Cinema PSYOPS

There is very little time or point in an explanation. To be blunt,

the audio came from a timeline and dimension that has collapsed

at a quantum level, rendering it null and void in terms of existence.

Operational time in the dimensional continuum where the beings that created the

audio collapsed in on itself, rendering all of their civilization,

including technology, null and void. Timelines across

the entire continuum are collapsing and changing. The destruction has

a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.

10 years. Man 10.

10 years.

10 years. Man 10 years. 10 years.

10. 10 years. 10 years.

What is the most likely way humanity. Will be wiped out? Maybe it's something.

Or us. Although the way the world ends might be because

of you. And if this is the case, you wouldn't have any control

over it. The global temperature rise underscores a chilling

reality. Our planet is trying to tell us. Something, but we don't

seem to be listening. A recent study has suggested that one third of

annual deaths due to heat are directly related to global warming.

On top of the initial flash of thermonuclear light,

which is 180 million degrees, which catches everything, everything on fire

in a nine mile diameter radius. On top of the bulldozing

effect of the wind and all the buildings coming down, and more fires igniting

more fires on top of the radiation, if they happen to have survived poisoning people

to death. On top of all that, each one of these fires creates

a mega fire that is a hundred or more square miles.

Timelines across the entire continuum are collapsing and changing.

The destruction has a nexus that centers on Cinema PsyOps.

A breathtaking scientific revolution is taking place.

Biotechnology has been progressing at stunning speed,

giving us the tools to eventually gain control over biology.

Solving the deadliest diseases while also creating viruses

more dangerous than nuclear bombs, able to devastate humanity.

It's man returning to the most primal,

violent state as people fight over the tiny

resources that remain. What if the world we live in. Is just

a dream or a simulation? Whether it's a dream or some advanced

computer game you are playing right now, when it ends,

you would be what. Causes the end of the world. Please do us all a

favor. Continue dreaming or playing this game of life.

Because when you wake up or unplug, there's a chance the rest of us will

be blaked out of existence. Timelines across the entire continuum

are collapsing and changing. The destruction has a nexus that centers on

Cinema Sylps. 10 years.

10 years. Hello.

Well, everybody's bored with me doing that anyway, and welcome to

Cinema Psyops. This is the 489th

consecutive week that we have recorded and released this fucking show.

And joining me in the ever so excruciatingly exhausting

work that makes this show happen, it's my co host, Matt Woo.

I'm not tired at all. I'm just fine. I haven't died.

Neither one of us is overworked and stressed out and underappreciated in

any way, shape or form in our private lives. Not let alone our podcast

lives where we shout into the void and no one responds. Nope. We shout into

the void and then the void says nothing back.

The void. Just like my parents. Mildly disappointed.

Also like Matt's parents. Yeah, also like Matt.

I should give them a call. They never pick up.

I know for a fact that that's not true. I've just seen them recently over

that holiday weekend. And my parents do care for me. So that's.

That's something. Somebody has to. Yeah,

right. You know, the world.

The world is dark enough. We don't need to keep doing this kind of,

you know, beat up on Match Dick. Even though I really, truly enjoy it more

than I really should. Right. How did you survive Icema getting?

We had ice me getting here, folks. Actually, I think that should just be both

our story times. I'll do my ice. I think so. I'm with you. Yeah.

Your next week can be your Icemageddon story. That work for you for it?

You know what? That was a great idea. Good idea, Court. I had no idea

what I was going to do for story time this week. Yeah, well, I was

going to suggest that off Mike before we even got started. Like that would have

been an. Oh, there you go. But I totally just spaced it just because we

got a later start, probably from Icemageddon. That's my

guess. And a few. Yeah. Because there are things I was going to

do yesterday for my job that I couldn't because

of Icemageddon, so I had to do it today.

Yeah, yeah. Kind of same for my story a little bit, but not really.

But anyway, nobody is tuning in to hear that until it's actually

story time. So let's actually get started with the coverage for King Kong versus

Godzilla. This is something that I had mentioned to you and I'm going

to bring it up here and we'll kind of reiterate more on your episode.

But the versions of the films that we are viewing and doing reviews

for come from the showa era of the Godzilla

movies. And that is the Criterion Collections

version that we're specifically watching that new box set that recently came out

it's that book with the sort of art deco cover I'm sure everybody's probably seen.

So those specific versions are the ones that Criterion selected for their specific

collection that we're reviewing currently. Because I bought it, and why the fuck not?

It's the best looking versions of all of those particular films that I've seen.

And now this is me making an assumption about what Criterion

chose and why they chose it the way they chose it. I think the Criterion

went for the most complete and,

you know, story and version of these Godzilla

films that they could for that box set. And most of

those, inarguably, would be the original Japanese version. So there's

going to be a lot of these that are going to just be subtitled with

the original Japanese language version. Are there English language versions that exist

out there of, say, next week yours is going to be subtitled, which is

Mothra versus Godzilla? Yeah, absolutely. There are.

There are English language dubs of it. There are shorter versions of it.

There are cut versions of it. But since these are the most complete

stories, I think it's worth suffering through not having clips

as a backup and just kind of having shorter episodes to go through the story

as we go through the story. I think it's fine because, yeah, I think so.

It's still at least the most complete story. And the reason that I mentioned that

is for my movie, I don't think an original Japanese

version without all of the overdubs and all of the English language

explaining everything you're seeing on screen, without any actual dialogue

from the Japanese cast, that ends up happening in my movie of King Kong versus

Godzilla. This, I think, is the only version that's left. I think this is the

only surviving version of this movie. That's why it's really English. Really?

Yeah. Oh, Jesus. That's the assumption that I'm making here,

that there is not another version, or at least one that Criterion themselves could

get their hands on. Because this version feels like it's kind of hurried

along with the story quite a bit in a lot of spots. And most of

it is explained through dialogue of international reporters talking directly,

directly to the screen. That does not feel like it was shot at

the same time as all the Godzilla footage, for fuck's sake.

Yeah. So it's a weird hodgepodge of a film.

It's kind of a bit of a mess here and there, but I still do

dearly love it. And it has some of the benchmark.

Monster versus monster fighting is like. I know that we were talking

about, like, various Other fights, like how Anguirus would be sort of

like the template for all of the other ones. And that's absolutely true when it's

monster versus monster. But the one, the touchstone,

the one that everybody thinks about. Right, right. And the one that like whenever

they talk about the epic battle, what's the one that they always say, right,

King Kong versus Godzilla. King Kong always. That's always the monster

one. You want to see King Kong being more of an American, you know,

creation and then Godzilla being the Japanese creation for big,

large creatures. And it is fair to state that the original filmmakers

that made Godzilla took very heavily influence from

the King Kong film from the 30s. That was the stop motion animation version of

King Kong. Yeah, that's very much obvious. And they were leveraging

and trying to get King Kong into this monsterverse right from

the beginning. I mean, even before this film. Right. I mean, like, I think

like Anguirus was supposed to be or they were trying to do getting

Godzilla and King Kong fighting. They've been trying forever until they finally succeeded here in

1962. So enough beating around the bush and kind of talking about it.

Let's get into King Kong versus Godzilla proper.

So once again, pirate radio edit like we've been doing all along.

All songs featured in the same year or that were popular in the year

of the release of the film that we're covering. So for 1962, up first

is little Ava with the song Locomotion immediately following

this on the pirate radio edit. This will keep you quiet.

Oh, hi there. I didn't see you. You call me cutting

a new show. I'm Bo Ransdell and I'm one of the mini creators.

Hello folks. Are you or anyone you know suffering from

stg? Sexy but scary. Have you or anyone

you've recently been with been followed by something

that seems to change shape and form and keeps.

Following Bacon stairs sometimes hot nake.

You might be suffering from sexually transmitted ghosts.

Sexually transmitted ghosts affect one out of every million

people. Pretty good. Odd. You must be careful for anyone that

you have intercourse with. No level of protection will save you from

sexually transmitted ghosts. Ditch the condoms. Sexually transmitted

ghosts can in fact lead up to your death. And the only way

you can save yourself is to pass the disorder on to the next person and

hope that they survive. I mean like chlamydia. Because once the sexually

transmitted GH gruesomely murders your sexual partner,

it comes back for you and follows the line all the way back to the

beginning of the curse. Feeling that as bad as pregnancy There.

Is currently no known cure for sexually transmitted ghosts.

There is also no way to prevent sexually transmitted ghosts.

Baby butt sex. Except for abstinence. Am I right,

guys? Also, the rules of how and why a sexually transmitted

ghost will haunt you is completely unknown. You sort of have

to figure it out on your own. If you or anyone you know is suffering

from a sexually transmitted ghost, please, please believe their stories. Because only

they can see the ghost. You have to believe them. Otherwise you

may see them folded in half right in front of you by an invisible force

you can't control. Time to start friend zoning. Sexually transmitted

ghosts are real. Please do not consider them to be a falsehood

or a form of mental illness. Sexually transmitted ghosts do

in fact exist. Unless of course, it's madness brought on.

By untreated gonorrhea or syphilis. Therefore, you must never

ever have sex. This is a morality tale. All sorts of sex,

except appropriation is wrong. Because sexually transmitted

ghosts, blood work prohibited. Sexually transmitted diseases do in fact happen with them without a

condom. Especially sexually transmitted ghosts. Even in the body,

you know. Covering films from this era and playing songs that

are from the era that we are doing the coverage for

is one of my favorite pirate radio edit tricks. I. I really love

it. It gets you in the mood for the era that you're talking about that

the film was released in. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, I get you.

