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We cover topics on physical and mental healing, health, happiness, growing wealth and living wise in a world that often sabotages you.
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Welcome back to Healthy, Happy, Wise, Wealthy. I have with me today on this Thanksgiving
episode, my Andre. So I'm already traveling for
Thanksgiving. And Andre, what's one of your favorite
memories of Thanksgiving? So we were here, and basically
I. We had some M and M cake, and I threw it at my
Uncle Jason's face. That's my favorite memory.
If I would have seen that, I think that would also be my favorite Thanksgiving
memory, because I don't know that I remember seeing that, but I remember that.
I think it was three years ago here at my brother's house. And
there's a lot of. Lot, A lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot,
a lot, a lot of people. Yeah. Yeah. When we come here so. And get
together today, on today's episode,
we are actually going to have Jolyn Armstrong, and she is an episode
four and five, and she's going to give us a little talk
about sometimes the holidays aren't always the most
fun because we have memories that maybe make us sad. And there's all
kind of stuff does come up during holidays. So we want you to have a
time where you can enjoy the beautiful things in life, but
also just recognize that there is some things that are. That are hard.
And we're going to be grateful. Yeah. Very, very, very
grateful. Very grateful. I'm grateful for you. What are you grateful for? You
better say me. I'm just kidding. My life.
My life and my family. Your life and your family?
Yeah. I love that. I am also grateful for this.
Have family spread all over the country. So the chance to get together
and see people is a beautiful thing that I very much
enjoy. Yeah. So we hope you guys have
a wonderful, fun, happy,
happy Thanksgiving. Safe travel.
Plenty of turkey. Yep. Not too much turkey, though. Not too much. Not.
Not too much turkey. That's right. And enjoy all the.
All the good times that are to be had this Thanksgiving.
Bye.
Hi, everyone. I'm Jolyn, and I'm grateful to spend
a few minutes with you today. I want to extend my appreciation
to Mary also for extending the invitation. I appreciate
you, Mary. And since this is a Thanksgiving
message, I want to begin by acknowledging something important.
The holidays are big, Right. They come with a lot of energy
and a lot of expectations and a lot of
emotions and sometimes all at once. Right.
I think about the holiday season that we're told
should happen. Right. Every year around this time,
the world starts painting pictures for us.
Photos of families in matching pajamas and commercials
where everyone is laughing, cooking together
somehow. No. Is arguing about politics or doing the
Dishes. Right. Perfectly decorated homes,
perfectly warm relationships, perfectly prepared
food coming out of the oven at the exact right
moment. Right. We get movies and ads
and Instagram posts and greeting cards all
suggesting that the right holiday season looks like
joy and togetherness and abundance and energy and
cheer and emotional harmony. And it's a beautiful
picture, but it's not real
for most people. Right. And even when it is, when
it is beautiful, it's rarely
effortless. It's rarely how it appears. Right.
For many people, holiday season brings a mix of
emotions because life doesn't pause for November
and December. Right. We're often still carrying
fatigue and stress and health challenges and financial pressures
and relationship tension, complicated family
dynamics and loneliness. Right. Or simply
exhaustion from an entire year behind us.
Some of us are caring for aging parents, too. Yeah.
Some of us are juggling work deadlines, some are
trying to coordinate travel, house cleaning, meals,
children, events, school breaks, all of
those things. Some of us are dealing with blended
families or estranged relationships. Some are
navigating loss, change, or just feeling off
this year. So any. Any of that sound familiar to you? Does it fit?
All of this happens in the same season where we're
told to be merry, you know, make everything
special and show up with a smile.
Yeah. It's a lot of pressure, a lot of pressure on the
human heart. And if we're honest, it can create a
kind of inner tension. Right. But
truly, what if the holidays don't feel the way
they're supposed to feel? What if our energy doesn't match
the season? What if traditions don't
fit anymore? What if we're growing or changing in ways that
make old patterns really feel uncomfortable?
These are normal questions, and they deserve
real answers. Right. The truth is, most people go
into the holidays carrying something invisible.
And because we've all been conditioned to perform in
a certain version of the season, many of us never talk about it.
Right. We just carry it behind the scenes while
trying to keep up with traditions, expectations,
cultural pressure. Yeah.
I lost my father a couple of years ago after a
battle with dementia. But I'll always remember a
conversation that I had with him that was happened when
I was a very young adult. I was, I don't know, maybe 20, something like
that. And growing up in Colorado,
I had had enough of cold, enough of winter.
And one December, I told my dad, you know, the.
