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You might think you need more clarity.
But most women already know what they feel.
They've just spent years overriding themselves to survive.
Hi, I'm Carina Bull—trauma-aware facilitator, intuitive mentor, and host of Soul Medicine.
I help women recognise the survival patterns and roles they've mistaken for who they are, so they can remember who they were before survival taught them who they had to be.
Every week, I invite you into the conversations I'm already having with the women I work with.
Conversations about survival.
Self-abandonment.
Identity.
Relationships.
Boundaries.
Self-trust.
And what becomes possible when we finally begin seeing ourselves differently.
No quick fixes.
No performative positivity.
Just honest conversations.
Thoughtful questions.
Fresh perspectives.
Nervous system awareness.
And the kind of emotional truth-telling that quietly changes the way you see yourself.
Because sometimes healing doesn't begin with finding the answer.
Sometimes it begins the moment you see yourself differently.
Welcome to Soul Medicine.
Episode #6 Afraid to Feel Happy? Why Good Things Feel Unsafe
[00:00:00] Welcome back to yet another inspirational podcast episode, brought to you by yours truly, Carina from Healergy. I'm your truth speaker, truth seeker, truth keeper, and I am so glad that you're here with me today Hello and welcome back. And before we start this session, I just wanna quickly recap on what we spoke about last episode, just to refresh your memory.
So last episode, we were stood in the fog together, and we named the [00:01:00] ache of being in the in-between, of no longer who you were, but not yet who you're becoming. And if you've been walking through that moon energy, the confusion, the disorientation, you know how heavy it can feel. But what happens when the fog begins to thin?
When the first slivers of light start breaking through? Sometimes that's almost scarier than the darkness itself because after everything you've been through, what do you do with the light? You know, how do you trust it's safe to step into? Because healing isn't just about surviving the night, it's about learning how to live in the light that follows.
And for me, the first light after burnout and [00:02:00] grief didn't feel peaceful, not one little bit. It felt blinding, almost like I'd been living underground for years, and when I finally came up for air, the sun hurt my eyes. You know? Burning kind of sensation. And I remember thinking, "I've survived the night, but how the hell do I live in the day?"
After everything I'd lost, everything I'd let go of, I didn't know who I was anymore. You know, the old me didn't fit, but I wasn't sure who the new me was either yet. And there's a strange ache in that moment, realizing you've survived, but now you have to rebuild. And I think for me, and for most people, that's the hardest part.
You know, where do you [00:03:00] even begin? Where do you start? And for some of you, it might not even feel like you've survived the night. You know, maybe it's hour by hour or even minute by minute. You know, that was me as a first-time mom, newborn in my arms, running on no sleep, unsure if I'd ever feel like myself again, walking through the fog in the daylight, hoping that eventually the ground would steady beneath my feet And you know, I just wanna say to you, you do what you need to do to get through it, whether that's minute by minute or hour by hour.
It won't always be like that. And there's a saying that comes to mind too, um, which might be familiar to you also as a mom, is, "This too shall pass." And I remember saying that a few times [00:04:00] over and over just to get through a particular challenge or situation at the time, and it is true. It does pass. And so, you know, maybe you felt this too, okay?
The quiet terror of realizing that healing doesn't mean life goes back to how it was. It means life will never be the same. And that right there, that's you being out of your comfort zone, and I know it's uncomfortable, but this is the place where true growth happens. There's a sh- saying I often share with clients, "You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable."
Because discomfort is the bridge between who you were and who you're becoming. So when the fog does begin to lift, it asks something of you. [00:05:00] It asks, will you let yourself soften into the light even if you don't recognize yourself yet? Will you allow joy even when grief still lingers in your bones? And will you trust that what's ahead can be different from what's been?
And this is where integration begins, okay? So it's not bypassing what's happened. It's not pretending it didn't shape you, but it's learning how to weave the wisdom of the dark into the way you now walk in the light. And if this resonates with you, if you feel yourself in these words, hit follow so you don't miss what's next, because we're just getting started, and what's coming will keep walking you forward one step at a time.
And here's what I want you to know right now, in this [00:06:00] moment, with me, here, just you and I. The light isn't asking you to be perfect. It's simply asking you to keep showing up, to keep breathing, to let each sunrise remind you that your story isn't over. It's unfolding Your scars are not proof of brokenness They're proof you've lived, loved, and chosen to begin again.
Like the butterfly emerging from the cocoon, like the phoenix, you know, rising from the ashes. You're not who you were. You're becoming who you were always meant to be. And if no one has told you this lately, I will. You belong here, [00:07:00] not because you've healed every wound or figured everything out, but because you're human, because your tenderness is holy.
There's nothing you have to prove to earn your place in the light. And if you've been craving someone to walk beside you in this in-between, to hold space for your grief and your hope, I want you to know that's what I do. You know, I blend tarot, reiki, and deep coaching to help women like you alchemize pain into purpose and start living the life that's calling to them And if you feel called to, then you'll find my contact details in the show notes if you feel ready for that first small step
Now, before we conclude our episode for the day, I just want you [00:08:00] to take a moment with me now, and I invite you to take a breath with me, hand on heart if it feels good And on the inhale, just want you to sort of think around how I've survived the night And on the exhale, I'm learning to live in the light
So on the inhale I've survived the night And exhale, I'm learning to live in the light And just say it softly to yourself. You know, it's about being kind to yourself in these moments. You have survived the night, and you are learning to live again in the light[00:09:00]
So that leads me into our next episode, where we'll explore, um, more of what it means to rebuild from this place, to create a life that not only holds you but nourishes you back. Because surviving is one thing, but thriving, that's where the real magic begins. And if this episode spoke to you, hit follow so you don't miss what's coming, and we'll keep walking this path together.
Until next time, just because it was doesn't mean it will be. With love, Carina