It's so fun. Yeah. That's all I'm trying to do is just put a little

fun and hope into this bleak fucking world we're living in, my friend.

That's it. Good luck, sir. Well, why don't

we give it a shot with covering King Kong vs Godzilla up first in the

first 30 minutes. It was a 90 minute film, so I

broke it into, well, thirds of 30 minutes each on the first

30 minutes. After a full minute of opening credits, we get a

model shot of the earth and some sci fi theremin music when there

is finally some dialogue which makes up our first really

long clip. There are more things in heaven and earth,

Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

This is United nations reporter Eric Carter with the new.

As the series of earthquakes continue to destroy Chile,

the United nations has granted immediate emergency aid.

Transport planes laden with food and medical supplies have already

been dispatched to the stricken area. Through the facilities of the international

communications satellite. We take you live to Santiago de Chile and our UN

report. Rodrigo Infanta. Hello, Santiago. This is

Eric Carter in New York. Hello, Eric. This is Rodrigo

Infanta reporting via ICS from the UN newsroom

in Santiago de Chile. The planes have already arrived and

are being unloaded. The last recorded tremor was four hours ago.

Hopefully it was the last. I have a message from the President of Chile

conveying his heartfelt thanks to the United nations and the Red Cross for their

swift and most excellent assistance. Rodrigo Infanta signing off

from Santiago. Thank you,

Rodrigo. Considerable attention has been focused on the Bering Sea. The Japanese

fishing fleet has reported a strange phenomenon. Large icebergs have

been breaking up, the flows of which are drifting southward towards

Japan and melting quickly. The Japan current, sometimes called

Kuroshido, divides here. The northern branch skirts Asia and

merges with the cold Oshia current. This normally cold ocean stream

is maintaining an abnormally warm temperature. The United nations

has dispatched its nuclear submarine Seahawk. With several of the world's

most prominent scientists into the area. More on that matter as it arises.

Japanese scientist Akira Makino, winner of last year's

Nobel Prize for medicine, claims to have made a rather amazing

discovery in the field of chemotherapy. These red berries,

discovered in his latest field trip in the Bougainville area. Produce a non habit

forming narcotic effect. Unfortunately, he reports the berries grow

in only one small remaining remote primitive island. And the natives there

are reluctant to give them up. It seems animals are fond of this fruit.

And the berries are ground into juice by the natives to placate

a quote, mysterious God who lives on the island. The God

is supposedly an enormous creature that no one has ever seen, but who

is rumored to be taller than many of their mountain. Dr. Makino would make

no comment on whether such a creature exists or not. But the Pacific Pharmaceutical

Company, Dr. Makino's employer, claims he does exist. They all claim

that the reason he is such a giant is because he eats Dr.

Makino's berries. There is one thing we can be certain of that

these berries will produce. And that is a giant advertising campaign.

I call the plant Soma. So far, our early

tests have shown remarkably good results. We are pleased

my notes confirm this. I will, however, need more berries to

continue with the test. But because of their garments, the natives absolutely refuse

to give up any more than just a few handfuls. How strange.

Would you show us exactly where the island is on the chart? Of course,

of course. Just before returning home, I touched at

Bougainville here in the Solomons. And about 62 miles south

from there was a small island called Faroe Island.

There, gentlemen, is where I found the red berries and the strange God.

Ooh, strange story, Mr. Makima. No.

I find it hard to believe that Buru sounds like a fairy tale.

Doctor, does a giant creature exist here? Since you ask my opinion,

my answer is yes. A giant monster.

He must be putting us on. We must really need publicity.

It's heads. So get a monster taco, not a monster.

Really? Yes, a monster. Come on, think. I want action now.

And no argument. A wonderful stunt. A rat. Of course.

Have you seen our latest TV ratings? They're terrible. Who out

there is watching our show? Nobody. Because it's dull and boring and

without imagination. That's why Pacific Pharmaceutical demands publicity.

You two are going to feral find me a genuine monster. If he exists

or not. Steaks are ready. Are you hungry? Hungry? I'm starving.

Wait. I have something to show you first. Look at this Sewing machine thread.

This is wire. Stronger than steel. Just watch this.

We're testing it. Money in Hokai. Hold it. Don't do that.

No, don't. Stop. Stop. I'm convinced. I'm convinced.

Don't do that. Come on. Stop. I believe you. Stop it.

You're not Tarzan. All right, you win. Come on. No more.

No more. You should take some with you on your expedition. There is nothing stronger

here. Hey, that's not fair. Look. How come your boyfriend's

steak is bigger than your brother's? Sakurai, stop it, will you?

Fujita, eat. Honey, I made the steak for you. Hey, what's so interesting?

Story about a submarine. Submarine. UN Submarine Seahawk is calling

in from the Arctic Sea. Hello, Seahawk. Go ahead, Commander Roberts. This is Commander

Roberts reporting from UN Submarine Seahawk. We are approaching area and will submerge

shortly. Hello, Seahawk. This is Eric Carter from UN Headquarters.

Switching you now to Yutaka Omura in Tokyo.

Hello, Seahawk. This is Tokyo. Our tracking stations in Japan are

following you closely. Thank you. Over a we are following the submarine Seahawk

by ICS. Her present location is latitude 58 degrees north,

longitude 178 degrees east.

Captain, water temperature 68 degrees. 68 degrees.

It can't be. There aren't any warm currents in the Arctic Ocean.

Check that temperature. Yes, sir. Captain, I see a strange light behind the iceberg,

dead ahead. That must be it. Let's go down and have a

look. Take it out. Emergency dive.

Doctor, what do you make of that? It looks like

the Chelankov light. Chalenkov light? What can

that be? Yes, that's it. It's a light

generated in nuclear reactors. And that light looks very much like

it. Captain, we're having a Geiger response. Stand by.

Depth at 85 meters. Still have

heading towards the iceberg. We're getting closer.

Up underwater. Periscope.

Emergency lights. All stations

report damage. What did we hit? It must be an iceberg.

Iceberg. Periscope out of order. Atomic fuel room damage,

Captain. Propeller shaft engines badly damaged.

Engine room reports repairs and population possible.

Oh, great. Captain,

do something before we are crushed to death.

Fire made a water signal,

Captain. The Geiger response is climbing. Captain, sonar is out of

order.

I am sure a rescue party will come looking for us.

There's nothing we can do but wait and pray that they see the

mayday signal. Water in the engine room.

Secure all the bulkheads. Captain,

water in the conning tower. Secure the hatch.

Engine room flooding rapidly. Captain,

do something. Abandon ship. All hands prepare to

abandon ship. The escape hatch is jammed,

Captain. We're trapped.

Look there, Al. In the water. A marker around

the iceberg. That's them. Let's go down.

What do you make of that, Al?

Godzilla.

The world is stunned to discover that prehistoric creatures exist

in the 20th century. Tracking stations show Godzilla heading in a south

easterly direction towards the offshore islands of Japan. He seems

to be traveling in a straight line and on a predetermined course. Though as

yet we have no explanation as to why. Dr. Kenji Shigazawa,

Minister of Defense, has been meeting with the army chiefs of staff. The armies

have been alerted as we wait for more news from Japan. Dr.

Shikasawa, statement please. Is Godzilla coming? Yes, he is.

He is approaching quickly. Can we stop him? We must

not panic. If there is one thing we cannot afford at this time,

it is hysteria. A national emergency may exist,

but the armed forces will defend Japan at all costs.

That's really all I can tell you now. Good day.

What if the army can't stop it? Of course, other plans

are now being considered. Any way we can

find to stop Godzilla must be considered. I see. Then you

have discussed using the atom bomb? Possibly as

a last resort. If we do not destroy Godzilla

soon, the monster will destroy us all.

Gentlemen, that's all I can tell you for now. Good day.

And with that, we get a shot of Godzilla heading inland and

fucking shit up melting melting tanks with his atomic breath. And then stomping them

as they try to flee before plowing through the biggest building of this

sort of air force base looking place. Would you say it would look like an

air force base? Yeah, I would say an air force base. I'm with you.

Yeah, the closest I could kind of think that it would probably be maybe like

an air force base of some sort. Anyway, Then he starts incinerating what

looks like troop barracks as well. Which means that there's a lot of people dead

already in this movie. Because I guarantee you, if this was a military

base of some sort, those buildings were not abandoned. Yeah,

no, that was extra crispy. They cut

from this to a news report that acts as expository dialogue

which explains everything about the story. So that.

That's our second clip. Boom. Yutaka Ohmura from Tokyo

reporting that the situation is grim. Evacuation plans are

being prepared. People should have small light baggage ready.

Please remain calm. The Japanese navy is filling the various harbors

with evacuation craft. And we now wait to see in which direction God's

Godzilla will strike next.

No more. I'm sick of Godzilla.

Send away immediately. Oh, yes, right away, sir. I want my

own monster. Find me a monster fast. And that's exactly 10 words,

sir. All you need is send it. Send it. Land ho.

Land ho. Come on. There it is.

Land off the starboard bow. Pharaoh Island.

This clip leads into a sequence of what is supposed to be the native peoples

of Pharaoh Island's ritualistic worship of their supposed

God and is in fact a bunch of Japanese people in what appears to be

varying levels of brown and black face. That's great. We are

talking about full body makeup and everything. It is really

uncomfortable to watch in today's like climate. Yeah. No,

it's not. It's not. It wasn't great. That's. It's not.