The only good thing about winter is
Christmas. And then forget it. I hate the rest of it. And my dad's
reply, it was so. It hits different now than it did
then. Then it was. I Kind of laughed at it, but
now it makes sense. His response was,
you know, don't worry. With time, you'll hate Christmas too.
He said that as a father of six and the
grandfather of probably a lot more, I think 10,
maybe grandchildren, right? And the pressure on him was enormous.
And what I took as a joke back then, I see now, with a little
bit of maturity of my own behind me,
that he was feeling it. He was feeling that pressure.
So if you're feeling any of this, you know, overwhelmed,
tired, pressured, conflicted, sad,
hopeful, grateful or lonely or simply different than
you used to, you're not alone. You're not doing it
wrong. You're simply human. In a season that
asks a lot of us. So here's the good news.
You have more agency in this season than you might realize, right?
You get to shape the holidays around your current life,
your current energy and capacity without
dishonoring anyone and without abandoning what's actually
meaningful to you. So let's look at
what that can actually mean, what that might actually look like,
okay? My hope for you is that this can be the
year that the holidays get to be what you need them to
be, regardless of societal expectations, right?
What this means is it means letting your holidays evolve with
your life. That's all. Many of our traditions were created
long before we ever had a say in them,
right? Maybe long before our parents ever had to say in them either, if
we think about that, right? Some traditions still feel nourishing
and some feel heavy, right? And some feel
irrelevant now. Some simply need small
adjustments to fit the life that we're living today. So
you're allowed to adapt. You're allowed to say, this year I
need something a little different. You're allowed to modify the rhythm
without apologizing for being human, right?
This season, where many of us try to push ourselves into roles and
emotions, and we're actually not feeling.
What if the approach to the holidays. What if we approach the holidays with
a little more gentleness and less performance,
right? So let's make some room for what you're
carrying, whether, you know, whatever it is that you're
navigating this year. Let's. Let's make some room for
that. If you're. If you're experiencing a recent
loss in your life, a major life change, complicated
relationships, all those things you have, you. You don't have
to power through in silence anymore.
Nothing you're feeling disqualifies you from having a meaningful
holiday, right? Just means you might need a little
different kind of holiday this year, right? Maybe It's a year
of quiet connection instead of huge gatherings. Maybe
it's a year of curiosity and trying one
new tradition. Maybe it's a year of leaning into
community if you need more
connection around you. Right? With the people that actually support you and
love you. Maybe it's a year of stepping back and
breathing a little bit more. Maybe this is a year of making
space for mixed emotions. There's no wrong way to be
human during the holidays, right?
So let's talk about honoring traditions without losing
yourself. How do we do that? Right? You can show up
for the people that you care about while honoring your own limits.
The helpful. A helpful mindset is I can still
participate just in a way that respects my energy.
Right? So this might look like
attending gatherings, but leaving early,
bringing a friend or a supportive person instead of showing up on your own.
Taking breaks during gatherings as as long as
those breaks need to be, right? Stepping outside for a
moment or engaging in the parts that feel nourishing
while quietly skipping the parts that don't. Right?
I'll come for dinner. I'm not doing the white elephant
after something like that. Or maybe I'm skipping dinner and just coming for
the gift exchange something, Right?
It may be time for you to opt for simple instead of elaborate.
Or honesty instead of pretending.
Yeah. This isn't disrespect again. This is
thoughtful boundary setting. It's honoring both your loved ones
and yourself. Right?
Connection doesn't have to look like a full table or an
all day celebration. Sometimes holiday
connection is just a slow walk with someone that you
trust. A good conversation, even if that
conversation is on the phone or on a video call, something like that.
A text exchange that makes you smile, Right?
Maybe it's volunteering or helping someone else
to the extent that you feel comfortable doing that. Being
with people without performing is the thing, Right?
It's creating one meaningful moment instead of a dozen
big but pressure filled moments.
Small, genuine moments count here.
Yeah. So let's talk about holiday spirit
while we're in this subject. Holiday spirit isn't about matching
the energy of the commercials or the movies.
It's about something much simpler. Right? Let's. Let's
really adopt a simpler version of holiday spirit
here, right? It's about being present.
It's about being gentle with yourself.
Being open to moments of meaning. Right? Being honest
about where you are this year, what happened this year, what you've
been going through. You get to decide what presence looks
like, you get to decide what connection looks like.
And you get to decide what celebration Looks like this year
and every year going forward, you get to shape
the season in a way that reflects your actual life,
not some idealized version of it or someone
else's version of what a life should look like in this season.
As we enter this holiday season, here's my wish for
you. May you feel free to let
this season be what you need it to be. May you
feel grounded, steady, and supported.
