking out the windows of my house, like. And that's.
Yeah. My Lord. Yeah. And that was. That was the Icemageddon.
And next week, we're going to have your story time for that. But for now,
let's go ahead and do the show Housekeeping. And we will have Booker t.
And the MG's with the song Green Onions from
1962 immediately following this. If you've
decided you can't get enough. Taught you how to live your lives. I'm not telling
you how to run your shows. What I'm trying to do is tell you there's
a way to. To get more listeners. You know, I'm not even saying you.
You have to go totally clean. Just clean it up some, you know, you don't
have to do a Disney movie. All right? So we're going to. Peace Bow,
man. You know what? I was thinking about this, and it might be for the
best, Bo's okay. As long as we're making an effort. Yeah. Oh, my God.
That's gonna be awesome. Yeah. Dude. You don't have to do a Disney movie
or something just to make Things, right? It's a Disney show. It'll be great.
It'll be nostalgia. It's gonna be family friendly. You don't have to do a Disney
movie. You just, you know, soap up the mouth a little bit. We'll have a
couple slip ups. But Rome wasn't built in the day. This is definitely a step
in the right direction to appease BO Maybe don't drop so many curse words.
We're going to try and do something where we're a little bit more cleaned up.
I mean, we're still going to slip. There's nothing we can do about that.
I don't want to point fingers here. I don't. I don't want you to think
that I don't enjoy your work. I do. I love my cinema psyops.
But you got to, you know, just ease off the throttle,
man. Take it. Take it from fifth to fourth. See how that treats you.
And I, I think you'll be, is pleasantly surprised by the results.
Again, I hope you take this in the spirit in which it was intended,
which is not as a mandate of any kind, but as a suggestion that
I strongly urge you to follow rather
than incur more conflict and, and messages like this.
Maybe a formal apology would be nice. Mistakes happen, you know.
Cinema puppy. Who doesn't love a puppy? That's all I'm saying.
So, guys, again, how about we, we. Take another
stab at this? We wipe the slate clean. No harm, no foul,
and we take another approach. Just try it. Try something
different. Try something unusual. Just for once,
see what it's like. All I'm asking. All right, guys, I look
forward to, to hearing what comes next. Yeah, but if we keep doing this
kind of stuff, we're gonna have to change the name of the show because it's
not about psychology anymore. It's about racism. Wait,
racism? Yeah. You never seen Song of the South? I'm not aware
of such a movie. Friar Rabbit. Oh, yes. Flash Mountain. That was a fun ride.
Oh, you have no idea what you just got yourself into. What just happened?
We are totally covering Song of the South. Is this gonna be a different
kind of ride? Oh, yeah. You better not ruin my childhood.
That's all right, dude. Disney had it coming.
One of the greatest improvised jams in all of rock
history is that song Green Onions. For sure.
Sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's good stuff.
I am probably gonna let that jam play out way longer than
I probably should. And not just to pad out the episode, but because it rules.
And the people that need to hear it are gonna be listening to the pirate
radio in it for sure. Yeah, right.
All right, well, while you're trying to parse out what the I meant by all
of that weird word salad I just spit out, go ahead and
try not to ignore the fact that I've been doing that for the entirety of
my career as a podcaster and kick the out of this weekend. Make it
your while you enjoy Ray Charles with I
can't stop loving you on the pirate radio edit from 1963.
Hey. Hey, man, what are you doing? Oh, hacking.
Why? Because we need better numbers to win this
fight, and I found a very easy way to be able to do it.
Oh. I'm redirecting all of the hits from Hailman to
our site for the Legion Podcast network. But why?
Well, because every episode that they get downloaded, we now get credit
for. Oh, I'm following. You have no idea
what I'm talking about. To you. No, no, no, no, I get it,
but maybe you should explain it again in case one of the bots didn't quite
understand what you're doing. Okay. Basically, every time someone
listens to Hail Mang, it goes to our site. We get the credit.
Right? Okay. Don't I have to understand this? No.
Okay, it's done already. And the time it took me to explain, I did it.
Well, now we have no problems. And hopefully this will trick Bo enough into
thinking that we're getting better download numbers than Hail Ming now, and we
can continue being filthy. And maybe the whole network can. There are far more garbage
people in this world. You should buy it.
But we're recording. At least now. Recording in progress.
Yay. There we go. Did you hear? You did. You heard the yeah, because you
were just responding. Yeah, I was doing the yeah. All right. Might as well just
do mine first, because it's a first in order, and we're not very good at
recording out of continuity. We proved that time and time again, all the time.
And by we, I mean you. How dare you be so accurate.
Yeah, I keep forgetting when I did mine, but you always go,
fuck. Yeah, I really did use last week and next week. I was always wrong
on those. Yeah, I didn't really realize that until just now. What? That I was
always wrong the next week, last week, whenever I would say that.
No, we recorded in order because you messed that up. If we.
If we don't, we. You would mess it up. The continuity of that. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. I just realized. Yeah, we did
that as a shtick for, like, the longest time. Just because I thought, like,
you weren't doing it on like. I thought you were doing it on purpose for
a while, but it turns out. No, no, I. I was definitely doing that on
accident. All right, well, it. It's all
right, but they can't take a joke. It's all right.
With the magic of my editing, I make it seem like you know what you're
talking about. You David Copperfield over
here? No, I'm just a damn good editor when it comes to my podcast,
that's all. And lots of practice. Yeah, 89 weeks of it. So let's
get going. Here we go. Let's do it. All right.
King Kong versus Godzilla, episode 489.
Three, two, one. Just a minute. I'm organizing clips.
Bye. Come on. Three,
two, one. At the
end of the. Because we're not anxious to destroy Tokyo,
that's why. Doctor, what can you tell us, please. Sir, tell us That's.
We're always ready to destroy. Something is ready
and waiting. He's holding my sister in his hand as Kong
does.
Hello. Hey there, Court Bo
again. It has come to my attention
that there are fluctuations in
the numbers between the two shows. And upon investigation,
I realized you are actually stealing their
numbers. Yeah, it's. It's unethical. And mostly,
I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, but. Knock it off.
Then again, I mean, you found a way to actually
steal a show's numbers, and that's no small feat,
right? What are you saying? Look, I'm not
saying you should steal.
Numbers from other network shows, right? You know,
you hand back the numbers you took from Hail Me,
okay? And if we see numbers on the shows on the rest of the network
rise, then, you know, so be it. That's. That's not a bad
thing. Gotcha. All right, well,
while you're trying to parse up out what the I meant by all of that
weird word salad I just spit out. Go ahead.
And try not to ignore the fact that I've been doing that for the entirety
of my career as a podcaster and kick the out of this weekend.
Make it your while you enjoy Ray Charles with I
can't Stop Loving you on the pirate radio edit from 1962.
All right, we need to get the break in, so let's go ahead and stop
the recording now. Yes. Recording stopped.