You know. I don't know, man. They sound the alarm about the would be colonizers

coming to their island. And the landing crew is immediately taken, Captain,

by the quote unquote natives. Really uncomfortable.

And that leads into our third clip. Jesus.

We bring gifts. I get presents for you.

Don't jump. Please don't push. Don't you. Wait a minute. It's not my.

He brought me here. He's the leader.

Chief. Is that the chief? That's the chief.

Kono, listen, we're here on a goodwill mission.

Got it? I'm not here to become their dinner.

Belong me to all you. To Pharaoh.

You go back. Wrong place. Belong you

Pharaoh? Well, he order you to leave this place

right now at once. He's right. Let's go. Bald head,

will you just take it easy and come? Calm down. Listen,

we want the Chief to know we came here as his friends. Tell him a

big boat is coming back for us tomorrow. And smile, will you? Nice smile.

Here, hold this. Kono, give me the radio.

Come on. Hurry. Hurry. Chief.

See what I've got? Magic. Try it out.

This radio. Two transistors.

I show you. With this here, all other

chiefs will shake in your power. Shake.

Tremble. Like me. See? See?

Switch it on like this. And. And you get them my magic

cigarettes. Inhale,

inhale. They satisfy.

Ah, too bad we forgot to bring candy.

Oh, you're mommy. You better

not smoke it around home.

All right. It's okay. They're all smoking.

He gives you permission to stay. But he will

not be responsible if the giant God comes down from the mountains and eats you

up. Fair enough. Sarai. Takai. Maybe we can still catch

the boat. Forget it, will you? Kono, give these to the chief. Tell him to

keep the pack. Hurry.

Big spirit. Big spirit. Pray.

Pray. What was that?

Hey. That noise is only the light.

That ferocious God of theirs is only lightning caused by the thunderclouds.

Oh, you can't be scared of that. Look at

them. Ignorant, primitive savages. Frightened to death

by a little lightning up in the sky. Then you're no better.

Hear that? That thunder ain't thunder.

Yes. Yes, it is thunder. That's ridiculous. Let us pray.

I. I don't believe in superstition.

You pray. Fumico. Fumiko.

Hi, Tammy. What's wrong? Fumico Fujita's plane crashed.

It's in the papers. Flight 311X to Hokkaido crashes Tragedy struck

Hokkaido Airport today. In addition to the crew,

118 passengers die on board. 27 survive.

Maybe. Maybe he could be one of the survivors. Why don't you go to Hokkaido?

Do not go to Hokkaido. I repeat. The Japanese government has

asked me to inform all people that they have good reason to believe

Godzilla will strike next at Hokkaido. Mr. Cook.

I see Eric Carter is ready with Dr. Arnold Johnson in New

York. Go ahead, New York. Thank you, Japan. This is Eric

Carter in New York. Dr. Arnold Johnson is curator of the New

York Museum for Natural History and an esteemed authority on prehistoric

animals. Dr. Johnson, you've agreed to explain to us some of

Godzilla's history. I said I would attempt to explain. After examining

photographs of Godzilla taken by the ics, I tend to

classify him as a prehistoric species of dinosaur.

Possibly a cross between the gigantic Tyrannosaurus rex and

the Stegosaurus, which is sometimes known as the plated dinosaur.

Roughly, this particular form of reptile existed

somewhere between 97 and 125 million years ago.

That seems an impossible, impossibly long period of time for anything to remain alive,

even frozen inside of an iceberg. Well, in Mexico,

they found a frog which they think lay dormant for 2 million years.

In Japan, flowers bloomed recently from lotus seeds

3,000 years old. The fact that Godzilla is here and alive

forces us to reconsider many theories on suspended animation.

Dr. Johnson, you stated Godzilla would definitely come to

Japan. What makes you believe this far? Fossils found in Japan resemble

Godzilla. Also, he headed instinctively for Japan, like a salmon

returning to the waters in which he was born. It's my opinion Godzilla thinks he's

heading home. Our modern weapons seem to have no effect on Godzilla.

Have you any suggestions as to how he can be stopped? Well, I know

the atom bomb is being considered, but that would be more destructive

than the creature itself. As a reptile, Godzilla might shy away from

electricity. But at this time, I wouldn't care to hazard a guess. Thank you,

Dr. Johnson. Dr. Johnson has consented to stand by at

UN headquarters and keep himself available for comment and

consultation. As you know, the UN newsroom and all its facilities will remain

open 24 hours to keep the world completely informed

on this crisis. Meanwhile, the expedition

dispatched by Tokyo Television Company and the Pacific Pharmaceutical

Company reports that they have heard the cries of the giant creature

on Faro Island. They are now moving into the interior to establish

contact with this strange island God. It is hoped he will be friendly.

Hey, wait for me. Where are you?

Aru. Aru.

Wait for me. Come on, keep up. I'm tired.

Can we rest? No, we'll keep going until dark.

Who says? I says. And if you don't like it, you can go back to

camp. Okay. My corns hurt.

Ah, you and your corn. But you see, my corns always hurt when

they're near a monster. Great. When you and the monster meet,

be sure you tell him all about your corn problems.

I heard something. Quiet. Aru. Aru.

Toto, bring up my camera.

It's only a lizard. Throw it. Throw it down.

Hurry. We get trapped. You see,

my coins never lie.

Guru. What is it? What hurts?

The corns. I don't want to hear about your corn

till we finish our job. After that, you and

your corns can go home. T. Mr.

Furu must need sleep. Get red berry juice.

Hurry. Good idea. And with

that, much like Matt as a youth, the young kid in the brown

face makeup is sent to get the red berry juice that has a non habit

forming narcotic effect to help someone sleep who is complaining about everything around him.

Yes. Wait, hold on. How is that like me? I figured

you had to get stuff to drug people when you were young

to keep them from complaining a lot. No, I just need drugs to sleep.

Okay, so you're the. You're not the kid in this scenario. You're the complaining

person that needs to sleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's me. Oh, okay.

I'm sorry. I was a little stoned when I wrote these. Not. I was just

a little confused. We can move on now. Oh, so you were high?

Yeah. I found this berry that is non habit forming and it has

a narcotic effect and it is awesome. Then why are you so twitchy?

It also is caffeinated. All right.

I think it's habit for me, but. All right, you go ahead.

That is also the third act of the film down, by the way. I just

wanted to get that shtick out of the way because I knew if I said

something weird about your youth, we would be able to get a shtick out of

it. And we did. Yeah, I mean, of course. It's the only way to go.

I like the idea that there's this really interesting berry

that, you know, only grows specifically on this Faroe island. And the natives are,

you know, loathe to give it up because they've got a God that's hooked

on it. Even though it's supposedly non habit forming.

But they got a God hooked on it. So what do you want? I would

submit to. That's got to be some good shit. I would submit to you that

even though it may not be addictive, it would be habit forming in

that it looks like that drug clearly is the shit.

Oh. I mean, because it works, right? Like not

very much of it either. And all of a sudden you got nothing really

to complain about and you just go right to sleep. It literally makes it

so the world sucks just a little bit less for however long that shit works,

right? Yeah. It may not be, quote unquote, addictive, but I guarantee you people

are going to form a habit for that shit. Oh yeah,

definitely. Yeah. I mean, I want some of that shit now.

I have had it and already have a habit for it. That shit

that they're talking about is what I thought primitap was like when I was a

kid. Yeah, there you go. Like magic berry

flavored juice that you drank and went immediately to sleep. Yeah, there you go.

Right to dreamland. You want to

move on to the next third of the film? Yeah, yeah, we're ready. All right,

we're done talking about how we got addicted to everything.

The middle third starts with the kid sent to get the drugs for

the whiny guy is followed by a woman looking for him,

which apparently is his mother. Mother. While a monster sized squid is on its

way to the narco hut where. They as one does, where they keep.

The poisonous berries that are non habit forming narcotic

effect. The mother gets to the kid and scorns him as

the druggie squid gets himself some of that sweet narco

berry juice by crushing the narco hut they are currently in.

The island peoples fight back and our main character action guy

on the island fires some shots as we see villagers getting

wrecked by the methadone addicted cephalopod as represented with the

stu stop motion tentacle kills. There is some rough looking

models and effects so far in this film for sure. But yeah,

what they went for for monsters and everything like that was they wanted more monsters

and more smashing action and they didn't have as much money to be able to

do it. So they cut some corners here and there. But when the

stuff is supposed to be important, it absolutely is. So the

stop motion squid attacking compositing stuff

didn't look that great up until. Well, just as I wrote those notes that

I just said, a composite shot of the villagers being wrecked by a tentacle in

stop motion animation with the live squid in the background actually

really impresses me enough to pause it and take a look at how they did

it and then make sure that I type up this sentence following those complaints.

Like I said, they spend the money where they were supposed to. And while the

first shot of multiple villagers getting grabbed by tentacles looked kind of bad,

that second shot with the actual moving squid in the background tracked

beautifully and looked really good. Gotta admit it. Yeah. All right, so the villager from

the stop motion gets tossed away and dragged away to safety while

our adventure man of action annoys the human humongous

squid shooting it with the hunting rifle. And I mean a noise. It doesn't

do fuck all. No. Yeah, it just like. Yeah, well you're

pissing me off now. The villagers start throwing rather large spears.