May you honor what has changed without forcing what no
longer fits. May you discover new
meaning in small, unexpected moments.
May you nourish your connections in ways that feel honest and possible.
And may this be a season that means
exactly what you need it to mean and meets you
exactly where you are. This is me wishing
you a warm, gentle, and deeply
human holiday season. What
are you grateful for that you enjoy in life? Sports. I like to play
sports. That's a good thing to be grateful for. And traveling
well, to travel. What is your favorite place you've traveled to?
Moldova. Moldova. Yeah. So his.
His Mama is from Moldova. We adopted a bunch
of kids 17 years ago.
18. 18 years. Thank you. 18 years ago.
You weren't around then. Yeah. No, you weren't. So
that was seven years before I was. Wow. Only
seven years before I was born. Yeah. And Your Mama was 14 when
she got here, so. Yeah. So are you gonna teach me how to play
sixes? We're gonna let your mom teach
me. Yeah, she won't get on
the camera. Yeah, she's over there talking in
Romanian. Yeah, she won't get on the camera for some reason. Okay, what
questions you guys have? So this is Mariana
and Andre. Yep. Oh, my gosh. I know that guy. You do
not. I don't know that guy. Oh, I know her too.
I said I don't know you. Oh, I don't know her.
Hey, everybody. We are at Thanksgiving, so. And enjoying our
Thanksgiving break. It's just starting here at my brother's house.
And, Mariana, what is something
you're grateful for this Thanksgiving for? A memory.
Okay, A memory. What I'm thankful for
or what you're thankful for? Definitely thankful for my life. That's for
sure. I'm definitely thankful for my son.
He's changed my life in so many good ways.
He's such a cutie By the way, this is my son, so I do know
him. He just came in my brain.
I'm thankful for my friends, for my life.
I don't have any friends, but I'm thankful for the ones that I have.
My imaginary friends. I'm thankful for my
imaginary friends too. And the real ones. Both of them. I'm actually thankful for
both. It's just family. I'm thankful for my friends too. And our family is so
spread out around the country. So I'm thankful when we can see each other. So
that's also really, really cool. Tennessee over here.
Yeah, same. You live in Tennessee too? Oh my
goodness. I didn't know that. Who knew?
I thought I lived in North Carolina, actually. I actually lived in
Australia. That's a pretty good accent, actually.
That's funny. Do you remember when you got here? What? We ate a lot from
Moldova. You gotta keep your face in here.
Fruits and vegetables. We had so many carrots.
You remember those big bags? Yeah. I would buy. I would buy.
Go ahead. I was going to say people would ask you if you had horses.
They would, all the time. I go to a local grocery
store and there was a lot of horse farms around. And
then so I buy this 10 pound bag of carrots and 10 pound bag of
apples and they'd ask me if I had horses. And I'm like, no, I have
Moldovan children. That was
a good memory. You know, that's some fun stuff. Big old bowl of
fruit. That would be gone like instantly.
Yeah. So when they first got here, they love fruit. So we'd fill this
massive bowl up with fruit and just let them eat. So
they knew that there was always going to be food available when they were hungry.
So I think you guys, I had to cut it off after a while cuz
it was averaging 50 pieces of fruit a day.
Yep. Well, right now the food's so expensive. I don't know if you could afford
that big old bowl. But back then. Oh, I couldn't afford the bowl then either.
Like that was. Sorry, that was a lot. That's why. But that was a
day. What? And then we kind of cut it down to. Yeah,
a few more and I'm like, okay, just one apple, one orange, one banana
a day. We won't eat four of each. But
yeah, it was, it was good. I mean, you know, that's healthy. It's not.
It's not like candy. It's not like a bowl of candy. It's a bowl of
fruit. Nature's candy. Healthier
And now I get to do eat whatever I want. And it's still not candy,
guys. Still not candy. No candy. Yeah.
Yeah. Even though he doesn't like any food. Still like that. He likes
what food? Watermelon. Honeycomb. What's it called? Like
honey. Honeydew. No. Bananas. No. Grapes. No.
Strawberries. I like grapes. I don't like strawberries. Okay. It's
for the camera, you say? Yes. Real. Okay, well, I. I like grapes.
Okay. I'm going to have to buy him some grapes. We'll
try it out tonight. You keep kicking my camera.
Keep your feet to yourself, young man. That goes for all of you out
there, too. Keep your hands and your feet to. Yourself,
cuz, for everyone. That's right. Keep your hands and your feet to yourself. And
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Bye.
Did you like that? You can watch more episodes here. Subscribe over
here. We actually have new episodes with awesome guests every
Thursday, so check back in.
Is that all?