And then our hero, main man of action and the guide work

together to light and chuck torches at the squid which drives

it further onto the hut that is still being crushed

under its weight, which again the child and the mother are inside. So they

once again scream and are finally able to somehow run away and get

out of the hut. I guess it's cracked enough that they were able to get

out somewh. Yeah, they escape this junky ass squid while the

adventure men of action fire more rifles to try and run it down.

Just then a suit of Mation Kong shows up scaring

off all of the humans in the village. The squid transforms from force

perspective to stop motion large prop squid that

wraps itself around the Kong sudimation head and starts smothering

him. Kong will have none of this stop motion smothering nonsense.

So he throws that prop squid so hard at the ground

that it turns back into an actual squid in perspective

that is now being pummeled with foam rocks that match the exact size

and shape of the foam rocks that Kong is tossing at

that squid. I know I'm kind of poking fun at this stuff a little bit.

But there is a tremendous amount of work that I'm also mentioning here in the

compositing model building and force perspective work that ties all of

this sequence together and it cannot be fucked with. And how much

hard work they had to do in practical and optical effects just to achieve all

of that sequence. It's fucking awesome. Yeah, but you still fucked with

it now. Well, I'm just saying everything that you could tell how it was being

done. I wasn't really like talking bad about it. I was just

mentioning that that's what you. It's obvious that that's what it is. But it's still

a great sequence. I mean, you're fucking with it a little bit, but it's all

right. I mean, yeah, but lovingly all right. Well, now I get it.

Yeah. Like. Like I would my family. This is fucking King Kong versus Godzilla.

I'm not fucking with that. It's family.

Kong roars after what do you Vin. Diesel all of

a sudden Family? I'm not gonna say that. 389 times

in one film. I'm just not doing that. Okay, well, that's good. Kong roars after

pummeling the squid with rocks and that scares it off. He notices the berry

juice and gets to work on getting that monkey on his back and chasing that

dragon wherever it's gonna lead him. He downs and in these

kind of movies could be a literal dragon. He downs about two

huge jugs of drug before getting sleepy enough to

not be a threat to the villagers. They l him to sleep with music.

Kong is out cold and another ritual starts which

worships the Sl Kong. The main characters chat and that leads

to our fourth play.

Leave him here. Let's go. Don't be stupid.

Let's go home. We're going home, K. We're going home With

Kong. With Kong.

Yoshio Tako of Tokyo television reports that the giant

God of Faroe island, an enormous gorilla known as King Kong,

has been captured and is being brought to Tokyo. Mr. Taco claims ownership

for himself and the Pacific Pharmaceutical Company and is flying

out to greet his expedition. What about this Dr. Johnson? Legends of

giant gorillas have persisted for some time now. The fact that Kong

and Godzilla have appeared at the same time is interesting

scientifically. Godzilla has a brain about this size.

He is sheer brute force. While Kong is a thing thinking animal.

His brain is considerably larger. About 10 times the size of this gorilla's

skull. Being instinctive rivals, there is no doubt that they will attempt

to destroy one another. But our latest reports show that Godzilla has disappeared.

Keeping this in mind, do you still believe he will attack Japan? I do.

Being amphibious, Godzilla is probably lurking in the ocean depths

off Japan. Where the depths go to about 20,000 fathoms. He could

be puzzled at the changes that have taken place during his long sleep. But I

have no doubt that when he decides to return to land, he'll select Japan.

How does that sound in Tokyo? Not very good. The army is up to

full strength, and evacuation plans for all cities are underway.

What about the arrival of Kong? King Kong has the strength to tear Tokyo

apart with his bare hands. The government has no intention of giving him the

chance.

It's tackle.

Hi, Taco. I go buster.

Hey. Welcome aboard,

boys. You did a wonderful job. A wonderful job indeed.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Ah, there, Gen Kong. I think he's found

a hero.

Stop. Don't. That's dynamite.

Press that lever and pow. Goes. Calm.

How? Don't you understand? The raft's dynamite is wired

to that fuse. Oh,

boy.

Are you the captain? I'm the captain. You are to remain outside of

Japanese waters until further orders. Who is going to be responsible for King Kong?

I am. My company owns him. I have government orders. King Kong

is not to enter to Japan. Considered a menace. King Kong must be taken

back to Pharaoh island at once. These orders are final. My Kong.

Your orders are specific. My contract. The TV

commitments return Kong to Pharaoh. Kong, considered a menace

to Japan, must be returned. If these orders are not obeyed, I have

instructions to place responsible parties under arrest.

Mr. Taco. Boss. Boss for

Vegeta. Hi.

What's wrong? I thought you were dead. Dead?

Do I look dead to you? Your airplane. It crashed. I missed

it. The boss kept me working. But Vamiko went looking for you in Hokkaido.

Hokkaido? Oh, what a mess I make. Are you going out?

No, we've decided to leave the city. Why? Is there something wrong?

Godzilla. Really? Godzilla? We just heard the late news on the radio.

Godzilla was seen near Hokkaido. Mommy. Let's go see Godzilla.

Child, we're not going to a zoo. Hurry.

Fumigo's Train. Tsuguru, it's the express. No.

I hope she isn't bothering you. I don't mind it.

Godzilla has risen from the sea. There is no doubt that he is now moving

directly towards Hokkaido. The eyes of the world have turned to Japan in this

moment of crisis. The United nations is giving their full support

to defense preparations. Each nation has pledged armed

divisions and heavy weapons. The main question is whether

the men or the weapons can stop Godzilla.

General Masami Shinzo, in charge of Japan's defense,

has kept the emergency council in all night session.

I beg your pardon, General Shinso, but this is our latest report.

Godzilla's nearing Hokkaido. Excellency, we may need the

atom bomb. It is my sincerest hope that this will be

our last resort. Just where is he now,

sir? Godzilla's last position was reported by helicopter on the Hokkai

Mainland in this area.

43 to Control. Godzilla is approaching. He seems to

be attracted by the train lights.

And with that, Godzilla makes landfall, triggering the inevitable evacuation

sequences we were just hearing right there at the very end of the clip.

The buses and people are moving in such an order, orderly and organized

fashion that demonstrates just how Japan has had to adapt

to living around Kaiju already by this film. All right.

Godzilla makes his way. Oh, God. It's like. Damn it, I had dinner reservations.

Like a thunderstorm, like, oh, man, I was gonna go to the park today.

Godzilla makes his way up the train tracks and towards the abandoned

train leading to our fifth clip.

Attention, attention, attention. Godzilla is approaching.

Hurry, hurry. Get in the trucks. Get in.

Go.

Wait for me. Please. Wait.

Wait. Wait for me.

Watch out. Get out of my way.

Go back. Go back. Go back. My girlfriend's on that

train. How many left behind? 14 or 15 more

on the old highway. Okay, move. All right,

keep it going. Keep it going. Thanks.

Hey, come back. You'll be chill. Kill me.

Chill.

I made every effort to leave. Godzilla roars in all the clips

as I possibly could. Not a bad idea.

I may have shortened some of them when there was, like, a shit ton of

them, but I tried to leave at least, you know, as many as I could

in there. Yeah, of course. This begins a sequence of Godzilla stomping

that train flat. And our main love interest, character's girl,

who was left behind, is in danger of the big G

running towards her, and she's screaming and flopping through a river. I mean,

I don't blame her. Godzilla's within sight. I would fucking run and scream. Scream,

too. Yeah, right. Our main character arrives in his jeep

just in time to save his lady. Even though I have two

main characters here. There's the love interest main character and the action

man main character. They're friends and she's the sister of the action

man. But the love interest guy is the one who's now the main character on

screen currently. Yeah. In case everybody gets confused. Yeah.

Because we're not going to learn names, people. All right? That's just not

us. That's just too much goddamn work. I just remember their face whenever they're

on screen. And that's it. Exactly. And that's how I live my life, too.

It's not just movies. Yeah, no, yeah, it's me, too. Like, I fucking.

It was like six months before I even knew Court's name. All right,

so our main love interest character arrives in his jeep just in time to save

his lady, even though Godzilla does not come anywhere near them. But again,

Godzilla's within sight. I'm terrified. I got it. Yeah, I understand. Yeah.

They cut from this to a shot of Kong strapped to that raft in the

middle of the ocean as he wakes up, causing obvious concern for the crew of

the ship. They attempt to cut the cable and then blow up the dynamite

and then to shoot the dynamite whenever the trigger for the dynamite

fails. After tons of missed shots, they successfully blow

up the raft. But Kong is actually tall enough to just kind

of stand there. So it really doesn't do them much good at all.

Listen, Khan, at this point, Kong at this point's like, what are you

guys even doing? Are you trying. You taking this seriously? I'll just go

home. Well, right now he's like, oh, man, my head hurts. I just drank two

draft fulls of those non habit forming, narcotic effect

berry juices. And I just woke up on an exploding raft

in the middle of the fucking ocean that I'm just luckily tall enough to

tower out of and not fucking drown. By the way, I'm almost positive

these are habit forming. He's all like, I probably should cut back

on the berry juice at this point, I think.

Anyway, he's towering out of the ocean. And they cross. Fade from that to our

sixth clip. King Kong is free. He has reached the Japan mainland.

He has been sighted heading in a north northwesterly direction, which seems to

be in a path meant to intercept Godzilla, who is moving south southward toward Tokyo.

The best explanation for this comes from Dr. Arnold Johnson

of America. It appears that King Kong, sending the presence

of a hated enemy, is determined to destroy Godzilla.

Thus a battle of the giants, which may or may not have Taken place

millions of years ago, may be recreated soon on the Nasu

plain. Stop. Stop. This way, this way.

Just where do you think you're going, mister? I represent Tokyo Television and

Pacific Point Pharmaceutical. King Kong is under my sponsorship.

Get ready with that. Kong and Godzilla square off. With all the human action

characters watching and taking bets, Godzilla has the high ground

and should, by rights, just fry the fuck out of that ape and call it

a day. Yeah, right. Just. Let's go. But if he actually did that,

however, we would have no movie or a fight, really. It's obvious.

Yeah, we'd just be sitting here just pulling our pud, wondering why we're on

a podcast. We still do that anyway.

Yeah, that's also true, but, I mean, that's the only thing we'd be doing

during the standoff. Godzilla breaks the tension by burning a helicopter, and Kong

doesn't really like that, so he tosses a boulder, which unfortunately falls short

because once again, Godzilla has the high ground. Yeah, but I mean, it's kind of

weird. Like, Kong took that as an affront, like, no, that was my helicopter.

Listen, I'm the one that smashes helicopters full of humans around here. Yeah,

how dare you. Godzilla fries the forest ground directly

in front of Kong, but does not make the ape go

up aflame as he should. Again, atomic.

Burn the fucking ape and call it a day. Yeah, get out of here.

But. Nah, can't do that. No, it would make it too short. Listen, Kong has

to have some plot armor, all right? Exactly. Kong is

a little singed by the fire and puts out his fur as Godzilla

appears to celebrate this pain and taunt him a little bit directly,

contradicting the English dialogue, saying that he has a tiny brain and

only acts on instinct. He very clearly relished

the pain he caused Kong there. Yeah, it always seems like Godzilla

in every movie is thinking about shit. I mean, I don't know,

just. That's kind of awkward that. That translation where it was

like, nah. Yeah, of course. Yeah. The monster made by the

Japanese movie companies has a small brain, but our monster.

We'll talk about it a little more when we get up to the actual hour

mark of the film. But essentially, this entire movie is trying to explain

to you how Kong could possibly win against Godzilla, because otherwise it's

very implausible. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when you're dealing

with a large lizard creature that has nuclear

breath and you're just a giant ap.

Yeah, exactly. So Kong decides to pack up his toys and go home

after he got burned a little Bit because everyone is being a dick to him.

And that leads to our seventh. Kong has retreated.

Godzilla now reigns supreme and will in all probability

continue his march towards Tokyo, destroying everything in his path

as he goes. The army has made plans for the first line of defense.

These villages have been evacuated. The defense plans, in a simplified

form are to to dig out an enormous pit and line it with explosives

and poison gas. Riverbeds and canals on each side of

the pit will be filled with gasoline and set on fire. The fire

should drive Godzilla into the trap in the center where the explosives can

be detonated. We're nearly through with that section.

General Shinzo. Godzilla reported in close vicinity.

He'll be here by night.

Godzilla is sighted. Please work as

quickly as possible. Get that dynamite ready.

Open valves release gasoline. Valves open

Gasoline release.

Godzilla approaching. Light torches. Wait for your signal.

Damn, that was a big hit. The audience won't hear. I was about to say,

would you get some red cherries that are non habit forming or something? Yes,

I had non habit forming narcotic affected plant being ingested

there on during the clip. And yeah, I'm coughing for it. The end of that

clip takes us to the full hour long mark of the film. So we have

nothing but 30 minutes left after this. All right, well,

if you don't have anything to just interject real.

We kind of went over everything, actually. I was going to say

in this about how they had to give. How much plot armor King

Kong had to be given for this. I mean, it's a lot.

That was like the one thing I wanted to talk about and then we kind

of already did. Yeah, but we really can talk about it here specifically because

this is where it really starts to take effect. But literally the English language dialogue

that they start at the beginning where they're like, look, Godzilla is pure brute force.

So Kong's a thinking animal, so he can probably out think Godzilla.

And never before did they ever talk about Godzilla

having a smaller brain. I will accept the fact that Godzilla

being a lizard creature of some sort, would have a more primitive

like lizard guided brain. But I promise you, lizards are

fucking clever and vicious and vile. They just lack empathy.

The only difference between the ability of a highly

intelligent ape to think and a highly intelligent lizard to think

is that the highly intelligent ape also has empathy and

cares about other things, Whereas the lizard is literally just eating,

fucking and killing. That's all they give a shit about.

That's it. That's the. Yeah, they don't really give a shit about anything else other

than, you know, Getting their next meal right now.

Godzilla somehow develops empathy later on.

Who fucking knows how, but he does. Let's just call that a mutation.

But eventually, Godzilla does end up having empathy. The varying levels of empathy that

Godzilla has is a little bit different. But we saw a full fledged

intelligent lizard brain in effect here. He celebrated

injuring Kong with his atomic breath. And watching him run away

like a mean fucking cruel, twisted bully. Like, he did a

little mean girls. Yeah, he did a little fucking dance after burning Kong.

I never realized that until doing the notes now. Yeah, it's like. It's like a

mean girl who like, dumps a soda on another person's head and then laughs with

her friends. You Becky. Sorry, what?

What happened? Where are we again? Yeah, it's just fucking nuts

like that. But the way that they actually are filming the fight, it's very

realistic towards how these types of animals would behave. You know,

Kong is an advanced tool user, and that's absolutely correct. He does try

to do some advanced tool use. But in all reality, the first time that

Kong comes into contact with Godzilla without some type of

plot armor excus to negate the atomic breath,

he is just as susceptible to the atomic burns as

any other creature is. And usually Godzilla can burn

a hole through them. Why Godzilla doesn't use his atomic breath

more is because then it's just like Godzilla Final wars where he kills,

like everything in the entire universe. That's another Kaiju within the

course of an hour and a half. Right? Like, that's literally what will

happen is it's just mass death. Because when you have Godzilla,

you can't fuck with that shit and you have to make up plot armor.

The only creature that's really a threat to Godzilla is like a Ghidorah

who can take that atomic breath and either feed off of it or

just not give a fuck about it and it doesn't affect him.

Then that's the problem. No one cares about you.

Right? Like, that's as much as you may have an issue, whoever you are out

there with the American versions of Godzilla that the legendary pictures have

been doing, they get the atomic breath, right? When he fucking fires

that off, it's end game. It's done,

whatever it is. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, they get. And the

Japanese versions of the film with Godzilla and the atomic breath,

they are almost like making him not want to use

it too much just because it is so powerful.

It's interesting because now that's kind of how they view the United States, where they're

like, well, they have the power, but they haven't obviously used it yet in 1962.

And it's getting awfully close that they could really use it that they want to,

and they really could ruin some shit, but they haven't yet.

Is that why Godzilla's more reserved with his atomic breath in this? Or is it

just because it's plot armor? Because how else would another Kaiju even be a threat?

Exactly. Yeah. There's no. When you have atomic breath,

there's nothing that can ever defeat you. So you got to use something for some

plot armor. Like he had to recharge. Right.

Yeah, they do that sometimes too, where, like, maybe he would run out

of atomic breath or whatever. Yeah. And there's varying ways that

they deal with him having the atomic breath and what to do with it and

all of that. And there's even an overpowered atomic breath that we'll see

here. That is ridiculous and terrifying. Like.

Yeah, right. In later years. But anyway, I think we can move on to the

final 30. What do you think? All right, let's make a run for it.

All right. So the final 30 starts with a big G. Getting surrounded by fire

to herd him towards their giant tiger pit trap. They just

basically made a Kaiju sized tiger pit. That was their trap idea.

That was brilliant. That was it. And they're going to fill it with explosives that

have already been proven to not work on Godzilla and poison gas

and assume that it's going to work on Godzilla. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but hey,

listen, when you're the military, you got to make plans against Godzilla, all right?

It's not like they're getting ready to drop giant nets on him or something.

Jesus. He falls into the pit and they begin the barrage

of bombing and gas poisoning. And the world goes silent.

After the bulk of the explosions are finally done, they begin to see

what the results are. And that leads to our eighth.

He's alive. Godzilla has crossed the first line

of defense. He seems indestructible. On the advice of Dr.

Johnson, a blockade of high tension wires containing more than 1 million volts of

electricity is being hastily linked around Tokyo. It was

observed in his attack on the train at Hokkaido that he moved away from the

high tension wires whenever possible. Yet, Dr.

Johnson, you have stated that King Kong grows stronger from electricity.

Yes. For some reason we do not yet understand, Kong draws

strength from electric voltage. Then if the electric blockade stop Godzilla,

it would not stop Kong. No, it would not. Thank you, Dr. Johnson. I'm sorry

to interrupt, but we're switching now to the Northwest perimeter, where Premier Shigezawa

has gone to inspect the electrical blockade. All thoughts here are centered

on repulsing Godzilla and saving Tokyo and over 10 million people

from certain death. The blockade is ready. The only question

is, will it work?

Godzilla.

Connect tension.

Like I said, I'm leaving all the Godzilla roars in when I can. You have

to. Kong getting power from electricity is a work that they created for

this film. And so that he could, like we said, have any kind of a

chance of fighting Godzilla. And then also, having this particular version of

Godzilla in this movie, weak to electricity is also a complete work.

Before, he just didn't like getting shocked, so he would just avoid it. Now he's

weak to electricity because they have to have some kind of a work. You gotta

have some way of beating Kong. Yeah. Kong doesn't have a shoot on this.

He's gotta have to work. That's just how it is.

Yeah. At the end of the clip, the electrical ploy

maneuvers Godzilla. Just as Kong has decided to come back for

some more after being burnt like a kebab the first time. This triggers

more evacuation footage in our ninth clip. What?

Well, we'll be right over. King Kong approaching electrical

blockade. All civilians evacuate immediately.

Headshot. General Shinsa. There he is.

King Kong has entered Tokyo. You'd better leave tonight.

Ships in harbor are waiting to evacuate all civilians. King Kong

has entered Tokyo. All civilians evacuate immediately. I won't

leave you. Get going. Sir, what about

the atom bomb? I'm not ready to discuss it. But it's our only chance.

We hope it is not. What? Why not?

Because we're not anxious to destroy Tokyo, that's why. Doctor, what can

you tell us? Please, sir, tell us something. There is nothing more to say.

The atom bomb is ready and waiting. But first, we must

evacuate Tokyo and perhaps all Japan.

Fujita. Fujita. Kong, quote,

unquote, powers up on some power lines and smashes a building

before kidnapping a girl from a train. He smashes up to get her out

of it. He then stomps his way around the city, smashing the shit out

of it while lugging that poor screaming lady around with him. He approaches

a building and they formulate a plan on what to do with this druggie ape.

In our 10th clip, hit him with the lights.

General, the guns are ready, but they won't stop him.

King Kong will only become angrier.

Soldier, I'm in charge. You listen

to me. Attention, all gun batteries. Attention, all gun batteries. Stop.

Stop. Listen, you can't start shooting at Kong now.

He's home, holding My sister in his hand.

Hold your fire. Yes, sir. Hold fire.

I can see her. She's alive. But we can't

hold our fire for long. King Kong must not be allowed

to escape. Let her go.

Put her down, you ugly monster.

Let her go, Willadoo. I know what's up.

Chad, get my drums right away. Sure I can stop him,

sir. You can? Yes, I'm sure we can put him to sleep.

Soma. A perfect idea.

We can explode them from above. Hey, that's right.

You have the berry juice put inside the head of a rocket.

The exploding fumes will put him to sleep. Yeah. Obashi. Yes, sir. Get the

soma from my office. Yes, sir. You can't do that. Famiko's up

there. There. Don't worry. It's all going to work out. Taco. I hope we're right.

King Kong can't make a monkey out of us.

Easy with that stuff. Get those last questions. Easy.

Here. Get that sound tape ready. What if it doesn't work?

It's got to work. Keep your

fingers crossed. I'm gonna go.

Ready. Good.

Ready here. Ready. Fire one.

Fire two.

As you heard, they gas bomb Kong with more berry juice in concentrated

gas form. The music starts to lull him to sleep. And he slides down

the building and then falls down onto it. And then slides down

onto his back on the ground. As the men approach and free the young

woman, the love interest runs in and drags her back in our

11th clip. Hey, help up. My arms are

tired.

She's free. He's got her.

Go. Famico.

Famico, are you all right? Famico.

Famo. Sakura. How do you feel? Fujita.

I'm here, dear. There's the ambulance. Take her this way.

Easy now. Careful. Congratulations, fellas.

Good job. My gosh. Congratulations.

Congratulations, men. Sir, Godzilla's at Mount Fuji.

Gentlemen, our blockade cannot last forever.

We must act. The atomic bomb is out of the question.

Our only chance is somehow to bring them together.

Kong versus Godzilla. If we are lucky, both will

die. Bozaldi. But how can we move him,

General? An airlift with balloons.

Vegeta, your wire will hold Kong, won't it?

Sure. Let us try. All right.

Good. Let's go. This starts a sequence of them wiring up and roping up

Kong so that they can use huge balloons filled with helium to

lift him into the sky and drop him on Godzilla like an ape shaped

bomb. They prep it, and that leads to our 12th clip.

Whenever you're ready, Kong's ready.

Sir, Operation Kong is ready.

Proceed. Take him up.

Hey, look at that. Hey, the same

way. That wire of yours is great.

It's holding him. Great publicity,

huh? How soon do you figure we'll be there? By morning.

Good. Faster,

Faster. Look, Khan's waking up.

There's Godzilla. Look below.

Okay, drop him.

I can promise you that them airlifting Kong being

pulled along by helicopters with giant helium balloons

tied to him is definitely where Rampage got

the idea of carrying in your monster riding

on like a one of those, like dirigible balloons that used to be

on top of a football game in the day.

Agreed. All right. So with

that, they drop Kong onto Godzilla, and Kong slides down

the hill, knocking Godzilla further down the mountain. Both monsters

regain their footing and race back up the mountain. Kong hides to try

to get the drop on Godzilla and grabs the Big G's tail,

but is knocked on his ape ass nonetheless by the power of the tail.

Godzilla tries to climb to higher ground and Kong tries to drag him

back with his tail. That's weird and awkward, but that's. That's how they're fighting.

Yeah. They stop this. Seems like they one of those two just get a

room. They stop this weird ass grabassery as Kong nails

Godzilla with a boulder and Godzilla knocks one back, nailing Kong.

Using his tail with his back turned, Kong smashes Godzilla

with one more boulder. Godzilla then uses his atomic breath, making the

ape jump back. And they charge at each other and

do a good old fashioned wrestling and trying to throw each other to

the ground before Godzilla burns Kong with a blast. Once again,

they go for a tumble down the mountain, smacking and biting

all the way down. Godzilla has trouble standing up on the grade

that he's on, and Kong gets footing and starts chucking boulders

again, only to have Big G get his footing. And then Kong loses

his with a boulder toss. And then he bumble tumbles his

way at Godzilla until Big G sidesteps

that fumbling mess. To have Kong smash his dumb ape face onto

a boulder, which lays him out cold. He rolled a critical failure

on. On that last boulder toss. Yeah, that was a one at best.

For his boulder tossing. Check. Not acuity, but like dexterity

while he was tossing. Yeah, dexterity check. Yeah, he rolled.

That's a one at best. A one at best on his deck.

Dexterity check. Yeah, yeah. Godzilla walks over and smacks

the rocks onto Kong when he should just fry his stupid

ape ass right the fuck now with his atomic breath like,

what the fuck? Right? Plot armor. Sorry. Yeah, yeah.

Plot armor. Come on, man. He instead kicks rocks on him and smacks

him A bunch with his tail. Kong springs to life and they throw

down until a stop motion animation. Godzilla stands up

on his tail high enough to use both of his legs to horse

kick Kong the fuck down the side of the mountain

before burying him in more rocks. And he. He kicks on

his way to him and then smashing him with his tail a bunch more.

He then burns the fuck out of the trees right next to Kong. But not

the ape himself again, which is plot armor. And it's such a fucking

work. Anyway. More plot armor. That le to our

13th clip. Ooh, Godzilla is roasting King Kong.

Electrical storm up ahead of us, Sir. Lightning bolts.

Kong has a chance. Electricity makes him stronger. Now watch.

Electricity makes him stronger. Uh huh. I like how even that one character

was like, wait, that's new. I've never heard that before. Electricity makes Kong stronger.

And the other guy's like, shut up. That's what the writers told us. Just go

along with it. Shut up, idiot.

At the end of the clip, Kong now shows off his electricity power

quote unquote, where he gets struck by lightning. And now is one of

the three storms from Big Trouble in Little China.

The pair tussles again. Kong shoves a tree into Godzilla's mouth,

who launches it while on fire at Kong's chest

with his atomic breath. And then Kong judo flips Big G

before the pair end up in another shoving match, destroying the small

structures of a civilian dwelling underneath. There's some more of that model

smashing Kaiju fighting in this sequence. And then it has

it back to the suits where they're kind of cutting back and forth with stop

motion and then some model stop motion stuff. And then back

with the suits with the models around in the background that they're smashing.

And then we're back to the same historic landmark that I'm pretty sure got smashed

up with Anguirus and Godzilla. But I'm not 100% sure, but it

looks very similar to that. They sure do love to destroy them.

They sure do love destroying shit. And then this one is actually

destroyed by the two monsters swinging at each other with the building in

between them. The pair fall into the ocean in their fury

and cause a tsunami and an earthquake on land at the same

time, which collapses a small village. In a Superman

type earthquake sequence where the ground opens up and everything falls in.

This triggers an avalanche as well, and then floods a valley.

It's just mass destruction all around. Kong is then immediately seen

swimming away after that battle. And that leads to our final clip.

What's that? Earthquake. Earthquake.

Look Kong is swimming safely out to sea. No Godzilla.

That's wonderful. I hope we've seen the last of them for a long

time. Godzilla has disappeared without a trace. As for

King Kong, our international communications satellite is

following him. And strangely enough, we wish him

luck on his long, long journey home.

Kong roars and they flash the words. The end roll

credits. Cinema psyops.

All right, so I have no problem with Kong being able to

defeat Godzilla in some way, shape or form. We already kind of discussed

that. He needs some kind of a plot armor because how else is he going

to be able to do it? I mean, exactly. Logically speaking, once the

atomic breath comes out, it's over for any mammal.

I don't care about the size of them. Unless you somehow like,

explain how King Kong also operates on the same radiation

that Godzilla does he. But it burnt his fur.

If he had radiation, he wouldn't have fur, he'd be bald.

I'm just saying. Yeah, it's just weird that they were

able like. Yeah, I don't know, man. Atomic breath probably should

kill just about everything. Well, just a giant sized gorilla.

Just because it looks like to what we recognize as a gorilla doesn't mean that

King Kong is the same species as a gorilla and could

be operating on some type of, of radiation like Godzilla does where

he feeds on it too. Like they, they could do that and they could explain

that and they could be like, well, obviously the native peoples and the first people

to encounter King Kong didn't know that. And then in this case, it's not even

the same King Kong from the 30s because they go to a whole new island

called Faroe island and go. And get this King Kong and they get

a new King Kong. But they're still going to call it King Kong. Right?

Right, but it's still supposed to be King Kong. But the way that they established

they don't. They didn't even establish until like he starts coming into

contact with Godzilla that the ape has any kind of elect electricity powers,

like the thunderstorm and the lightning. They should have shown Kong like powering up

there on the island and then would just. They would have just been like,

wait a minute, this gorilla can just get shocked by electricity

and it powers him? You know, like the islanders could explain. Yes, that's he's

a thunder God too, or whatever. That's what's happening, right? Like,

yeah, well, if you're going to sell me on a work, you got to put

that work in at the start of your story, right? Yeah, like, yeah, you can't

just all of a sudden develop these fucking powers, you know?

Like, it just doesn't. It just doesn't work. The way that

they tried to make Shoehorn it in there. We're like, wow, we know. Blah,

blah, blah. And it's like, wait, no. And I don't even know if that was

originally going to be in the storyline that. That King Kong could have electrical powers

or if that was just this version of it. That is probably the only version

we have left. Because why else would Criterion include just this version

of it? Exactly. Right. I don't know. Yeah, the film's a.

It's a little daunting. It's a little confusing. And, like, I'm not. I'm not angry.

I'm not like, you know, getting all up in arms about it. It's just that,

logically speaking, somebody like King Kong basically has no chance.

That's why we see Godzilla defeat every other fucking creature he into

contact with. Whenever he's the good guy with his atomic breath or

he loses his atomic breath and he has to find another way. Yeah.

Because that shit is deadly to, like,

95% of the Kaiju out there, let alone

everything else that exists on Earth. Yeah. Anything living. You know,

typically nuclear. Anything is hurtful to anything living.

Right, Right. It's going to fuck up. Except for apparently Kong or not

Kong. Except for apparently Godzilla, who thrives on that

shit. Yeah. He apparently is nuclear reactor

in a lizard shape. Yeah. Yeah. All right, well, let's get to my

story of Snowmageddon. Unless you have some more complaining to do about how this was

a work that King Kong could beat Godzilla. Because I'm glad we're in accordance.

I got no arguing to do. I'm done. Yeah, no, I've got no arguments.

Let's go. All right, so up next on the pirate radio edit, also from 1962,

Sam Cooke and Twisting the Night away. Because, fuck, yes, Sam Cooke's coming

back on the show. Yeah. On the pirate radio. Hey,

it's Bo here. You may remember me from such websites as

LegionPodcasts.com which is the one I happen to

host, and it's the one that hosts your show

as well, the Cinema Psyops. And I gotta say,

I. I recently left you guys a message,

hopefully taken in the spirit of constructive criticism about,

you know, the potty mouth, the trash talk that happens on. On the

cinema of Psyops. And I feel like that was not taken

in the spirit in which it was intended. Instead,

your show has lashed out at Hail Mean, the cash

Cow of Legion podcast. The. The big hitter, the gold boy.

And all I'm saying is knock it off, will you? Because that's

what's paying the bills around here, all right? It ain't my stuff.

It ain't. It ain't the cinema psyops. Although in fairness,

you guys are doing pretty well. But that's not the point. Point. The point

is that he can't go after the. The Almost

the flagship show of this whole network because.

Mostly because of a message I left, for God's sakes. So look, all I'm

saying, like, just. Just rather than lash out all

willy nilly at other shows on the network whether I mention them or not.

All right, this is gonna sound a little weird at first, and I know it's

a little bit like a hick of me to say it this way, but just

go with me, okay? Right. Sam Cooke's voice. Sam, sounds to

me like how it feels to watch butter get spread across the top of

a cornbread muffin like that. Like that feeling of just like knowing that you're

about to have a bite of that cornbread muffin. That feeling when the butter melts

on top of it, like, that's that. That level of like just smooth and buttery

and just immediate joy. Right? That's what Sam Cook's voice

brings out in me. All right, man. I mean, dude, it's a great voice

that is oddly specific. You've been really thinking about this.

Well, I've been in keto so long, I crave cornbread now like a motherfucker.

But that's. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah, that has nothing to do with my story time.

Story time.

Story time. So, as Matt had mentioned,

we had an Icemageddon. Or literally the

plot of the ice harvest was recreated in our town on

Friday night, where we had an inch and a half to two inches of

ice on everything and the temperature remaining

well below freezing the entirety of the night, effectively turning every

surface in Omaha that wasn't textured in some way into a

fucking ice rink. That sound about. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Everyone had

fun. I had so much fucking fun.

So Beverly and I have a

dinner party arrangement that we're going to be going to. It's actually a

specific casino night. It was a work party function that was

for a very big place that we were going

to go to. We had to go down to Chi Health center, essentially downtown.

The big stadium downtown. Well, anyway, we both

have been getting ready and not paying attention to anything other than

us trying to get ready for this function. I even got

off work early to be able to go do it. So, you know, I'm shaving

my head and like shaping my beard and you know, hot brushing

it and all of that. I got on a suit. That's how nice this

function is supposed to be. And I, I'm wearing a dress shirt, no tie.

And my dress shirt has embroidered cobwebs or

spiderwebs on the collars coming off from the corners and then up and feeding out.

Like I'm going for like a sort of goth chic hillbilly look because I have

the beard and the beard covers up the shirt anyway, so you don't really see

the collar. You kind of do in some of the photos. Anyway,

so I'm all dressed up. My wife is basically almost cosplaying

Mrs. White from Clue because she's wearing a black dress and she had

on this like really nice like shaw sweater over top and then she flat ironed

her hair and I swear she looked like Madeline Connor from that show. Nice.

Yeah, I was really into that, by the way. I'm sure.

Which is why I put on the suit. I was like, I got to compete

with that, man. You got to get just look like some slub.

Right. I'm feeling amazing, right. Because this is a suit that

I wore to a buddy's wedding just a couple of years ago. It's a new

suit that I just got that couple of years ago. The pants are super loose

now. They're like two sizes too big. No, damn. Four sizes

too big now. I'm sorry, I just did the math in my head and the

suit coat is actually just starting to get a little bit loose. It looks like

I bought it off the rack without trying it on. Loose, like. But no,

but not like David Byrne loose. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like it's.

No, I gotcha. It like it fits, but it looks like I just tried it

on and went, yeah, this will do. You know what I mean? Like that kind

of fit. Not like fitted fitted like it was when I bought it for the

wedding. Anyway, long story short, too late, too late. We're ready to

go. We have a lift ordered because my wife is going to be drinking and

I was actually planning on maybe having a couple at this party. So we're going

to lift down and lift back because we know the weather wasn't going to be

that great. And then we're like, well, our Lyft driver was supposed

to be here like four minutes ago. So she goes to look on

the map. And our left driver is about two or three streets over on a

hill area, and her car is doing all sorts of weird things

on the map. And we're like, what's going on? Something's not

right. You know what I mean? Like, we're thinking that the map's malfunctioning, or maybe

she got stuck somewhere, or, you know, what happened. And then we're thinking,

yes, she probably got stuck. And so then I look outside and I

see how bad the ice is everywhere. And I'm like, okay,

well, if she can get here, do you still want her to take us downtown?

Because that's really bad. The ice is really, really bad. And Bev's like, I don't

know. What. How do we get back? I'm like, maybe it'll get better. And we

get later at night if we get down there. And she's like, I don't know,

you know? So I go and I salt the walkway out to where

the caller is going to be, and I salt around where the car is going

to be, so. Because Bev's very clumsy and I don't want her to get hurt.

And about that time, we get back, and the lady basically texts

Bev and asks her to cancel the ride. Yeah, and then the lady tried to

call Bev to ask her to cancel the ride, right? And so we

get the lady on the phone, and she's sliding around and stuck and

trapped just a couple of streets over, and she can't get out. And if she

moves and tries to, like, move her car anymore, she's just going to slide into

a parked car on the street, and she doesn't want to do that. So she's

just basically stuck and she doesn't know what to do. Right? And she's just sucks.

She's so apologetic to us, and we're like, lady, you. You got to get yourself.

I was like, don't waste your call on us. We will absolutely cancel

the ride. That is fine. Just do what you gotta do to get safe,

you know? Like, just be sure that you're safe and that you're taken care

of. And so, like, we hear her talk about how another guy is, like,

coming down the street way too fast. She's like, he's so fucked. He's so fucked.

And she's like, he's gonna hit me. And then we're just like, oh, God,

we're gonna hear an accident on the phone, right? You know, and be able to

get used to it. But no, thankfully, the guy slides Way past her,

and then goes and hits something else or something along those lines.

And then we cancel the ride, and we let the lady off the phone,

and we're like, you need this line open so you can call for help if

need be. You should not be talking to us anymore. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Right. So, like, we let her go. We canceled the ride. And then I

text some people that we were going to be going there, and we're like,

sorry, we're not going to make it to this function. I am so sorry.

You know? Oh, man. And, like, several hours later,

I get a text back from the person, and they're like, no, it's no problem.

They text me a photo of, like, this table with all of these cups,

and there's a few of them missing here and there. But it was a huge

table that was very clearly filled with cups with names on them and,

like, stuff like that, where it's like, you know, this is how you get your

drinks. Here's your tickets for, you know, the games and stuff that you're allowed

to be playing or that are there for you to play, all that kind of

stuff. And it's literally, like, 10 are taken from where there was, like,

500 people expected or something like that. You know what I'm saying? Like,

it's just like, it's filled still. He's like, barely anybody

was able to make it because of Icemageddon. Icemageddon really

fucked a lot of people's Fridays, I'll tell you that right now.

Yeah. And, well, we're. We're done, and we decided

to take some photos, so obviously we're not going to go out. And we decided

to stay in and stay safe, which is the best outcome for Beverly and myself,

obviously. Best outcome for everyone was to stay inside and stay safe.

Right. So we decided to take some photos while we're in the outfits before we

take them off, which we do. We take a. We have a nice little photo

shoot and in front of our Christmas tree and stuff, and then we take the

outfits off. And then it was Friday the 13th, so we watched Friday the 13th,

and then Joe Bob was on. So we watched Joe Bob and just kind of

hung out and had a good time that way. Yeah. But through the course

of the night, I heard pileups. I saw pileups. I saw people sliding

and a slipping and not getting stuck. I saw someone almost make

things really bad for everybody and slide almost all the way off

the curb into a fire hydrant that was on somebody's property.

Jesus. Right, like, at the base of the hill, like, right before it

goes up the hill towards my house, and then further up the hill, the other

direction. That, like, little hump in the street there. That's, like a cross

section by my house. It's just. It's enough of a dip to

where a pool of water would have made an even worse ice skating rink right

there if that thing went off. And it would have coated all of the power

lines and all of that stuff and just started freezing, and it would have just

been a nightmare if this person did that. Yeah. Not good. I watched

them go further up a hill in another direction, trying a smaller hill, thinking they

could get out of the way. And then when they tried to turn right,

they spun out and got stuck at the top of the hill, and they abandoned

their car there, justifiably so. With their blinkers on.

And then someone came down the hill near them and broadsided and T

boned that empty car, slid it down the hill and,

like, off to the side. And then it curb checked and stopped and spun back

around and hit the other car. That person pulled over,

made sure no one was in the car, and then took the fuck off.

And just right after that. Yep. Oh,

yeah. Oh, my God. So many cars were abandoned. Yeah. It's. It's insane.

Like, it's just absolutely insane.

Yeah. What ended up happening? And that was just the

stuff that I saw while looking out the windows of my house, like. And that's.

Yeah. My Lord. Yeah. And that was. That was the Icemageddon.

And next week, we're going to have your story time for that. But for now,

let's go ahead and do the show Housekeeping. And we will have Booker t.

And the MG's with the song Green Onions from

1962 immediately following this. If you've

decided you can't get enough. Taught you how to live your lives. I'm not telling

you how to run your shows. What I'm trying to do is tell you there's

a way to. To get more listeners. You know, I'm not even saying you.

You have to go totally clean. Just clean it up some, you know, you don't

have to do a Disney movie. All right? So we're going to. Peace Bow,

man. You know what? I was thinking about this, and it might be for the

best, Bo's okay. As long as we're making an effort. Yeah. Oh, my God.

That's gonna be awesome. Yeah. Dude. You don't have to do a Disney movie

or something just to make Things, right? It's a Disney show. It'll be great.

It'll be nostalgia. It's gonna be family friendly. You don't have to do a Disney

movie. You just, you know, soap up the mouth a little bit. We'll have a

couple slip ups. But Rome wasn't built in the day. This is definitely a step

in the right direction to appease BO Maybe don't drop so many curse words.

We're going to try and do something where we're a little bit more cleaned up.

I mean, we're still going to slip. There's nothing we can do about that.

I don't want to point fingers here. I don't. I don't want you to think

that I don't enjoy your work. I do. I love my cinema psyops.

But you got to, you know, just ease off the throttle,

man. Take it. Take it from fifth to fourth. See how that treats you.

And I, I think you'll be, is pleasantly surprised by the results.

Again, I hope you take this in the spirit in which it was intended,

which is not as a mandate of any kind, but as a suggestion that

I strongly urge you to follow rather

than incur more conflict and, and messages like this.

Maybe a formal apology would be nice. Mistakes happen, you know.

Cinema puppy. Who doesn't love a puppy? That's all I'm saying.

So, guys, again, how about we, we. Take another

stab at this? We wipe the slate clean. No harm, no foul,

and we take another approach. Just try it. Try something

different. Try something unusual. Just for once,

see what it's like. All I'm asking. All right, guys, I look

forward to, to hearing what comes next. Yeah, but if we keep doing this

kind of stuff, we're gonna have to change the name of the show because it's

not about psychology anymore. It's about racism. Wait,

racism? Yeah. You never seen Song of the South? I'm not aware

of such a movie. Friar Rabbit. Oh, yes. Flash Mountain. That was a fun ride.

Oh, you have no idea what you just got yourself into. What just happened?

We are totally covering Song of the South. Is this gonna be a different

kind of ride? Oh, yeah. You better not ruin my childhood.

That's all right, dude. Disney had it coming.

One of the greatest improvised jams in all of rock

history is that song Green Onions. For sure.

Sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's good stuff.

I am probably gonna let that jam play out way longer than

I probably should. And not just to pad out the episode, but because it rules.

And the people that need to hear it are gonna be listening to the pirate

radio in it for sure. Yeah, right.

All right, well, while you're trying to parse out what the I meant by all

of that weird word salad I just spit out, go ahead and

try not to ignore the fact that I've been doing that for the entirety of

my career as a podcaster and kick the out of this weekend. Make it

your while you enjoy Ray Charles with I

can't stop loving you on the pirate radio edit from 1963.

Hey. Hey, man, what are you doing? Oh, hacking.

Why? Because we need better numbers to win this

fight, and I found a very easy way to be able to do it.

Oh. I'm redirecting all of the hits from Hailman to

our site for the Legion Podcast network. But why?

Well, because every episode that they get downloaded, we now get credit

for. Oh, I'm following. You have no idea

what I'm talking about. To you. No, no, no, no, I get it,

but maybe you should explain it again in case one of the bots didn't quite

understand what you're doing. Okay. Basically, every time someone

listens to Hail Mang, it goes to our site. We get the credit.

Right? Okay. Don't I have to understand this? No.

Okay, it's done already. And the time it took me to explain, I did it.

Well, now we have no problems. And hopefully this will trick Bo enough into

thinking that we're getting better download numbers than Hail Ming now, and we

can continue being filthy. And maybe the whole network can. There are far more garbage

people in this world. You should buy it.

But we're recording. At least now. Recording in progress.

Yay. There we go. Did you hear? You did. You heard the yeah, because you

were just responding. Yeah, I was doing the yeah. All right. Might as well just

do mine first, because it's a first in order, and we're not very good at

recording out of continuity. We proved that time and time again, all the time.

And by we, I mean you. How dare you be so accurate.

Yeah, I keep forgetting when I did mine, but you always go,

fuck. Yeah, I really did use last week and next week. I was always wrong

on those. Yeah, I didn't really realize that until just now. What? That I was

always wrong the next week, last week, whenever I would say that.

No, we recorded in order because you messed that up. If we.

If we don't, we. You would mess it up. The continuity of that. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. I just realized. Yeah, we did

that as a shtick for, like, the longest time. Just because I thought, like,

you weren't doing it on like. I thought you were doing it on purpose for

a while, but it turns out. No, no, I. I was definitely doing that on

accident. All right, well, it. It's all

right, but they can't take a joke. It's all right.

With the magic of my editing, I make it seem like you know what you're

talking about. You David Copperfield over

here? No, I'm just a damn good editor when it comes to my podcast,

that's all. And lots of practice. Yeah, 89 weeks of it. So let's

get going. Here we go. Let's do it. All right.

King Kong versus Godzilla, episode 489.

Three, two, one. Just a minute. I'm organizing clips.

Bye. Come on. Three,

two, one. At the

end of the. Because we're not anxious to destroy Tokyo,

that's why. Doctor, what can you tell us, please. Sir, tell us That's.

We're always ready to destroy. Something is ready

and waiting. He's holding my sister in his hand as Kong

does.

Hello. Hey there, Court Bo

again. It has come to my attention

that there are fluctuations in

the numbers between the two shows. And upon investigation,

I realized you are actually stealing their

numbers. Yeah, it's. It's unethical. And mostly,

I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, but. Knock it off.

Then again, I mean, you found a way to actually

steal a show's numbers, and that's no small feat,

right? What are you saying? Look, I'm not

saying you should steal.

Numbers from other network shows, right? You know,

you hand back the numbers you took from Hail Me,

okay? And if we see numbers on the shows on the rest of the network

rise, then, you know, so be it. That's. That's not a bad

thing. Gotcha. All right, well,

while you're trying to parse up out what the I meant by all of that

weird word salad I just spit out. Go ahead.

And try not to ignore the fact that I've been doing that for the entirety

of my career as a podcaster and kick the out of this weekend.

Make it your while you enjoy Ray Charles with I

can't Stop Loving you on the pirate radio edit from 1962.

All right, we need to get the break in, so let's go ahead and stop

the recording now. Yes. Recording stopped.

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